My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
💚Sweetie, Let Me Give You The Daddy💚
"The best investment I ever made, was when I lost fifty million dollars and met the love of my life as a result of that."
‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️
‼️Romance/Angst/Drama/Lemons‼️
‼️AS/CG/The Greys/The Steeles/José Rodriguez/Grace Grey‼️
💚Now, in case it wasn't clear, this will be a Christian POV story. and I know you will want Ana's PoV, but it will just be Christian.
💚 READ & REVIEW, DON'T BE A SILENT READER 💚
Chapter 5: (Yellow) Rue (4,3K)
For a moment Christian stood frozen, looking at the man from head to toe. Though he knew he had no right to, his eyes first went to his left hand, to check if the man was wearing a ring. But the finger was free of any decorations, which didn't necessarily mean much. After all, the few times he had seen Ana since she came back, her fingers had been free of all sort of jewellery. But maybe they were the sort of couple that didn't want to wear wedding bands.
All he could think about was the fact that Ana was comfortable enough with this man to leave him alone with her child whilst she was taking a bath. Ana, with all her trust issues, the one who refused to tell him where she lived for two years, trusted this man enough to have him look after the person who mattered the most to her in this world.
And Grace herself had her tiny arms wrapped around the man's neck, doing her best to hide her face from Christian, using the man as a shield. Obviously, Ana didn't need him to step up as a father, as her daughter already had one.
He took a minute step backwards, that did not go unnoticed by the blue-eyed man. This was his out. He could go back to his "normal" life after the operation, and Grace would never need to know about him. Sure, he would lose Ana, but in the end, wasn't it for the best? She obviously had the life she had always wanted, if it weren't for the small deviation of Grace's illness; and she didn't fit in the life he wanted. Not anymore now that she came with a kid. Maybe he could distantly stay in Grace's life by paying child support and asking Ana to send him pictures occasionally.
But then, just as he was considering leaving before Ana ever got the chance to see him unwanted at her doorstep, he recalled his brother's last words. He and Elliott hadn't been in contact since his brother basically called him an insensitive alcoholic and told him that he would cut ties with him if he refused to be in little Grace's life.
And no matter that he wasn't very active in his family's life; he knew he couldn't completely sever ties with them. Even though he didn't see them as often as he ought to, they were still a part of his life, and as Ana had pointed out so many times, they were a part of his balance between work and everything else.
The man fondly smiled to him, signalling with his hand for Christian to get in, as he added, "I'm Andrew, by the way. Come on in. I don't know what Ana cooked for tonight, but it's in the oven, and it smells delicious."
"It's lasagna night!" The little girl cried out, obviously obfuscated that Andrew could have forgotten about such an important thing. And though his mind was fully focused on the man who was so at ease inviting him in to Ana's home, a part of Christian agreed with the young girl. How could one forget about Ana's lasagnas?!
Andrew rolled his eyes, smiling mockingly at the little girl before nudging her and asking, "Instead of thinking of food, did you say hi?"
She pouted, and the slight crease in her brows made him think of Jason pouting after being scolded. She looked in his direction, her bright blue eyes apprehensive, and she said in the smallest voice there could be, "Hello, Mr Christian."
"Hi," he awkwardly answered, before following them inside, fighting his instincts to walk the other way and go back to his hotel room.
Andrew confidently led them to the living room where Christian could see a massive puzzle in construction. He sat on the sofa, whilst Andrew sat on the floor, and Grace sat on his lap, reaching for a new piece so she could examine it as if it was a precious diamond. Christian took a longer look at the puzzle, estimating that it was at the very least a thousand pieces, and though the middle was missing, it looked like when finished, it would depict a Chinese dragon.
He did find it weird that such a young girl was doing such a complicated puzzle, but did not comment on it, and instead listened to the conversation between Grace and the man who obviously substituted for her father.
"My mommy said that when I will feel better, Grams will take us to see a musical. And it's not one with princesses and stuff. It's the bedtime story she is reading to me for now."
"That's nice. Did you already listen to the songs? What's your favourite?"
"My mommy said that I can't listen now. Because there is a magic surprise for me when we will see the musical with Grams."
Andrew smiled, mostly giving the pieces of the puzzle to Grace instead of placing them. The two of them kept on talking, whilst Christian just witnessed the obvious bond between them, and he did not like how it made him feel inside. The little girl was talking to Andrew as if he was the best thing there was in her life, laughing at his jokes and consulting him every time she was hesitant about a placement of a puzzle piece.
It was only when Grace suddenly got up and rushed to her room that he understood what he was feeling.
"Andrew! I forgot to show you something!"
As Grace stormed out of the room, relief coursed through Christian's veins, he looked at Andrew who was pushing himself up on the sofa, now sitting at the opposite end of him. She had called him by his name, and not Daddy. Even if she was formal with Christian, there was no daddy in her life. That spot was still open, and he would make sure that he would occupy it.
He was perfectly aware that this feeling was not coming from a good place. If his mother were here, she would lay him down on the couch and make him admit how he was feeling jealous and possessive over a title he did not deserve. And how it was abnormal for him to want to be in Grace's life not because she was his daughter, but because he didn't want her to call other men her dad. But his mother wasn't here for now, and he was sure he would grow to like the little girl, just like he had grown to love Ana.
Andrew looked at him, seemingly ready to say something, but before a single word could escape his mouth, Grace came back, brandishing a black stuffed animal, as she started explaining,
"I got it when I left the hospital! And Tío Jose said we were going to see Toothless at the movies together! Listen! Listen! He roars!"
She pressed on a paw of what looked like a misshapen dragon, and the stuffed animal did indeed roar. Andrew clapped, laughing with Grace, though his eyes briefly stayed on Christian as if he knew something Christian didn't. Finally, Ana appeared in the living room, only wearing a towel to cover herself, whilst she was patting her wet hair with another towel.
"Thank you so much, Andrew. You have no idea how bad I needed…, "
Her voice died down in the middle of her sentence as she spotted Christian looking at her with a clenched jaw and hands in fists.
Not only did she trust this Andrew guy to come into her home and spend time alone with her daughter, but she was comfortable enough around him to walk around practically naked, her hair down, without a care in the world.
For a moment she held his gaze, not feeling embarrassed in the slightest to have been caught with so little clothing on, and when Christian didn't say a word, she just smiled, shaking her head as she said, "Of course you'd show up on lasagna night, of all nights." Then she turned to look at her daughter, and told her,
"We'll be eating in ten minutes, Grace. So, clean up your puzzle pieces, and we'll get back to it tomorrow."
Grace did as she was told, without pouting or arguing, unlike what children usually did, and Andrew helped her put the loose pieces in different containers according to their colours, as she excitedly told him,
"You know, my Mommy said that we would spend our first Thanksgiving with Grams."
"You're going to fly on a plane again, then. You'll love Los Angeles. It's hot and — "
"No, no. Grams lives in America. We don't need to fly to go visit her."
Andrew chuckled and explained, "Los Angeles is in America. But you need a plane to go there, because it is very, very far away. Remember when you took the train to go to Canterbury?"
Grace nodded with a serious face as she was trying to understand the concept of taking a plane to travel within a country, and Christian started to put two and two together as to who Grams was.
"You know, Grams told me she'll let me eat all I want because I won't be sick anymore. She even said she will make a pumpkin pie, but I think she is wrong. Pumpkins are for Halloween. Just like we had last year."
"I remember. You were the cutest dragon I ever saw."
Grace giggled, and Christian felt a sudden urge to throw this man out of the window, for robbing moments from him he would never get back and rubbing it in his face. He turned his head slightly, just so his feelings wouldn't be obvious on his face, and he heard noises coming from the kitchen, proof that Ana was already there.
Though he wanted to go, he didn't want to leave Andrew alone with Grace, and his moral dilemma was cut short when the other man promptly got up, announcing that he would help Grace's mommy. Just as he passed by Christian, though, he muttered just loud enough for only Christian to hear,
"I'm not a threat, Grey. Never really was."
Christian didn't say anything, nor even showed a sign that he had heard him, focusing his gaze on Grace now, who was religiously sitting her stuffed animal on the sofa. She timidly glanced at him, and he decided to do what everyone had been telling him to do since he had learnt he had a child: tried to talk to the girl.
"So … you like puzzles?"
"Yes, Mr Christian. Andrew brought it to me because I was at the hospital."
"Oh ... I see," he awkwardly said, not sure what more he could add.
He realised that he should have thought to bring a toy of some kind, not because she was his kid, but because she was a kid going through a difficult time, and finally, he understood Ana's calm anger when he had arrived a few days ago with a gift for her, but not for their daughter. But in all honesty, he had no idea what one bought for kids, and if he called Elliott for advice, his brother would have made a bigger deal out of it than necessary.
"Mr Christian?" Grace asked, sitting up on the sofa herself, so her little dragon would be between her and Christian. He turned his head to her, though he let her know,
"You don't ... have to call me Mr Christian, you know."
"My mommy said it is polite to call grown boys mister."
"Of course," he muttered, doing his best to keep his annoyance to himself. She looked at him, her face showing seriousness as she asked,
"Do you live here?"
"No, I actually live in Seattle."
"So, you're new to America, like me?"
"Oh, no. Seattle is in America, it's just far away."
"Do you need a plane to get home?"
"Yes. But I have a place here as well."
"So, you live here? In America?"
He nodded, having no idea why it was so important for her to know that, though he was quickly enlightened,
"Grams said that in America, you eat a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. Is that true, or was she making a joke?"
She had narrowed her eyes in suspicion, daring Christian to lie to her face, and he couldn't stop a small smile as he answered,
"It is very true. And it is very good. My Mom even makes pumpkin cookies."
Grace looked at him with round eyes, barely believing her ears, before she narrowed her eyes at me, slightly pouting, demanding, "Are you making a joke?"
He chuckled and put his hand over his heart, as he assured her, "No, I swear it's true. I'll get her to make you some if you want."
She brightly smiled, though it quickly faded away, as she said, "My mommy said I can't eat a lot. But later when I am better, okay?"
Then, she got up and went to the kitchen, sure of herself that she had just made a great deal regarding the cookies. Christian followed her and the four of them sat around the table as Ana served each of them a plate. Grace had the smallest portion, and she looked at Christian's plate with indignation when her mother passed him his serving.
Before she could even say a word, Ana shut her down, "We already had this conversation, Grace, you can't stuff yourself with lasagna. Not until you get back from the hospital after you're all fixed up."
"But Mama, it's not fair! He gets to eat all the lasagna."
"Don't be rude. I already told you not to compare what you have with what other people have on their plate. Besides, Christian loves lasagna just as much as you do."
Grace glanced at Christian again, and he felt that the small progress they had made talking about pumpkin cookies was now gone. She was seeing him as a rival who was here to steal her lasagna.
"Well, he's not having mine," she protectively mumbled, putting her arm between Christian and her so she could shield her food from him. Ana rolled her eyes whilst Andrew covertly laughed and Christian kept receiving death glares from Grace.
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The dinner was just as awkward for Christian as when he had waited for Ana to come back from her bath. He truly felt like an outsider intruding on an intimate family moment. Both Ana and Grace felt completely free with Andrew, and a few of their interactions showed Christian that Andrew was considered as part of the family.
Still, no matter that he disliked the man with every fibre of his body, he had to admit that Andrew was mostly the one doing his best to include Christian in conversations. Especially the ones with Grace. And no matter how much he wanted to hate the guy, he couldn't fault him for trying to make things less awkward for him.
When it came time for Grace to go to bed, she dragged Andrew to her room so he could read her the "French book that Mommy is reading to me now," and Christian watched them disappear together, with very mixed feelings. Sure, it meant he had time alone with Ana, but it also meant that Andrew was there being the father figure he should be.
Ana got up, and started cleaning the kitchen, leaving Christian alone with his thoughts. It was only when she was in the middle of doing the dishes that he snapped out of it. He had always been surprised at how quick Ana could make a messy kitchen appear clean again. In the past, no matter how many times he would tell her that his housekeeper or the room service would take care of the mess, she still insisted on cleaning, claiming that she liked to do it anyway.
Without a sound, he got up and placed himself behind her. But she did not have the reaction he had hoped. She froze before taking a step to the right and putting some reasonable distance between them, reprimanding him.
"Christian …"
"As I told you before Ana. I still have feelings for you, and I won't repeat the same mistake twice."
"And as I told you before, things are different now."
He held her gaze, finally bringing up the elephant in the room, "Is it because of Andrew?"
For a second she looked at him before shaking her head and retaking her place in front of the sink, subtly forcing him to step back so he wouldn't be in her personal space.
"No. If you can't understand how things are different, you might need to have an appointment with your mother."
"If you're talking about Grace, wouldn't it be better for her if we were together?"
"Not really. The Christian I knew could go days, even weeks, without contacting me. The Christian I knew worked all the time, even when we were eating together. The Christian I knew rarely took the time to just live in the moment. And most importantly, the Christian I knew never spent time with his family of his own free will. Have you changed? Does this Christian only exist in my memory? Or are you still the exact same Christian who couldn't leave work behind even to look over a table to hold a conversation?"
Christian clenched his jaw, not giving her any answer because they both knew the truth. She didn't even spare him a glance, just shaking her head with a sad smile as she finished the dishes and cleaned the sink.
"You see, I have a lot of flaws, Christian. And I'm rather ignorant of life in general. But … I won't allow you to make my daughter feel like she doesn't matter. I can understand that you want to be in her life, and that you want to be her father. I do.
And to be fair, a father doesn't really matter. So many people have terrible fathers and end up being great people, and vice versa. But a Dad … it's a different story. If we go your way, and you treat her like you treated me, what kind of message does that send to her? It will just show her that she doesn't matter, that she is just an afterthought, and no matter what has happened between you and me in the past, I will never allow you to make her feel like that.
And, to be honest ... I don't think you could be her Dad, or that you would even want to be her Dad."
"No, of course not. You'd rather have Andrew take that role."
"I told you, Andrew is just a friend."
"I was just a friend at one point! And I don't think you would have let me tell your daughter a bedtime story if we had been in this situation!" He retorted with more anger than he intended. She turned her head to look at him, her damn condescending smile back on her lips.
"Andrew will never replace you as a father if that's what you're worried about."
Though he kept it to himself, he felt relieved. It wasn't as much that he wanted to be Grace's Dad, as he just didn't want Andrew to be.
"What about as a lover?"
"He is just a friend," she said, in barely a whisper, and though she had rejected him earlier, he raised his hand to caress her cheek, which wasn't chastised as he thought it would be.
"And what benefits does he get out of this friendship?"
"Christian …"
Their moment was interrupted by Andrew clearing his throat, standing by the entrance of the kitchen. Ana promptly put some distance between them, which didn't go unnoticed by Christian who wondered why she was so embarrassed if she was just friends with Andrew, to begin with.
"She's fast asleep, so I'm going to head off. But … I was thinking about taking her to the zoo, tomorrow."
Ana grimaced, apparently opposed to the idea, and Christian couldn't agree more. Grace didn't need more alone time with Andrew and his charming ways.
"Don't worry, I know how you feel about zoos. You're not invited anyway. I just want her to see giraffes since it was the plan for this summer," Andrew lightly said, unknowingly getting on Christian's nerves.
It was now obvious that Andrew didn't live with Ana, so he had no business staying any longer. Just like he had no business trying to spend more time with Grace. If anyone was to take her to the zoo, it should either be Ana or himself.
But before he could find anything to say that would subtly put that man and his overbearing presence back in his place, Ana's face dropped, and Andrew quickly strode over to her, claiming,
"I didn't mean it that way. She will still get to see giraffes in Africa next year. I just want to prepare her for how big they are, so she doesn't cry for an hour like she did with the horses."
Ana looked down, and it finally hit Christian. Seeing her so vulnerable, doing her best to hold back tears, he finally understood what everyone had been telling him for weeks. Grace might not make it. Everyone from Raymond to his parents had told him to go to his daughter and appreciate the moments, because there might not be many. But it had never really dawned on him that his child might die. After all, the natural order of life was for children to grieve their parents, not the other way around.
Maybe it was seeing Ana subtly acknowledge that Grace might not be able to see giraffes next year that made him realise it, but he knew that he would surely stay in New York if Grace was still in a critical state. In fact, at this very moment, he cared very little about Andrew and his plans of giraffes. All he wanted was to go to the other room and watch his daughter sleep.
So, without a word, he left the kitchen, just as Andrew was lifting Ana's chin and telling her to get her mind out of that dark place. He made his way to Grace's room, opening a couple of wrong doors on the way, and found the little girl sleeping, holding her dragon close to her.
The wall of her room was plastered with dragons of different cultures, and he saw a picture of Ana and Grace dressed as Cri-Kee and Mushu on her bedside. Silently, he entered the room, paying more attention to the details that would tell him more about his child. There were a few puzzles on the walls, all visuals of dragons, and all way too advanced for what Christian thought such a young child could do.
There were bookshelves, filled with books and colouring books. Christian sat on the floor, by the head of his daughter's bed, and peeked at a piece of paper on the nightstand. On it was Grace Marianne Steele & Anastasia Mommy Steele written in what he thought had to be Grace's handwriting. Though the letters were not perfect, Christian was surprised at how well they were written considering it had been by a five-year-old.
Those simple names proved one thing to Christian. The sad reality was that Grace had been perfectly happy without him. All she needed was on that piece of paper, her mommy. Her mommy who had been with her from the start, who gave her all the love she needed, who had given Grace her last name.
He closed his eyes, putting himself in his daughter's shoes. What if Michael had never wanted to be his Dad? What if he had known about him, but that was all he would ever get? Just some distant recognition that he existed. He had completely blown it. Ever since he had learned about Grace, he had thought she was nothing but a mistake, and now…
Now, she might die and never know he was her father.
What if he had opened that letter back when it was sent? Would he have done the right thing? He wanted to say yes, but without Grace's illness, he knew he wouldn't have even contacted Ana, afraid of succumbing to her demands. He would probably have given the letter to his lawyer and asked him to deal with it as discreetly as possible.
"I'm sorry, Grace. Your father is just a complete screw-up Dad. He hasn't even tried and yet he already failed. You deserve much better than me."
He opened his eyes, watching the little girl's regular breathing. She really didn't look much like Ana. Especially now that she had her eyes closed. Then he got up and straightened his clothes, as he uselessly kept on talking to his sleeping daughter.
"But your daddy is a selfish man. And he'll do his best to deserve you. Because that's what he wants now."
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💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
💚 So, no cliffhanger, just me being nice and warming that cold heart of Christian's. Hihi. Truly hope you liked the chapter, and back with the questions,
1. How do you feel about Christian, now?
2. What do you think of Andrew?
3. How do you feel about Ana?
💚 I'm always curious about your favourite part, and what you think will happen next, so let me know.
💚 E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, Everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors).
Love, Mina 💚💚💚