A/N: I'm really having fun with this one. Gaara and Naruto have always been a duo I enjoy writing/reading about. But anyway, let's get into it.

xXx

"Ok. So I get that you're upset."

"Mhm" Gaara responded mindlessly as he sent stray shots over the coffee shop counter.

"And I get the punch to the nose." Naruto tossed a grenade into the shops seating area, resulting in the flailing screams of flying bodies.

"Yup" Gaara continued to shoot, doing his best to ignore his friend's distractions, a flailing yell of distress as a round hit its mark.

"But... But did you have to fuckin knock the danish on the floor like that?! They're fucking expensive man." Naruto choked out through a mouth full of pastry.

"Seriously not cool-" Gaara snapped his attention toward the blonde.

"Naruto I swear to god if you bother me about baked goods again I will fucking murder you-"

"Watch out!" Naruto dove to his friend's aid, knocking him out of the way of an aggressor brandishing a short blade. Sending the blade back into the man's neck.

"HAH! BOOM BITCH! Come on bro you got to keep up, I'm up by three right now." Naruto continued to grin before his face fell as Gaara raised his revolver in Naruto's direction.

"Woah now, I know you're mad but wait!" Naruto raised his hands in a pleading motion before Gaara shot off a round anyway just right of his head.

BANG

"Two. You're up by two." The body of a would-be assailant dropped dead behind Naruto.

"GOD DAMNIT GAARA! You know, you're the reason I can't hear shit in the first place!" Naruto was currently on the ground clutching at his ear in pain from the sudden sound of close gunfire.

"Serves you right." Gaara holstered his gun under his flannel as he walked towards the rear of the shop once again. A flailing Naruto still on the ground.

"What?!" Naruto shouted.

'Gaara calm down... ignore him.'

"Gaara what'd you say-"

"Tenten you can come out now." Gaara interrupted, having stepped back into the shops storage area. On cue, the brunette appeared from the safety of the large gun locker, one of Gaara's pistols in hand.

"Mind telling me what that's all about?" Gaara ignored her question entirely in favor of one hand reaching for his gun and the other reaching past her into the locker, pulling out a set of keys.

"Here, take Naruto's truck and head home. If the police ask you what happened, say you ran away from work when shots rang out." Naruto burst into the room, one hand still covering his afflicted ear, and dried blood still painting his upper lip.

"You can't just give out MY car like th-"

" Thanks boss!" Tented swiftly kissed Gaara on the cheek and was out the back door before Naruto could continue his rant. Stopping only at the door for a moment. "You know you look kinda good when I dress you." With a wink, she was gone.

" You think she meant me-"

"You wish."

" I think I hate you..." Gaara steadily dismissed his statement as he brought a hand to his cheek. Wisely deciding to decipher that later, he turned his attention back to his complaining companion.

"That's not the issue here. Explain to me why Anbu ROOT are assaulting me in my own coffee shop."

"OUR coffee shop. And. Well..."

"Spill." Gaara was had closed the distance between the two at this point and had his arms crossed in an expecting manner.

"Kakashi convinced me. He called me up about a month ago with some contracting offers wanting me to post security on a few of his intelligence buildings."

"Hm. How much money did it take to "convince" you?"

"Uhh, about that."

'If he says for free. I may kill him.'

"I did it for free. But wait!" Naruto held up his hands to push back and advancing Gaara. " I did it because he's our mentor man, I felt like I owed it to him."

"So on what level of gratitude is it custom to almost be killed!?"

"That's the thing! We caught more than a few ROOT guys trying to break in. Whatever they were trying to find must be the reason for all of this."

Gaara took his hands off Naruto and began to casually pace the room.

"So you think this has something to do with him being elected? That doesn't make sense, Kakashi doesn't have that many enemies."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean someone doesn't want that kind of power for themselves." Naruto was serious for a change, his attention focused on the mystery at hand.

"Hm. We really need to get in touch with Shikamaru."

Almost in tandem, Naruto's phone began to ring.

"Oh no! We gonna rock down too electric avenue-"

"No seriously. That's the ringtone you chose as an "adult?"

"When you pay my phone bill you can start micromanaging me short stack." Nature grumbled.

"Naruto answer the phone!"

"Oh yeah. Hey, look!" He pulled out his phone so that the caller idea was visible for both of them.

"Speak of the devil. Put him on speaker phone." Naruto proceeded to do as he was told as he took a chair, beckoning Gaara to join him.

"Hey Shika... where ya been?"

"Listen Naruto, is Gaara near you?" The typically chill Nara sounded frantic over the phone, bearing an out of character sense of urgency.

"Here."

"Good. The capital building just got some important news. The poison used to kill Hokage Tsunade was placed in coffee coming from one of your Coffee shops."

"Meaning?" Gaara demeanor was impatient, more questions were arriving without any clear means or answers.

"Well, the issue is. The last person to give the Hokage her morning coffee was a tall blonde, with blue eyes."

"Hey asshole, are you saying I killed Tsunade?! She's like a mother to me."

"No, you twit... Troublesome." The duo noted the physical breath and pause he took before continuing.

"It was a woman. Ino. Ino Yamanaka. And I know her personally. You need to find her before ROOT finds you. I'm not sure of her intentions, but the footage shows it to be her."

"Ino? Never heard of her." Although Naruto had a habit of forgetting most people he met anyway.

"And if she's on camera whys it matter? That's proof right there!"

"The only "proof" is that a ditzy looking blonde brought her coffee from YOUR shop. Catch my drift? If someone wants to blame you two, it wouldn't be too hard. You're pretty closely linked to Tsunade as it is."

"Good point..." Naruto reluctantly agreed.

'Yamanaka?' Gaara pondered.

"Wait. Where'd you say you knew her from Shikamaru?"

"Childhood friend, but I haven't seen here in Konoha in months. She runs a club on the east side, just across the street from Ichiraku."

"Thanks. Shikamaru we got to go, Naruto come on." Gaara slammed the phone shut and hastily tugged Naruto towards the exit.

"Wait what's going on? Do you know her?"

"She's the hot blonde who hates coffee!"

"Huh?" Yet another common case of Naruto forgetting individuals he just met.

"Forget it, let's go."

"... Oh... well, I'm driving." Naruto followed suit as Gaara made his way to public parking.

xXx

The ride to East Side was filled with eventless scenery and conflicting musical interest.

"Why the hell are we listening to Manson anyway? I'm in a good mood. Not an "I hate my life and parents" kinda mood."

A hard rock melody could be heard blaring from the car on the beautiful midsummer day. The genre itself didn't match the scenery, but a certain redhead didn't seem to mind it too much.

"My car. My music."

Naruto and Gaara were currently rolling down the street in Gaara's mate black camero. The interior was all burgundy leather and there wasn't an item out of place in his exceptionally clean car.

" Yeah, whatever... emo queen." Naruto mumbled under his breath, deciding instead to take his frustration out on the road, doing 70 in a 35.

"You realize the entire police station is probably on patrol for us right? Mind slowing the fuck down?"

Speak of the damn devil and he will appear.

Sirens blared as the duo zoomed by a seemingly empty city street.

"Um... oops." Naruto dared not look to the right of him in fear of facing the redhead's wrath. "It's ok! I can just outrun them, no police can keep up with this monster."

"And risk the whole city knowing our location? No, just pull over."

'I'm suddenly very aware why I never let him drive anymore.'

"There." Gaara pointed to a nearby sales market, rows and rows of different food vendors were lined up against the curb. Squabbling restlessly to meet the demands of their many customers.

"Fine..." The car pulled to an abrupt stop on the curb of the street, clashing lightly with a nearby cabbage vendor. A bundle of fresh cabbages were sent rolling down the street as their owner ran after them.

'Or do anything for that matter.'

"MY CABBAGES!" The rather elderly looking man screamed in distress as Naruto sheepishly waved in apology as he backed the car up a considerable distance.

A cop strolled over to the car casually. One hand placed loosely on his hip holster, and the other brandishing a Konoha Police Department badge and ticket book. The tall brown haired man tapped on the car window lightly with an elbow.

"Evening gentlemen. Do you know why I pulled you over today?" The questioning officer didn't bother looking up at the boys from the traffic ticket he was jotting down.

"Look I'm sorry officer, I know I was speeding like an idiot but my mother just crashed- Hey wait a minute!"

'Is that?'

"IRUKA! I didn't know you were working today big bro?" The officer in question raised his scarred nose over the bridge of his half-written ticket.

"Oh, Damnit Naruto! You can't go speeding around like that you little shit!"

The man was for a better lack of words at this point, gripping Naruto's collar through the window.

Ironically enough Iruka had served as Naruto's guardian for most of his life until he became a contractor. Iruka himself joined the Leaf Police Department to support him and his adopted son as soon as he was of age. The two had grown up together after Naruto's parents passed away. However, the relationship resembled more that of brothers and the officer occasionally visited his coffee shop to harass his little brother and keep him in check. The two shared mutual parent figures in both Jariya, whom they both saw as a father figure, and the late Tsunade, whom they both of them ended up working for at some point in their career.

"And what is this I hear about a SHOOTING?! You're coming with me." Iruka started pulling the blonde through the still closed car, yanking him roughly through the open window.

"Iruka I'm a PROFESSIONAL killer! Stop treating me like a baby!" Iruka knew full well of Naruto's prior career but refused to treat him as anything other than an irresponsible kid brother.

"WERE. You WERE! Now bring your ass on already."

"Iruka... we don't have time for this." Gaara said.

The man paused only long enough to look over at the passenger side.

"Gaara if you don't have enough "time" to explain to me why my kid brother is killing people like a lunatic on a damn Monday afternoon then I'll have to kick your little ass too."

"HAH! Told you you're tiny!" Naruto fell into a fit of chuckles before being promptly dropped on his head on the concrete from his suspended position in the window.

"... ow..."

"Spill Gaara. Before I Call Temari Down here."

"Iruka. We're not 13 anymore."

"Well, I guarantee her backhand doesn't care what age you are. Spill."

*sigh*

"All you need to know is that we're in a bit of a tough situation. I need you to trust us explicitly, otherwise, me and Naruto might not be making it home anytime soon."

"And why should I trust you on this?"

"Little help?" Naruto groaned from below, his face planted firmly on the ground as his feet sat stuck in the window.

Gaara continued on anyway.

"Because I've always been the responsible one." Gaara motioned one hand at the blonde as if in comparison.

"Fair point." Iruka placed his ticket book in his back pocket and held his chin in thought.

"Do I want to know?"

"Trust me when I say you might kill him where he stands if you did."

"You'll report to me within the day. I'm sure you're aware of the ENTIRE city looking for info on your location."

Gaara gave a nod in response.

"Take care of Naruto for me Gaara." Iruka paused as he picked Naruto up off the ground and started walking back towards his squad car.

"And you're driving!" Iruka yelled back over his shoulder.

"Thanks, Iruka." Naruto waved, still dazed from his fall amongst today's other events.

"I'll see you Sunday for dinner!"

Iruka doubled back before he could make it halfway.

"Naruto..." The older man embraced him.

"Find whoever did this. And make them pay." Iruka was a man of the law, but family always came first. Naruto saw Tsunade as a mother figure, so it was natural that Iruka treated her with the same respect.

"Without a doubt."

"I'll tell them you were spotted on the West Side of town."

xXx

"No seriously. What's the plan?"

Naruto had been pestering Gaara for about an hour now in nonstop traffic. The two had been treated to a hot afternoon on the highway with no real form of entertainment. Having thrown out their cells as not to be tracked by the police.

"For the hundredth time. " Gaara picked at his nails. Occasionally slamming on the brake after their two or three feet of movement.

"Find her. Kill her. Done."

"..." Gaara could feel the look of obvious disappointment burning into the side of his skull.

"What?" There was no answer from the blonde.

"Naruto. WHAT?"

"You know what! We don't go killing people off of a hunch. We need a confession. Or at the very least some fucking proof!"

"Yeah. I know. I just don't know where to start."

"Well actually. I might have some thoughts on that."

Gaara raised an eyebrow at his comrade. The thinking typically was left to him without much question, but he'd never been one to shoot down a good idea.

"Sooo, I was thinking."

"Yeah?"

'This better be good.'

"That we go get some Ramen at Ichiraku."

"You must like being punched today-"

"AND. And. And! We scope out the joint. It's literally right across the street. Plus we know the owners. So it'd be ideal to hide out, right? I looked this place up before we tossed the phones. The "Lotus Bomb" it's some new club. We should wait until dark to make a move anyway."

It was on record that Naruto Uzamaki ate the more bowls of ramen per week at the shop than anyone in the ENTIRE CITY. So it wasn't entirely hard to see why hiding there would be out of the option. The Ichiraku staff treated him like royalty when he came through.

"How do I know you're not just hungry?"

'I know better than to think this was completely strategic.'

"So what if I am? I'm still high as a fucking kite, and I'm grieving. I deserve this." It was true, Naruto's eyes were still glazed over. Either from the herb or the tears he'd been fighting back since that morning, Gaara would never know.

'I guess we can rack this up as our best option.'

sigh*

"Soooo?"

"Fine."

"Yes!-"

"But you're buying."

xXx

A/N: What'd you think of Iruka? I've always wanted the chance to write about him.

For those already following: Some beta work had to be done, expect a fresh chapter in a week or so.

Kudos if you're old enough to know the cabbage man.