I don't own these characters; Disney/ABC does.
7: Great For All Ages
Regina sat in her bed, staring at her phone. It was the morning and Robin had texted her. Throughout the week, she had finally gotten back to him. She even spent a couple of days with him and Roland celebrating Miner's Day. It was not much. First, they did the carnival at the school for Roland, even though he had already done it with his mother. Yesterday, they had walked around Main Street during the annual art fair. He was not very interested, nor was Roland, and she could not enjoy it with both of them moping. We should meet up for breakfast. Regina could not help thinking it was such a stupid suggestion.
Regina hated meeting up for any meal really. She would do lunch since it was the middle of the day and people were usually out and about. But, breakfast and dinner, she liked to make those. She liked to cook. What did Robin not understand about that? She could not invite him over for a meal, not with Duckling there. Not to mention, she and Maleficent had their usual meeting today, but she would try something else. What if I made dinner for you at your place? Most of her partners would have jumped on that offer.
There was a moment before he replied. Wouldn't you rather go out? Or what about your place?
Regina rolled her eyes. He liked coming over to her house, but it was rare for her to be at his. He had an apartment and she could count on one hand the number of times she had been there with fingers left over. There was something unsettling about that, but she could not pin down what it was. The more she thought about it, the more turned off she was about seeing Robin. I'm actually busy today. I'll try to call you later.
And, he was never one to be bested, so she was not surprised by his response. Oh, I'm glad you said that. I think I meet with Marian today anyway. When in doubt, Roland's mother was always a good dodge for him, to make it seem like he did not have time for her.
In the past, this sort of response would have pissed her off, but at the moment she did not care. She was not in the mood to see Robin and possibly be upset with him over something or just bored in general. Hopefully, things with Maleficent and Duckling would go well and they might even spend the day together. That was something she could look forward to.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma flicked the bell on her collar and snickered as Regina grumbled behind her. The chime annoyed Regina, which was hilarious since it was her idea. Regina was in the kitchen, making breakfast and it smelled amazing as always. Emma had her head poked out of her space. She could not see Regina from her vantage point, but the bell sang out clear as day throughout the house.
"Could you hear this upstairs if I do it?" Emma plucked the bell again. She would love the bell even more if it reached that far and got on Regina's nerves. She would play with the bell so much more. "Maybe I should get a bigger one." She had her money from face painting. It would not be anywhere near enough for car parts, but definitely enough for an annoying bell.
Regina groaned. "Can you just put on the name one?" She had ordered a custom made collar with Emma's pet name on it after it was determined this collar was suitable. Emma preferred this one and she flicked it once more. Regina growled. "Why the hell did I buy you that thing?"
Emma snorted. "You claim I don't make noise when I move." She tried not to. She had learned to be silent and take up as little space as possible to avoid being thrown out. If she was out of the way, people would not notice her and maybe keep her. It had not worked yet. She had not given up the philosophy with Regina, even though she was a pet. There was almost no evidence of her in the house outside of her room and she tended to stay on the couch, not taking up space anywhere else. The bell was her exception.
"You don't, which is also annoying. Why do I keep you around again?" Regina scowled at the eggs in the pan.
"Because I'm cute and you love me." Emma laughed and blew Regina a kiss.
Regina's frown deepened. "We both know both of those things aren't true. I think I'm going to spit in your food."
Emma scoffed. "Jokes on you. That's one of my kinks."
"Is eating one of your kinks? Because I'm about to throw your food in the garbage." Regina slammed the pan against the stove.
Emma hopped up and trotted to the kitchen, but did not go inside of it. "No! Come on, Regina! I'm so hungry!" She wrapped her arms around her belly. She was not really hungry, not like she had known hunger, but she could eat and she would never turn down Regina's food.
Regina curled her lip, as if utterly disgusted, but she never once glanced at Emma to prove it. "You're always hungry. If you keep misbehaving, the food is going into the trash. You promised you were going to be good today."
Emma sighed. "I am being good. I'm always good." Not just with Regina, but in general, yet people always assumed the worst of her behavior.
"Tell that to my toaster," Regina replied.
Emma groaned and threw her hands up. "That wasn't my fault. Your toaster is complicated. Everything in your kitchen is freaking complicated."
"Which is why I tell you constantly to stay out of my kitchen."
Emma snorted. "How is it you told me to be good today, but you're allowed to be mean?"
Regina smirked at her and hitched an eyebrow up. It did things to Emma it had no business doing to her, like making her stomach flip. But, Regina had no business being so damn hot either.
"I'm in charge, so I get to do whatever I want. That's how this works," Regina stated with the absolute certainty of someone who was in charge… and who had never had a pet. She really doesn't get how this works.
From what Emma could gather, Regina liked being in charge. She seemed to get a little thrill from bossing Emma around and it just made Emma want to be difficult. She pushed back and it felt good. The best part, though, was regardless of Regina's threats and no matter what Emma did, Regina never actually hurt her or deprived her of anything. Like right now, once Regina said she was going to cook, Emma knew in less than an hour food would be in front of her, no matter what she did.
"Then, I get to be a naughty puppy then," Emma replied.
"Not if you want breakfast," Regina said.
Emma snorted. "You can't not feed me. That's abuse."
Regina stiffened. "It's only one meal."
"The most important meal of the day."
Regina rolled her eyes, but breakfast was served. A berry omelet, which Emma never knew was a thing until now, with buttered toast and spicy sausage patties. Emma sat at the table, waiting for her plate. The full plate, steaming and pretty, was eased in front of her with a glass of apple juice. Regina sat to her left, ready to eat as well.
"How come I don't have coffee with you?" Emma asked, not that she minded the apple juice. She did not need coffee. She was not even a big fan of coffee, but it was a good question to get on Regina's nerves.
"I have to assume it's not good to feed my very naughty pet coffee," Regina replied.
"First off, I am not naughty. I'm playful. You don't know the difference because you've never had a pet." Emma tilted her chin in the air.
Regina frowned. "I know that if you're this playful when Maleficent gets here, I'm locking you in your nest for the rest of the day."
Emma sobered for a moment, being reminded of what was meant to happen soon. "Are you sure you want her to see me? I don't mind keeping this a secret. I don't want to mess anything up for you." She did not want Regina to be judged for this. It seemed like it was working well for both then and Regina was good to her, so she did not want someone to make Regina feel bad over their relationship.
Regina cut into her omelet. "She's my dearest friend. I've already told her about you. Besides, she has to get used to this if we're going to continue to plan and build our business. We meet often, typically at each other's home. So, you better be good when she comes in. None of this 'playful' nonsense."
"Or I could stay in my nest. If you want." It would not be the first time someone wanted to pretend she did not exist.
Regina gave her a pointed look. "Or you could just be good while she is here. You shouldn't stay in your nest all day. You're already too much of a house cat."
Emma laughed. "Because you won't let me fix the car!" She jabbed her thumb toward the outside.
"It's still too cold. Do you want frostbite? I'm not trying to figure out how to keep the tip of your nose from falling off."
"Don't you have to take me to the doctor for medical care, anyway?"
"For routine checkups. You needing actual medical care sounds like my failure of being a good caretaker."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Your responsibility is very unattractive right now."
"Good. Let it stay that way, so you stay alive and I don't have to kill you."
Emma scoffed. "I'm too cute for you to kill."
"We can test that theory if you act out while Maleficent is here."
Emma smirked. Maybe she would test that theory. Regina was all bark and no bite. There had to be something she could do, so Regina showed some teeth. At least it would let her know this was not some fever dream.
-8-8-8-8-
Regina's stomach twisted as the time Maleficent usually arrived got closer. She forced Duckling to change her pajamas and Duckling had been in her nest ever since, sulking for whatever reason. Regina did not bother with her, knowing she could resurface once she realized Regina baked and she was very right. Duckling was on the couch as soon as she turned her back to some mini, coconut tea cakes she put on the coffee table.
Regina just checked to make sure Duckling was dressed appropriately. She had on yellow sweat pants and one of her hoodies with the hood up, showing off its orange duck beak. She turned on the television and laid down, feasting on tea cakes.
Regina did not say anything as she then sat down a pitcher of iced tea on a coaster. Duckling looked at her, but did not say anything. She might have nodded, as if approving of the fact that Regina was dressed for a meeting, but that could have also been Regina's imagination. Lastly, Regina put out a half-dozen of mini-apple tarts. Duckling popped up at those, eyes wide and wanting.
"Wait, are these tiny apple pies?" Duckling picked one up and marveled at it with a gaping mouth.
"Obviously. And, try not to eat all of them. They're Mal's favorite."
Duckling took a huge bite from the one in her hand, taking almost half of the tart into her mouth. She hummed. "Mine, too, now."
Regina could not help the scoff that escaped her. "Everything is your favorite."
Duckling shrugged and Regina sucked her teeth, even though a little light feeling flickered in her chest. That had a strange habit of happening when Duckling enjoyed something she made. Duckling finished off the mini-pie in two bites and then poured herself a tall glass of iced tea. Then, she laid back down on the couch. She seemed fine, no more being a brat.
Regina went to grab her binder on the cafe from her office. On her way downstairs, the door opened. Duckling popped up and turned to look at Regina like a startled bird. Regina shook her head.
"Mal has a key," Regina said.
"Oh." And Duckling was down again.
"Regina, what's this gaudy giant tricycle parked in your driveway?" Maleficent asked as she entered with her hands full, purse, folders, and binder of her own. She stepped in with the usual confidence and authority she tended to walk with. She was also dressed for business, a black suit and sharp matching hat.
"Hey!" Duckling was up again and glaring at Maleficent as if she had said something that was untrue.
"Oh, is it yours?" Maleficent turned to Duckling and sniffed. "That's unfortunate."
"Mal," Regina said as a warning.
Maleficent stepped over to her and kissed her cheeks as a greeting. "You know I don't mean anything by it." She then went to the living room, greeted by Duckling still staring her down. Maleficent winked at her. "Well, you are adorable." It might have been sarcastic.
Duckling scowled. "You're older than I thought you'd be."
"Duckling!" Regina gave her a sharp glower.
Duckling puffed out her cheeks. "Oh, but it's okay for her to insult my car?"
"It's not okay for either of you to behave this way when I haven't even introduced you yet," Regina pointed out.
"This is true. Please, introduce me to your quite yellow pet," Maleficent replied.
Regina frowned. "Duckling, this is Maleficent. Maleficent, this is Duckling. She'll be in the way while we work."
"Hey!" Duckling scowled. "I said I'd be good."
"Yes, and you're always good when you say you're going to be," Regina snapped.
Duckling had the nerve to blow a raspberry at her before turning her attention back to the television. Regina refused to stand for that and stepped over to Duckling, shooing her from her perch. Duckling poked her bottom lip out as she scurried to the end of the couch.
"Stop looking like that. We need the sofa," Regina said. It was where they held their meetings. She would not change that just because Duckling thought she owned the couch.
Duckling groaned, but moved to curl up in an armchair, grabbing another mini apple tart. Regina moved her iced tea for her. Duckling gave her a smile and then went back to pouting, like having to move was the worst thing ever. But, she was quiet for the most part, focused on her flashy movie, and that was good.
"So, I was hoping we could focus on the inside for now and figure out how we want the layout to look," Maleficent said as she flipped open pages to her binder. She also reached for a pie while Regina poured her a drink.
"Set up is fine. I also want to discuss equipment,'' Regina said.
"That's fine. We can just figure out inventory altogether. I think we can work it out since the place isn't that big and you don't want it to be a restaurant," Maleficent said.
"It's not big enough for that and I thought you didn't want to work in some giant, soulless restaurant."
Maleficent snorted. "Our restaurant would have plenty of soul. In fact, we would steal them. Two Witches and All Your Souls."
"Terrible name."
"We're doing something like that. It's happening."
Regina rolled her eyes. "Never. I refuse."
"Yet you have no counter suggestion."
"I just know we're not doing that."
Maleficent laughed, but they buckled down and got to work. It was all good for a while, but then a little chime rang out. Regina ignored it at first until she heard it again. She turned to Duckling, who plucked the bell of her collar. Regina glared at Duckling, who smirked and flicked the bell again. Why the hell did I get her this damn bell? She had no idea Duckling would be that annoying when she first agreed to be a pet.
"A collar with a bell?" Maleficent said. "Regina, I'm genuinely surprised you didn't get her tags with your name. Or maybe you got her chipped." She smirked.
"We're trying the collar out. She has one with her name on it. I'm also considering buying her one with her name and address, so people know who and where to return her to when she gets lost. Of course, if she keeps up with the damn bell, I might pretend to not have lost her if someone should return her." And Duckling had the nerve to tap the bell again.
"And yellow?" Maleficent arched an eyebrow. "Not black or red?"
"Yellow to go with her being a duckling," Regina said.
Maleficent nodded. "Okay. And you've obviously committed to this whole duckling thing."
"Well, she's my little ugly duckling," Regina replied, throwing a smirk Duckling's way. Duckling grunted and tried to glare at her, but a glare was only good when it was effective.
Maleficent snickered. "And you think my names are awful."
"They are. Duckling doesn't mind her name." Regina cut her eyes to Duckling, daring her to disagree.
Duckling shrugged. "I've been called worse."
"Worse than ugly duckling?" Maleficent leaned forward in a challenge.
"Much," Duckling replied. "I'll take it as a pet name. Along with this." She rang her bell once more.
Maleficent nodded and that seemed to be the end of things. Duckling turned her attention back to television and Maleficent turned back to their business plans. Regina was comfortable enough to leave them alone as she cleared the snacks and empty iced tea pitcher.
"I just want you to be aware that if you step out of line with Regina, I will destroy you," Maleficent said the second Regina's back was to them. She did not bother to change the volume of her voice, though.
"I think Regina will do that the second I mess up," Duckling replied, voice almost bored.
"Regina will, but it won't be as immediate as my wrath. But, you seem to make her happy, so it's fine for now."
Duckling's voice got lower. "It's nice to make her happy."
"She's a caretaker. Let her take care of you. She'll do so happily and you won't regret it."
Regina rolled her eyes, but at least they were getting along. And Maleficent seemed to approve, so this was not an outrageous decision. The knots in her guts untied themselves.
She made lunch for everyone, simple paninis, and they continued on with their day, not insulting each other. Maleficent even watched a movie with them. Eventually, Duckling slinked into her nest, but she had been good for the most part. I might have to give her a treat when Mal leaves. Maleficent smiled at Regina.
"I knew she was blonde," Maleficent said.
Regina laughed. "Shut up!"
"I can see why you took her in, but be careful, Regina. You know your heart is fragile."
"It's not like that." Duckling was just a pet and nothing more. And not even a great pet, as one day, she would go back into the big, wide world.
"Maybe not now, but you're taking care of her and she really is adorable. You know you'll grow fond of her as time goes by."
"She'll leave eventually, so I don't have to worry about that." The very thought scraped across her heart.
Maleficent laughed and took her leave. Regina cleaned up and then flopped down on the couch. The nest's door slid open and Duckling crawled back out. She laid down on the sofa, head in Regina's lap. Regina's hand automatically went to her hair.
"This was nice and I'm not leaving any time soon," Duckling said with a slight yawn.
Regina smiled and kissed the top of Duckling's head. "Good to know." She was quite content with their little setup. Having Maleficent's blessing was the icing on the cake.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma watched Regina pacing from the front door to the dining room. She was on the phone, dressed in her house clothes as they were supposed to be relaxing on the couch, having a lazy Sunday afternoon. This phone call changed all of that and Regina had been up and moving about for almost ten minutes. It did not sound like a happy conversation.
"I know it's been a while since we've been out, but I have a lot to do," Regina said and her face tensed. "We just had lunch, so I don't know why you're acting like you never see me." Her face was a little flush now. "I know it's been nearly a month since you were over. This is not the first time it's happened and you said you were busy as well."
Who was that on the phone? Obviously not Maleficent. Emma was not sure who else might be in Regina's life.
"Look, there's just a lot going on." Regina sighed. "No, I'm not trying to break up with you." Now, she groaned. "Of course I want to go out with you. Fine, we can have dinner tonight." Her face looked like she just agreed to be executed. "Yes, we can go out." She rolled her eyes.
Emma held in a snicker. Whoever that was on the phone was an absolute idiot to take Regina out rather than let her cook. Just watching her cook was a treat and then they would get to eat it! There was no way to lose with that and Regina loved cooking.
"See you at seven." Regina curled her lip and dropped the phone from her ear.
Emma scowled. Regina had a date. Right, Regina had a boyfriend. She did not talk about him much and he had not been around since Emma showed up. Regina came to the couch and fell down, just missing Emma. Emma dropped her head into Regina's lap.
"You okay?" Emma asked.
"I'm fine," Regina replied, tone sharp and her face tense.
"So… you were pacing…" Emma did not want to bother to point out how pinched Regina's expression was at the moment. Her forehead vein was all out. Emma could imagine it beating in time with her heartbeat.
"I was."
Emma scowled. "Don't be all coy. You know I heard. That your big, bad, boyfriend who swears it's impossible to get in the house because he knows what's doing?" What a fucking moron. There were about a dozen ways she could have gotten into Regina's house before she plugged the holes.
Regina curled her lip. "I suppose you'll tell me you're a good girl after admitting to eavesdropping."
Emma rolled her eyes. "If you don't wanna tell me about him, whatever, but let's not pretend I'm wrong for hearing you when I could've been outside in the damn yard and heard you."
"He wants to go out. We haven't really gone out in a couple of weeks."
"You said you had lunch."
"He doesn't count that as going out. He wants the whole dress up and dinner thing." Regina scowled and wrinkled her nose.
"You don't want that?" Or at least her face did not want that.
Regina's fingers danced through Emma's hair. "I'm more concerned with gathering prices for the things Mal and I need for the cafe rather than sitting across from him at the moment. Not to mention, he'll want to come over here, possibly stay over."
Emma frowned. "You think I'll be a bad girl in front of him?" She would not try to cause any trouble with Regina's relationship.
"That's not it."
"Then what?"
"You think because Maleficent reacted well to you that everyone I know would do the same?" Regina asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Guess I had hope." Of course, she could not see Regina's boyfriend reacting well to her having a human pet. Not to mention, he just seems like a tool, even without being her boyfriend. Okay, Emma might have a bit of a problem with the dude for not taking Regina seriously when she told him someone was breaking into the house, even if Emma was that someone. It was his duty to make Regina feel safe and secure and he failed. Failed and gaslit her. Tool.
Regina chuckled a bit. "How foolish of you."
Emma could not agree more. "Yeah. But, it's okay. I can hide in my nest while he's here. I've got everything I need in there. It has more space than my car. More games, too, so I'll actually be okay. I mean, it's just for the day, right?"
"He'll want to spend the night more than likely."
"Okay. I can stay in the nest until he leaves in the morning. My point is, I don't want to interrupt your life. I'm a pet. I shouldn't be a chore."
Regina laughed. "Now, you're the one who sounds like she never had a pet."
"The thing is, I don't want you to have to pause anything about yourself for me. I should be easy. This is a dream for me. I don't want my dream to be your nightmare. So, whenever you need me to, I can just be in my nest and I'll be just as happy as roaming the house."
Regina stared at her and Emma felt like she was missing something. The only problem was, she was not great at reading people emotionally, so she had no idea what she might be missing. And then, Regina caressed her head and scratched her scalp and it was impossible to process information beyond the sensation.
"I'll make you something special for dinner tonight before I leave," Regina said.
Emma smiled. "Making me something is special. I'm totally pampered." She stretched out in Regina's lap, like a lazy cat.
"You deserve it." Regina leaned down and kissed the top of Emma's head.
Emma reveled in the attention, even though she was certain it was how Regina would react if Emma was a puppy or kitten. But, right now, she was content to let Regina see her in that light. Regina took care of her and she could breathe for the first time in her life. She owed that all to Regina.
"Just don't have really loud sex until I get some headphones," Emma said, needing to lighten the moment before the heaviness caused her to say something that Regina would not, could not appreciate.
Regina laughed, throwing her head back, like this was the funniest thing she ever heard. Emma was not sure what that meant, but Regina seemed better once she was done laughing. I don't think I would ever want my girl to laugh if someone requested we not have loud sex, though. They sat there in silence for a while, Regina playing in her hair, but then dinner had to be made and Regina had to get ready for a date.
Emma watched Regina make dinner, enjoying the sight just seeing Regina have fun in the kitchen, and almost wanted to watch her get ready for her date. But, that was upstairs and Emma never went upstairs. Not to mention, part of her ached over the idea of Regina going out with someone. She ignored that and made herself some food — chicken tenders with French fries and she put them in a little bowl with paper, so it was like at a diner. There were leftover tea cakes, so she had dessert and she grabbed a bottle of apple juice, even though she should have grabbed something stronger.
Emma made her way to her nest. She had more than enough there to keep her entertained once she was done with her food. Beyond her own things, Regina continued to buy her "toys" for stimulation. Most of them were silly things, like fidget spinners, bubble poppers, finger skateboards, and legos. She never had legos before, so they sort of fascinated the kid in her, who never got a chance to be a kid. Yes, she played with the legos a lot.
The doorbell rang and Emma resisted the urge to poke her head out. She did not want to see what Regina looked like on a date. She already had inappropriate thoughts about Regina. She did not need to see the woman dressed to the nines or she would never have a thought that did not star Regina ever again.
Not to mention, she did not want to see what Regina's boyfriend looked like. He had to be some kind of Prince Charming to land Regina, even though she already knew that was not true. And then she heard his voice.
"Regina, you look lovely, but we need to get going if we want to make our reservation, so I hope you're ready." Of course he was British. Someone as classy as Regina had to have someone whose accent just screamed class. Oh, really, because Killian sounds like this and you just want to deck him whenever he opens his gross mouth. Not to mention, she did not think this dude's response to Regina's attire considering how hot Regina had to look.
She had to look now, though. Carefully, she eased the door open and tried to see the opening between the living room and the foyer. Unfortunately, it was hard to see and the front door was already open. There was a flash of blonde hair, but then she noticed the tail end of a little black dress and all curiosity about Regina's boyfriend went out of the window. Now, she was way more curious about what Regina was wearing. She did not come out of her nest for the rest of the night.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Emma accidentally makes life harder for Regina.