Is it strange that I feel my ascension into High Lord feels a little lackluster? That my afternoon was the very best of my life and also the worst? That the rebirth of the Silverhand paladin order would unite the kingdom and races and be the weapon that brings down the Burning Legion?

The Burning Legion were demonic enemies that have been invading our lands for the past few months, but temporarily stopped the fighting that was going on between the Horde and the Alliance. Well, most of it anyways.

I'm 22, young even for a human. In hindsight I should still be a child. I think my first entree from... jeeze... I was nine, so, 13 years ago? I explained how I survived the Undead Invasion. But I've lived off this fel power for a long time during a part of my life and I think that it was the reason why I aged prematurely. I'm about 5'6, blonde hair, glowing green eyes, and a millimeter gap in my two front teeth from sucking my thumb when I was a small child. My full name is Perfectia Dawnlight and with that I don't think I could tell you that I am exceptionally beautiful. Most of my kin have these round or almond shaped, doll like faces. However, my chin and face are kind of square. Some people think I'm starving because they can see these shades around my jawline that come down to each side of my chin. I'm also... heavier then most elves. At one point I was well over 200 lbs due to a depression I went through, but I've brought it down to about 170 but that's still heavy for a elf that are usually just over 100 for women and 150 for men.

I also had hip surgery about two years ago which is not very common. Usually wounds and even sometimes broken bones can be mended with magic but, because of the nature of the injury, I was bleeding internally, and they had to open me up and do things...

It's not something I really like talking about, better yet writing about...

But yes. I'm heavy and a little odd looking from the waist down compared to my blood elf kin. Sometimes they'll tell me in front of my face and sometimes behind my back, that I'm fat, but I think books about the journeys of great paladins are suppose to be inspiring, not bout how vain, conceited, and egotistical my people are.

Let's get this going on a positive note. A lot of orcs and some tauren tell me I look good. Undead Forsaken have various statements, but I don't really find any of them physically attractive. But lets get one thing straight, I'm single, but I know why I'm single. I think that's a important distinction to point out. In these times of war who could think about a meaningful relationship, and I'm not sure if I'm willing to settle with anyone ugly, obnoxious, or toxic. I think I would rather be alone. I'm single because I'm emotionally exhausting. I will say I'm kinda cute, but not cute enough for how emotionally exhausting I am. I guess I could wear more make up, learn how to walk in high heels. Maybe not read into every passive aggressive insult on my character.

Those are my options, but I don't think I'm going to do that. I guess I'll just hope another catastrophic invasion happens that wipes out 3/4 of the population and then I can focus on procreating on my back like a demonic brood-mother. Or I can just get a bunch of cats.

I managed to get my dad sober enough to tell me his side of the story and I must say it was extremely enlightening that at one point he wasn't just some old drunk. While I've been fighting the Burning Legions armies and tackling there garrisons I've been talking to people, some people tell me detailed descriptive stories. Some I just basically interviewed and I guess I've found other people's stories a bit inspiring, so I've decided I would take writing a lot more seriously. Make it part of my nightly routine.

So, I've been a citizen and soldier of the Horde since I was 14, but my Common speech, the language of the majority of the Alliance is still pretty rusty from the last time I spoke it, and even my Orcish, the language of the Horde, I've had some tendencies to roll my 'R's and pronounce my TH's and F's with a Z sound. Also it was extremely difficult to pronounce H's for the first time, seeing that Thalassian is my native language. But I usually drop the H's whenever I'm speaking any language. There was a time I spoke Common quite a bit and I think people found the accent endearing, but I will try to skip all the parts where people try to correct my speaking. Because these days, my tongue can't get pronunciation of Common right, and I can only understand words and sentences that are presence tense or singular. But admittedly a lot of things get lost in translation.

I didn't always want to become a paladin. I was born in Dawnstar Village where a lot of High Elf nobility lived because it was within walking distance of the Sunwell. The Sunwell was a foundation to all High Elf magic and within it's waters was where most High Elves took not only power, but nourishment that kept them from growing old. I think my mother must have wanted me to be a mage since she was a mage herself. After her work led her to become more distance from our home, I think she just wanted me to behave, but that was unlikely. My time as a child was privileged, pampering, and overindulgent. I had no brothers or sisters, but I also didn't know who my father was either. Slaves and servants tended to my needs but also my whims and desires, except for the attention of my mother or any mentions of who my father might be. In my whole life I've never told more then a handful of people about Dawnstar, or the noble house in which I grew up, or about my mother or grandfather.

People in my family generally didn't become paladins accept to impress other nobles in grand tourney arena's. I don't remember any member of my family ever mentioning the Light other then something to be thankful for for good fortunes. Even though my parents weren't around a lot, I had aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of us having blonde hair and the word 'dawn' somewhere in our last name.

I suppose as the newly appointed Highlord of the Silver Hand, most people would much rather carry on with their fantasies that both of my parents were religious Light followers from a long line of priest and paladins, and I began my studies the moment I learned how to talk.

There have been a few times where I have been introduced to another High Elf or Blood Elf and they had the word, 'dawn' in there name and I would ask them if they were from Dawnstar Village. Almost everyone I've met has always said no, and very few believe of my noble birth. I suppose it never really mattered because I couldn't have inherited a title of baron or count like most of my cousins because, I'm a bastard. Also, it doesn't really matter because Silvermoon isn't a kingdom anymore, since the Undead Invasion and the destruction of the Sunwell the High Elf kingdom was dismantled. There are still people from noble lines and even direct blood ties to the King of Silvermoon, King Anasterian Sunstrider, but they are mostly business owners, ship traders, and guild leaders. So a little to far in between to have any levels of political power.

I guess I don't tell people about my noble birth because I don't really like the idea of being a noble bastard to a defeated kingdom, but I do remember how glamorous it was. So many visitors, food, and entertainment. Nothing like it is now. As I remember the people that were born and lived there in Dawnstar Village, they never had much reason to leave and not come back. So I guess you might be wondering how royal bastard could end up as the leader of the Silver Hand?

Well, I'm not really sure of it myself, I didn't see the former Highlord Tirion Fordragon very much, if anything I barely knew him. I suppose if I wanted to see him I could have taken my dragon and flown to the Eastern Plaguelands and just waved to him. I imagine he would be busy training initiates in the way of the sword and the Light. After the fall of the Lich King his job seemed a little like he was getting ready for retirement. I would even call it peaceful in a since. I learned the way of the sword and the Light from the Blood Knight Paladin Order, not the Silver Hand, or Argent Dawn, or Argent Crusade. So I've never had the pleasure of working under him and the only words he's ever spoken to me directly was, "You can't go."

I'm speaking of Icecrown Citadel and the final campaign against the Lich King and at the time, this was one of the worst days of my life. You see, the Lich King, Arthas Menethil, was the man that invaded Silvermoon and corrupted our Sunwell. He was the reason why my kingdom was destroyed. I was eight years old at the time and as soon as I was strong enough to carry a sword I set out on my path of vengeance, retribution, and justice. For three years I sought out the culprits that had wronged my people and kingdom.

Illidan Stormrage was the first, but not before ending the life of his lesser minion Lady Vashj at 15 and while I didn't fight the former prince of Silvermoon Kael'Thas Sunstrider at the peak of his power... I found him later, bleeding and broken, begging for allegiance and hospice from the Burning Legion.

He still remembered me as "The Terror of the Sunwell." a nickname I was given when I was a little kid for harassing other kids and parents. It was sad to me to see how far the mighty had fallen, but he had enslaved me and my people for years, but he was slave himself, just looking for a better master. The thought sometimes crosses my mind if I showed him mercy that day. Silvermoon might still be a kingdom, but it felt like killing a dog covered in burn marks. If he didn't die there, he would have died later with a lot more suffering. It was quick, painless, but not easy.

I had fought long and hard to get to the culprits. The people that caused the fall of my people and so many countless lives and Tirion Fordragon, the leader I fought for since I came to Northrend, the continent Arthas was hiding. When we finally had him cornered like a rat, he just said no.

Without any reason or explanation, he just said, no. But in the end, with his dying breath, he gave the Ashbringer to me, and I'm sure why. If he had done this before he would still be alive.

I guess I thought the title and ceremony would feel similar, but my life hasn't really changed all that much. I guess on some level I was glad that Tirion Fordragon had died. When he was defeated by the Orc warlock Gul'Dan on the Broken Shore I was more concerned about the Ashbringer then I was the leader of the Argent Crusade. Having it has been extremely empowering. The damage I'm able to do with the Ashbringer has not only been extremely effective at dealing with the Legion minions, but also a lot of fun.

I guess that answers my question from before, how I became the Highlord? I thought I became a paladin for truth, justice, and to protect people. But as it turns out I'm a paladin because I'm a product of mential illness and abuse. I don't really blame the people I've killed because they were also products of mental illness and abuse. And now I'm greatly considering getting that cat.

I guess what's been bothering me is, now I have to take on more responsibility. Also, there's more members, well, races of the Alliance then there are races of the Horde, and that means having to treat them with some level of equality in both respect and opportunity. For better or for worst I still spend the same amount of time getting ready to wake up and go to bed. I've decided with all the books of the Light I've read I would write one for myself. I'll just try to make the most of this.

This book I'm writing in was my mothers, I had left it in Moonglade, before me and my dad were teleported to Tempest Keep. The druids had kept it in there library and gave it back to me when I came to Val'Sharah, they said, "A lot of powerful sorcerers have tried to get that book open, but nothing had seemed to work. After a while we started wondering where it came from, but then we remembered when you and your father wanted us to teleport you back home."

They sent us to Tempest Keep, it was nice of them to keep it for so long, but Tempest Keep was a living hell. Well they didn't send us directly to Tempest Keep we arrived in a place called Sylvanaar a Night Elf settlement in the Blade Edge Mountains nearby. But there were tensions that were starting with Blood Elves and Night Elves. Things were better there when I was compared to the treatment I was given in Tempest Keep but the idea of going back to a life of nobility was something I really wanted. We had no idea what we were getting into when Night Elf Sentinels escorted us to Kael'thas Sunstrider's garrison of soldiers. As alarming as the atmosphere was in Tempest Keep. The thunder, the cold purple stone and dirt, I just kept thinking, "At least I'll finally be with my people."

Little did I know that my noble birth wouldn't hold as much weight as I dreamed that it would. As when we finally met up with our people we were taken to the caves to work in the mines. Things were difficult to say the least. Not something I like remembering, better yet writing about...

There's a part of me that is just thinking, "Edit, edit, edit. How many of these sections are going have harsh aggressive eraser marks and lines through my pen texts."

So, I took back my book from Malfurion and I couldn't bring myself to thank them. I did open it up for them and showed him what was inside. A few journal entries when I was nine and a bunch of rune placement designs my mother had created when she was alive and as I made friends through my journeys on the Broken Isle I started asking about how they had gotten this far. It's been kind of interesting to be honest. The stories people tell.

I'm still a Blood Knight and with that comes a seeking of oneness between the senses the Blood Knight style is commonly referred to as the strongest of the Elven martial arts. Especially effective at disabling and destroying larger opponents. Its emphases on speed and angled strikes to target weak points in armor. But there's a flip side to it as well that would require one to use a blunt object or turn your sword upside down and beat someone with the butt of it. But this is a style for people that favor the use of a shield. Not really my forte regardless of what people say about my appearance. I find that the art provides a definitive tactical advantage, since it gives the practicer the ability to analyse an opponent's fighting style and retaliate accordingly. But I've found out that some added brute strength helps when you're cornered by a hungry beast or even an opponent that fights with the same style you do. Crossing swords does happen more often than not and some opponents are surprised when they find out that I can in fact over power them.

The shield style, that's a different story. The bases of the shield style are based off wrestling and without weapons in practicers hands, punching with a closed fist, finger bending, eye gouging, kicking at the opponent's chest or waist, and hair grabbing are among prohibited techniques. Also, especially effective at disabling and destroying larger opponents by using their own weight against them but in a confined space with a combination of gripping, pushing, thrusting, throwing, leg tripping, twist downs, and backwards body drops. Add a sword and shield and you have a seemingly small and frail looking elf that can easily topple and kill larger opponents all the while holding their ground, but I don't really like practicing it. The practice movements are stiff and far from graceful. I can overpower most female opponents I fight unless I break the rule by stepping out of bounds. With men things are just awkward when they put their hands in places they shouldn't.

I get this look of disgust and sympathy from blood elf males like they just found out I've been wearing a false leg or arm when they see what I look like under my armor. Women are more direct with the insults about how they feel sorry for my horse and statements like, "Oh, I thought she was wearing extra padding under her armor." So, I tend to stay away from the shield style.

So, as my first day as a Highlord I've felt a great kinsmen ship with the Sal'Dorei aka the Nightborne since I came to Suramar. They look a little like Night Elves but a few of them had been alive for thousands of years. Many of them were mindless monsters going from one mana source to another. I knew just what that felt like to see your fellow brothers and sisters' fall into completely unrecognizable forms. Even now as I hold the Ashbringer I feel myself drinking in a pool of light arcane magic from every single undead or demon that I slay. The Withered Sal'Dorei I did kill did not feed me as well as the undead or demons, but I knew that the missions I was given were of great importance. It gave me some level of peace that I was using the Ashbringer to fulfill my duties as Highlord and not just to give myself a fix of arcane energy.

Illidain Stormrage was a man I hated, no I still hate him. I know I shouldn't be one to judge based on the fact that I was born into privilege myself, but I hated the way he and his allies treated magicless high elves. To send me and my father away to work the mining fields with the demon taskmasters. I had magic, but I was younger than most of the high elves, I mean blood elves. If I had shown any other blood elf that I could use magic I might have been sent to one of Illdan's harems to please whomever need pleasing. When inside the Black Temple I truly saw what my fate could have been if me and my father hadn't escaped Tempest Keep. I'm so glad we made it out of there when we did. The thought of that monster being the savior of the universe was a hard pill to swallow. There is a naaru that wants to bring that monster back from the dead when there are so many heroes that could rightfully have that privilege. I think of Alexandros Morgraine, the one that could wield the Ashbringer greater than any other knight could or should be raised. The Ashbringer was meant for his hand, not mine, but I believe that a small part of his soul is still inside me. I know that is why I'm alive right now, but why can't the naaru see that Alexandros should be the one to destroy the Burning Legion not Illidain. If anything, let this new Lich King raise him back from the dead, a life as a Death Knight would suit him and a reasonable punishment for the crimes he committed against my people. My kin from Tempest Keep are still feeding off demonic energy even now and are still turning themselves into the Wretched at a faster rate. His debt is still heavy and the death he met from on top of the Black Temple was still too good for him, maybe this is a second chance for him to answer for his crimes, maybe even atonement. I shake off that idea because I knew Garrosh Hellscream pretty well, but I wish I hadn't listened to his trial… For what good it was the Celestial Council members, the leaders that oversaw his trial felt that Garrosh could change for the better and I believed that, but fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. If we do stop the Burning Crusade, and if I do get to pledge the Ashbringer into that corrupted titans' eye, Illidan and all his Demon Hunters are next.

The sword is still growing in power, but so am I, I pray to the Light that I may wield this blade half as well as Alexandros. Humans don't have to worry about a necessary consummation of magic, I do, and so do the Blood Knights that work under me. They are not wielding swords that are fulfilling in that hunger like I am, sometimes after a mission I come back to the barracks so full of light magic I would be drunk with power, but I found another weapon.

Weapon, I should use that term lightly, I found a hammer that is good for healing wounds. I've always used priest clubs and shaman shields when I needed to heal people on raids or infiltrations, but this hammer I've been using works somewhat well on curing wounds. It's ten times better than any combination of shields and one-handed weapons I've found before, but there is one slight problem. The Silver Hand, this hammer I found leaves me drained after a mission, I talked about how being away from the Ashbringer brought about my arcane withdraw, but I think I may be able to balance myself out by healing the wounded at Lights Hope. When I come back from my mission arcane power drunk I gave it my fellow Blood Knights. A taste of what the Ashbringer had given to me.

That's what I did today, just gave the overflowing fountain of light magic to the wounded Blood Knights and they rested without the pain of convulsions from whatever injuries they had received from their missions. I suppose that's why I'm able to write right now. Yesterday I started writing about the withdraw from being away from the Ashbringer for a whole night, but right now I'm feeling pretty normal and even though I got a lot of mana from the Withered Sal'Dorei I was able to give back the mana I was storing to my fellow Blood Knights. I lost the pages of what I experienced that night and maybe it's a good thing. I will say this though, that night gave me a lot of insight on the Emerald Nightmare.

Going into the forest couldn't hold a candle to the pain, agony, and disturbing images that came with arcane withdraw. I want to help these Sal'Dorei so badly, I know exactly what they are going through even though our addictions are not completely the same they are a lot alike, except they've been at it for thousands of years. Me I've only been alive for 22 years I've been aging like a human, eating like a human, and every once in a while I would take in arcane magic, but the things I saw in those old Sal'Dorei temples. I had no idea the elves could turn into things like that. I knew that our people had taken the forms of fish like people, but spiders? It was sad to me that maybe the Wretched could see a time when they would change into a form like that, and maybe I'm sailing on a boat headed to that direction. I hope that with all the help I'm trying to do with the Sal'Dorei if they see me slipping into that savage nature they will be able to bring me back down.