[World] System: A world-wide challenge has been issued! Both participants are online!
[World] System: Sm1rkMeister has challenged FriesWithThat to duel
[World] System: FriesWithThat has not yet accepted the challenge!
[World] Sm1rkMeister: I can buy as many of these announcements as I want, Fries
[World] Sm1rkMeister: 2 fights, you only have to win one to settle this
[World] Sm1rkMeister: and I'll even take off two pieces of armour
[World] Sm1rkMeister: Are you a coward?
[World] Sm1rkMeister: Or will you take up the challenge like a true Ninja?
[World] OldRamenMan: C'mon, we all know he doesn't dare face this asshole
[World] Robertthehobert: Oof poor Fries
[World] Robertthehobert: What'd he do to piss off a Server Best?
[World] SerNorth: Have you not seen the video?
[World] SerNorth: Man's just standing up for his wife
[World] SerNorth: Respect, Sm1rkMeister
[World] Nuxalia: Fries is a Genjutsu main going up against THE Genjutsu main
[World] Nuxalia: I don't envy him
[World] CandyStr1per: feelsbadman
[World] RollOutBoy: He should've thought of that before he and his wife slandered our sister-in-law
[World] CandyStr1per: It could have been Ami's fault
[World] RollOutBoy: He's in the video, isn't he?
[Whisper] OldRamenMan: 3SIL hurry up and buy a ticket to the Arena!
[Party] System: OldRamenMan has invited you to join his party. Type Y to accept or N to refuse
[Party] SakuraBlossom: Y
[Party] System: SakuraBlossom has joined the party!
As Sakura made her way towards the Arena in-game, she looked up when Hinata sat down across from her with her laptop. "Hina-chan, are you logging on too?"
"Y-Yes?" Hinata looked up surprised at her.
"I'm going to send you something - go to the Arena in the middle of the central city and click on the Lobby function," Sakura said hurriedly as she snagged two arena tickets at the most expensive price. There's no way Hinata will have the gold to buy a ticket at the first tier, and they'll be sold out before the price reaches a tier she can afford.
"Wh-Why?" Hinata asked as she obeyed. She loaded into what looked like a coliseum, with a single, broken pillar standing in the middle. A black-haired, bare-chested male avatar was meditating against it. Is that Sakura-chan's hubby?
"You see that world-wide challenge issued on world chat? This means it's going to be a public duel in the Arena, with a forfeit on the line. Usually, the forfeit is someone loses a couple of levels," Sakura explained as she loaded into the waiting area.
"That doesn't seem like a big deal," Tenten called from the bed where Sakura had left her. Her voice was muffled by Sakura's pillow, "We went up like ten levels today."
"Higher levels require exponentially more experience points. For someone like Meister or Fries, two levels could be a few months of work," Sakura explained absently, then nearly did a spit-take, "Shannaro! What the hell is up with this win condition?"
"S-SmirkMeister must win both fights while missing two pieces of equipment, or he forfeits two levels. He must not use any recovery potions either. Th-The opponent is free to do whatever he wants," Hinata murmured, reading the flavour text as her avatar navigated the arena, her eyebrows rising as well, "O-Oh my."
"Even if he just leaves off a couple of accessories, that can make a big difference in stats," Sakura muttered, getting even more worried. When she finally saw Meister's avatar though, her jaw dropped, "Holy shit. He's not wearing his chest armour or forehead protector."
"Wh-What does that mean, Sakura-chan?" Hinata asked.
"Essentially, that he has no defensive stat boost. Chest armour provides a lot of physical defence, while forehead protectors boost ninjutsu defence," Sakura responded, "He's basically saying that he doesn't think Fries will hit him at all."
"Is your hubby trying to show how big his balls are?" Tenten asked, trying to maneuver herself so she could see one of their two screens from the bed. However, since she was lying on Sakura's bottom bunk in the back right corner of the room, even if Tenten had managed to turn herself around so she was facing the central table, she was too low to comfortably watch Hinata's screen.
Sakura threw an exasperated look over at her roommate sprawled out on her bed. When did Tenten start calling Meister my hubby? God that sounds so cheesy. "He's basically trying to issue a challenge Fries can't refuse. Fries isn't that good a PVPer - he mostly plays group PVP support or PVE content-"
"PVP? PVE? In words we can understand, Sakura," Tenten interrupted her.
"Fries doesn't fight against people on his own that well - he's used to supporting a group of players who cover him and fighting with people against AI," Sakura reworded her thoughts, "And Meister's a server best player, a former champion in the player versus player tournaments. So even though they're at the same level, no one would think badly of Fries for turning down a normal best two out of three challenge. But if he turns down this challenge, where he only has to win one fight and Meister's not wearing much defensive gear, the server will mock him for months about it. He has to accept."
"A-and he's doing this all because Fries and Ami made fun of you in a video?" Hinata smiled, "S-Sakura-chan, I think your husband really likes you."
Sakura blushed, "Oh shut up. C'mon, the show's starting. Party members have front row seats."
"Dammit, this just had to happen while I can't sit up!" Tenten complained, "you guys had better record it!"
[Party] Beowulf69: About time, 3SIL!
[Party] RollOutBoy: We were worried you weren't going to get a ticket
[Party] SakuraBlossom: Sorry about that!
[Party] OldRamenMan: Hey, you brought Sola!
[Party] Tournesola: Hello everyone, it's nice to see you again
[Party] OldRamenMan: Sola, this is our Big Bro
[Party] Beowulf69: … oi
[Party] SakuraBlossom: ?
[Party] Beowulf69: IRL PVP again
"Sakura-chan, what does that mean?" Hinata remembered seeing that phrase before.
"In real life player versus player fight," Sakura explained, already used to these antics.
"S-So they all know each other in real life?" Hinata asked, "And your h-husband does too?"
"I think so," Sakura mused, "Although I'm not quite sure - sometimes it seems like he's not playing in the same place as them."
As they waited for RollOutBoy and Ramen Man to get back on their game, Sakura took a minute to center her game camera on Meister, getting a good look at his bare-chested avatar meditating against the central column. I know it's just a game avatar, but whew! I wonder if his real-life self has as nice of a chest. I kind of want to…
"S-Sakura-chan? Is something wrong? Your face is a bit pink."
"N-No! I'm not thinking about anything!" Sakura quickly disclaimed, "What's up?"
"I-I think the opponent has arrived," Hinata informed her.
Her face still slightly red, Sakura panned her camera to get a good look. Fries and Ami stood at the edge of the Arena, their avatars facing each other while they probably exchanged some words in private. Chat went wild.
[Arena] ForeverA1one: Finally!
[Arena] ForeverA1one: I thought the coward wouldn't show up
[Arena] YugePen1s: Fight fight fight fight
[Arena] Nuxalia: This is going to be fun
[Arena] RondandRound: Gogogogo
[Arena] TheMightyEbisu: You can do this, Fries!
That last name in chat made Sakura scowl. Ebisu, what the hell are you doing here publicly supporting Fries? Am I your War Leader or not? Dumbass'll probably claim not to know what this is about.
The shit-stirring from Ramen Man and Wulf that came after, though, made her grin.
[Arena] Beowulf69: Oi, Ramen, you wanna make a bet?
[Arena] OldRamenMan: No, we both know Sm1rk's going to win this
[Arena] Beowulf69: Not on the outcome
[Arena] Beowulf69: On how long the first round's going to take
[Arena] Beowulf69: I think he'll last three minutes
[Arena] RollOutBoy: I give him two
[Arena] UWUKasumixx: You guys are such ***holes
[Arena] UWUAmixx: Let's just make this a fair fight
[Arena] System: Both participants have entered the Arena! Combatants, you have 30 seconds to prepare before the first round fight starts.
"W-why isn't your husband moving?" Hinata asked, puzzled. When Fries entered the arena, Meister didn't even get up from his meditating stance, "I-Isn't that going to put him at a disadvantage later when Fries-san attacks?"
"Not necessarily," Sakura mumbled as she watched Fries pull out a paintbrush and make a bunch of hand-seals, "Is he an idiot? Does he not know how the Sharingan works?"
"H-Huh?"
"Hina-chan, how's your byakugan? Can you turn it on and let me know what you see?"
"S-Sure, but-" Hinata blinked when she saw what her bloodline limit revealed, "Th-There are two Meisters."
"Where's the other one?"
"O-On top of the column in the middle?"
Sakura grinned, "I knew it. Thanks, Hina-chan. You better turn it off before you get motion-sickness, though."
Huh? Just as Hinata turned off her bloodline limit, and her screen returned to normal, the beep for the start of the duel sounded. Her camera control was taken over, and the view focused on the inside of the arena. The sidebars and mini-maps and skill bars and chat boxes melted away, the audience faded, and all she could do was watch.
When the start of the round sounded, Meister still hadn't gotten up from meditating. Fries, on the other hand, was already on the move. He twirled his paintbrush, and giant ukiyo-e snakes erupted from his back, growing bigger and stronger as the ink spread over his skin. With the snakes as his vanguard, Fries launched himself forwards.
Why is Meister still meditating? Hinata wondered, more than a little worried. The camera followed Fries's perspective and rapidly closed the distance between the two combatants. Meister still didn't move. Come on!
Bam! A huge explosion blew up in the middle of the arena, right where Meister had been sitting this whole time. Inky snakes erupted from the epicentre, wrapped all around the central column in a wriggling mess, and trapped its target in Fries's deadly embrace.
"I-Is Meister dead?" Hinata asked, "H-How is he going to escape from that?"
"He already has," Sakura replied with a small smirk, "Just watch, Hinata-chan."
In the arena, as the smoke from the explosion cleared, Hinata could barely make out a figure from between the coils of the snake-
Wait a minute. One figure? Before she could fully process the thought, a dark streak with an electric-blue tail fell like a comet from the top of the column. Unfortunately for him, Fries did not look up.
Wham! Meister landed squarely on Fries's back, plunging that blue ball of lightning into his spine, right through his stomach. The flash of light made Hinata jump in her chair.
On the other hand, Sakura burst out laughing.
[Arena] System: Sm1rkMeister has won against FriesWithThat in the first round of the Duel! When both participants are ready, the next round will begin.
[Arena] Robertthehobert: What just happened…?
[Arena] OldRamenMan: Wulf you owe me money
[Arena] OldRamenMan: It was barely a minute
[Arena] Beowulf69: Urgh, not worth the entry price
[Arena] YugePen1s: PFT
[Arena] YugePen1s: [Rolling Jade Seas Clan]'s Vice leader just got columnstomped
[Arena] YugePen1s: N00BS
[Arena] YugePen1s: lololololololol
"Wh-what was that!?" Hinata asked, bewildered
"A column-stomp. I still can't believe he pulled that off," Sakura managed to get out between her uncontrollable giggles. Tenten and Hinata both looked over at her, confused.
"Wh-what's a column stomp? H-How did he get up there?" Hinata asked, "Sakura-chan! W-What's so funny?"
"Sorry, sorry, Hina-chan!" Sakura wiped her tears of laughter and got herself under control, "It's a common move used to troll total n00bs in the arena. The attacker leaves a shadow clone in the middle of the arena, lures the opponent to attack at close range, and then falls down from the column and kills the opponent basically just by falling on him. He's just toying with Fries. I can't believe he fell for that though."
"I-I thought Fries was a good player?"
"Me too. Mostly it doesn't work on more experienced players because the first thing you do in this arena is use a ranged attack to check if you're fighting a clone, especially if your opponent is standing next to the column." Sakura shook her head, thinking of her own clan's reputation. "This is just embarrassing."
[Arena] UWUAmixx: Fries! Hang on I'm coming for you!
[Arena] UWUKasumixx: WOW CHEAP TRICKS MUCH
[Arena] UWUKasumixx: Hmph, so much for server best
[Arena] UWUFukixx: Yeah, that was so not a fair fight!
Sakura snorted as she watched the Arena chat scroll by. Just go up and heal him, you don't need to announce it to everyone. Fuki's last comment made her grit her teeth in annoyance though. Just before she was about to enter the fray, the guys were already on it.
[Arena] Beowulf69: You're right, Fries has to win both fights with two missing pieces of armour and no potions in between, it's definitely not a fair fight.
[Arena] Beowulf69: Oh wait.
[Arena] Beowulf69: Her boyfriend's a n00b, get over it
[Arena] Beowulf69: Ami should date a real man ;)
"W-Wulf-san is really…," Hinata was at a loss for words.
"Yep…," Sakura shook her head.
[Arena] UWUAmixx: Fries, no matter what unfair odds or cheap tricks you might be up against, you will always be the hero of my heart
[Arena] ForeverA1one: Yeah, how dare you!
[Arena] TeaSpiller: totally lame
[Arena] Nuxalia: Y'know, I don't know about you guys
[Arena] Nuxalia: but if you can create a solid shadow clone, stealth, climb up that column, cast a body fortification jutsu AND the chidori within about 35 seconds,
[Arena] Nuxalia: I would call you server best too
[Arena] Nuxalia: Like holy **** I'd like to see any of you charge and cast the chidori under 35 seconds
[Arena] Nuxalia: That Sharingan casting speed is insane
[Arena] UWUAmixx: Yeah, well, he's using the insane bloodline limit to play cheap tricks!
[Arena] UWUAmixx: Fries, we expected better of you as the server-best!
[Party] FriesWithThat: Ami, stop
[Party] FriesWithThat: You're embarrassing me
[Party] UWUAmixx: Fries!
[Party] UWUAmixx: I'm just trying to stand up for you!
[Party] FriesWithThat: That's enough
[Arena] Sm1rkMeister: Fine
[Arena] Sm1rkMeister: If that's how you feel
[Arena] System: Sm1rkMeister has added an additional condition to the fight!
[Arena] System: In the second fight, Sm1rkMeister will not be able to use the bloodline limit known as the [Sharingan]
[Arena] System: Sm1rkMeister has added an additional condition to the fight!
[Arena] System: In the second fight, Sm1rkMeister will not use any armour
[Arena] Nuxalia: Holy ****
[Arena] Robertthehobert: What the ****?
[Arena] RondandRound: Dude's a maniac
[Arena] FriesWithThat: That's not necessary
[Arena] Sm1rkMeister: I think it is
"SHANNARO!" Sakura exclaimed, reading the last announcement, "No way! There is no way! I can't believe he's going to fight without his armour!" Her eyes were glued to the screen as the pieces of armour vanished from Meister's avatar.
"Your husband is going to fight in his tighty whiteys?" Tenten struggled to get up and watch again, "Dammit, why'd this have to happen when I can't watch!?"
"I think he prefers boxers," Hinata giggled.
"That's just the base model," Sakura muttered, her eyes glued to the muscular, nearly naked male avatar on her screen. He does look very attractive… I still think they covered up the best part though… No! Down, girl! Focus.
[Arena] System: Both participants are ready to fight! Combatants, you have 30 seconds to prepare before the first round fight starts.
Sakura, still doing her best not to be distracted by her almost naked husband in the arena, was startled by the beep for the start of the second round. Fries had obviously made good use of his prep time - as soon as the bell started, five large painted crows burst from his scroll, diving straight towards Meister like arrows of death.
"I guess Fries is just going for a one-hit knockout. At least he remembered to use a ranged attack this time," Sakura murmured as she adjusted her camera to see what Meister's response would be. Heck, she wanted to see what he'd spend the past 30 seconds on.
She found out a second later when Meister punched the ground and ducked under the painted carrion. An explosion shook her camera, and the ground underneath the two combatants spiderwebbed with thin cracks. Sakura squinted at her screen. That's what he spent the past 30 seconds on? That's kind of lame.
Still, the move helped him dodge the flying birds' wickedly sharp claws swooping down upon him. From down below, he grabbed one unfortunate bird by the legs and slammed it into the other four like an inky battering ram, then used the forward momentum to charge right towards Fries.
"Taijutsu? I-isn't that a bad idea? H-He's wearing no armour, so i-if Fries hits him at all...," Hinata asked as she watched them brawl.
"Not necessarily," Sakura replied Fist to block, palm to hand, kick to shin, she could tell Meister was just toying with his opponent when he slowly started speeding things up and Fries started missing some of his blocks. "Fries is a genjutsu main, so he invested most of his stats in hand speed and chakra control, which is good for genjutsus, but means he's most vulnerable to being interrupted by fast moves like taijutsu."
"I-Isn't Meister a genjutsu main too?"
"People only think Meister's a Genjutsu main because of the Sharingan, but he's actually an all-rounder, which means he's invested points into all his stats. It's been a while since he's played in the PVP tournaments, though. Fries must have forgotten that, because he doesn't have the physical strength, stamina or the micro control to beat Meister in a drag-down fight like this. See, that last haymaker Fries threw. It's sloppy, and it's too big."
When Meister dodged that huge windup punch, Fries lost his balance, falling forward. Taking the opening, Meister slammed his fist up in an uppercut, only to find that he'd hit a log that Fries had substituted in. Fries appeared about 10 feet away, safe and sound, but Meister darted forward and closed the gap again.
"H-He's really fast," Hinata observed, her eyes glued to the action. Fries barely had the chance to cast anything, throwing a couple of snakes that Meister sliced through with a katana that appeared in his hands. With another slash, Meister brought the butt of the katana sparking with blue energy down on his head, only to bash a log in half.
Another substitution jutsu. Sakura frowned. They didn't work on him when we fought - I hope he's okay without the Sharingan…
Her worry was unnecessary, though. This time, Meister must have had his weapons skill bar open because he instantly fired off two flaming windmill shuriken as Fries reappeared. Taken off guard, Fries threw himself backwards in a backflip to avoid the two projectile missiles, trying to get further away from his opponent…
Unfortunately, he miscalculated his hand placement on the uneven terrain that Meister had cracked before. He stumbled and landed awkwardly.
He would've needed just a second to get back on his feet and relaunch his attack, but that moment was a second too long. Meister had already closed the gap between them and launched Fries into the air with a straight leg scissor kick.
Ouch. As Fries' limp body fell back towards the earth, Meister took the fully-charged katana and leapt up to meet him. With his upwards momentum and Fries' downwards momentum, the katana drove through Fries' spine as smooth as butter. For a coup de grace, the blue sparks on Meister's blade erupted, electrocuting his opponent in a blinding light.
[Arena] System: Sm1rkMeister has won against FriesWithThat in the second round of the Duel! Well fought, both participants.
[Arena] System: Sm1rkMeister has fulfilled the win conditions of the fight. As a penalty, FriesWithThat will lose 2 levels.
[Arena] ForeverA1one: well ****
[Arena] Watthewatthewat: Holy ****
[Arena] Gamermama: I thought he was supposed to be a genjutsu main?!
[Arena] CanonFodder69: What the **** is he on?
[Arena] TeaSpiller: That was insane
[Arena] Nuxalia: Can someone share the recording afterwards? I didn't manage to get one!
[Arena] SerNorth: I'll send it to you
[Arena] YugePen1s: Me too!
[Arena] SerNorth: Not you
[Arena] YugePen1s: What the ****?
[Arena] Sm1rkMeister: There's one more condition you need to fulfill, Fries.
[Arena] FriesWithThat: Fine
[Arena] FriesWithThat: Take my lost levels as my sincere apologies
[Arena] FriesWithThat: Ami and I will reshoot the last bit of our video
[Arena] FriesWithThat: Do you want a public apology on the forums, too?
[Arena] Sm1rkMeister: Sakura?
[Arena] SakuraBlossom: Take down the video and that's enough
[Arena] FriesWithThat: Good
[Arena] System: FriesWithThat's Party has left the Arena! With that, the fight is over and all players in the Arena will be returned to the lobby
"W-Wow!" Hinata breathed out and sat back in her seat, "Th-that was very cool."
"Urghhh you guys have better recorded it for me!" Tenten complained from the bed.
Sakura and Hinata looked at each other blankly. Shannaro! We both forgot! "Someone will post it online later - I'll link you when we do."
"Oh come on, Saku-chan!" Tenten complained, chucking a pillow at her head
Sakura tried to dodge but the pillow hit her squarely in the face. "I'm sorry, okay!" Sakura laughed. She grabbed the pillow again and was about to throw it back at Tenten when Hinata burst out laughing. Sakura and Tenten looked at her, bewildered.
"I-I think you should look at party chat, Sakura-chan," Hinata said through her laughs.
[Party] RollOutBoy: Hey Sm1rk, did you mean it?
[Party] RollOutBoy: What were you going to do if you lost?
[Party] Beowulf69: Pffft Our ***hole wasn't going to lose against that kind of guy
[Party] RollOutBoy: No but like he could've had an unstable connection or something
[Party] RollOutBoy: Were you really going to let it go if you lost?
[Party] Sm1rkMeister: Absolutely
[Party] RollOutBoy: What the ****?
[Party] Sm1rkMeister: I only said I'd let the matter go
[Party] Sm1rkMeister: I never said anything about MDW
[Party] RollOutBoy: MDW?
[Party] Beowulf69: What's that?
[Party] Tournesola: Sakura-chan?
[Party] RollOutBoy: Wait a minute…
[Party] Sm1rkMeister: Who else would be my dear wife?
Sakura turned bright red."SHANNARO!"
AN: Sakura, don't fight it! Even your roommates know it. I love it when Sasuke is ridiculous with a straight face hehehe...
You know, for a fluffy shipper modern AU fic, there are way more action scenes than I was ready to write, and I have unmercifully bitched about every single one to the r/fanfiction discord. Action scenes are not my forte, unless they are horizontal, on a bed, and consensual (usually pretty Vanilla). Thanks to writing buddies for their patience, and thank you Reglee for cleaning it up and doing your regular awesome Beta thing. As always, comments, reviews, kudos, favourites, bookmarks, and handwritten labels on Ben and Jerry's Icecream all make my day. Thank you for reading! Stay safe, stay healthy, and see you soon!