Fic takes place present day
I don't own Chuck
She cleaned her gun meticulously, hoping that would keep her thoughts off of the man in the other room.
Here is your ticket and your new passport. Your name is Hector Caldaron.
Sarah, wait.
We have plenty of time to talk on the train. Right now we have to act fast. Trust me, Chuck. It's all going to work out fine.
If she lived to be two hundred, she would never forget that moment. She thought it was the first moment of the rest of her life. The first moment of what would be happiness. She kissed him and knew that it was not going to be. Oh, part of her hoped, the girl in her hoped, the stupid one, she hoped. But the agent…the agent in her knew. She continued to polish the metal, holding it up, and seeing her reflection in it.
That's not the kiss that I was expecting.
Sarah, there is an entire facility here dedicated and designed to turning me into Intersect 2.0. I mean, think about it. Think about that. Me, a real spy, you know, living a life of adventure, and doing things that really matter.
The frown on her face deepend, thinking about that moment, where she put herself in front of him. Her, the girl…Sarah Walker, not Agent Sarah Walker…but the girl. No, not the girl, the woman that loved him. The woman who would do anything for him, and that's why she was in the mess she was in right now.
She laid the gun down, placing her palms flat on the table, and thought about how he had reached her. The woman, not the agent. The woman he made giggle, made her twist her lips to the side when he said something to irritate Casey. The one who told him he could have anything, when he should want anything….and perhaps that was it. Perhaps in that moment he realized he could do better. Her memory continued to assault her.
It's not that simple. You don't know who you're working for. It's complicated. Nothing is real. This... This is simple. This is a real life.
She swore she could still hear those bells clanging, but she wondered was it the heart of the woman breaking.
We have to go, Chuck. This is it. Are you coming?
Her dad used to listen to a song called Midnight in Montgomery and there was a line in the song that she never used to understand. She did now.
I can hear that wistle moanin', I'm so lonesome I could cry
The whistle in that moment…she had never felt so alone in her life. Not when her father was captured. Not when she gave the baby to her mother. Not when she realized in Cabo that her and Bryce could never have anything together.
She shook her head as she began to clean her gun again. He had left her at a train station. She took Bryce's ashes and spread them as he had asked. When she got back to the states, she found her father, and he offered her a part in his newest con. She told him no thanks. She knew what he was, and he wasn't going to change, but she didn't need another man letting her down then. She knew what she needed, and even though she shouldn't, that's how she found herself parked three blocks away, and walking the streets at dusk, watching every which way around her.
She knocked on the door, and part of her hoped no one would be home. When the door opened, she thought she might cry. She entered, told her mom everything was okay with the baby, and let herself be hugged as only a mother can hug a daughter.
}o{
"So, after two years of telling him that you couldn't because of the job," Emma began.
"Mom!" Sarah protested. "It's nothing like that. I was trying to save him."
"And he didn't want to be saved," Emma pointed out. "If only I had some experience with that." Sarah didn't know what to say about that. She had never thought about it that way. "There's always some person in our life we'll do anything for, regardless of how mad we are at them, and do you know why?" Sarah looked down at her hands. Her elbows were on her knees and she was hunched forward. She knew the answer, but she couldn't say it or look her mom in the eye at that moment. "Because we love them. So you have two choices at this moment."
"I never want to see him again," Sarah told her, looking up.
"Then you have to leave, and I don't mean just California, I mean the CIA," Emma told her. "If this goes well, what's gonna happen?"
"He's going to want to be my partner," Sarah said.
"And if it doesn't?"
Sarah snorted. "He's gonna come to me to help him."
"Why?" Emma asked. Sarah couldn't answer. Emma picked up a remote and fiddled with it for a few minutes. A song began to play she didn't recognize. Emma held up her finger. "Now," she said.
You don't know what it's like to live on your own
You've always had me there beside you
You think it's easy finding someone out there
Who's gonna care as much as I do?
What's gonna happen baby when you find out
That there's no one there to cry to?
You can tell the whole world how you're gonna make it
You can follow your heart but what ya do when someone breaks it?
Who will you run to when it all falls down?
Who's gonna pick your world up off from the ground?
Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?
Who's gonna love you baby as good as I?
You found a new world and you want to taste it
But that world can turn cold and you better face it
}o{
She heard a noise in the other room pulling her out of her thoughts. She paused cleaning her gun, waiting to see if he was free. She leaned back, looking through the doorway, and saw the chair and it's occupant had fallen over. He was struggling to get loose from the restraints. She leaned back and began to clean her gun some more. She'd give him more time…maybe she'd be in a better mood later. She doubted it, but maybe.