I don't own these characters; Disney/ABC does.
8: Fight Loneliness
Emma stared at the dark ceiling of her nest, unable to sleep for the first time since coming to live in Regina's home. She did not get Regina's relationship with Robin, but she was not one to judge. Regina had gone out with him earlier and he might as well have been holding Regina hostage. Emma did not get it, but again, she was not one to judge. She had too many messed up relationships to ever judge anyone else's relationship. It was just… she expected Regina to have some great romance, like Mary Margret and David. Or, at least someone to dote on her the way she doted on Emma. Robin was not that.
Honestly, Robin just was weird. Not as a person, as she did not know him well as a person, but as a boyfriend, he was odd. He seemed to come and go as he pleased, but he did not have a key to the house. Regina let him in whenever he showed up, so he was welcome, but Regina never seemed quite happy to see him.
He never really did anything at the house when he was there. Maybe she was coming to conclusions too soon, but it had been a few weeks since he first popped up and he mostly sat on the sofa, sometimes watching television, sometimes taking phone calls, but mostly talking to Regina about things she did not seem to care about. He also did not seem too interested in anything she might talk about, not that she talked much to him when he was around. She tried and he would say something that derailed the conversation before it even started. Just so weird.
And Regina never talked about him if he was not around, unless he did something to intrude on her peace at home. He did not seem like the type of boyfriend someone like Regina would have. He did not seem like much of a boyfriend point blank. But, again, Emma was not in a place to judge. You seemed to have done a lot of judging in this thought, though.
"It's just if Regina was my girlfriend…" Emma closed her mouth and rolled over in her bed. It was so damn comfortable for a chunk of memory foam.
Regina could never be her girlfriend. She had nothing to offer Regina. Everything she got for the past few weeks came from Regina, even the pajamas she had on, down to the fuzzy socks on her feet. Damn, these socks are nice. She had no business thinking of Regina as anything beyond her owner. She would need to step up her game before she could ever imagine someone like Regina being her girlfriend. I don't have any business thinking of her like that because I don't even deserve her as an owner. I'm really lucky to be where I am.
She had a chance to plan her next move and maybe get on the path to get a girlfriend, not Regina of course, but someone who did not fit her usual pattern where they would betray her. So, what is my next move? She was not sure what she should do next.
Well, she could not live in her car for the rest of her life, not that she had considered that. It was just she had never considered beyond that. It was rare for her to think ahead. She usually never had the time, but she had it now. She needed a job. Something that paid more than the tip jar for face painting. She should probably find something part time. She needed to be home when Regina was, so she could be on pet duty. That was important. I should probably talk to Ruby and M&M about getting work.
But, what kind of work could she get? She had never passed high school. She had a prison record. But, that could not be the end of things, right? Surely plenty of people got out of prison and led productive lives, even without a high school diploma, right? She might have to look that up.
Now, it felt impossible to sleep, so many thoughts fluttering through her brain. She needed to make an actual plan. She flung her covers off of her and got up. Planning needed midnight snacks and Regina kept her well supplied.
Shuffling to the kitchen, Emma opened the fridge and pulled out a fruit salad and then grabbed a cookie tin, full of coconut cookies. Balanced snack. Regina would be proud.
She popped a cookie in her mouth and marched back toward her nest, but was held up. She yelped as she stood before a bare-chested man in his boxers. Oh, no. The boyfriend. Why is he even here?
"Who the hell are you?" he demanded with a glare, hands up and ready to fight.
Emma had to think fast. Who would be appropriate to explain her being in Regina's house at midnight on a weekday? "I'm Regina's cousin, Emma." Really, that's the best you could do? You used to be a talented con artist! Of course, she was not sure about the "talented" part thanks to prison time.
"Her cousin?" He arched an eyebrow and looked her up and down without putting his hands down. At least she was dressed in pajamas, not that she ever wandered the house in inappropriate attire, as she would never want Regina to feel uncomfortable. Still, he curled his lip at Emma for some reason. "Regina never said anything about a cousin."
"Yeah, I just popped up, surprising her." Emma shrugged. Was it weird that he did not introduce himself? It seemed weird, but she was not an expert on hospitality. "And who the hell are you?" Okay, that was definitely not hospitable, but he was being a jerk.
He scowled. "Her boyfriend, Robin."
She smirked at him. "Funny, She never said anything about a boyfriend. Just her girlfriend, Mal." Dude, why? You didn't have to do that! Somehow, it felt like she did.
"They're only friends," he hissed.
She snickered and shrugged. "Okay. If you say so. Anyway, I'm gonna go back to bed." Shit, can't go back to my nest! It would look weird for her to be chilling in a storage space while claiming she was related to Regina, but all of the bedrooms were upstairs and she had never been up there without Regina. She might wander into Regina's office or library or closet and then look like an asshole.
"As am I, but I will talk to Regina about this in the morning." He turned around and stormed upstairs.
She pretended to climb the stairs, going slow. She was barely halfway up the stairs before she heard a door shut, practically slam even though Regina was probably asleep. She poked her head upstairs just to make sure he was gone, so she got a glimpse of upstairs for the first time in almost two months. It was as put together as she recalled.
With the coast clear, Emma went back to her nest. She looked around the room. I live in a closet, given to me by the kindness of Regina and it's the best place I've ever lived and I might have just messed something up for her. She listened for a moment, waiting to hear hard footsteps in the still of the night, sounds of Regina coming to kick her out. But, it did not happen. She was safe for now.
-8-8-8-8-
Regina startled awake the second the door shut, heart hammering in her chest, nerves remembering each and every time her mother entered her room in a fury. She clutched the blankets out of instinct and then saw Robin, which was enough to turn fright into annoyance. Not only did he wake her, but what if he woke Duckling?
"Is there a reason you're slamming my door in the middle of the damn night?" Regina asked through gritted teeth.
"Why is it your door?" he countered, as if that was a clever response as he crawled back into bed.
"Perhaps because it's my house. Or is that also a mystery?"
He grunted as he settled against the pillow. "It would do to be a bit more welcoming."
"How much more welcoming would you like it to be? Should I have a mint on your pillow? Do you want to have your friends over?" She would sooner burn the house to the ground than host his judgmental friends who all thought Marian was so much better than she was and how Robin needed to mend things with his wife. She once heard him insist "I'm trying" to them and had not been able to look at Little John, Robin's best friend, without wanting to set him on fire.
"Well, you have people over whenever you want."
"Again, it's my home."
"Yes, the fact that you're hiding someone here makes that perfectly clear."
Regina had to sit up to properly glare at him. "Excuse you? Hiding who?" There was no way in hell he meant Duckling, right? He sucked his teeth, as if he was done with her. She was far from done, though. "Hiding who?" she repeated, voice low and deliberate. He had better say the right thing or she would throw him out in his underwear, weather be damned.
"It's nothing."
"Obviously it isn't. Who do you believe I am hiding?"
He sucked her teeth. "Just a girl. I saw her downstairs. You hadn't mentioned you had anyone staying with you."
"Because it's my house and anyone I deem worthy can stay. Why should I have to run it by you?" It was not his house. Was that hard to understand?
"Oh, I don't know, common courtesy? Normal social decorum?"
"That's hilarious coming from you, considering you almost never use the common courtesy of asking me to stay here when you want to. You just make the decision because you're such a great man and somehow by virtue of that my house turns into yours when you step inside and therefore you can stay whenever you please."
He had the nerve to frown. "I didn't say that."
"No, but that's what you're acting like. This is my house and I can have who I want and don't want in it. This isn't up for debate." Her gaze dared him to say something else.
Robin grunted and turned over onto his side, showing her his back. If she had a sharp object nearby, he would think twice about sleeping next to her after pissing her off. Fuck, if he makes me feel this way and I know him, how must Duckling feel after running into him in the middle of the night while she was probably grabbing snacks? She did not hesitate to get up and go check on Duckling.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma settled on the floor, a cooking dangling from her mouth, and her phone in hand. She was trying to brainstorm on how to improve herself. She was not sure how long she sat there, but suddenly the door slid open. Emma blinked as Regina entered her nest for the first time since giving the space to her. Her face was tense and she sort of radiated fury. It sucked the air out of the room.
"What did Robin say to you?" Regina demanded.
Emma yelped and held her hands up in surrender. "I didn't tell him anything bad. I promise."
"That's not what I asked you. What did he say to you?" Regina's tone had a hint of annoyance. And, it was a weird question. Shouldn't she want to know what I said to him?
Emma's heart knocked against her ribs as if trying to break out of her chest. "He wanted to know who I was." Please, don't be the wrong answer. She felt like she was on the cusp of something here and she would lose it all if Regina kicked her out now.
"And what did you tell him?" Oddly enough, Regina was not scowling, but still she was upset and Emma did not like it.
"It's okay." Emma blew out a breath, hoping to calm her heart. It did nothing. "I said I was your cousin and I just popped up, which is why I'm here in the middle of the night stealing snacks." She motioned to her cookies and the empty bowl of fruit salad. I even ate the fruit first! I was good. "He thinks I went upstairs. He doesn't even know I'm in here."
Regina nodded. "You didn't owe him any of that, as I'm sure he didn't return the favor."
Emma was a little confused and her brain sputtered to a halt for a long moment. It seemed like Regina wanted her to be rude to Robin. Quite a flip from how she was expected to act with Maleficent. I don't get what she wants from me. She stared at Regina for a long, hard moment.
Regina was still tense. Her forehead vein popped and for once it was not hot. Regina was really bothered, but it seemed like it was because of Robin, not because of Emma. Okay, maybe just be straight up with her and it might help the situation. She could not act like she had been a complete saint when face to face with Robin. Emma took a deep breath.
"When he said you never mentioned me, I said you never mentioned him either and thought you were dating Maleficent," Emma said.
Regina laughed, bright and clear. It was like sweet music. It was magical. It put Emma at ease immediately and she breathed easy. Her heart went back to normal. She finally took in Regina completely and realized she was in a simple, black teddy. It barely came down to her thighs. So, Regina had rushed down here after whatever Robin probably said about running into Emma.
"I'm sure that ate him up," Regina said, shaking her head.
"So, I wasn't a bad girl?" Emma asked to be sure. The laugh was a really good sign, but she needed to hear it.
Regina caressed her cheek and Emma practically preened. Maybe she had a praise kink she did not know about, but Regina giving her a positive, encouraging touch was the best. She would not trade it for anything.
"You're my best girl, Duckling." Regina kissed her cheek.
Emma seriously had to hold in a giggle. "I'm sorry I left my nest." She ducked her head for a moment. "I didn't know he was over."
Regina shook her head. "It's fine. He invited himself to stay. I have better things to do than entertain him all night." Okay, that's weird.
Emma could feel her brow furrowed. "But, he's your boyfriend? He said so." Regina did not really refer to him as such now that she thought about it. Maybe he thought he was a boyfriend, but Regina might have other ideas and he did not seem to listen.
Regina glanced away for a long moment. "It's complicated." She said it more to the floor than to Emma.
Emma immediately thought of Killian. "I get it."
Regina blinked and then practically gawked at Emma. "You do?"
"Yeah." Emma took a breath. You can let her in. She's wanting to take care of you and she needs to know she's not alone. "Hell, maybe every relationship I've had. The first girl I loved lied to me and cost me my last chance at a family. First boyfriend left me to go to prison for him and last boyfriend… Well, let's just say I'd rather sleep in my car than next to him." She scowled at the thought of Killian, his words and actions so disrespectful that she nearly died in a storm rather than go back to him. That's growth, though, right? Most of the time, it felt like stupidity.
"Oh, Duckling." Regina cupped her face, stroking her cheek with one thumb. "You are such a good girl and you deserved better."
Emma's stomach lurched and her nerves buzzed. Only her friends ever told her that she deserved better and it was hard to believe them when the rest of the world seemed to insist Emma deserved shit. Somehow, Regina saying it was different. It took everything in Emma not to cry. "You do, too."
Regina smiled and her eyes glistened, like she might cry as well. There was a long moment of silence and the world narrowed to just Regina caressing her face. It took everything in her not to melt at the contact. What would she have to do to get this sort of treatment more often?
"Get some sleep, Duckling." Regina removed her hands and Emma mourned, crying on the inside. Regina kissed her forehead, as if she knew. "Stop eating cookies so late. You'll get nightmares."
"But, they're so good!" Emma grabbed the cookie tin and hugged it to her chest. "You should bake for a living." Not that Emma knew what Regina did for a living. It did not matter. There was not way she was better at her day job than she was with cooking.
"I'm trying. Now, go to sleep." Regina pointed to the bed.
Emma did not put up a fight since she was there to make Regina happy and right now not being a pain in the ass was the way to do that. So, she crawled into bed and pulled her covers over her. She was asleep right after she heard Regina close the door. When she woke up, Robin was already gone. Regina was back to normal and Emma was able to relax. They enjoyed breakfast together.
-8-8-8-8-
Regina was exhausted and the day was barely halfway done. She was on her way home from work. She needed to make dinner for Duckling and then meet Maleficent at the property to solidify their layout plans. But, before all of that, she needed to survive this phone call with Robin. It started out so frustrating that she did not trust herself to drive. She was still in the parking lot.
"Robin, you're not entitled to know everything about my life," Regina said with a sigh. She had hoped she was done with him for a while after he left early that morning a few days ago, but he was the gift that kept on giving in the worst way.
"It's not everything, but I just think it would be prudent for me to be aware of who is at your house," he replied. It had been days since his encounter with Duckling, but he could not let it go. He had called every day since then to discuss this same topic.
"Why? I don't know everyone who stays with you." And with him, sometimes that could be a fair amount of people as he often helped out friends who were down on their luck. "Not that I'm over your apartment enough to know who comes and goes whenever." He needed to understand that as well. He was nowhere near as open as she was with her home.
"That has nothing to do with this." He had the nerve to sound upset. And, of course, he did not get any of the hints she just hit him with.
"If I don't know everyone staying with you, why do you need to know everyone staying with me? I don't ask you about your guests."
"You also don't stay at my house, as you pointed out."
Regina rubbed the bridge of her nose. "That's not the argument you seem to think it is."
He barreled right through that. "And sometimes Roland stays with you. So, I should know who comes and goes freely from your house. What if I had Roland with me?"
"Then he would have met my cousin with you, not that he would've been with you as you wandered the house at night. It's not that serious. You just want to be upset and I don't have time for it," Regina replied.
"No, you just want to be dismissive."
"Goodbye, Robin." And she ended the call, proving his point to him anyway. But, she did not have time for him at the moment. In fact, she had not had time for him since this whole thing started. She could not believe the nerve of him. How dare he try to dictate what she did in her own home, especially since he did not live there! He was as much a guest as Duckling was. Actually, he was more of a guest than Duckling, so if anyone had a right to know when the other was there, it was Duckling knowing when Robin was there.
Regina shook her head, needing to rid herself of thoughts of Robin. She had other things to do. She made her way home to find Duckling curled up on the sofa. She petted Duckling's hair and kissed the top of her head.
"How was your day?" Regina asked as she headed straight for the kitchen.
"Good. Wanna watch this movie? I can start it over," Duckling replied.
"Maybe later. Remember, I'm working late. I just came to make you dinner."
"Oh, right. Your cafe or bakery." Duckling twisted her mouth up. "Which one is it?"
"Both really. I'll be baking fresh baked goods throughout the day as well as Mal offering up her own dishes. We'll see if we get a chance to do more if the business survives."
Duckling smacked her lips together. "That's cool. You cook really well."
Regina smiled. "I'm glad you think so. I hope others agree." No matter what Duckling was very good to her ego as far as cooking went.
"They will. You're really good. You're going to do so good."
Regina continued to smile and made dinner, a warmth settling throughout her body. Once dinner was done, she needed to get moving, barely having time to switch into a more comfortable pair of shoes. Duckling pouted as she left, but she had things to do. She would pay attention to Duckling when she got back.
Regina arrived at the cafe location, a quaint corner spot with just enough sidewalk where they might be able to put a couple of tables if they wanted to do so. There were people moving about the streets, but not paying her any mind. She stepped into the bare shop to find Maleficent scowling at her phone, tapping her toes against the hard tiled floor, which would probably have to come up. Her eyes shot up to meet Regina, who had to force down the urge to apologize. She met Mal's gaze head on. Maleficent's jaw tensed, but she ignored it.
"Well, let's get to work," Regina said as if everything was fine.
"We have an agreed meeting time," Mal replied, voice sharper than her grey, fitted suit.
"I told you that I'd be a little late."
"An hour is not a little." Maleficent had the nerve to wag her index finger.
Regina frowned. "Yes, well, Robin called and held me up. Plus, I had to make dinner for Duckling." Honestly, making dinner for Duckling was why she planned to be late, but Robin made it worse. That was ten minutes of her life she would never get back.
Maleficent curled her lip. "Duckling is a grown woman. She can make her own dinner."
Regina sucked her teeth. "Not in my kitchen." She would hack Duckling's fingers off with a dull knife if she even dared touch anything not already prepared in that kitchen.
Maleficent rolled her eyes. "How much harm could she do?"
"She nearly broke several appliances on the first day of her stay. The toaster had to be thrown out. She cannot touch anything in my kitchen, let alone turn something on. Now, let's just get to it." Regina motioned around the empty space with one hand.
"We could've gotten to it if someone was on time."
"I am a responsible pet owner whose pet needs dinner."
Maleficent rolled her eyes. "Your pet is a grown ass woman. She can fend for herself."
"That would defeat the purpose of her being a pet."
Maleficent scoffed. "You're being too literal." She groaned and folded her arms across her chest. "God, just fuck her and get it out of the way."
Regina scowled. "I know this is hard for you to fathom, but I don't want to fuck every woman I meet."
"No, only the blonde ones, right?" Maleficent had the nerve to look smug.
Regina gnashed her teeth. Yes, her tastes tended to run toward blonde women, but that did not mean she wanted every blonde woman she encountered. Yes, Duckling was gorgeous, but she did not think of Duckling sexually. Duckling was someone to be cared for, not lusted after.
"Let's just get to work," Regina said and she stepped over to the back wall where they would probably put the counter.
Maleficent scowled, but they proceeded with what needed to be done to move forward. The only problem was, this was Regina's first time being late, but definitely not her last.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma sat on the couch with her feet tucked under her, watching Regina pace in the kitchen. She was making dinner, but also on the phone. Maybe with Robin. It had been a couple of weeks since he had been around. Of course, Regina seemed more annoyed on the phone with him. Right now, she looked genuinely upset. It also seemed like she was being yelled at. She would never allow Robin to do that.
"I said I'll be there shortly," Regina hissed. She had to go out again. She and Maleficent were setting up their cafe layout. Emma disliked it as she spent most of her days without Regina.
Emma also did not like that Regina and Maleficent seemed to argue a lot more. Emma liked Maleficent and hated that the friendship seemed in a bad spot just as they were opening a business together, a business Regina was really excited about. But, sometimes, money could ruin the best of relationships.
"Mal, we have gone through this. I have to make dinner for Duckling," Regina growled.
Emma blinked. Duckling? They were arguing about her. But, I'm supposed to make things easy for Regina. She had not done anything to seem taxing, especially after Robin saw her. She had been on her best behavior, so how could she be the source of an argument?
Regina stomped her foot. "No, I'm not going overboard." There was a pause. "Of course I care about our cafe! How could you ever suggest otherwise?" Another pause. "Oh, I'm the only one between us who falls apart at a pretty face?"
What did that mean? Emma shook her head. No, it was not important. The important thing was Emma was somehow causing trouble between Regina and her very obvious best friend. I can't do that. I'm supposed to be easy.
"Look, Mal, I'll be there soon. No need to keep this up. I'm already doing it," Regina said and then she hung up. Emma did not like that one bit.
Emma marched to the kitchen entrance, but did not cross the threshold. "Um… what happened?"
"Nothing to worry yourself over," Regina replied.
Emma frowned. "It sounded like it was about me."
"It wasn't. I'm just late." Regina's voice was curt and usually Emma would not argue with her, but this was not something she could just let Regina cut her out of.
"Because of me." Emma tapped herself in the chest.
"Well, you have to eat." Regina motioned to the stove. Dinner smelled fucking amazing, too.
Emma arched an eyebrow. "Wait, you're late because you're making me food?"
"You have to eat."
"Well, yeah, but you don't have to cook every meal." How helpless does she think I am?!
Regina glared at her. "And how will you eat? You're not touching anything in my kitchen and you don't go outside."
Emma actually did go outside, but only when Regina was at work, trying to find parts for her car, even though she had not really looked at the car yet. That was neither here nor there, though. "I could use the microwave. You make a lot and I wouldn't mind eating leftovers. It tastes just as good as it does fresh." She knew that for a fact, considering she sometimes ate the leftovers as a midnight snack or just in between meals.
Regina gasped. "After being microwaved? Of course it doesn't!"
Emma winced. "Okay, but I eat it. You know that. You can pack it away just like you do with lunch."
Regina shook her head. "I am a responsible pet owner."
Emma laughed. "You are. It's not less responsible to leave me food to microwave. It's like when people have those automatic dog feeders." Or something like that. Maybe. This pet stuff is confusing sometimes.
Regina's face scrunched up. "Those exist?"
Emma laughed. "Yes, they exist. I know you think I can't take care of myself, but I'm not completely helpless."
"It's not about you being helpless. I'm a responsible pet owner."
"You're not less responsible if you make me dinner I can reheat. You're still amazing and you have a responsibility to your friend and business, too. I'll be fine."
Regina sighed. "But… won't you get lonely?" Her eyes searched Emma's face.
"Excuse me?" Is this actually about more than dinner?
"Part of good and responsible pet care is being there for you. If I'm never here, that's not fair to you."
Emma practically melted. Oh, wow. She wants to keep me company. "I'll be fine. This isn't forever, right?" Or so she hoped. She did not want to be in the house and Regina was never around. The very idea made her stomach hurt.
"Of course not."
Emma smiled as her heart leapt with joy. "Then, it's fine. I'm not going to think you care less about me if you have to work late because you already do way more for me than necessary. I know you care. Look at how much you put into making sure I eat." She pointed to the stove.
Regina's face got all wrinkly with doubt. "Are you sure?"
Emma gave an extra-peppy nod, specifically to pick Regina's spirits up. "Positive. You and Maleficent should work on your cafe. It's gonna be awesome." Emma truly believed that and she wanted Regina to throw her all into that. "Focus on that. I'll be fine and I'll be here when you're done. I keep telling you, Regina, I'm here to be easy. Don't make me hard."
"Oh, Duckling." Regina's face softened. "Thank you."
Emma scoffed. "You don't have to thank me. I'm getting fat from all your good food anyway. Leftovers might help save my muscle."
Regina rolled her eyes. "You're nothing but skin and bones as it is."
Emma laughed and just like that the crisis was averted. "I've put on quite a bit of weight since living here, thank you very much." This was quite true. It was good to be putting on weight because she knew she had been dangerously thin when Regina found her.
Emma focused back on the movie playing on television as Regina finished up the meal. Dinner was made and placed in front of Emma on the coffee table. Regina kissed the top of her head.
"You're a good girl, Duckling," Regina said.
Emma grinned, as pleased as she was whenever she heard that phrase. "Please, remember that when I break the microwave." It was not as complicated as the toaster, but it felt like every single thing in the kitchen required a college degree, a course in coding, and eight instruction manuals.
Regina sucked her teeth. "You better not or I'll bake you into a pie."
That made Emma laugh and Regina left in high spirits. With luck, she would return that way. And, if not, Emma would just have to pick her up again. I could do this forever.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Emma finally works on her car and Robin makes a comeback.