Kakashi's hand was almost limp in mine. I could see the signs of shock coursing through his body. Worried, I brushed the top of his hand with my thumb. I bit my lip nervously as I gave him the softest look I could.

"Breathe," I told him quietly and gently.

He took a large breath in. I nodded encouragingly at him.

"Breathe with me." I instructed him. I pulled his hand and held it against where my heart is. I could see it disturbed him to have his hand near my chest, but I wanted him to feel my heartbeat. I knew it would be calming and reassuring. I went through the process of breathing in for five seconds, holding it for five and letting it out for five. After a minute of this, I could see his body untensing little by little.

"How…"

I shook my head at him with a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

"I'll explain as much as I can, Kakashi." I grabbed his hand and rubbed it again in soothing circles. His hand tightened around mine like clutching a lifeline. "It starts with my kidnapping, actually."

He gave a small flinch at that, but I continued in the same airy tone.

"It was orchestrated by the Akatsuki, actually, before it became the Akatsuki. More like the leader at the time: Madara Uchiha." Kakashi inhaled sharply and his grip on my hand became tighter. "He and another member were orchestrating things behind the scenes for many years. I managed to thwart the plan to destroy Konoha from within with my death."

I paused here. "I'm sorry I did that to you. It wasn't fair of me. I had that seal that kept me from telling you what was going to happen. Still, I shouldn't have done that."

"It – it's okay–" He stammered, but I cut him off.

"It isn't, but I want to get this explanation over with." I saw him nod at me briefly, if a bit stiffly. "I died that day." I acknowledged and I saw how even under his mask, his face seemed downturned as he withheld any further reaction to my words.

Throughout the explanation, I kept rubbing circles on his hand.

"However, Madara saw a use for me still. They have the Rinnegan in the Akatsuki and with the cost of life force from the user, they can bring people back to life." I smiled sardonically at him. "I was also reborn that day." And I could say that honestly; I'd died that day, but I was reborn after my death.

"Where have you been?" His voice was strained as he asked the question.

"I was held at the Akatsuki base. I was…there for a while, you could say." I told him hesitatingly. This seemed to upset him further. I quickly went on to finish my explanation. "I wasn't mistreated terribly, Kakashi. They didn't want information about Konohagakure from me; they have a spy for that. I healed members – not by choice, though. I honestly made things harder for myself during my stay."

"How?" His words were said with trepidation, like he didn't want to know the specifics.

"Refusing to eat. Refusing to change clothes. Refusing to dress up, use make up, destroying my room and furniture. I made a huge mess of the room and had multiple escape attempts." I gave a small snort of laughter as I remembered my epic fail of using a sharpened piece of wood as a weapon like it was going to work against a kunai or someone using genjutsu, kenjutsu, taijutsu or ninjutsu.

He was staring at me with wide eyes, like he couldn't believe I'd do all of that, that and a mixture of something else. I knew my laugh at my predicament probably disturbed him on some level, but thinking back, as panicked as I was and as much as I needed to escape, I probably should have come up with a better plan.

"Sorry," I said and bit back the rest of the laughter. "I made a makeshift weapon out of my desk's leg." I shook my head at him with a rueful half smile. "It didn't go well, obviously. An epic fail, really."

He stared at me with an uncomprehending eye.

"Anyway," I continued after a moment of silence as he waited for me to calm down. "The leader of Akatsuki – not Madara anymore, but someone who I think was claiming to be him – decided I needed more supervision and a new room. I stayed in his room after that."

This information disturbed him greatly from the horrible twisting of the part of his face I could see. His eye closed and his forehead scrunched in his upset and disgust.

"It wasn't bad, really. Uncomfortable, sure. But I was given meals still, the clothes I need and I had a bed."

"Did you have your own bed?" He bit out and whipped his head toward me. His eye opened and stared at me intently.

I cleared my throat and my thumb stopped its movements momentarily. I immediately averted my eyes before realizing the tell I'd just given off. I went to continue the calming movement of my thumb and went to look him in the eyes and lie when his other hand clasped the hand holding his other one, preventing further movement.

His face was serious and he didn't blink. His grip was firm and I felt the minute shake of his hands where they sandwiched my hand. "Rin, he didn't – please tell me he didn't –"

I quickly shook my head. "We shared a bed. That's it. While obviously not a good person and a murderer, I'm not sure if he was capable of such a thing."

He exhaled loudly and his body slumped dramatically at my words.

"He kept his hands to himself?" He asked hopefully.

I laughed uncomfortably, and forced myself to sound sincere. "Just because we shared a bed didn't mean we had to touch, Kakashi." I couldn't bring myself to lie to him about this; he didn't need a lie or the truth, a dismissal and change in topic would work (hopefully, my mind clutched onto).

I could see he wasn't convinced and I knew my laugh may not have been a carefree or a laugh filled with actual humor. I hurried to placate him.

"Relax, Kakashi. Jiraiya saved me and brought me back just yesterday. He took me shopping for an apartment and everything else I'll need on Konoha. I brought back a lot of information on the Akatsuki for Tsunade, but I still have ANBU watching me just in case. I'm getting settled in, too. I've spoken with Genma and went out to eat with Asuma and Kurenai today. It's been great." I used my remaining hand to cup both his hands in mine reassuringly.

He gave me a strained eye smile and I knew that this was a lot for him.

I worried my lip for a moment before letting go of his hands. "If you need time, I can give it to you. I was dying to see you, so Jiraiya brought me over. It's a bit much, especially for people who thought I've been dead for seventeen years. I won't begrudge you some time, Kakashi." This time my smile was patient and sincere. "It's been a bit of a shock for me, too, but I can't imagine how hard this has to be for you."

His face, from what little I could see of his one third of his face and eye, were heartbreaking and I could feel pain in my chest from the look on his face. He looked like he was seeing a ghost; he looked like his heart was shattered and from the glaze in his eye, I thought he might be seeing a flashback or dissociating.

I waited for him to finally respond after a few moments when his eye finally seemed to clear and focus in on my face again.

"Welcome back, Rin." His eye smile was forced, but he seemed genuinely happy if a bit tired.

"I know you, Kakashi." I said sternly. "You're going to rest now. You're not going to make a big escape, you're going to do exactly what the med-nin tell you to do." I pointed my finger in his face to help make my point.

His face seemed to clear and humor flashed in his single eye.

"Of course," he said in an innocent voice.

I bit back a returning grin and laughter and tried to keep my face fierce and chastising. I jabbed my finger in his chest and he jumped just a little and rubbed at the spot as I continued in a firm voice: "Seriously, Kakashi. I'll be checking in on you and if I find out you've left early or are going against med-nin orders…" I let my words trail off.

"I promise." He said as innocently as his earlier words.

I turned away from him to hide my grin and laughter. I could feel my shoulders start to shake just a little before I finally gathered myself.

"I'll sic Gai on you," I threatened him half seriously and half jokingly when I was able to finally turn back to him.

He gasped dramatically and brought a hand to his chest like I'd wounded him.

"Why would you do such a horrible thing like that?" He actually sounded minutely stressed, but I knew he was a good actor.

"Because I care about you, silly." My words seemed to have a certain effect on him as his eye widened minutely before he settled back into his innocent expression.

"Thank you." I was surprised by his words as they sounded sincere and even nostalgic.

I tilted my head at the undertone before nodding at him firmly. "We stick together, Kakashi. While we may have lost two of our team, that just means that we need each other more than ever. I'll give you time to get used to the information I gave you and my presence here, but you're not going to get rid of me, Kakashi. You'll find I can be a leech; I will stick to you like a leaf to chakra!"

He seemed to space off for a second before he eye smiled at me again. "I'm looking forward to it." He told me.

"Good." I stood and gave a short wave. "I'm going to get home and take some time to relax. I'm still not used to crowds and people keep thinking I'm an imposter and are confronting me. I'm going to go lay low for a while. Get better and listen to the professionals!"

He gave a small and short wave back as I left and shut the door behind me. I let out a deep sigh and headed towards the entrance of the hospital. As I made my way towards the doors, I noticed a group of familiar people in the entryway. Surprised, but happy, I headed over to them.

Asuma, Kurenai, Gai and Genma stood at the entryway of the hospital waiting for me.

I smiled brightly at them and as I approached them. Gai had a look of seriousness wrapped with a gratefulness on his face. I decided I didn't want to unbox that right now…or maybe ever. If I was having trouble with people like Genma, Asuma and Kurenai, I could only imagine what it would be like to take on Gai.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Jiraiya told Genma, Asuma and I that Kakashi was back and you were talking to him. Gai heard the rumors and came to tag along. We wanted to be there for you guys when you were finished." A large smile began to pull at the edges of my lips. I was so happy and grateful to have people like them here for me, but I also felt some deep sadness for what they lost and who I could never be.

"Thank you so much, all of you." I gave them a small bow in thanks and felt a large rough hand on my head. I glanced up and saw Gai grinning sunnily with blinding white teeth.

"It is good to see you back, my friend." He told me in as quiet and gentle voice as Gai could probably ever imagine making.

He released me as I stood up straight. "Thank you, it's good to see you, too." I thought for a second. "You know, Kakashi might need some comfort after that talk…" I trailed off and looked under my eyelashes at Gai.

He stood straighter and brightened up. "You're right!" His voice a shout now. "I must go check on my Eternal Rival. I will see you soon!" He shot off in a random direction and I wondered how long it would take for him to finally realize he needed a room number, or would find the room accidentally.

I heard a snort behind me as I gazed at Gai's retreating figure.

"That wasn't very nice." I heard Genma say with a metal clink. I turned back to look at him, but he wasn't chastising, he was smiling at me. His face was full of laughter and as I turned to Kurenai and Asuma, they were trying to hide their amusement as well.

I shrugged. "He does need someone there to watch him." I reasoned. "And I thought maybe I saw Kakashi getting out of bed as I left." I lied.

Asuma shook his head at me. "Yeah, I'm sure." He replied sarcastically. I couldn't bite back the responding sheepish grin.

Kurenai latched her arm around mine and her voice was lecturing when she spoke. "I'm sure Rin is only doing what's best for Kakashi, right?" She asked and turned to me.

I nodded immediately. "Of course."

She nodded firmly at me as if that was the end of the discussion. "I'm sure it had nothing to do with getting rid of Gai." Her words were a bit sly now and I could see her eyeing me from the corner of her eyes.

I hid a wince from her. "Of course not." I could see the others weren't convinced, though, so I changed the subject. "So, since Kakashi needs some time to take in the new information, can I count on you guys to make sure he is doing what he needs to? Eating, sleeping, taking care of himself?"

I saw the other three give me serious nods now and I felt relief. My body sagged with it and I gave them all a grateful smile.

"Thank you. I don't think he's going to want to see me for a while – or it'll just be harder to see me for a while, is more like it."

I could feel Kurenai tighten her arm in mine. "We'll take care of it, and if we can't, Gai will."

I shook my head as I fought back laughter. "Right. Well, thank you again."

"It's no problem, Rin." Genma said around his senbon.

"Let's get you home." Asuma suggested. "It's been a long day for you and Kurenai offered to stay and make some food with you. I think you skipped lunch when talking to Kakashi."

I glanced down at Kurenai and she looked back with a small smile. "I hope you don't mind." She told me a bit sheepishly.

I gave a small shake of my head. "No, that sounds great." I pulled her arm tighter against me as the men walked with us through the streets.

I could see that people were more attuned to my presence now as rumors had begun to spread like wildfire. My three escorts were keeping others at bay and letting them know that I was believed and under their protection. I appreciated it and had no idea how to speak the words aloud.

I felt choked up with their acceptance, their help and their kindness.

And honestly, while I did want to get rid of Gai until I could handle him better, I did really think Kakashi needed someone with him so he didn't do anything crazy. I was truthful when I believed he needed people to keep an eye on him.

Kakashi was a strange mixture of guilt, regret, fear and pain, as well as grudging responsibility and the urge to just keep going on. I didn't know how he did it; how he continued despite all he went through. I didn't know how he kept going on with his guilt and pain. I always felt he was just that close to crossing that line and I didn't want that to happen because of me.

He was a complicated person with real emotions. He had real fears, real pain and real suffering and I needed to remember how to treat such a person with his past when I talk and handle him.

We neared my apartment as the boys continued a conversation that I didn't quite follow. Kurenai stuck with me the whole time and the boys left us at the apartment as us girls let ourselves in.

Kurenai let go of me once we were in and headed for the kitchen. "What kind of food and supplies do you have to cook with?" She opened the fridge with a quick glance and headed for my cupboards.

I watched her for a second before following after her and talked about what I had bought and what I had to cook with.

She sighed minutely, but started grabbing items. "Probably should have asked the guys to buy a few more things," She said.

I shrugged. "Sorry, I don't eat much and I don't know a lot to make." I felt a bit helpless as she hurried around my kitchen and started putting things together. I didn't know how to help, or where to start.

"No, you wouldn't." She agreed in an almost dark tone. I could hear where this was going and I wasn't sure I was ready to go there.

I approached her quickly moving figure and asked, "Anything I can do to help?"

"Just watch me so you know how to do it next time." She said as she never stopped her movements.

I didn't respond, just uncomfortably watched her hurry about to make us food. I reached over a few times to help here and there, but she shot me down quickly. It was uncomfortable to not help out when she was going through the effort to make me something, but I bit my lip and placed my heads behind my back as I leaned against the counter.

Eventually she looked up with a soft look. "Not helping doesn't come easy to you still, does it?"

"Ah," I thought over her words and tried to ignore another sign that Rin and I were closely intermixed. "No," I said in a small grumble finally after the silence became less comfortable. "It doesn't."

"No," She said and her look softened even more. "I didn't think so. Some things just don't change, do they?" She said rhetorically and went back to cooking.

I pursed my lips and looked straight ahead and tried not to let her words get to me. She seemed to notice because she stopped what she was doing and turned to me fully.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories." She apologized with a gentle tone.

"It's okay, you didn't. I'm just getting used to being back here. I'm not…used to people treating me like this." Like I'm someone I'm not. Like I'm my past self. "I guess I'm just uncomfortable with how fast things are going; how I know I'm not the same person, but I'm still alike anyway…" How despite the fact that I knew Rin and I had traits that were alike, I didn't expect us to be this alike. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer."

She turned off the burner and pushed the pan aside. I knew that there was no way she was finished cooking that raw meat and instead wanted to focus on this conversation fully. Her face was twisted in sympathy and a dark undertone.

"This must be really difficult for you." She acknowledged. I had to agree, but I felt it was harder for them. "I know that look, Rin." She said sternly as she stared at me. "You're thinking about others again and not yourself, weren't you?"

I looked away from her, both ashamed and not willing to lie.

"After what happened, the last thing you need to be thinking about is others, Rin." She told me in a firm voice. "Let others deal with their own feelings and you deal with your situation first. It's a shock, a happy one, and it's something we have to deal with. You need time to get used to this change and to reconcile what happened."

She rubbed her dirty hands against the rag I had hanging from the stove and approached me slowly.

"I don't know what happened to you when you were gone, Rin, but you are obviously upset and having a hard time. You're doing well, but I can tell. I told Asuma to give us some time because while I won't make you talk, I think you need to." Her look was piercing now and I was surprised by her attitude because I hadn't seen her all that much in the show. Not as much as the main characters. I knew she was a mothering type, though.

"I'm not sure…" I said quietly aloud.

"I won't make you." She repeated. "But I think you need to."

I took a few seconds to think. She was right; I had no one to talk to about this. While I would never explain the reincarnation to anyone nor did I ever want to talk to anyone – including Obito – about it ever, I had to admit I was disturbed.

While I wasn't captive for seventeen years as the story I created went, I still spent some traumatizing time with Obito. I was traumatized by how he kidnapped me, treated me and being on constant alert around the Akatsuki. I didn't have to say much – I couldn't really say much, either – but she wouldn't be a bad person to talk to. She had already done so much for me and if she was as concerned as she was inferring, she deserved to have some closure, too.

She went to reach for the food again and I stopped her with my hand.

"Wait, we can talk. Just a little." She seemed both relieved and happy, although she didn't say it aloud. She pulled back from the stove as I led her towards my living room. I sat on the couch and she plopped down next to me. I felt my hands twitching a bit in response to my anxiety and the urge to do something to distract them.

I felt her hands curl around mine in a kind and gentle embrace. I didn't look her in the eyes, but a small smile started to pull at my lips.

"I can't give you what might be confidential information, but I can say what happened there, if a little."

"Anything you want to talk about." She assured me.

I took a steadying breath and spoke about my initial resistance – refusing to change clothes, to sleep, make-up, being dragged to the bathroom along with my two escape attempts. I talked about how the leader of Akatsuki and I shared a room and while I didn't feel he was capable of nonconsensual things, I was disturbed by his interest in me and how when we shared a bed, he'd pull me into his arms.

I felt bad about inferring that Obito was a creep and for bringing up the bed thing, but I was seriously still disturbed. I worried each and every day and night that he'd come back and pull me into bed with him. And what if I had been wrong and he'd wanted more?

She seemed pretty disturbed by the end of my long rant. She never interjected and listened intently.

"That wasn't everything, of course," I told her, feeling emotionally drained. "But you get the gist."

She nodded slowly and seemed to be thinking closely over all I told her. "That sounds terrible." She replied honestly and in an empathetic voice. "I'm sorry for all you went through and if it's any consolation, we would have looked for you if we knew you were still out there."

I gave her a small quirk of the lips back, but didn't respond otherwise. They came when they heard and that's all that mattered aside from the fact that I was technically only a prisoner for a little over a week. I could feel the guilt roil in me for the story being so incomplete, but she continued on before I could contemplate that further.

"This leader sounds both interesting and disturbing, too. I do think he felt more for you and I'm just glad you got out when you could. I'm not sure I'd agree with you that he has the morals you say he probably has. I know you're away from there now, but be careful." She warned. "I think he was hoping for more in the future, however long it took. Maybe he was waiting for you to give up. Maybe he was waiting for a day you'd pick a fight. Maybe he was waiting for you to feel for him after he gave you enough affection and gifts. I don't know, but I don't think that's the last you'll see of him."

I agreed with her there – Obito would be back sometime. For all I knew, he could be watching me now. He could be listening to me talk about him like this. Maybe he'd seen I'd embraced being Rin and reconciled with friends – especially Kakashi. I didn't know, and I had no idea how to detect him.

"Thank you for trusting me with this information," She said and squeezed my hands one last time before releasing them. "We'll try to keep you safe as well. You know Kakashi would do anything for you."

I felt my lips form into a tight line.

"He shouldn't have to. He's been through so much." My words were tense and trembled.

I could see her shake her head from my line of sight. When she spoke, her words were tender. "That's just who Kakashi is, and who you are to him. Now that you are back, he's not going to let you go so easily. We won't either. We can take some time to train you back up so you can defend yourself. It'll take time, but we have that time. Trust me, it'll only get better from here."

I did feel a little lighter after talking to her and she was probably right that training would be a good idea while I was on probation. I wouldn't be able to work at the hospital until the probation was done and if she was willing, relearning how to fight would be a great idea.

I didn't think I'd ever want to be on the frontlines again like Rin was in my past life, but I could work in the hospital. I'd learn to defend myself so Kakashi wouldn't have to worry so much.

I took a deep breath and looked at her with teary eyes. "Thank you, Kurenai. For everything."

"Of course," She said immediately. She rubbed a tear out of my eye before standing. "We need to get this food made. And I for one am starving."

I laughed lightly at her as she began the process of cooking the meal and watched her intently so I could one day make it myself. While I wasn't sure what she was making, I was sure I was going to like it. Kurenai hadn't been wrong so far and I was going to trust her.

3rd POV

When Kurenai finally left Rin's quaint apartment, she headed towards where she knew Asuma was waiting for her. She entered the bar when she got there and headed for their usual place. Genma sat with Asuma and they spoke in low voices. She couldn't hear them over the chatter and when she got to their spot, she realized they'd put up a seal to block their voices from others hearing.

Asuma dropped it as she sat and put it back up. He shoved her favorite in front of her as soon as she'd sat and she took a small sip while still mulling over what Rin had said.

"How'd it go?" Genma asked with a concerned look. "You look pretty upset."

Kurenai hummed for a minute before speaking, hands still clutched tightly around her drink. When she spoke, she could feel her hands tightening even further.

"She told me a bit about what happened at the base during her time there. It was…disturbing, to say the least."

"Yeah? Allowed to share a bit?" Asuma prodded with a matching concerned look as Genma's.

"I don't think I should say much, but the leader was obsessed with her." Kurenai's voice was hard and tight with anger.

"What do you mean?" Genma's voice held trepidation and worry.

"After she destroyed her room one day, he made her stay in his. There was only one bed. And he didn't keep his hands to himself." She could see Genma and Asuma's faces pull up in upset grimaces. "He didn't assault her, but he could very well have given her a bed and not cuddle with her when she slept. Who knows if he'd gone any further if she'd been there much longer."

"Does Kakashi know?" Asuma asked slowly, mind whirling.

"I don't know." Kurenai responded honestly. "Probably not. Rin isn't the type to worry Kakashi over things like that. She only told me because I pushed a bit. She was pretty upset when I said a few things and she finally opened up. It was short and obviously not the whole story, but she really only spoke about the things that upset her terribly."

"I bet." Genma muttered under his breath and took a deep gulp of his drink.

"I told her we'd help retrain her. Help her defend herself next time. She really isn't fit to fight right now; she's terribly out of shape."

Asuma nodded along. "Of course we will."

"Sure." Genma agreed.

There was a pause.

"No one's going to tell Kakashi, right?" Asuma confirmed.

"Absolutely not." Genma snorted and Kurenai nodded in agreement.

A/N

Sorry, this feels a bit late. Work and life has been crazy and I was starting to write this yesterday when a friend messaged me and wanted to go cosplay at a big comic con event a few hours away. I grabbed what I could and was exhausted when I got home. Just woke up and finished this. I hope it's okay! Have a great day and know that I'm so thankful for all your support!