AJ x

The team had been back in the cabin for 30 minutes. As soon as JJ's head hit the pillow she was out like a light, the tiredness was finally catching up to her.

"I still don't understand how we could get everything so wrong." Garcia had given up tapping away on her laptop and was sat on Emily's bed watching JJ sleep.

"She's good, well give her that." Emily sat up and joined Garcia. The men were listening into their convocation "When the cases involving child abuse or prostitutes came, we all just put her change in moods down to it being a hard case."

"None of us saw it because she didn't want us too and deep down we didn't want to see it either." Hotch put down the book he was reading.

"When we were sitting with her out by the dock, she scared me. She was so cold and distant. Nothing like our JJ. I honestly thought we would never get her back." Emily put her arms round Garcia as she let a few tears fall.

"We haven't got her back yet." Reid said from the other side of the room causing Morgan to throw a pillow at him and Hotch and Rossi to throw him glares "What! I'm not saying we wont, I'm just saying we still have a way to go yet." Reid sat back and got on with reading him book.

"The funeral is in a few days; maybe we should do something tomorrow so get her mind of things." Morgan suggested.

"Something fun so she can make some new good memories with us. She still needs reassuring that were not going to abandon her like everyone else." Garcia sat up.

"That's a good Idea we can ask her later what she would like to do." Hotch gave them all one of his rare smiles.

It wasn't long before nightmares started to fill JJ's dreams.

She was in her bedroom, the one she had as a child and he was there on top of her. She could feel his weight on her body, his hands on her hips and his breath in her neck. She could hear his whispers in her ear 'Oh my kitten, you're so beautiful. So tight my sweet, sweet Kitten.'. But the worst of all she could feel him inside her. Pain shot up threw her body, she was begging him to stop to leave her alone but he wouldn't he just kept going. She turned to look away from the monster and what she saw scared her just as much as the man on top of her. They were all there Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Emily, Reid and Garcia. They were standing there in the door way just watching with disgusted looks on their faces. She begged them for help but they didn't come, they didn't stop him. With one last beg they just walked away. They turned their backs on her.

"No…" A whimper came from JJ and broke the quite whispers that were being spoken between the group "please…" Hotch, Emily and Garcia moved closer to JJ while the other men moved to the bed opposite JJ's so not to crowed her "Walt, don't"

"Shhh JJ its ok." Hotch rested his hand on her upper arm.

"Please, one night just leave me for one night me, please." Tears were falling down JJ temples and she was lying flat on her back with her arms pined above her head.

"Jayje, your safe sweetheart, wake up for us." Emily whispered.

"NO! Please your hurting me stop!" JJ started thrashing round but still seemingly pined down.

"JJ wake you, he's not here. You're with the team." Hotch gently shook JJ.

"NO! Hotch, Em, Morgan Don't leave me, please come back." A small trickle of blood ran from JJ's nose down the side of her face. The team looked up at each other with dread "Pen, Reid, Rossi please don't leave me with him. Please Walt get off me."

JJ's eyes burst open and she shot up from the bed causing Emily and Garcia to jump out of the way. She stood in the middle of the room looking round like she didn't know where she was. Then recognition filled her eyes and she remembered everything that had happened.

She brought her hand up to her mouth and covered the sob that escaped. She remembered the dream she had. Emily was the first to pull her self together and slowly walked over to JJ with her hands up in surrender to show the frightened woman she wasn't going to do anything.

"You ok JJ. Were here."

"You left me." JJ removed her hands and whispered.

"Were still here sweetheart. We didn't go anywhere." Emily frowned.

"No, in my dream." JJ's whole body was shaking with fear.

"Tell us about your dream JJ." Rossi stood but didn't make his was forward.

"Wa…W…He was there…o…on top of me. He wouldn't get of. I begged him but he wouldn't, he kept telling me how good it felt and kept calling me his kitten."

"Then what baby girl." Morgan moved and Joined Emily a few steps away from JJ. She looked so tired and broken, like a single gust of wind would blow her over. So he moved closer to catch her if she collapsed.

"Th…then you were there, all of you, you were watching. Then you left, you left me there…with him." JJ took a few deep breaths to try and calm her shaking.

"Oh Baby." It was hurting Morgan to see her like this.

"Come here JJ." Emily moved the final few steps and pulled JJ into a hug "We would never ever do that to you, do hear me? If he ever comes close to you again, I will kill him with my bare hands."

"We all will." Morgan rubbed her back.

They all came a bit closer to JJ, they didn't want to over crowed the fragile woman but they wanted her to know that they were there for good.

"I can still feel him on me sometimes, still smell him." JJ pulled back from Emily and looked at the all "For years, I longed for someone to know my secret, in the hope that they'd stop the pain and stop me from hurting." She felt Garcia's comforting arm wrap round her waist "I don't know how to handle things, Its all spiraling out of control."

"Were going to help you JJ, were going to be right here threw it all." Reid gave her a comforting smile over Emily's shoulder and that's when JJ noticed blood on her shirt.

"Emily, there's blood on you." JJ looked at her concerned.

"It's yours Jayje." Emily also gave her a sad smile.

"Oh" JJ put her hand to her nose and pulled it away noticing that it was in fact her blood. She remembered something and turned a ghostly white.

"What is it JJ?" Hotch asked noticing her colour change.

"Erm…When I left here and went into witness protection. I struggled with the fact what I was leaving Jess and Horizon behind and then starting at University, well it was a lot of stress and my body couldn't cope with it I guess." JJ looked down at the small spot of blood on her fingers "I started to get nose bleeds and I eventually collapsed in the middle of one of my classes. I was in hospital for a few days. The doctors said all the stress was causing my blood pressure to rocket and if I didn't get under control I could have a stroke."

Rossi and Morgan ran their hands over their faces, while Hotch ran his threw his hair. This was starting to get life threatening.

"And you're only telling us this now!" Rossi stated, his voice filled with concern.

"Sorry I guess it slipped my mind. It had been a long few days after all." Rossi rolled his eyes as JJ glared at him.

"Its ok, were just…going to have to watch you." Hotch sighed. Something else he had to worry about.

"Great, now you all have an excuse to stare at me." JJ said coldly but regretted it quickly "Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that I just…" Hotch gave her a smile and shook his head "I'm gonna go for a shower." JJ moved round Emily and grabbed her things.

"But that's the third one you've had today" Reid was curious as to why she started showering so much. JJ stopped with her back still to them.

"Reid leave it." Morgan but his hand on the youngest team members shoulder. JJ heard him and continued walking into the shower room.

An hour passed and JJ still hadn't returned from the shower and they were all glancing at the door every few minutes worried about what she was doing in there and if she was ok.

"I'm going to check on her." Emily said abruptly standing from the bed.

The others didn't say anything or try and stop her because they were about to do the same thing.

Emily gently knocked on the door and waited for a reply. When she didn't get one she opened the door, went in and closed it behind her. The room was still filled with a large amount of steam and as soon as she opened the door the heat hit her like a smack in the face.

It took a second for Emily go get used to the heat and when she did she noticed JJ was standing at one of the sinks with her white town wrapped tightly at her chest staring into one of the mirrors with her arms wrapped round her middle for safety. As Emily got closer she could see that JJ's eyes were still red from where she had been crying again. Her skin was also bright red and blotchy in places but what worried Emily more was the face that JJ had new blood spots on her chest and arms.

"Oh Jayje." The pity pored from her voice and made JJ shudder. Emily reached out to touch JJ but as soon as she made contact she flinched away "Hey, its just me, I'm not going to hurt you." Emily didn't let the hurt be heard in her voice although JJ didn't need to hear it, she could tell it was there anyway. She felt she owed Emily an explanation.

"How can I expect you to touch me when I can't even touch my own skin? That's why I have showered so much over the past few days. I hate being dirty, I would give anything to be clean again, to be whole." JJ looked at Emily and pointed to the marks on her chest "I haven't done this since I left here Em."

"Wait here for a second." Emily rubbed JJ's arm and there was a small flicker of hope when JJ didn't flinch away. Emily walked over to the closed door and stepped out.

5 sets of eyes shot up and looked at her.

"Don't worry she's…ok. Erm…have any of you got any antiseptic cream with you"

Hotch ruffled threw his Go bag.

"Why?" Garcia asked. Fear struck her not for the first time that day.

"She's been scrubbing her skin raw again, by the time we leave she wont have any left is she keeps this up."

"Why dose she do it?" Reid looked curious. He had wanted to ask JJ last time they spotted it but he didn't feel comfortable.

"Because she wants to feel clean." Morgan looked down at his hands remembering the number of times he had done it as a teenager.

"But surly talking the shower would do that. She wouldn't have to scrub her skin till she bled."

'Reid is so naive sometimes' Hotch thought to himself as he found the cream and handed it to Emily.

"Wrong kind of clean kid." It was with that small statement from Morgan that Reid knew what he meant now and Morgan received sad looks from everyone as they all remembered what they knew about his past.

"Thankyou." Emily gave Hotch a smile and returned to JJ in the Shower room.

JJ was no longer stood by the sink; she was stat up against the wall opposite the door. Emily joined her on the floor and healed out the cream.

"Would you like me to do it?" She asked when JJ didn't take it. She just nodded and Emily set to work.

As she put the first dot of cream on some of the spots she noticed a distant look in JJ's eye.

"We were all thinking we could do something tomorrow. Something fun, to get your mind of things." Emily was trying desperately hard to get the old JJ back "What do you think?"

"I think that would be good." JJ answered after a minute with a twitch of a smile.

Emily went back out to the others when she had finished applying the cream to let JJ get changed.

"Thanks again Hotch." Emily went to hand him the cream back.

"Keep it you might need it again." He gave her a sad smile and she gave him one in return placing the cream in her go bag.

"I asked JJ if she wanted to do something tomorrow and she agreed." Emily said and saw Garcia and Morgan sit up with a smile.

"Really?" Garcia asked and was answered by Emily's nod.

JJ walked out the shower room and without warning was wrapped up in Morgan's tight and comforting hold.

"Baby girl" He whispered in her ear so only she could hear "If you ever need to talk, day or night you know where I am. I might not know about everything your going threw but I have an idea about some of it." He looked at her face and her eyes filled with tears. It meant a lot to her that Morgan would say something like that as he had never mentioned what had happened to him as a teenager since he was arrested.

"Thankyou." She whispered back and placed a soft kiss on his cheek causing him to blush a little. He pulled away but kept one arm wrapped round her shoulder.

"So what is there to do round this place?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

"This place is practically a summer camp. If it wasn't for all the delinquent teenagers and screw ups, it properly would be." They all chuckled as a small spark appeared in JJ's still dull blue eyes "Don't worry, I have a few ideas." Hotch and Rossi worried slightly when they caught the mischievous look on her face "It'll be an early one though."

All the men visibly groaned but Emily and Garcia didn't care if they had to get up early. They were just happy they still had their best friend.

A/N the next chapter is...well its not light but it is a lot lighter than the last fewwA/N the next chapter is...well its not light but it is a lot lighter than the last fewould still love to know what all you amazing people think

AJ x