Previously...
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: …
[Wedding Party] Best Man OldRamenMan: …
[Wedding Party] Groomsman RollOutBoy: …
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: … Oi, ***hole, r u getting stood up?
Currently...
"I think this might be the first time for Sasuke," Kiba mused.
The three of them had made it back to the dorms, and since Sasuke wasn't here to be his regular neat freak self, they'd thrown their suits onto the floor and thrown their smelly socks onto his bed. Now they were lounging at the large desk in the center of their dorm, all ready to watch their brother get married in casual sweats.
They were just missing a bride.
"Getting stood up?" Chouji asked, settling down with his carefully chosen snacks. He'd spent fifteen minutes choosing the perfect combination and sequence of chips for the event. Naruto glanced over and snickered - Good thing the bride is late, or we'd have been down one groomsman.
"Dude, getting married is a first for this asshole," Naruto said, trying to be sneaky and reaching over to steal some of Chouji's chips.
Chouji smacked his hand away, "Get your own chips!" Just as Naruto opened his mouth to piss Chouji off by trying to wheedle a chip out of him, all three of their computers dinged.
[Wedding Party] System: The Bride SakuraBlossom has joined the party.
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Sorry I'm late!
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: You're fine
"He's totally lying his ass off. I bet Sasuke's got that constipated frog look on right now,", Kiba said, also absently reaching over to steal one of Chouji's chips.
Chouji snatched the bag away from him, scowling, "Wolves! I'm surrounded by wolves!"
"Beats me," Naruto shrugged, "Stop horsing around, guys, they're about to get started."
Kiba snorted, "Coming from you, that's rich."
In a shabby little shop in the Central Hidden City, full of nothing but spools of red thread, a doddering old man sat behind the counter. He had a full head of white hair and two red lines running down his face, and he was entirely ignoring the customers in his store, in favour of a little, brightly-coloured book in his hand.
[Wedding Party] System: Are the Bride and Groom ready to begin the ceremony and join hands to walk the Way of the Ninja together? Type Y to start the ceremony, W to wait, C to cancel
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Y
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: W
[Wedding Party] Best Man OldRamenMan: WHAT?!
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: ?
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: Yo, if you're having second thoughts, I'll marry 3SIL instead
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Keep dreaming
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: I'm kidding!
[Whisper] SmirkM1ster: Bride Price
[Self] System: Sm1rkMeister has offered SakuraBlossom 1 [God-Tier Equipment Set box]. Type Y to accept or N to Reject the offer.
Bride Price? Sakura blinked when the offer came in through chat, then scowled. I've never taken equipment from a guy, and I'm not about to start now.
[Self] SakuraBlossom: N
[Whisper] Sm1rkMeister: Just take it. You'll need it for the tournament
[Whisper] Sm1rkMeister: Consider it an advance on the tournament winnings
Sakura bit her lip. It was true, her current set was only a legendary set. Not that God-tier would be that much of an upgrade… but… she could pay him back… And I really want to win.
[Self] System: Sm1rkMeister has offered SakuraBlossom [1 God-Tier Equipment box]. Type Y to accept or N to Reject the offer.
[Self] SakuraBlossom: Y
[Self] System: Sm1rkMeister has given [1 God-Tier Equipment Set box] to SakuraBlossom
[Whisper to Sm1rkMeister] SakuraBlossom: Wait
[Self] System: SakuraBlossom has offered [1 God-tier Max Level Potion] to Sm1rkMeister. Pending his acceptance or refusal.
[Whisper to Sm1rkMeister] SakuraBlossom: Dowry
[Whisper to Sm1rkMeister] SakuraBlossom: It's not much
[Whisper to Sm1rkMeister] SakuraBlossom: I'll make it up to you later.
[Self] System: Sm1rkMeister has accepted the offer!
[Self] System: SakuraBlossom has given [1 God-tier Max Level Potion] to Sm1rkMeister.-
[Wedding Party] System: Are the Bride and Groom ready to begin the ceremony and join hands to walk the Way of the Ninja together? Type Y to start the ceremony, W to wait, C to cancel
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Y
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Y
[Announcement] System: Two hands walking down the Way of the Ninja together have joined hands, two hearts beat in sync. Join us today in celebrating the happy union of Sm1rkMeister and SakuraBlossom today, as they become two halves of one whole.
[Wedding Party] System: To begin the marriage ceremony, go find Jiraiya, the old man under the moon, who forges red strings of happiness to tie couples together. Ask him for a fortune and a string.
Since they were already standing in the store Under the Moon, they didn't have far to go. The old man behind the counter seemed to finally realize there were customers in his store. As he put away his book and straightened up, his shabby commoner's clothing transformed into bright red brocade, and he seemed to grow several feet taller and wider until his broad, muscular presence filled the store. The inside of the store itself became more golden and brighter, and the many spools of dusty spools shone in many different shades of red, from a dark maroon to a true apple red, and even an orangy fire red.
He beamed at Sakura and Meister, beckoning them closer to the counter. A cut scene started. Old reached forward and took both their hands, beaming jovially as he spoke.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Well, well, well, another happy couple!
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Let me see your four pillars of destiny
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: And the result is…
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: A match of beautiful good karma
The cutscene ended, and suddenly everyone had been transformed into their wedding finery. Even Akamaru had a little red bowtie. Around Sakura and Meister's pinkies, a long, sparkling poppy string was tied, binding them together. I guess this means this marriage is going to be luckier than my previous one. I hope that means the tournament is going to go well. Sakura smiled a bit in memory, thinking of the "good match" and deep merlot colour that she and Fries had received her first-time around. It hadn't given them a boost to the rate couple XP was earned, but at least it wasn't a deductor.
[Wedding Party] System: Congratulations! This match has been blessed to gain couple experience 1.25x faster than normal. Would you like to use a premium item to reroll, or continue with the mission? Type Y to reroll, N to continue with the wedding, S to stop the wedding
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: Man, again with the monetization
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: N
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: It's just a QOL upgrade, it's not that bad
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Y
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: ?!
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Hmm, that's not quite right. Let me try again.
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: you bought those!?
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: And the result is…
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: A heavenly match of good fortune
[Wedding Party] System: Congratulations! This match has been blessed to gain couple experience 1.5x faster than normal. Would you like to use a premium item to reroll, or continue with the mission? Type Y to reroll, N to continue with the wedding, S to stop the wedding
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: N
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Y
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: LOL
[Wedding Party] Best Man OldRamenMan: lolololol
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: wtf?
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Hmm, that's not quite right. Let me try again.
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: The chances of getting anything better are super low, you should've kept it
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: And the result is…
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: A match made in heaven, rare and difficult enough to encounter in a thousand years!
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: A truly auspicious match
[Wedding Party] System: Congratulations! This match has been blessed to gain couple experience 2.0x faster than normal. Would you like to use a premium item to reroll, or continue with the mission? Type Y to reroll, N to continue with the wedding, S to stop the wedding
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: N
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Don't you dare roll again
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: We g2g get married
In his own room, sitting at his big desk, Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. He wanted a lower or negative multiplier. Then they'd have to spend more time together to max out their couple boost. I should've just kept the first one.
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: N
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: The matchmaking is done, the ceremony may proceed.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Congratulations to you both, may you walk the way of the Ninja together until the end.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Excellent! Then as my last word of advice to the happy couple
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Let me tell you a story….
With the wave of the NPC's sleeves, Sakura found her avatar and the rest of their wedding party, including Akamaru, standing under the gateway of destiny, in front of the statues of the maiden with the long wrap and the youth with the calf reaching towards each other.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: These two statues are Orihime and Hikoboshi, the weaver and the cowherd of heaven
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Separated by the river of heaven, these two are only are able to meet once a year, when the magpies build a bridge to span the milky way
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Through their strong hearts, they must keep their love alive for the rest of the year.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: They choose, every day, to hold hands across time and space
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: The way of the ninja is not smooth or gentle, and by joining your hands together here, today, you make a commitment to support each other through it.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: For better or worst, through thick and thin
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Are you sure you want to make this commitment?
[Wedding Party] System: Choose Y to finish the wedding, Choose N to cancel the wedding.
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Y
Sakura, who'd been enjoying the sentimental lovers' story, stared at the screen when her bridegroom suddenly wandered off towards the Magpie bridge, that string tying them together stretched to the end of its range. Shannaro! What the hell is he doing?
[Wedding Party] Best Man OldRamenMan: Bro, your bride is over here
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: I'm telling ya, if you have any regrets…
[Whisper to Beowulf69] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Go die
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Forgot to set the banquets
[Wedding Party] Groomsman RollOutBoy: Very important, can't forget those
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: … you're doing this on purpose
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: … this is because I was late, isn't it?
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: … that's okay, we can still call this off ^_^
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Y
[Wedding Party] System: Congratulations to the Happy Couple! You are now officially married. You will now begin accumulating couple experience, and the Couple channel is now open for you to use.
[Wedding Party] Groom Sm1rkMeister: Too late :)
"...," Sakura stared at her screen with a disbelieving look on her face.
"...," Sasuke watched his screen with a tiny smirk on his face.
"...," Naruto, Kiba, and Chouji just stared at their screens before all three of them burst out laughing.
"That total asshole!" Kiba wheezed.
Chouji chortled, "I feel kind of bad for Sister-in-law."
"I hope she knows what she's getting herself into!" Naruto laughed.
They were laughing so hard, they missed the cutscene. The two statues of Orihime and Hikoboshi reaching for each other suddenly moved, leaning forward to finally grasp hands. A spark of light flared between them and they were once again teleported, this time in front of a statue of a beautiful and terrible goddess. The chapel around them was quiet, and the light danced through the stained glass windows in a hypnotic pattern.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: The goddess has blessed your union. Bow to her
[Wedding Party] System: Sm1rkMeister has bowed to the statue of the Mother Goddess
[Wedding Party] System: SakuraBlossom has bowed to the statue of the Mother Goddess
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Now bow to each other
[Self] System: Sm1rkMeister has offered you a bow to seal your marriage. Type Y to accept the emote
[Self] SakuraBlossom: Y
[Wedding Party] System: Two fates have been tied together by the red string of fate. Sm1rkMeister and SakuraBlossom have bowed to each other as husband and wife
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: In the eyes of the Mother Goddess, you are now two halves of one whole
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Join together in happiness and prosperity!
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: *cough* now, as newlyweds, you must be eager to get back to the bridal chambers.
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Don't let this old man get in the way. Off with you now!
[Wedding Party] Jiraiya, Old Man Under the Moon: Hehehe
[Wedding Party] System: [The Bridal Chamber Event] is now available
"Guys…," Chouji asked worriedly as he shoved a mouthful of chips into his mouth, "What the heck is the bridal chamber event? Isn't this game PG13?"
"They added it last year, while we were on hiatus," Naruto explained, "It's meant to give new couples a bit of a head start compared to older ones, by giving them a huge amount of couple experience if they stay in the bedchamber together within 2 hours of getting married, for half an hour of real-time."
"Yeah, but what do they do in the b-bedchamber?" Chouji asked.
"It's very risque," Naruto wiggled his eyebrows, "So risque, we're not allowed to watch. We just gotta escort them to that asshole's home instance."
"Wh-wh-wh-wha," Chouji stuttered, turning bright red.
Kiba couldn't hold back his laughter anymore, "Naruto's being a shit, Chouji. They can only do two things," He ticked them off on his fingers, "They can a) stand and talk, or b) sit and talk."
Chouji gaped at him, "That's it?" He threw a crumpled empty bag of chips at Naruto, who was laughing so hard he didn't dodge it.
[Wedding Party] Bride SakuraBlossom: Guys?
[Wedding Party] Groomsman RollOutBoy: *cough* sorry 3SIL
[Wedding Party] Groomsman RollOutBoy: Congratulations!
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: WHOOOHOOOO
[Wedding Party] Groomsman Beowulf69: Now let's go pop that ***hole's cherry
[Wedding Party] Best Man OldRamenMan: Ooooooooh
[Whisper] Sm1rkMeister: Like I said, bad influences.
Sakura blushed. Gutterbrains. Once they left the little chapel tucked in a corner of the spoke, she hurriedly got onto her mount, a traditional eight person sedan carried by little fox demons, and set her pathing to auto-follow Meister. On his own wedding steed, Meister started leading them forward, while the rest of the wedding party followed beside Sakura's sedan. As they wandered through the cherry blossom lanes of this slice of the city, out of the square towards Meister's home instance, she started reading the world chat as the congratulations poured in.
[World] DaemonL0ver: Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!
[World] PlasmarBoy: Whoohooooo! (^_^)
[World] Ratinger: Woahhh nice red packets! 88 silver
[World] Gamermama: Congratulations to the happy couple
[World] WeepingW1llow: Oh my lordy, is that Sm1rkMeister?
[World] ChattyCatty: No way, the Server Best that disappeared?
[World] JizzyLizzy: He's back!?
[World] MistSwordSuigetsu: Didn't SakuraBlossom just get divorced?
[World] MistSwordSuigetsu: What's the Server Best doing with sloppy seconds?
Sakura snorted at that particularly rude comment. Shannaro! No one accused Ami of getting MY sloppy seconds.
[World] ForeverA10ne: Who knows what top players are thinking?
[World] MistSwordSuigetsu: If it were me, I'd say the Server Best should get married to our server beauty
[World] MistSwordSuigetsu: At least we know UWUAmixx is actually a girl
[World] UWUFukixx: At least someone has some sense
[World] UWUKasumixx: Neh, Ami, if both Fries and Sm1rkMeister proposed to you, who would you choose?
[World] UWUAmixx: Of course I would choose FriesWithThat
[Whisper to UWUKasumi] UWUAmixx: He's rich and famous irl. Sm1rkMeister's probably some fatso nerd eating doritos
[World] OldRamenMan: Oi, oi, only our Third SIL can match with this ***hole
[World] Beowulf69: That's right, that's right. Anyone who disagrees should challenge 3SIL to a PVP Match
[World] ForeverA10ne: …
[World] RollOutBoy: she's Number 4 on the PVP rankings!
Sakura had kind of expected world chat to be a shitshow, but she was actually kind of touched by Old Ramen Man and Wulf standing up for her. She decided that she'd given other people's nonsense enough attention, and since they were auto-following anyways, she pulled out her homework again. As she worked though, one particular scrap of chat zipping by caught her eye.
[World] FerdytheMaid: I swear I've seen UWUAmixx doing a mission with Sm1rkMeister, right before he disappeared
[World] Mediumen: Hey, do you think she rejected him, and now he's hooked up with SakuraBlossom to form a spite couple?
[World] CarryawaySeed: Must be must be! LOL
That could get messy. As they arrived at the entrance to the home instance, the guys wished them well one last time before they left the wedding party, leaving only her and Meister in it. As they entered the instance, into the beautifully decorated house and the bright red bridal chamber, Sakura decided she might as well ask about it if there was even the smallest chance it was going to bother her. Better out than in.
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Hey, can I ask you something?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Sure
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Do you know UWUAmixx?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: No
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Are you sure?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Are you jealous?
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: No!
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: I just saw that someone saw you guys doing a mission together
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Does that count as knowing?
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: ….
[Whisper to OldRamenMan] Sm1rkMeister: did we ever play with UWUAmixx?
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Yes!
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Back when she was crowned hottest girl in that IRL Photo contest
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Kiba invited her
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: You kicked her out of the party because she was that bad.
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Apparently I kicked her out of the party because she sucked
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Oh
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Why?
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Is 3SIL jealous?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: I gotta go take a call, brb
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: OK! ^_^
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Oi. ***hole
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Hey
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Don't ignore me!
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: Sasuke!
( ´ ▽ ` ) (¬‿¬ )
When Sakura looked up from her History of Encryption homework, she realized two relatively important things - they'd gotten the achievement for the Bridal chamber event and the couple XP, and she hadn't turned off auto-following Meister.
Where the heck are we? Sakura squinted at her game screen. She didn't even know the game had flying mounts, never mind hot air balloons. They were standing together in one, so close they were clipping into each other. So pretty! She gasped, looking down at the shimmering cityscape below her. It was the night cycle now, so a canopy of stars spread over their heads, and a glowing moon hung low in the sky. If Sakura's avatar could reach forward, she thought she'd be able to trail her fingers in the streetlights below and hang the moon on her necklace.
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Where are we?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Sightseeing
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: ?
Sakura blinked. Why the heck were they sightseeing now? It can't be…
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Is it a couple mission?
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: To take a honeymoon or something?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: …
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: No
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: …Oh
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: So this is a honeymoon?
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: …
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Do you need to be somewhere else?
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: No ^_^
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: This is nice
She smiled. Given her limited dating experience, it was probably the sweetest thing any boyfriend-adjacent guy had ever done for her. Man, that's a low bar. Even so, she happily put her book on her laptop keyboard so she could watch the scenery with him and do her homework at the same time. After a period of silence, he whispered to her again.
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: SakuraBlossom
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Sakura
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: You didn't have to give me that potion
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: Do you not really use potions?
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: It's the only god-tier item I have...
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: No
[Couple] SakuraBlossom: I should probably give you back that equipment box...
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: I mean …
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: You don't need a dowry
[Couple] Sm1rkMeister: Just yourself is enough.
As Sakura put her cool hands on her warm cheeks, in the game, Meister's avatar did an unusual emote. He reached forward and poked her on the forehead.
AN: Ahahahaha Sasuke's black belly is showing! But yes, our beloved pair are finally married! Alright, pack up folks, the story's over, that's happily ever after right?
Yeah right. We got 101 more chapters to go, guys, and they're going to be good. And if YOU want an advance preview of the next couple of chapters, have a good grasp on English and characterization, and have some time to Beta 2k-5k words each week and a burning desire to figure out how exactly I'm writing out all of these love triangles, please contact me on Discord at LScore#8970. Please note that I have this fic meticulously planned out, so I am NOT changing this plot now. I just need some help with the polish and the characterization. Otherwise y'all might just need to suffer through some OOC moments and weird grammar for me to keep posting weekly. Thank you Reglee and Elleurs for reading and beta-ing this chapter. As always, extended ANs with world-building notes on Tumblr in my blog, also called LScore, and comments, reviews, kudos, favourites, bookmarks, subs, and gentle, appreciative orca lullabies always make my day. See you next time, guys!