A/N: Well, well, well. Guess who's back to break more hearts! I just can't help myself from bringing my wonderful readers (a.k.a. you) all the feels. All of them. There's some nice stuff in this chapter in so many ways. I had this chapter ready way sooner than I anticipated (but don't get used to it, my muse is not reliable). It's only been a few days, but I hope you're all doing well. Thanks for your support and motivation, you are all amazing.

Enjoy!

Am I just a ghost in my own machine?

In a sandbox in the entropy?

Some reality got ahold of me

And I don't think I'll escape

Am I too attached to a memory?

Stuck in my head for eternity

Am I in a dream or the in between?

-Waking Up, Starset

"How are you feeling, Draco?" Hermione asked as the two ate breakfast in the library.

"More normal than I've ever felt, even though things aren't exactly normal. I've been thinking a lot about how I was raised, and I know that isn't an excuse, but I don't think I ever understood how wrong my actions were until I was marked as a Death Eater. I didn't have much of a choice to be anything else, and once I was one, I was stuck. If I had done anything to defy him, even before he marked me, I think he would've hurt my mother. I was always afraid of that, but I'm glad I don't have to worry about it anymore. And I'm grateful to you for helping me. For giving me a chance to change," he said, alternating between bites of food, sips of orange juice, and speaking.

"What is your biggest regret from the war?" Hermione asked after taking a few notes.

"I wish I had the courage to stand up to it when it began," he answered, looking down in shame, "Can I ask what yours was?"

Hermione paused, unsure of what to say. She regretted a lot of what happened and a lot of things that she had done. Her part in the war was more central than Draco's. Even if she was on the winning side, they used questionable methods to achieve victory. She had used questionable methods.

"I wish I had put it all together sooner, maybe fewer people would've died. On both sides," she admitted quietly, "You know what you did was really brave, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"When the snatchers brought us in, you lied. You knew who we were. If you hadn't he would've been summoned immediately, we would've never escaped and Bellatrix never would've had the opportunity to give me information, even though she had to hurt me to do that. And at the battle, you stopped fighting against us, even though it meant you would lose either way. That's incredibly brave, Draco," she explained, absently rubbing her arm.

"But if I had-"

Hermione cut him off sharply, "You can't change what happened, Draco, and it isn't all your fault. The war would've happened whether any of us were there or not. Don't waste your time wishing you could change things, I only asked because I have to, but it's a stupid question. We can't change what we've done, but we can learn from it. That's the point of this."

He sighed, unable to admit aloud that she was right, even though he knew she was. She almost always was. Still, most of the time he couldn't help but think about what happened, and how things might be different if he had done things differently.

"I think that's enough for now," she said after his prolonged silence, "We should leave soon."

"I'll wait for you in the foyer," Draco said, taking her empty plate and cup from the table.

"Thank you. I'll be down soon," she said, brushing past him and taking the stairs two at a time.

Her gait slowed as she passed Bellatrix's door, still drawn to it for some inexplicable reason. She shook her head, hoping the motion would shake off the feeling she had. She didn't entirely understand it, but she wanted to go in again. She thought she had said everything there was to say, but she still felt the urge to just talk to someone, even if they couldn't hear her. Or maybe because they couldn't. Hermione struggled with herself as she changed into work clothes, grabbing her wand from the nightstand and hurrying down the stairs, trying not to glance at Bellatrix's door as she passed. She was unsuccessful, and the strong urge to blow off work for the day overtook her for a moment before she realized and quickly admonished herself for thinking such a thing.

Draco stood by the floo, his hands behind his back but his posture relaxed. He turned to the doorway as Hermione entered the room, offering a small smile and gesturing for her to go first. Hermione always went through the floo first, and she never seemed to doubt that Draco would be right behind her, even the first time they had gone to the Ministry. There wasn't anyone to force him, and it would be relatively easy for him to do whatever he wanted, but he respected Hermione too much. She never made him feel bad about what he had done, in fact, she usually made him feel better, and she always saw the good in him, even when he struggled to see it himself.

Hermione emerged through the floo, followed immediately by Draco, and quickly set off to her office. She felt like she wasn't on time, and she was running a little later than normal, but she had stayed well past her usual time the day before, so it was slightly excusable. Draco still had a hard time keeping up with her (surprisingly) fast pace, even with his long legs. When the elevator stopped at Hermione's department, they almost missed it, as Hermione never knew when it would be her stop and she was unable to tear her thoughts from Bellatrix's door, or rather, the fact that she had entered last night instead of standing outside for hours and then thinking better of it. It was only at a nudge from Draco that she realized and was able to propel herself the rest of the way to her office, taking great satisfaction that most of her department had already arrived and were hard at work.

Ginny was waiting for her as soon as she entered her office, a fairly common occurrence. She gestured to Draco to sit in one of the chairs in the room- she didn't care which- and turned her attention to her second-in-command.

"I went ahead and confirmed the training field reservation for the special training this afternoon, and I went ahead and took care of the Head Auror for you. The Department of Mysteries sent a response to your memo; I put it in the top left drawer before I left yesterday. You also got an owl from someone, and I put that letter in the bottom right drawer after I made sure it wasn't anything sinister. I sent an agent to guard Cormac so Luna could get some rest before training, and I sent a message to St. Mungo's, they'll be sending five healers over around lunch. I've already chosen which agents to take with me," Ginny said, shifting from Hermione's desk to the chair across from Hermione while the young witch threw her jacket over the back of her chair and got settled.

"Honestly, I don't even know what the department needs me for," Hermione joked, "Thank you, Ginny. I really appreciate your help."

"You can pay me in juicy details about what happened," Ginny said, her grin taking up almost the entire lower part of her face.

Hermione opened the top center drawer of her desk, pulling out a small vial while she extracted the memory from her head, tapping her wand against the glass a few times to get every bit of it before handing it to Ginny. "Go crazy."

"Thanks, boss," Ginny said with a wink, moving to Hermione's Pensieve and immersing herself in the memory.

Hermione decided to start the morning with her report, wanting to get it out of the way while it was still relatively fresh. Normally, she wouldn't have gone home until it was finished, but the last few times she had done that, Ginny had gotten mad at her for being such a workaholic. She made a record of everything she had cast, from the moment her feet were in the Warden's office to the moment Cormac was transferred to Luna and Neville for transport to the holding cells. She then began to detail every moment of the mission, including her briefing with Kingsley and assembling her squad. Since Ginny was in the room, she had asked her a few questions while she was reviewing the memory, just to be sure she had recorded everything correctly. It took the better part of the morning, and before she knew it, Ginny was leaving to prepare for Azkaban. Draco had stayed in his chosen chair in the corner of the room, out of the way and immersed in a book on Magical Creatures Luna had loaned him a few days ago. He hadn't gotten a chance to read it before now, but he was thoroughly enjoying it.

A rap on Hermione's door drew both their attention, the brunette voicing her approval for the unknown person to enter. She was a little distracted while the door opened, but she spared a glance at whoever had knocked and beckoned them to sit before finishing her task. When she focused her attention on Hawkins, he held out a folder with a vial bound to it.

"Would you mind looking through and making sure I did it correctly?" he asked, fighting the desire to shake his leg up and down. He was a full-fledged agent now, there was no room for nerves.

"Of course," she answered, taking it with a smile.

Draco turned his attention back to his book, aware that he was not to be privy to the information. Much of Hermione's work was sensitive and it was only when The Daily Prophet reported on things that he was able to ask. He understood the need for secrecy and was content to turn his attention away, even if he was physically present. Hermione flipped through Hawkins's report, making notes where he needed to correct things with a little explanation next to it before handing it back.

"I've made a note of everything that needs to be fixed, but it was very good for the first time. I had to redo my first one so many times because I kept putting in unimportant information. When you finish it, bring it back and I'll look over it again before I send it up to Kingsley."

Hawkins nodded, heading back to his desk. Hermione returned her attention to her own report, attaching the memory vial to it before sealing it and placing it in the top right drawer of her desk. She glanced over at Draco, nearly halfway through his book now, and pulled the memo from the Department of Mysteries out of the drawer Ginny put it in. She crumpled it into a ball when she finished reading it, an annoyed expression on her face as she spelled it into ashes over the bin.

"Bullshit they can't experiment on the effects of prolonged proximity to dementors," she thought angrily.

Draco peered over the pages of his book at Hermione, unconsciously scooting further from her when he noticed the expression on her face. Hermione chose that moment to take a break for lunch, not wanting to risk ruining her mood further with the other letter. She could only think of a few people who would owl her, but she had no idea why they would send it to the Ministry. Still, she didn't want to deal with it at the moment, so she decided to save it for later.

Narcissa had taken to sending both Hermione and Draco with lunch every day, remembering the food quality from Lucius's days at the Ministry. Hermione had almost grown used to it, but it was still strange when Hermione thought about how motherly the blonde witch was. She was comparable to Molly, something that had shocked Hermione the first few days at the Manor. She was glad that Narcissa wasn't as cold and unfeeling as she had unjustly thought her to be because it would have made for an awkward and uncomfortable year. As it was, Narcissa was actually very warm and caring, she just tempered her emotions more than Molly, which greatly relieved Hermione. She loved Molly and all the Weasleys, but most of them possessed the inability to remain calm when they were experiencing strong emotions and it was difficult for Hermione to handle in extended doses. There had been many times that she had snuck out to her parent's empty house just to have a break from it all. Sometimes she took Ginny with her, sometimes she went alone, but she never stayed gone long enough to draw attention to herself.

"Boss, I'm back. Everyone is all cleared and Neville asked me to bring this to you when I saw him in the elevator. Luna was coming in right when I was getting back, headed straight for the training field. They both looked pretty tired. Luna more than Neville, but still," Ginny said as she entered Hermione's office without knocking, dropping the file Neville gave her on Hermione's desk.

"I'll tell their departments I'm giving them time off until Wednesday to rest. Remind me first thing Monday to start putting together a team to investigate the Auror department. I don't want another incident." Hermione mumbled distractedly, not quite finished with her thoughts. She placed the file in the top right drawer with the other one.

"Who should I send to guard Cormac during training?" Ginny asked, making a mental note to remind Hermione.

"I'll take care of it, go ahead to the training field," Hermione said, her attention fully on work.

"Draco, you wanna come with me?" Ginny asked, waiting at the threshold for a response.

He glanced at Hermione, deciding it would be more fun to go with Ginny. "I'll join you."

Once again, Hermione found herself standing at Bellatrix's door. Her eyes had long since memorized the patterns in the wood, and as she hesitated with her hand on the knob, her eyes traced them. She had a hard time resisting the urge to enter, and she wasn't entirely sure why she was trying, except that she still felt like it was invasive. Even with Narcissa's permission, it felt like a violation of Bellatrix's privacy. She hadn't felt like an intruder last night though, and with that in mind, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. Light spelled itself into existence as soon as she entered and Hermione surmised Narcissa must have had it enchanted to do so. Hermione closed the door behind her, standing awkwardly in the middle of the available space, looking around the room. She felt more comfortable in this room than she was sure she was supposed to, and that made her uncomfortable.

Bellatrix's awareness prickled as she sensed a presence- Hermione's, she reminded herself- enter the room. Within the depths of her mind, she silently celebrated. It was easier to drag herself into awareness than it had been last time. She had wondered if Hermione would come back again. She had hoped she would. She wished she could reach out to the witch, to give her a sign that she was still here, that she was listening, that she wanted to. Her body refused to respond to her in any way, no matter how hard she strained to make herself move.

"I'm not sure what I'm doing here," Hermione admitted to the room. Well, not exactly. She was also admitting it to Bellatrix, even though logic told her it was silly.

"That's okay!" Bellatrix thought, "Please just don't stop talking!"

"Do you ever feel like things got messed up somewhere and the way things turned out is different from how they were supposed to be?" Hermione decided she might stay for a while, so she moved to the seat near the bed, sitting down.

"I know it happens," she thought in response, a jolt moving through her awareness when Hermione sat down, "I don't know why it does."

"I think I feel like that right now," Hermione said, unsure of why she paused between thoughts since there was no one to respond, "I think I feel like things were supposed to be different than they are. Maybe it comes from disappointment. I thought when we won, the world would be so much better, but it isn't. But I don't think that's it. I'm not sure why I feel that way, but I know in my gut that it's true."

"Always listen to your gut, Hermione. It'll serve you better than anything else." Bellatrix wished she could comfort Hermione. She knew what that feeling was like, she had felt it since she had first been marked, but by then it was already too late. All she could do was give Hermione clues, and she hadn't been able to do that without hurting her.

Hermione shifted in her chair, eliciting a slight creak. "I guess that means free will exists. Or that fate is a lousy planner. How much of what we do is supposed to happen and to what extent are our choices really our own? There are so many factors to consider. Other people affect the weights of choices we make, so how much does that contribute to our choices?"

"You seem lost," Bellatrix observed, curiosity sending another jolt through her awareness.

"I think I'm just confused," she mumbled with a yawn, "I think I think too much."

"It's the price you pay for being so smart. Don't give up," she silently encouraged.

"You probably thought too much, too. From what I've heard from people you were too smart for your own good. Everyone told me that I was, too." Hermione leaned her head against the bedpost, speaking with her eyes closed.

"That's not a bad thing." Bellatrix's awareness felt another jolt as a small depression shifted her slightly on the bed. "Please don't stop talking yet."

"Andromeda owled me," Hermione said suddenly, startling herself awake, "She wants me to have tea with her."

"I miss Andy. I wish I could've saved her daughter," Bellatrix thought sadly, feeling her awareness began to slip away, "Not yet, please, not yet."

"It's probably about Draco," Hermione murmured absently, her head on the edge of Bellatrix's mattress.

"Draco..." Bellatrix's awareness faded, the small part of her that was still there unable to hold on any longer.

Hermione drifted off to sleep without meaning to. When she entered, she had every intention of returning to her room before too long. Something about the atmosphere in Bellatrix's room was relaxing, wrapping around her like a warm blanket on a chilly night. The light in the room faded as both women slipped into unconsciousness until it was gone completely, leaving them immersed in darkness.

Narcissa eased the door open slowly, the flickering light of the candle in her grasp faintly illuminating Bellatrix's room. She startled when her eyes fell on the figure at the end of her sister's bed, trying to calm her racing heart when she realized it was Hermione. She closed the door softly, trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking her. As she lined up potions on the nightstand, she winced as two bottles clinked against each other, stilling and looking at Hermione. The young woman didn't move, and Narcissa resumed her task. With a bottle in her hand, she contemplated waking Hermione and sending her to bed, knowing the position couldn't possibly be comfortable. She resolved to take care of her sister first, especially since she had been late last night to give Hermione some time.

Administering potions to Bellatrix was not a new experience for Narcissa, even before she had received the kiss. There had been many times she had to force potions down her sister's throat, sometimes while she was conscious, other times while she wasn't. It was always easier to do it while she was unconscious. A conscious Bellatrix was a stubborn one, and while Narcissa could manage it, she preferred when her sister didn't fight back. Since she had been kissed, Narcissa found herself wishing that Bellatrix would fight back. In between potions, Narcissa dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve, wiping them away before they had a chance to fall. There were so many things she wished she could change, but out of all those things, she wished for her sister back. When she had given Bellatrix her last potion, she sank slowly to the floor, her back against the nightstand and her face buried in her knees. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs for a few moments before she sniffled quietly, composing herself once more even though all she wanted was to curl up next to Bellatrix and mourn. That wouldn't solve anything, though.

Wiping her eyes one more time, she gently shook Hermione's shoulder, whispering, "Hermione. Wake up."

Bellatrix felt herself being tugged into awareness, the sudden electricity coursing through her startling her.

Hermione opened her eyes slowly, an apology on her lips as soon as her eyes focused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I wasn't trying to intrude-"

"It's okay," Narcissa assured her softly.

Bellatrix struggled to comprehend the second voice in the room. She knew it was her sister, but the words weren't very clear. Whereas Hermione's voice cut straight to her awareness, Narcissa's floated to her, resting softly over her without really penetrating.

"I fell asleep," Hermione said, her cheeks coloring and feeling slightly silly at the obvious statement.

"For how long?" Bellatrix wondered, trying to claw her way further into her body so she could hear her sister's voice.

"You aren't intruding, Hermione," Narcissa said, "I didn't want you to sleep like that all night, especially with the days you've had."

"She's never intruding," Bellatrix thought, wishing she could express how she felt.

At the mention of it, Hermione suddenly felt very sore, stretching slightly in an attempt to loosen her muscles. "I should get to bed."

"Sleep well, Hermione," Bellatrix thought tiredly, already feeling herself begin to sink further away, "Thanks for talking to me."

"Good night, Hermione," Narcissa said distractedly, wondering about the tingle she felt in the back of her head.

It was similar to what she had felt when she was younger, when her gift for Legillimency was beginning to make itself known. She had learned to control it since then, and seldom heard the thoughts of others without trying unless they were tied to very strong emotions. It was a skill she kept hidden from most people, but she only used it in very extreme circumstances. Hermione's thoughts had never extended beyond her mind before, and Narcissa had no reason to think there was significant emotion behind them for her to sense it. Besides the two of them, there was only one other person in the room, but Narcissa was unsure if it was feasible or if she had maybe just imagined it.

Trying not to be too hopeful, she whispered to the quiet room, "Bella, are you there?"

She held her breath, waiting, hoping for some sign that her sister was there. As more time passed without a response, her heart began to sink, but still, she waited. Uncharacteristically, she worried her lip between her teeth, wondering if she was being foolish. Maybe she had just imagined it, or maybe it had been Hermione.

"I'm here Cissy, I'm here," Bellatrix thought with the last of her remaining strength, hoping it was enough.

Just as Narcissa was about to stop waiting, she felt another tingle in the back of her head. She set the candle back on the nightstand, collapsing to her knees next to the bed. She reached for Bellatrix's hand, threading their fingers together and laughing softly into the mattress as tears crept from her eyes and down her cheeks. She didn't receive another response, but she wanted to remain optimistic. She wanted her sister to still be there.