"You know, I thought we were good. The atmosphere was friendly, I got the feeling you were into me. And then you go and-"
"Damnit Gaara I said I was sorry!" Tenten was in a bit of a fit dealing with a less than enthusiastic Gaara.
"Then why in the FUCK did you nut tap me with a gun??"
"Because Naruto said too-"
"Naruto? NARUTO?!"
"Gaara shut the fuck up you crybaby." Naruto cried from his barricaded position.
The slight slur was obvious between the two. Between the copious amounts of alcohol and lack of proper rest between them, it was a wonder how they were even functioning at all.
"Fuck you Naruto, you can get shot next time!"
"Oh..." Naruto momentarily took his gaze off of the Anbu in the room, Ino, and everyone else as he stared open mouthed at Gaara. "Take. That. Back."
"No."
"Yes."
"No!"
"YES."
The group had entered their 15th minute of stand down with the Anbu. The infiltrators had yet to move since Ino had been taken hostage. Many men and woman were still cowering in fear and the only real noise going on was the banter between the irate duo.
Gaara took a deep breath as he wrangled back his serenity.
"Tenten." He said calmly.
"Yes, Gaara?"
"Have you noticed anything strange?"
"You mean, besides you freaking out like a spazz?" Tenten adjusted herself casually in Gaara's grip. One arm held her waist in place whilst the other held his gun to her head. It's not as if they would recognize her as their accomplice so in theory, this would keep them both safe for the time being.
"No, dear." He rested his head on her shoulder so that only she could hear him. "They haven't bothered evacuating the civilians yet."
"Yeah, and?"
"They want this to be a closed incident. No choppers, no snipers, and I still hear nighttime traffic outside."
"So what does that mean for us exactly?" Tenten continued to put on her best "damsel in distress" facade as she fidgeted halfheartedly under Gaara's grip.
"Plan B. It means we commence plan B." Gaara shot the group of blondes a long hard look.
'Hopefully, that idiot will at least notice me staring at him like this... and hopefully, this Ino girl won't notice I'm looking at her too.'
"Well do you plan on telling Naruto or are you just going to keep holding onto me like you miss me?" Tenten pushed further into him by the waist to prove her point.
'God help me.'
"Nope. He already knows."
"Funny, because it looks like you were just checking that Ino chick out instead of signaling to Naruto."
"What?! No, I wasn't."
'I definitely was, but how did she know that? More importantly, how does Naruto forget somebody who's that attractive.'
"Gaara don't lie to me. You're looking at her and I'm right here in front of you. Pig."
"Is this really the right time for this? I mean honestly-"
"Ugh! Fine, you're a terrible liar... so you're telling me, that him." Naruto was currently swaying as he argued with a disgruntled Ino. "The obnoxious drunk blonde that I work for, is already in the know? And I don't even know what's going on?!"
'Better than you thinking I'm checking out a possibly homicidal Barbie.'
"Tenten you have to understand we're like PB and j. I'm smooth and firm, he's loudly expressive and flexible. Perfect combo. Trust me, we're on the same page."
xXx
"So do you think he's thinking how much of an idiot you are for holding me and the Hyūga heiress as hostages?"
"... that has yet to be seen. And you make her sound like a princess or something?"
"She's literally worth more than one. You'd know that if you had any tactical presence whatsoever."
Gaara continued to stare daggers at Naruto from his hidden position a few feet away, taking refuge behind a turned over dining table. "Oh, would you look at that, that's the plan B look."
"There's no way you can tell that by a look." Ino said, dripping with a condescending undertone.
"That's where you're wrong blondy. Me and Gaara are kinda like PB and j ya know? I'm all creamy and sexy and he's like... clumpy? Anyway, I don't know where I was going with that. The point is, he knows everything I'm thinking, and I know everything he's thinking. Perfect combo."
"Is that right?"
"That's right babe."
"If you value your tongue, you'll use my name correctly.
'Oooohhhh scary.' Naruto wisely decided to keep his thoughts to himself.
"And who the hell calls peanut butter sexy?... freak."
"Obviously you don't look at peanut butter the way I do."
"If I die today. Remind me to haunt you in Hell Mr. Uzumaki."
"Awh you remember my name?! How sweet." The man's grin was genuine as he beamed down at the smaller blonde.
"I typically remember the names of people I'm going to kill."
"Oh? Imagine me, assassinated. If Kakashi could see me now-"
"Assassination would imply you were important."
"Everyone's important to someone, and I suggest you watch your choice of words." Naruto deadpanned. "So tell me. Who killed her?"
"It wasn't me... I'd never killed someone as impactful as her. Even I have my limits." Ino noticeably limped in his hold at the mention of the late Hokage. "Being a secretary in her office was my day job."
"You? A fucking secretary? Cut the shit. Who are you?"
"She gave me my first contract, about 2 years ago. Lately, she's been having me snuff out people in here political circle as of late."
'So she does "claim" to be an assassin.'
"Why on Earth would she do that?" He asked more to himself than anything.
"She wouldn't tell me. But I think it might have gotten her killed."
"Bullshit. Grandma told me about every bitch and gripe in her day to day. I'm pretty sure she'd mention a bossy blonde with an attitude problem-"
"There's a picture of you on her desk... you, her and Jariya." Naruto could feel her tremble a little as she continued.
'Is she crying?'
"She talked about you every day, she would always say son and never Naruto... I just didn't know." She paused a minute to wipe away a stray tear.
'Maybe she didn't kill her?'
"Didn't know what?" He'd hug her if it wouldn't give her position as a hostage away so easily.
"I didn't know the man she took so much pride in would be such a fucking idiot!"
'Or maybe she's a complete bitch. It was a 50/50 chance I suppose.'
"Are you always this charming? Or am I special?"
"Eat me."
"Only if you promise to call me the next day." The laugh Naruto gave made the Anbu shift uncomfortably as they still unsurely aimed their guns at the two.
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Oh, believe me, my ego's got to be through the roof for this line of work. So tell me, how do I know your telling the truth? Convince me that you actually are who you say you are." Rather than continue stalling Naruto got straight to the point. "Momma didn't raise a fool."
"How?" Ino was fed up, but even she could see that Naruto's stubborn attitude couldn't be ignored.
"Tell me something only Tsunade knows about me."
"You're serious?"
"Does the gun to your head not portray seriousness??"
"You're still scared of your older brother. Iruka I believe is his name."
"He's a cop, and his voice can literally shatter glass. So who isn't? Next."
"Um. You apparently have a thing for bossy chicks, Tsunade said you brought some hot headed pink haired girl to Sunday dinner. Completely emasculated you every chance she got."
'Low blow...'
"My Facebook is public knowledge. Besides, if that were true I'd be all over you wouldn't I?"
"You are, you idiot-"
"Next!"
Ino took a deep breath as she tried to ignore the volume of the man's voice and the harsh stench of alcohol that oppressed her nostrils when he spoke.
"That necklace you're wearing. The one you're always wearing, is the most precious thing she's ever given you."
Naruto, in fact, did receive a small crystal blue pendant some birthdays ago from Tsunade. A gift that had been passed to her and something that she wanted Naruto to have now that he was a man. He's worn it every day for 3 years without fail.
'Gaara doesn't even know I still wear it..'
"How'd you know that?"
"I'm telling the truth." Ino's conviction was clear as her voice was firm.
"Fine. You just earned yourself a temporary spot on the team Miss Yamanaka." Naruto gave her a congratulatory squeeze before looking over to Gaara, sending him a quick wink.
"Misses Yamanaka, actually." Naruto's smile dropped a little at this.
"Lucky guy-"
"He can go to Hell." Her fist balled into a knuckle white grip, and he could see the clench of her jaw as she spoke. "Straight. To. Hell."
"Oh... well I guess we'll meet him there in about 20 seconds."
Ino chanced a look at the man as she turned her head in question. "What the hell do you mean?"
"We're taking a trip!"
Naruto let go of his tight grasp on Ino, instead placing a loose arm around her neck while swiftly bending down to throw a still unconscious Hinata over his shoulder. Both Naruto and Gaara slowly shifted back towards the wall behind them.
"You see gentlemen." Naruto projected loudly to the men surrounding them. "You've made a vital mistake."
Gaara spoke as they approached the wall.
"You fucked up our shop, disrespected us in our own establishment, SHOT me and what's worse? You have me out in a club, with so many... people."
"Oh Gaara, don't be so dramatic..." Tenten muttered under her breath.
"Don't complain, this is the closest you're getting to a slow dance out of me." He whispered, pulling her carefully along with him.
Naruto reached the same spot not too long after. "You scared Hinata, caused my girlfriend dump me-"
"Probably your own fault." Ino interjected.
"You got me stuck with this uppity brat."
"Hey!" Ino barked.
"AND, to top it off, I fucking hate Mondays. So in short, you goofed. You really fucking goofed."
"My blonde friend and I will be leaving with these lovely hostages now. So welcome to plan B everybody. And B stands for-"
"Boom, bitch." Naruto let out a cackle as he gave a snarky smirk to the force in front of him.
The majority of the floor in front of them suddenly gave way as a large explosion crumbled the marble into pebbles. Dropping about ten feet into a full tunnel. All available light in the building went out simultaneously as the sprinklers soaked everyone in the room. Panic ensued as the crowded clubs members began to scatter in every direction, drowning the Anbu in a sea of bodies. Screams and chaos took over as no one could really see the cause of the sudden destruction.
Naruto smirked as he released his hold on Ino. Both Gaara and Naruto then gestured toward the gaping hole."Ladies first."
xXx
A/N: you can stop voting now. I've decided NaruIno, GaaTen. With maybe a little bit of GaaIno. (I reserve the right to change the end game) Thanks for all the reviews/comments. I was surprised by the support behind it. They're greatly appreciated and honestly keep the story going a good bit faster.
Reviews: The votes are important but thanks for those who realize this isn't really a romance. It's a nice factor, but it's not exactly the main focus. The relationship between Naruto and Gaara is more important as well as the adventure aspect. The constructive criticism some of you gave was pretty dope and hopefully I can get more of that.
Thanks all. Peace- Sober T