Chapter 1

Temari winced at her throbbing head. Her eyes opened to stare at a ceiling. A ceiling she didn't recognise. She didn't recognise the room or the blanket on top of her either. Where was she? Was this Suna or Konoha? What day was it? What was the time? And what was that thing on her legs?

It was huge and heavy, the weight of it made her legs numb. It started to move so she gave it a kick. There was a loud, "Ow!" followed by a deep groan. Was that thing a person?!

The lump beneath the blanket muttered, "Troublesome woman."

Oh hell no, she thought.

She threw the blanket back to find a head between her legs. He was curled into a ball by her legs and whining,"Right in the balls, Tem."

"Shikamaru! What are you-," She began to shout, noticing he was shirtless and pantsless - her cheeks grew flushed. "Why- why are you naked?" She asked quietly. Then she realised she was in a swimsuit, "What AM I WEARING?"

She dressed, barely, in a bright blue glittery bikini with plastic sequins. It was like she was in someone else's body. She grabbed her boobs, which were practically falling our of her top to make sure, yeap this body was hers. She would never wear something like this ever. She didn't have any recollection of ever buying this bikini. There could only be one explanation. She looked back at Shikamaru and kicked him in the chest again, hard enough that he fell over the bed with a loud thump.

He groaned louder. "Ow. Do I have a 'kick me' sign on my forehead?" He muttered from the floor between coughs. "My head is pounding."

"What did you do to me?" She asked, trying to pull the blanket back around to cover herself up. She crawled to the edge of the bed that Shikamaru had rolled off, "I would never wear anything like this, so it has to be you!"

Shikamaru had a disgruntled look on his face. With his eyes shut, he spoke, "I have no idea, Temari. I woke up between your legs -cough- thinking this was a dream, but - cough, my chest caving in... is making me think otherwise."

"Do you remember anything?" She asked him, hugging the blanket tighter around herself. Her head felt like it was about to explode. These bare circumstances weren't good for her heart. She watched Shikamaru wither on the floor, rolling to his feet. She tried to avoid looking at his bare ass as he stood up but couldn't help herself.

"I remember walking out of Gaara's office with all my clothes on," Shikamaru said, finally getting up. He grabbed a pillow to cover himself.

Shikamaru looked to Temari and his eyes widened.

"What?" She asked, feeling self conscious. Could he read her thoughts? Did he know she was oogling his ass.

"Your hair..." He said.

"What?!" She brought a hand to her neck, to find there wasn't any hair. No ponytails. She searched her head, and felt short tufts of hair between her fingers. Really short.

She got off the bed and ran into the little bathroom behind Shikamaru to look in the mirror. She saw a girl with her green eyes, sporting a short blond pixie cut. For what felt like the hundredth time this morning, she went, "WHAT?!" She stared at herself in the mirror.

She'd been thinking about cutting her hair recently but she would never actually do it. She searched her memory, she remembered leaving Suna with her usual ponytails... then there might have been a car? It was foggy. .. When did this haircut happen? Where did this outfit come from? What were they doing here? When did any of this happen?

Temari noticed Shikamaru's reflection appear behind her in the mirror. He stood at the door behind her, leaning onto the doorframe. Temari tried not to be too obvious, but her eyes went straight to his exposed skin - the muscles on his chest to his abs and right down to the pillow over his crotch. C'mon Temari, focus, she chided herself.

Shikamaru's voice caught her attention. "Not to freak you out, but I'm sticky all over and I need a shower."

"Sticky? Do you mean...," Temari asked, with a deep sick feeling in her stomach.

"No, it's not that kind of sticky... It's like a soda spilled on my hair kind of sticky. Or like a beer in my face kind of sticky," he assured her.

Relieved, Temari went, "Okay. Alright. I-I'll leave you to it." She narrowly squeezed past him through the narrow door frame.

"Thanks," Shikamaru said stepping into the bathroom and just before he shut the door, he mentioned, "For what it's worth, you look really good."

Shikamaru closed the door behind him, letting out a huge sigh of relief. The circumstances this morning were unfortunate, but not entirely unpleasant.

Waking up between Temari's thighs, and seeing her like that with a new haircut and a glittery blue thong bikini, was almost a dream come true.

Right now his head hurt, his throat was dry and he was sure he'd have to spend the day with a huge bruise on his chest and half a functioning lung, but he'd recover. He always did after nights out with the boys. And usually whatever happened the night before was never really significant or life-changing in any way.

Unlike Temari who he surmised was rightfully freaking out on the other side of the door, Shikamaru was relieved she was here. They would figure it all out, they always did.