Bits In Between

By Lumendea

Chapter Thirty-Three: Horror on Hela

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of the spinoff material, and I gain no income off of this story, just the satisfaction of playing with the characters.

AN: Thank you to Smalltowngirl for the idea of writing a POV for the Eighth Doctor during The Eternal Ones/Screams in Time "episodes" in the Travels in Time and Space season and EmmaShadow who gave me a nudge to finish this.

…

His arrival on Hela wasn't a mission. It had been the work of the TARDIS. His dear old ship had brought him to the planet after detecting a problem. The Doctor hurried to investigate. There was no point in alerting Gallifrey until he knew what was happening. And there might not be time for reports and debates on Gallifrey. The Web of Time was fraying dangerously on a planet that had never been one of the anchor points.

He'd braced himself for anything. Well, anything except seeing her again. Charley, the fixed point that he'd changed in a moment of emotional weakness and perhaps hubris, was here. Standing right in front of him, a bit older and weighed down by the life he'd saved. Burdened by his rejection and being left behind. And yet, he couldn't feel guilt for that. Not with the Time War tearing apart the universe. Far better that she was lonely and lost away from him than in that mess as a fixed point that should be dead.

He tore his attention from Charley and studied the pair of humanoids with her. One was himself, older and regenerated. The Doctor wasn't sure how to feel about that. Should he celebrate that there was some kind of future beyond all of this? Apparently, it was even the next him. Next to no distance.

His future companion introduced herself, bold and calm and apparently already aware of regeneration. Her awareness of him and his history with himselves was made clear when she warned them not to fight. The brief moment of levity had granted him a moment to recover himself and study this Rose Tyler and Charley.

Charley's timelines, as rough and knotted as ever, grated on his senses. It was only made worse by the comparison to the young woman beside her. Rose's timelines were twisted and curled around themselves in an elegant knot that was smooth and tightly coiled. One wild and one woven. Both fascinating in their way, but one was almost soothing and enticing even if he couldn't see the details of the timelines, while the other made him want to look away in guilt and shame.

"I think… I think that I remember you," he tells Rose. "Your timelines are very bright."

She confirmed that they had met before, though she did not disclose the circumstances. Clever girl. As a Time Lord, he approved. Nonetheless, she agreed to investigate with him when Charley insisted on going with his older self. The Doctor fought back a flinch. It seemed that her hurt feelings had not healed. The other Doctor was not happy with the arrangement, showing a clear preference for Rose. When pushed, his older self informed him that the White Guardian himself had ordered that their companion Rose Tyler be kept safe. He wasn't sure what to make of that; it was another mystery for the pile.

Mysteries were good. It distracted him from Charley. He'd cared about her. In truth, she had always been as close to true romantic attraction as he'd ever gotten in his lives. Curiosity and affection had played a role in his social interactions over the years, to be sure, but Charley had been a bit different. And he'd flirted and returned a kiss and raised her hopes too much. As much as a rebel as he'd always been, there were some lines he was uncomfortable crossing. Physical relations, on occasion, but emotionally romantic ones, never. He'd pulled back, she'd pushed, and all of it had fallen apart. If he'd had more time… if she could have been a bit more patient… He pushed the thoughts away. That ship had sailed as humans said, and he was in the midst of a war.

Rose proves to be lovely. She is kind and careful with him. So very careful. He can't even bring himself to resent her caution. It's apparent that she knows about the war. He asks how long she's been traveling with him. It's only a year, and already he's warned her about regeneration and opened himself up enough that she can predict the moods of a past version. It's both a reassuring and terrifying thought to know such a relationship is waiting on the other side of the war.

Then the Monk shows himself. He knows about Rose, but there's no time to worry about that. The Doctor gets Rose away from him, the words of his future self telling him to keep her safe ringing in his ears. They meet up again, but it brings no comfort.

Gallifrey is gone. Burned by his own hand. Rage and grief fill both him and his future self, but his future has Rose Tyler beside him to comfort him. His next self has Rose to assure him that he is the Doctor while he can only listen and desperately hope that she's right. But what does that make him, what will that make him at the end? Is he still the Doctor?

Press on. They have to press on. His future isn't what matters now. Hela matters, the universe matters. If Gallifrey is to burn to save the universe, then he must make sure there is a universe to save first. The Monk mocks them, taunts him with his future, and dangles a future without his terrible destiny before him.

The Timelords or the universe. His future self reveals the choice he'll face—a terrible one. The memory of the vision he saw so long ago in the schism haunts him. Why him? Why this him? His last self, the Champion of Time, would have been up to the task. That poor version of him that was moved around a chessboard like a pawn by the Eternal Time and responded by trying to control everything he could manage. Yet, it seemed that even that Eternal had abandoned this universe. Left him and his people to their fate. He's spent his life running from the vision in the schism, and yet, it wasn't enough. Never far enough or fast enough.

Ever the coward, he turns his attention to something else. Rose Tyler. The young woman was so quick to comfort his future self with timelines spinning around her as if she was the sun to a glittering solar system. Looking at them triggered the strangest sense of déjà vu. A dream he's forgotten. A longing that helped make him who he is now.

Thankfully, Rose and Charley are separated from him and his next self before he can act even more foolishly. His future self is defensive when asked about Rose. He defends himself, pointing to the trauma of the Time War, and admits that he needs her. All he can do is point out how the man sounds while a terrifying thought takes hold.

He couldn't fall in love with Charley. He wanted to, wanted to feel for her what she did for him, wanted to understand all those poems and stories he'd read over the years. It seemed that he might have that in the future, just not with the woman he'd assumed the most likely candidate. None of it gave him any comfort. Not with the pit shaking and the universe once more on the edge of a knife.

They run to the schism, the Monk's mocking in his ears. His old friend is broken, a willing servant of the Eternals. The last two Time Lords, the one who killed them and the one who doesn't care. Yet, he and his future self could do nothing. The Eternals were upon them, and he was overwhelmed. The last thing he saw was a flash of gold as Rose rushed to defend them.

He regained consciousness in a room full of signs of Charley living there. But no Charley herself. The Black Guardian looms over them but makes no move to harm him. He tells them that Charley closed to the rift, and Rose confirms it. Charley is gone. Not even dead, consumed by a rift in time. All of her complex, twisting timelines devoured to patch a hole.

The Doctor doesn't know how to feel. There is guilt, pride, and relief. Brilliant and brave Charley. Nothing ever broke her. But he won't remember, not until he is the man beside him. The man in love with a different companion. That brings only more guilt and terrible relief that the burden of sorting these feelings will fall on the man he will become.