8.05pm
Lee approached Kate, who was staring down at her phone. She quickly put it away in her handbag when she saw him.
"You came! I wasn't sure if you would. I thought Lucy might have persuaded you against it".
"No. Lucy doesn't tell me what to do".
Actually, Lucy often did tell him what to do, but he felt defensive over her nonetheless, because there was something about the way Kate had said her name, the tone in her voice. There was a definite subtext to her words.
"Well, whatever, I'm glad you did".
Kate threw her arms around Lee then, embracing him so tightly it took him aback.
"It's okay to hug you right? Is it okay to hug you?"
"Of course", Lee said, squeezing her back.
She didn't seem to want to let him go for a few seconds, and he found himself carried away in the moment too.
"Maybe we should go in".
"Yep", Kate whispered almost breathlessly as she let go.
"Sorry I'm a few minutes late by the way, I was looking for my wallet".
"Still keep it hidden away then?".
"Very funny. I thought Americans didn't get sarcasm".
"I spent too long living with you didn't I. It rubbed off. You don't need your wallet anyway tonight, this meal's on me".
"You don't have to do that".
"Yes, I do".
"Great, three courses it is!".
"It's nice to see you haven't changed. And you still give good hugs".
"You too".
Lee followed Kate into the restaurant, and they were shown to their seats.
"Can I get you any drinks, madam, sir?"
"I'll have a Bellini please", Kate said. She had decided tonight was a cocktail kind of night.
"Just a glass of red for me please, the house one will do".
"Of course, I'll be back shortly".
"I thought you were more of a beer guy. You always turned your nose up at wine back in the day"
"Lucy got me into it, she's gradually trying to broaden my tastes.
"Why did you leave so suddenly?"
"Wow, no small talk first then? No you look nice tonight Kate, no how are you?"
"Sorry, how are you? And you do look nice tonight, you look lovely".
"Thank you, and I'm good, I'm happy".
"You look happy, you look more, I don't know...content than you used to".
"I was always happy, but I'm more settled now, I suppose. Is saying I look more content your way I've saying I've put on weight?"
"No, you've hardly changed at all actually. You just seem...calmer maybe. And that's saying something seeing as when we shared the flat you were really into meditation and yoga and all that mindfulness stuff. Come to think of it, maybe it's because you don't live with me anymore".
"Of course it's not. I'm not sure I'm any more calm. But I've built a really nice life back in California, weather's great, none of that endless rain malarkey I had to put up with living here. I can't believe how cold it is, I'd forgotten what English Winters were like".
"Are we really going to sit here and talk about the weather?"
"That's what you Brits like to do right?"
"Yes, but not with people who you haven't seen or heard from in six years and who owe you answers about...things".
"Sorry, it's just knowing where to start. How are you Lee? I didn't expect you to still be living in Tim's flat, I thought whoever lived there now might knew where to find you".
"It's not Tim's flat anymore, it's Lucy's. She bought it off him".
"Anyway, I thought you might be married with kids by now".
"Nah, you know me, never the relationship type".
"Still, I thought you might have found someone to make an honest man of you".
"Who says I haven't found someone?"
"Oh, you're in a relationship then, you have a girlfriend?"
"No, I don't have a girlfriend".
He had found someone of course, but they weren't in a relationship. Not the right kind of relationship anyway, not as far as he was concerned.
"A boyfriend? I'll be honest I didn't see that coming but that's great Lee, that you can be yourself at last".
"I don't have a boyfriend either. You and me both know I fancy women".
"So why still single then? A handsome man like you, you'd be a lovely catch for someone".
"I'm hardly fighting them off Kate. Having said that, there was a woman I did go out with a couple of times recently and she turned out to be a psycho, so I pretty much literally had to fight her off".
This threw Kate off a bit, she had assumed there was something between Lee and Lucy, even if they wouldn't admit it, but now he had mentioned going out with someone else, maybe she was wrong.
Lee decided to swiftly change the direction of the conversation, as he didn't feel comfortable being under this kind of questioning.
"What about you?, I don't see a wedding ring".
"Very observant, I didn't even notice you looking".
"That's one thing my deadbeat dad actually taught me, how to subtly check for wedding rings on women's fingers".
"Nice, not. No, I'm not married, there's been a few boyfriends, but none of the were marriage material. I've been single for a long while now".
"So you're a lone wolf?"
"I've got family, and friends, I'm not alone. I'm a strong, independent woman and I don't need a man to validate me, of course I miss sex but..."
"Excuse me Madam, Sir. Are you ready to order?"
Lee was glad the waiter interrupted them at that moment, he knew he was blushing, and was not sure what Kate was going to say next.
"No", they said in unison. Neither of them had even glanced at the menu yet.
"Shall I give you a couple of minutes?"
"Yes please".
With that the waiter walked away again.
"What would you recommend Lee?"
"What for, missing sex? Don't you ladies usually just go to Ann Summers or something? I'm not sure I'm really comfortable about discussing that sort of thing with you though".
"I meant, what food do you recommend from the menu? Though Ann Summers is a good recommendation for the other thing, that shop's been my lifesaver over the years".
"Kate, too much information. I..."
She was grinning now, seemingly enjoying making Lee squirm with embarrassment.
"I don't know about the food, I've never been here before".
"You've never taken dates here? It's only around the corner from your flat".
"I don't date, I'm not American. Are you still vegan? Because if not I always like a Carbonara".
"I'm still vegan".
"Oh, so you won't want the meat feast pizza with extra cheese either then?"
"No".
"What about the Pollo Al Forno?"
"That's chicken".
"How do you know that?"
"Pollo is Italian for chicken".
"Oh, sorry we didn't learn Italian at my comprehensive. I don't think they saw the point in teaching us as nobody from my school could afford to go to Italy. I think they assumed the furthest we'd ever get was France".
"I think I'm going to go for the Aubergine and tomato tagliatelle. How about you?"
"Would it offend you if I had meat?"
"No, just don't expect me to try any".
"I wasn't going to offer. So, why did you leave so suddenly? You avoided my question earlier".
"It wasn't really sudden".
"I woke up and you'd gone, just like that. No goodbye. I'd call that sudden".
"I left a note".
"Oh yeah. 'Lee, I've had to go back to America, I'm sorry, Kate'. I don't think that counts, no explanation".
"It was complicated".
"How?"
"In lots of ways. And I thought I'd come back eventually, I didn't think I'd be gone six years".
"Are you staying then?".
"No, just visiting".
"Oh right. How long for?"
"I've already been here nine days, I'm going back at the end of the week"
"You weren't in a hurry to look me up then?"
"I wasn't sure whether I should, I didn't know if you'd be pleased to see me. Are you pleased to see me?"
"Yes, surprised but pleased. Look, when are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"
Lee couldn't leave it any longer, somebody had to bring up the topic they had both so far avoided.
"I can see you've put on a bit of weight but there's no need to be that harsh on yourself, you still look good. I think you've matured well, like a fine wine".
"Well, thank you. But that's not what I meant. And you know it. I mean, what happened the night before you left".
"Oh, that".
"Yes that. We had sex, three times. You can't have forgotten".
"Of course I haven't".
"Did I do something wrong? I've never claimed to be Casanova but I've never had anyone move 5000 miles away immediately after I've slept with them. Was I that bad?"
"Sorry to interrupt again, are you ready to order now or did you still need some time?".
The waiter had clearly overheard again, his timing impeccable.
"No, we're ready. I'll have the Aubergine and tomato tagliatelle please".
"and I'll have the carbonara, thanks".
"Very good, I'll get those ordered for you".
The waiter bounded back to the kitchen.
"So? Put time out of my misery, was I terrible?"
"No, you were great, it was lovely. Surprisingly good".
"Surprisingly? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you always joked about being bad in bed, and it turns out you're not. At all. You've got skills".
"Well, thank you. Why did you leave then?"
"I already knew I was going, I just didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want to have to say goodbye. If I had you might have persuaded me to stay".
"You knew you were going, but you slept with me anyway? Is that the way people say goodbye where you're from? 'Cause where I'm from we just say good bye. Not lure people into bed and make them think you care about them".
"I did care about you Lee, I don't think you'll ever know how much. I don't think it's fair to say I lured you into bed as though I was some sort of sexual predator. I might have kissed you first but I seem to recall everything else that followed that night didn't require 'luring' of any kind. You were as into it as me".
"But I didn't know you were leaving. I thought maybe that night was the start of something".
"Maybe it would have been, if things had been different. I kissed you that night because we were having a moment and it just felt like the right thing to do, the only thing to do. It's not my fault that one thing led to another. I didn't only have sex with you because I knew I was leaving, I had sex with you because I wanted you, badly. But I had to leave, I had no choice".
"Why? Was it because of Tim, the reason you left? Was it because I'm Tim's best friend and we were getting too close?"
"No. The truth is, I found out my dad was very ill. He told me he wasn't going to get any better, so I had to go back home and be with him. Then after he passed away I didn't want to leave my mom and there was other family stuff, everything changed, I couldn't go back to my old life".
"I'm so sorry about your dad, I wish you'd told me. I don't understand why you didn't you keep in touch though. I know I've never been that comfortable dealing with emotions but I would have been there for you. I thought I'd done something wrong, or even worse that something had happened to you".
"I'm sorry. It was too hard. I missed London, missed you, and I had to try and forget about my life here. I didn't want to feel torn between two places, you know. I had to tell myself there was nothing back in England for me. The only way I could see to do that was by cutting you off completely".
"I see, I get it, I think".
"I am sorry Lee, looking back I realise I probably did the wrong thing".
"You did what you felt was right at the time, you can't change it now".
"No. I've thought about you a lot though, you've never been far from my mind".
There was regret in Kate's voice, then affection.
Lee felt a pang of guilt. As much as he'd cared for Kate back then, and how much he'd missed her at first, in recent years he'd hardly thought of her at all. Someone else was at the forefront of his thoughts now, someone closer to home. It was just a shame that someone probably didn't return his feelings. Probably didn't, not that he'd ever dared to try and find out. It was better to live with hope.
"Earth to Lee, I'm over here", Kate took Lee's face in her hands and gently turned his head back towards her own. He'd been elsewhere for a moment then, lost in a daydream.
He shuddered a little at her unexpected touch, as their eyes met once more. Kate moved her hands quickly away, though her eyes stayed focused on his. She'd forgotten how lovely his eyes were, how easy it was to get lost in their deep blue.
Lee cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. The tension between them was palpable now, and he felt something stirring deep inside him, and it was disconcerting.
"So, have you come over here on your own, you said you were visiting your sister?"
"No, I'm with family".
"Who?"
"No one you know. Tell about you anyway, what have you been up to in the last six years?"
Kate was acting slightly cagey all of a sudden, it felt like there was something she wasn't telling him.
"Nothing much".
"You haven't changed then? Doing nothing much was always your forte. There must be some news? Are you working now?"
"I have an ice cream van. Sorry, not a very vegan friendly job"
"Actually you can get some amazing vegan ice creams these days".
"Not in my van you can't".
"Business good?"
"It's all right In the Summer. Not much call for ice cream in February".
"You don't have a Winter job then?"
"Sometimes I deliver stuff, you know..."
"You've got a paper round? Growing up at last".
"No, I do leaflet drops for local businesses, deliver people's online shopping, that sort of thing. And I've started offering out my services as a handyman. I picked up some skills when I was caretaker of the flats, though I may as well use them".
"You were caretaker for less than a week".
"Yeah, well, that stupid orange boilersuit didn't suit me".
"I thought you looked sexy".
"No you didn't, you laughed at me".
"I'm sure I didn't mean it. How's it going, the handyman thing? Do you have plans to expand your business, employee some people maybe?".
"No".
"Ah Lee, still as ambitious as ever".
"Kate, if you've just invited me to dinner to insult me, I may as well go home. I get that from Lucy, I don't need anyone else to join in".
"I got the impression she liked you. She seemed keen to protect you from my evil claws".
"Protect me? What are you talking about?"
"She warned me against doing anything to hurt you".
"Yeah...well, we look after each other, we're friends".
"And that's all?"
"Yes, we're friends. Not that it would be anything to do with you if we were more than that. No contact for 6 years!"
Kate looked hurt, and Lee felt a bit guilty. He couldn't really hold that against her, not now he knew her reasons.
"I know, you're right".
"Yeah, and so are you. I know I'm not very ambitious. I know I'm a pathetic excuse for a man. I'm probably London's least eligible batchelor".
"Hey, stop right there, Mr low self esteem! You're not. Just because you're not some high flying lawyer or business man, doesn't mean you're pathetic. You're earning money. Lucy doesn't tell you you're pathetic does she? Because you don't deserve that".
"No she doesn't. She tells me I'm lazy sometimes, and that's usually when I am being. Despite the fact I'm unambitious and sometimes downright lazy, for some reason she's actually quite nice to me most of the time".
"Do you argue? We used to".
"We argue, and she insults me sometimes but I give as good as I get. I call it friendly banter, it's just the way we are together. It's weirdly enjoyable actually".
"Sounds just like me and you when we lived together".
"I suppose it is a bit. There's one very big difference though".
"What's that?"
"She doesn't make me be her guinea pig for tasting weird things she's baked using mungbeans and soya protein. Do you still make all that cra...crazy stuff?"
"Yes, you'll be pleased to hear that I've perfected my wheatgrass muffins at last".
"Oh, you'll have to give me the recipe. My wheatgrass muffins never rise".
"Well, the secret is...ah you're being sarcastic again right?"
"Sorry, it's an affliction".
"Lucy told me Tim lives in Germany now, do you still hear from him?"
"Yeah we keep in touch".
"How is he?"
"He's well. Still working in accounting, but you can't hold that against him".
"Has he got a girlfriend? Wife?"
"Yeah he has a girlfriend, Daisy, she's a hairdresser. They've been together for about four years. She still lives in London though so they've got a long distance thing going on".
"What's she like?".
"She's nice, completely dippy...some might say away with the fairies, but she's got a heart of gold. Me and Lucy spend quite a bit of time with her these days".
"Good, I'm happy for him. I bet you miss Tim don't you?".
"Yeah I do. It's weird not being able to go for a pint with him anytime I want".
"Who's taken the Tim sized place then? Who do you hang out with these days?"
"Lucy mostly. I replaced one Adams for another".
"So, erm...is Lucy in a relationship?"
"No".
"Right. That's interesting".
"Is it?".
"Yeah, a beautiful woman like her...".
"You're single, what's the difference?"
"I guess. So, what have you really been up to of late Lee? And don't say nothing. I bet you have some amusing tales to tell. Your life was always a bit like a sitcom".
"I ended up in a coma a few years back".
"Oh God, Lee. That's not what I'd call amusing. What happened? How long were you in the coma?"
"I got hit by a car. Sustained a couple of broken bones and a head injury. I woke up after a couple of weeks, the doctors said it could have been a lot worse".
"That's awful, did you sue?"
"Typical American attitude. No, it was my fault really, I was stupid and didn't look properly before I crossed the road. I'd just had an argument with Lucy and I wasn't thinking straight".
"You're okay now though? No long term effects?"
"No, I was lucky".
"Did it make you reassess things, having a brush with death like that?"
"A little bit, yeah".
Lee could still remember so clearly the dreams he'd had whilst in his coma, of being married to Lucy. They had made him realise just how much Lucy meant to him, and he held on to the hope that one day his dreams might come true, even though he had yet to act on his feelings.
"You always were prone to getting into scrapes weren't you?"
"Yeah, there's been a few over the years. This one time me, Lucy, Tim and Daisy went camping in some woods, only our car broke down and we ended up being surrounded by men in clown masks. We thought they were going to attack us".
"Did they?"
"No".
"Sounds scary though, what was the deal with the clown masks?"
"They thought we were dogging?"
"What's that?"
"Don't you have dogging in America?"
"What is it?"
"When people have sex in public places while others watch. There's certain places that are notorious for it. I bet they didn't teach you that at clown school".
"Do they always wear clown masks, people who do this...dogging?"
"No, well I assume not, I've not done it".
"I'd forgotten about clown school. That was an odd few weeks looking back. It turns out I didn't need clown school to find my lighter side, I just needed to spend a bit more time with you. Dogging eh? You learn something new every day".
"Last year we got lost at sea and nearly drowned thanks to my dad".
"Who's we?"
"Me, Lucy, Daisy and Dad. My dad invited us to stay on a crappy old boat he'd bought and then purposely sabotaged it for the insurance money. We ended up being saved by rowing an old dinghy back to shore. We thought we were going to die though".
"So far none of your stories have been very amusing. More concerning".
"Okay I think this will make you laugh. I took up Boxing a few months ago".
"That's not funny, I hate boxing, you might get injured".
"I did, so I don't do it anymore. The thing you'll probably find amusing is that I was paired to fight with a teenage girl, and she won. Pulverised me actually. Lucy certainly thought it was funny".
"Oh, no", Kate said, trying to look sympathetic but unable to stifle a giggle.
"And then there was the time I..."
...
A little later...
The waiter approached, plates in hand.
"Ah, here's our food Kate", Lee announced. He had just finished telling Kate about the stay in a haunted house last Christmas.
"Great, I'm starving. Life with you is never boring is it? Come on then, out of everything you've done in the last six years, there must be some things that didn't end up with you getting injured, almost killed or humiliated. I bet you've done some things you're proud of too?"
"Erm, I don't know...actually, maybe helping to deliver a stranger's babies in one of those gondola cable car things at a ski resort. I'm kind of proud of that".
"Wow, so you should be, did you really do that?".
"Yep. It wasn't much fun and there wasn't much dignity involved".
"Giving birth isn't dignified, ask any woman that".
"I meant not much dignity on my part, but mum and babies were unscathed by the experience so...".
"How come you ended up being the midwife then?"
"I know, not the obvious choice right? We were trapped in the cable car when she went into labour. Lucy had both her arms in plaster and a Daisy had just touched a bird. It's a long story".
"Lucy had both her arms in plaster? Skiing accident?"
"More luggage carousel accident but I won't go into that".
"So, you guys go on holiday together then?".
"Yes, as friends. So, how's your healthy tomato and aubergine thing. It looks...vegetably?"
"Very nice, do you want to try it?".
"No thanks".
"Still allergic to vegetables then?".
"No, Lucy makes me eat them. I just think you should have it all to yourself, it doesn't look very filling. Don't you want to know how my carbonara is?
"Meaty I expect".
"Creamy, Parmesany. I don't know how you can live without dairy".
"Quite easily, I don't miss it".
"So, are you still working in publishing?".
"No".
"I'm surprised, you loved that job".
"I had to take a career break, family reasons. I've recently set up my own business, doing yoga classes. It's the best thing I've ever done. It's the least stressful job I've ever had, and it keeps me fit and flexible".
"I remember when you tried to get me into yoga. You're weren't a bad teacher actually".
"Maybe not, though you were a lost cause".
"I'm not patient enough, or flexible enough".
"That takes practice, you didn't give it time. You should see how flexible I am".
Lee choked on a piece of pasta.
"I've had first hand experience of your flexibility remember".
"Trust me, I'm even better at it now".
Lee hoped she was talking about the yoga. Kate seemed to be flirting with him and it was making him a bit flustered.
They continued to talk as they ate, about London, California, politics, TV shows, and the old days...
...
Lee and Kate had finished eating and were waiting for the bill.
"Lee?"
"Yep?"
"Are you happy?"
"Yeah, Fairly happy".
"Not completely happy?"
"I'm happy enough. You know me, I'm the very definition of happy go lucky".
"You know what the Dalia Lama once said - happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions. Your happiness is in your own hands Lee, only you can build the future you want. You have to go out and get what you want in life. Make goals and do everything you can to achieve them".
"Are you a counsellor now? Lucy's already tried that on me. I was a lost cause there too".
"I'm just trying to say, if you feel like there's something missing in your life, think about what that is and how you can find it. Imagine your life is a jigsaw and the thing that will make you completely happy is a missing piece. Maybe there's no missing piece anymore, maybe you've already found it but just haven't worked out where it fits into the puzzle".
Lee wasn't entirely sure what Kate was still talking about, but he had the feeling she was being very astute.
"Can we keep it light, Kate. I feel like this restaurant isn't really the place for deep and meaningful conversation".
"Perhaps you should come back to my hotel, if you'd feel more comfortable there".
Kate twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, cast Lee a mischievous glance. Her flirting wasn't even subtle anymore. Lee's pulse started to race, his head swimming with conflicting thoughts.
"Kate, I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Anyway, as I say, let's just keep it light. You, know that's more me. I can't help it, I know you were always telling me I needed to be more serious, but life's too short to be serious all the time".
"I know, and in recent years I've embraced that side of me more. It's something you taught me Lee, that I've never forgotten. Having said that, I don't think I've laughed as much in years as I have tonight. No man has ever made me laugh as much as you".
"Yeah well, women have always tended to laugh at me, I just seem to have that effect on them".
"Laughing with you, not at you. You're funny Lee, and that's a good thing. It's a skill to be able to make people laugh. That plus the other skills you possess, it's a good combination".
"What other skills?"
"The ones I told you about earlier, bedroom skills".
"I can sleep for England, that's true. The snoring and farting would probably lose my some points though".
"I'm wasn't talking about sleeping, as well you know".
"These skills in the bedroom, what skills were you referring to specifically?
Lee wasn't sure why he'd asked that. He shouldn't be joining in with the flirting, this wasn't supposed to be a date.
"Well, you certainly know how to use that lovely long, thick tongue of yours, and these soft yet strong hands. Oh, and your cock is very impressive too".
"Ahem, your bill, Sir".
"Actually I'm getting this, I'm paying by card", Kate said, giggling as she realised the waiter had overheard their conversation again.
Lee continued their conversation when the waiter went to get the card machine.
"Is it? I mean I've never really had any complaints there but..."
"Hell yeah. Sorry to make you blush but you were really, really good, I don't think I've ever come so hard"
"Kate! Keep your voice down".
"You asked".
"Is that true, that you've never..."
"Yes".
"I can't believe you actually just said that".
"I'm being honest. You should try it more often. Did you enjoy it too?"
"You know I did, it's not like I wasn't vocal. I thought the neighbours were going to come round and complain".
"Oh yeah, you were loud".
"Not as loud as you".
"Maybe not".
"Look, I'm not sure we should be talking about this. Isn't it...a bit inappropriate".
"Why are you English so prudish when it comes to talking about sex? I didn't think you were a prude Lee, not with some of the dirty jokes you used to come out with".
"Joking is different".
"Look, Mr 'I'm London's least eligible batchelor', the thing about you is, you project this image of casual, not a care in the world bravado but I know it's a mask. You clearly need a confidence boost, and I don't think you know how good a lover you are. I'm just letting you know. I also don't think you know how sexy you are. Until you know your worth you'll never achieve your goals. Consider me your life coach.
"Life coach? All that self help stuff is such bollocks!"
"I knew you'd say that. You're talking to a former publisher of self help books remember".
"I didn't say it wasn't lucrative bollocks".
Kate couldn't help but laugh. Only Lee could get away with essentially insulting her yet come off as charming.
"So, do you really think I'm sexy?"
"Hell yeah".
"I'm hardly Brad Pitt Kate, I think all of those vitamins you're lacking through being a vegan must have clouded your judgement".
"Although after what you've just said I'm not sure deserve the compliment, I happen to think that you're charming and funny and handsome. Sexiness isn't all about big muscles and perfect teeth you know".
"You'd better stop now before I get too big headed. People who act like they're God's gift aren't attractive. I didn't think women liked that".
"No they don't, but a degree of confidence is. Being confident enough to tell someone you find them attractive or ask them out for example, isn't the same as being big headed".
"I suppose so. How come you're so annoyingly wise?"
"It's all those self help books I've read. You should read one some time. They might not be as bollocky as you think".
The waiter reappeared again, and it was Lee who had to stifle a laugh when he saw the waiter's face. Kate handed over her card.
Transaction complete, they left the restaurant.
"Lee, would you mind walking me back to my hotel?"
"No, I don't mind".
"Thanks. You've been lovely company tonight Lee, you were always good company".
Despite his determination not to let old feelings resurface, Lee couldn't help but think how nice it was to have spent time with Kate again tonight. It had made him remember how she'd made him feel all those years ago. She had the uncanny ability to make him feel good about himself. There was something about her bright personality and breezy yet calm demeanour that was undeniably charming. And there was no denying she was beautiful.
He checked himself again. He wasn't supposed to have feelings for Kate anymore, they were in the past.
"And so were you. Thank you for the meal, by the way".
"You're welcome. You look so uncomfortable you know, every time I compliment you".
Kate had noticed Lee's blushing, flustered demeanour had returned.
"That's because I'm not completely comfortable with being complimented. I'm not used to it. Anyway, what are your plans for the rest of your stay?"
"A bit of shopping, then just spending time with my sister".
"Whereabouts does she live?"
"Hampstead".
"Wow, that's very posh. How did she end up there?"
"She came here on holiday and met an English man. Typical Hugh Grant in Notting Hill type".
"I've told you before, the typical English man isn't the Hugh Grant type. Those men are few and far between. I'm not sure whether there is actually such thing as a typical English man. If there is I'd say he was probably more like me than Hugh Grant, put it that way".
"Why don't they put men more like you in films then?"
"Because romcoms are supposed to be idealistic and romantic. Ice cream man wouldn't be quite the same as travel book seller as a character would he? Ice cream seller sleeps with beautiful American actress would be an even less plausible storyline than the actual one".
"I'd watch it. Opposites attract right, otherwise how would we have ended up in bed?"
"True, we're such different people we should by all accounts hate each other right?"
"Exactly, but we don't. I've always liked you Lee".
"I like you too".
Lee felt the colour return to his cheeks again. He hoped Kate didn't get the wrong idea. He had enjoyed tonight, there was no question about that, but liking Kate was as far as feelings for her now ran. Maybe he still fancied her a bit, but he realised he didn't love her any more. Maybe he never had, maybe his feelings for her had never been more than physical attraction, lust.
They walked for a couple more minutes until they reached the steps to Kate's hotel.
"So...this is me".
"Nice hotel".
"It is, it's lovely actually".
"We should say goodnight then".
"Yeah", Kate breathed before leaning closer to Lee, placing her hand on his arm. For a split second he thought she was going to hug him, but instead she closed the gap between them and kissed him, crushing her soft, full lips against his. He was taken aback, but he found himself kissing her back, his heart beating fast. He heard a soft sigh escape from her throat and his body reacted, desire awakening within him.
It took Lee a good few seconds to properly register what was happening. As soon as he did, he started thinking about Lucy, his brain screaming at his body for betraying his feelings for her. As good a kisser as Kate was, it was Lucy he wished he was kissing right now. He pulled away, having finally regained some composure of thought.
"Kate...I..."
"Do you want to come up to my room?"
Kate's voice was a breathless whisper now.
"For coffee?"
Lee was fairly certain this was not what Kate meant.
"No, for sex. I don't see the point of euphemisms"
"Oh...well...erm...I suppose I've always admired your directness Kate. You want to have sex with me again, after all these years?"
Lee's head was spinning, his mind trying to process what was happening.
"Yes, I'd have thought that kiss was a bit of a clue. I still fancy you, I'm not going to lie".
"So you were flirting with me in the restaurant earlier?".
"Yes. As a master of flirting I'd have thought you could tell. You gonna come up then?"
Lee took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, I can't".
"I thought you were unattached?"
"I am".
Strictly he was, but his heart wasn't. His heart, that was currently still in his mouth.
"So then, I'm single, you're single. That kiss was pretty electric, we're compatible, sexually, you can't deny that".
"I shouldn't have kissed you back, I've given you the wrong idea, I'm sorry. This couldn't go anywhere. You're going back to America in a few days".
"I know that, and I didn't come here to start a relationship with you. Cards on the table - this is my offer. You and me spend the night together for old times sake. A bit of harmless fun. No strings attached?"
There was a time when a beautiful woman standing in front of him making this offer would have been a dream come true for Lee. And he even considered it for a second. Maybe Kate was right, maybe there was no harm in having a bit of fun. He felt comfortable with Kate, and he already knew what she liked in bed, as she did him. This was an offer of pleasure without the pressure. Despite this, Lee knew he had to say no.
"I'm sorry, I'm too old for all that now".
"You're not too old for sex Lee".
"I don't mean sex per se, I mean casual sex. As I said earlier, I haven't done that in a long time".
"You're not even tempted?"
"I am a bit tempted, I'm not denying that, but it wouldn't be a good idea".
"No? Toys do the job, don't get me wrong but there's nothing like the touch of a hot blooded human right? Don't you miss that? The feeling of someone else's skin against your own. The warmth of their embrace, their tight heat as you move inside them, hearing their moans as they come part in your arms".
Kate had inched closer to Lee again, and had taken one of his hands in hers, toying with his fingers. She was so close he could feel her breath on his face.
Lee swallowed hard, feeling as though his throat was drying up. He did miss all of those things, that was true, and Kate certainly knew the words to say to set his pulse racing.
"Jesus Christ Kate, I'm trying to walk away here. You're making it very hard".
"I can feel that".
"That...that's my wallet. I meant hard to walk away".
"Then don't".
"I have to. I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn't be right".
Kate nodded, letting go of his hand and taking a step back. Lee immediately felt like he could breathe again. It had taken very little willpower in the end, to say no.
"It's her isn't it?"
"I don't know what you mean. I just can't go back, I'm sorry".
Lee knew exactly what she meant.
"You do know what I mean, I think you're in denial. It's alright, I get it now...you've moved on. But, you can't blame a girl for trying. As I said, things have been pretty drought like on that front for ages now".
"Same here actually. I've only been been with two women since you. And they were just after you left. One was a misjudged one night stand, rebound thing I suppose, then was another one, that lasted two weeks".
"Who was she?"
"Just a woman I sold an ice cream to. Gemma she was called. She had a thing about men in white coats. And she insisted on bring ice cream into the bedroom".
"Tricky thing that, using food during sex, gotta be careful of Thrush".
"The ice cream wasn't for the sex, she just got hungry afterwards".
"What happened to her? Did she eat all your profits?"
"If the relationship had lasted another two weeks she probably would have. She ended it when she met a doctor, it turns out there's a hierarchy when it comes to men in white coats. Anyway, there hasn't been anyone since then".
Since I met Lucy, Lee thought. There was a direct negative correlation between his sex life and living with Lucy. The two things are inversely proportional, he thought, congratulating himself on having remembered something from Maths at school. He hadn't had sex once since Lucy had moved in to the flat. He'd had several offers, but he'd turned them down, making all manner of excuses to them and to himself. But the truth was, he just wasn't interested in anyone else. It was Lucy he wanted.
"So, what about you and Lucy? Are you telling me you two have never had sex with each other? Being so close and all".
"Yes I am telling you that. Of course we haven't".
"You've wanted to though right?"
Lee started to panic that Kate could read his mind.
"Kate, it's getting late, I'd better go. I'm getting really cold standing here".
"You're fault for turning me down. Just think you could be in a warm bed by now, with hot company, making even more heat".
"Goodnight Kate".
"Goodnight my lil Northern friend. My favourite English boy. It's been lovely".
She gave him a soft peck on the cheek then walked backwards a couple of paces, lifting her hand in a sort of half wave.
"Actually, Lee...can I see you again before I go back home? I'm going to meet a friend tomorrow morning but I'll be back by the afternoon. There's someone special I want you to meet".
"Who?"
"Wait and see. Come to the hotel, tomorrow afternoon, let's say 2 o'clock. I'll meet you in reception. No funny business I promise. There's only a certain number of times a woman can offer a man her body and be rejected before she gives up. I've reached my limit".
"Who do you want me to meet?"
"All will be revealed tomorrow".
"You can be so mysterious sometimes Kate".
"I prefer enigmatic. 'Night".
With that she ran up the steps to the hotel door, disappearing into the revolving doors and out of sight.
Lee headed slowly back towards the flat, finding himself wandering through the alley that led to the river path, taking a long way home to give himself some thinking time.
As usual, the river path was busy. He passed a couple on an evening stroll, hand in hand, a Lycra-clad man jogging, looking straight ahead then down at his smart watch, seemingly oblivious of his surroundings, a photographer with camera on tripod taking pictures of the beautifully illuminated city scape, a group of drunk teenagers who seemed to think throwing empty lager bottles into the Thames was the most entertaining thing anyone had ever done. They all seemed to have not a care in the world and right now Lee envied them.
His head was swimming with thoughts. What would Lucy think if she found out he'd kissed Kate, if she knew for a brief moment he'd kissed her back? Perhaps she wouldn't care. He was still reeling from Kate's words earlier too - 'it's her isn't it?'. Of course it was her, it was all about her. Did Lucy know that? Was it time to tell her? How would he tell her? What if he couldn't, or if he did and she rejected him? How would he cope if his heart got broken? Seeing as he couldn't imagine having sex with anyone apart from Lucy, if she turned him down would he ever have sex again? Then again, if he never dared to tell her how he felt presumably his self imposed celibacy would continue indefinitely anyway. Maybe he just needed to take a risk for a change, grow a pair. But then, what would happen if he and Lucy got together? What if he disappointed her? What if he wasn't good in bed anymore, what if he'd forgotten how to be? What if he ruined everything, let her down, proved he wasn't good enough for her? He thought about Kate's advice, about how he had to do everything he could to achieve his goals in life. Being with Lucy was his goal, spending the rest of his life with her, making her as happy as she made him. God, why had he even been tempted by Kate when he loved Lucy so much? Was it a good idea to go and see Kate again tomorrow? Maybe it would be better if he didn't go. Who was this mystery person she wanted him to meet? This was all so confusing and stressful.
"Look where you're bloody going you fuckin' idiot!"
Lee was shaken out of his thoughts then, as the man he'd just walked into shouted.
"Sorry, mate".
"You fuckin' would have been sorry if you made me drop my can of lager. You'd have been in the fuckin' river by now".
Lee ignored the response and walked on, picking up his pace, looking back a couple of times to check the angry man wasn't following him. Walking around London in a daydream was not a good idea, too many obstacles...