I'm BACK. Here's something to chew on ladies and gents. Fair warning: definitely strayed from the humor with this chapter. Oops
xXx
Eight years ago...
"To be successful in this line of work boys, you must be strong. To be strong you must train, and to train you must first be able to learn. This class is about discipline. I can't turn you into over night Einstein's, but I sure as hell can pull some character and self control out of you." A tall silver haired man paved a path back and forth across a trimmed lawn, book in hand as he spoke absentmindedly to the fields only other two occupants.
"Umm, Kakashi-Sensei?" Asked a nervous voice.
"Yes Naruto, you have a question?"
"Yeah... What do scorpions have to do with learning?"
A sixteen year old Naruto and Gaara currently occupied the planking position. Both forearms on the ground and toes barely supporting the rest of their weight as they struggled to stay above a strategically placed sandbox filled edge to edge with rather large black scorpions. The big ones weren't inherently life threatening or aggressive, but Kakashi made sure to assure them that falling on them so suddenly wouldn't be in their best interest. The man stated that he would ask them some questions. The more they got right, the less time they had to plank above the creepy crawlers. The mere idea of a challenge had Naruto as arrogant as ever and Gaara was stoned faced as usual. A little endurance based exercise never hurt anyone right?
Or that's how they felt until Kakashi kept adding 25lb sand bags to their backs.
"Ah, good question! Next question." It was minute six, 50lbs later, and the training had just properly begun.
Kakashi snapped his questionable reading material shut and squatted low to face the eyes of his disgruntled students. "What is the effective range of the 9mm handgun?"
"O-one Hundred meters." Gaara spit out.
"Very good." Kakashi wore a black mask that hid his mouth and a black beanie that hid his left eye. Effectively making his would be smile, just a lightened expression of his right eye. A eye whose gaze shifted to the Blonde on his right. "Naruto, What is the most effective defense in battle?"
"Um." The blonde fell silent as he dug deep for an answer. He could fell his abdomen start to dip dangerously close to the squirming devils in the sand beneath him. Looking to his right he could see the growing fatigue on Gaara's face as well and a hard look that said. "Don't fuck this up."
"Is it effective tactics and strategy planning?" Naruto had been studying his best, he really had. But the empathetic sigh from his teacher made him sweat drop with regret of his answer.
"No quite. It's fire superiority."
"God damnit!" Naruto groaned in disappointment as his core tightened from the excess attention.
"Did you not see this face?!" Gaara yelled at the blonde, scrunching his nose in irritation. "It said not to fuck it up!"
"Well then maybe you should've mimed me some answers you brow-less asshole-"
"Listen up!" Kakashi interjected. "I'm going to tell you boys something that will, hopefully, stick with you for the rest of your life." Kakashi ventured over to a pile of pre-filled sand bags. Walking back with one for each of them. "You can either be smart." He plopped one unceremoniously on each of their backs.
"AGhH!" Came a scream in unison as both boys abdomens aggravates the nearest resting scorpions. Sharp jabs scrapping at their stomachs that refused to fall all the way to the sand.
"Or. You can be strong. And I guarantee if you keep messing up like this?" Kakashi gave a swift kick to Gaara's midsection to "motivate" him from sinking any further. "Then I promise you'll be plenty strong by the time I'm done with you."
xXx
Naruto shuddered at the thought of their now detained Sensei.
'Stupid old man... I'm built for this shit.'
But was he? An unknown man had just gotten the drop on them with relative ease and he couldn't seem to shake the feeling of vulnerability. Matched with a deep feeling in the pit of his gut.
Failure.
"Check the glove compartment, I got a surprise for you two." Naruto momentarily cleared his thoughts and did as he was told. Quickly checking the little compartment in Shikamaru's car. "There should be an ear piece for the both of you, go ahead and pop em in."
Naruto tucked one In Gaara's ear since he was currently slicing through rush hour traffic, before putting in his own.
"Once they're in, give yourself a big yawn and they'll activate."Both men yawned on cue and immediately heard faint static as Shikamaru's voice started to focus in.
"Fox, Hound, how am I reading?"
"We read you loud and clear." Both replied.
"Perfect. Switching to code names over communications from now on. I'm punching a address into your GPS. The girls have been at the Yamanaka residence for an hour now, you should go check it out."
"You got it Stag." Gaara replied. This time curving into traffic more naturally to avoid attention amongst every one else's morning commute. "Why am I the "Hound" anyway? Kiba's the damn man-mutt..." Gaara grumbled under his breath.
"Tanuki. Racoon dog. Hound?" Naruto raised both hands unenthusiastically as if comparing the three. "Same difference."
At the thought of being called Fox, Naruto's thoughts once again drifted to his own strength. Fox's were inherently sneaky, independent, and cunning. Everything he found himself not to be. Looking at the challenge before him he hypothesized that he just might need all of those traits, and for the first time in years he felt unprepared.
"What if I'm not strong enough..." He muttered to himself. Daunting on that feeling once more.
"What was that?" Gaara was too caught up in his driving to keep track of the man's ramblings.
"You think they're ok?" Naruto asked without really looking at Gaara. His attention was placed on passing traffic in the rear view mirror, his mind a jumble of thoughts.
"No. No I don't." Gaara answered, putting his cellphone down on the dash. He'd called Tenten three times with no answer.
xXx
At the Yamanaka household…
"Daddy?"
"Ino? Ino it's ok, you hear me? It's ok.." Ino dropped to two knees at the sight in front of her. An equally shocked Tenten with arms around her shoulders, doing her best to avert the blondes line of sight.
Inochi Yamanaka lay in a pool of blood in Ino's child hood home. His throat bearing a large gash from ear to ear and his eyes plastered open. Shock on his face as now limp hands grasped at his neck. The man was surrounded by a black diagram on the white marble floor. A black pentagon symbol neither of the girls had ever seen before.
The room was so quiet you could hear a tear hit the ground.
"Hello ladies." A raspy voice grumbled from the corner of the room. A dark-silver haired man, bare chested and crimson smeared, approached. A pale cheek glistening with the spray of rustic blood splattered. "You're a little earlier than I expected but that's alright. I was just finishing up."
"You." Ino's eyes still streamed with tears. But her sobs of pain replaced themselves with a deepened growl in her voice as she bit out her words carefully. "Did. You." She paused to take a breath and wipe away the tears that threatened to choke her up as she spoke.
"Did you do this?"
"Of course you dumb bitch. Do you think this mess is fucking margarita mix?!" The man held a barbaric scythe in his hands, swinging it back and forth for show. If the rust of the weapon indicated anything, it was that it'd been used many a time before. "That old goat made a fucking mess everywhere. Or did that fly over your pretty little blonde head-"
The strange man didn't get to say much else, save a few desperate gurgles as the blood in his throat filled over. Creeping at the border of his lips as it overflowed in a rush. Ino lunged the small "decorative" chopsticks that used to hold her hair in place through the soft flesh of the man's throat. A sharp spear tip reaching out the other side as she screamed in anger and infuriating grief.
"AGHHH!" She continued to yell long after the man's body hit the ground and his blood sprayed her face.
She couldn't recall much beyond the soft arms that cradled her shivering form. A faint voice of reassurance talked down her still stabbing hand. Hands pulled her head into a cradled hug. But none of it would be enough to bring her father back, and that could only make her scream harder.
xXx
An hour later…
"Tenten come with me. We'll get you cleaned up. Naruto can you take care of Ino. And Bug, thanks for being here on such... unfortunate circumstances." Gaara had been busy giving out orders to the people before him. When he and Naruto had arrived they'd run into quite the scene. A living room painted in blood, but no signs of continued distress. The two girls holding each other in grief at the death of whom he assumed was Inochi Yamanaka and the body of the poor bastard who decided to stick around after killing him.
Naruto and Gaara has since cased the area and deemed it safe for the time being. Finding only a card in the man's front jean pocket, a swirl of red clouds on a white background and nothing else.
"A calling card you think?" Naruto asked and Gaara nodded in reply.
"That lunatic said he was coming after us… I just didn't think it'd be this fast. Keep a look out for anything else that might give us a clue as to who these guys are."
The next logical step was calling in an associate of there's by the name of Shino. Or "Bug" as they called him in the business. A master in all things cleanliness when it came to dead bodies and evidence. Within ten minutes there was know sign of a double murder and surprisingly no push back from Ino as strange men ushered her fathers dead body away.
'It must be hard, but deep down she must know we can't bury him right now.' Naruto thought.
"Thanks for your help Shino." Gaara slipped the man a wad of bills.
"It's my pleasure as always." If Gaara hadn't been the one to call him, he'd never known who was under the hood. From what he could tell Shino was a rather pale man… and that was it. He and his gang always wore darker hooded clothing and accompanying sunglasses, even on the darkest of nights. They remained disguised and most importantly, discreet. With a nod and a bow,the hooded man and his crew of four were gone in mere seconds. All remnants of any crime gone from the Yamanaka house.
Gaara yawned and activated his radio device.
"Come In Stag."
He heard a slight crackle and a yawn on the other end before he got a reply.
"Send it for Stag." Again, a dreary yawn followed.
"You need to yawn on that end too? Seems like a bit of a creation flaw. Don't you think?"
"Nah that's just the sound of you waking me up from a pretty good nap."
"…" Gaara held in a sigh but decided against questioning the man about his mid-day sleeping habits.
"I need you to run a search on guns for hire. Operating under the symbol of a red cloud." The man flipped the card back and forth in his hand and found nothing else distinguishable about the card.
"A cloud huh? You got it. Give me a few hours and I'll get back to you. Stag out." The line immediately went dead.
"And you." He picked a rather disturbed looking Tenten of the ground by the arm. "You're coming with me." His tone was gentle but he could tell she more or less wasn't paying attention to him.
"Gaara. I-I've… I've never seen something like that." Blood was smeared all over her hands from keeping Ino from continuing her vengeful assault on the strangers corpse. Salt crusted streams down her down her cheeks, brown eyes were wide with shock and she couldn't seem to keep the tears from flowing. She grabbed on to his shirt and didn't let go.
"It's going to be ok Tenten…" Gaara found himself unsure for the first time in what felt like ages.
"I can take care of myself." Gaara heard over his shoulder, and wasn't surprised at the statement. Naruto had offered a Ino a hand but she simply waved him off. Her tears were gone and instead replaced by a certain fire. He was surprised at her hasty retreat up the stairs. He looked over to the other blonde but he was already on it.
Naruto could feel it again. The sight of that girl in so much distress brought back that feeling of failure in the pit of his stomach.
"Hey wait up Ino!" Naruto hurried up after her to what he assumed was her room and surprisingly wasn't met with a slamming door. She'd thrown open her rather large walk in closet and seemed to be looking for something specific. She noticed the man walk in but only spared him a few curt words.
"Sit. And don't touch anything. Understand?"
Naruto nodded and took a seat in on a rather frilly looking blue stool next to her dresser. He tried not to stare much as he assumed her emotions were probably racing a mile a minute, trying to process what happened barely an hour ago. So instead he took in the sights of her rather large room.
The same lavender shade of purple seemed to be everywhere, the walls, the bed spread and even the small carpet leading into the bathroom. The room was covered in pictures of her, her father, and a beautiful blonde woman he could only assume to be her mother.The next thing he noticed was the multitude of trophies and awards. Sports, public speaking, and of course-
"Cheerleading?" Naruto wasn't exactly amazed by his discovery but he couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"What the hell are you laughing at?" A rather agitated voice called from the closet.
Agitation sounded better than grief, so he decided to go with it.
'Maybe I can get her mind off things.'
"Nothing. I'm just not surprised the Barbie did cheerleading." He managed to hold back a snicker with his hand.
"Does, jack ass. I'm a three time state champ." A pause. "And I still coach in my free time."
"Haha of course. I should've known."
"Well what the hell did you do in school?" Ino poked her head around the corner in question. Her once done up hair now a river of messy platinum.
"Art." Naruto was surprised at his lack of hesitation. But having only having completed highschool (a year early at that) he could honestly say it was his favorite subject.
Ino scoffed at the very idea. "You definitely don't strike me as an artist."
"I'm not. The prettiest girls were always in the art classes and I just liked looking at all the cool stuff people could make." Was Naruto's reply. "Truth is I can probably make a half decent stick figure." Naruto's face lightened when he heard a small laugh come from the girl.
'Progress.' He thought.
"And here I thought you might've had a redeeming quality… oh well." She said sarcastically.
'I just met a guy who blows up shit in the name of "art". I wouldn't say redeeming is the right word.'
"Laughing at someone isn't the nicest thing princess. So what else were you good at?"
Ino stiffened at the question.
'How do I tell him this without coming off as a complete brat?'
"Everything. Class, music, sports. I was good at everything." Ino stated as humbly as possible.
'Why do I care what he thinks anyway? He's just another boy, nothing more.'
"So then what's a beautiful, multi-talented girl like yourself doing killing people?"
"W-what?" Ino paused the tugging of her shirt to make sure she heard him correctly.
"Well I mean you just seem to have so many options. I just wasn't sure why you went this route."
"Perhaps You'd be surprised to know woman these days can pick whatever profession they want without being shamed for it." They snide remark was halfhearted, but pulled a laugh from the man none the less.
"I don't think professional killers really fall under that category, but whatever floats your boat."
Naruto was content with the following silence. But Ino seemed to feel the need to explain herself.
"Daddy... Daddy wasn't a nice man, and because of it he kinda made a lot of enemies.. He knew it, I knew it, Momma knew it..." Naruto listened quietly, giving her time to put her thoughts together. "So the first chance he got, he put me into self defense classes at 8 and it kinda just took off from there."
This particular statement caused some confusion.
"What do you mean "took off?"
"I mean discovering that this body was capable than more than beauty kinda set a spark in me." Ino emerged from her closet gesturing to her body with both hands. "Self defense turned into boxing, boxing turned into Maui Thai, and by 22? I found myself learning the ways of the Lotus by one of the worlds most skilled martial artist. Might Guy himself. With credentials like that, Tsunade offered me a job not long after." Ino spoke more to herself as she examined her form in the mirror. Years of a strict bodily regiment left her body chiseled, yet astoundingly womanly. A purple crop top did little to cover perfect abs and the matching black and purple mini-skirt showcased legs that seemed to go on forever.
"Daddy always preferred mind games. I can do that too." She said, turning to give Naruto a wink over her shoulder. "It seems to always work on men. But I prefer a method with a little more... grit."
Naruto thought back to the poor bastard that Shino had hauled away for them. He gulped for good measure before he spoke.
"So you're a world class fighter, smart as all hell, and you're..." Naruto paused a moment. Sucking in the sight of her as he mulled over the best choice of words to describe her. A pause that was much to her annoyance.
"I'm what! Spit it out-"
"Breathtaking."
Ino turned to see the look of awe on the man's face and actually managed the decency to blush for her bickering.
'Ah, So She is human after all.'
"Compliments will get you nowhere-"
"Marry me?" Naruto interjected.
Naruto still had that dumbfounded look on his face that men could only muster for discoveries and beautiful woman. But his naive question begged for Ino's laughter.
So she did.
She giggled at first but eventually had to cover her mouth and hold onto her stomach as her laugh continued.
"Ahahaahaha!"
"Hey... I'm not that funny." Naruto mumbled.
"If you want that privilege." Ino gasped out through bits of laughter. "You'll have to kill the useless husband I already have."
Naruto shook himself from his stupor, standing up to walk towards her. Extending his hand out to the woman.
"Deal."
'He can not be serious?'
Ino finally stopped laughing to look the man up and down. He actually was quite handsome, be it he was in a slightly worn-in suit still and his appearance mirrored hers in most aspects. Except all the little details. Sharp canines pointed from a toothy grin, an imperfection that couldn't be found in her rare, yet perfect, smile. Where her eyes frosted over, his were warm like a sunrise blue. Her paled platinum hair looked faint compared to his raw honey and her moon like skin was so much cleaner than his rugged sun kissed tan.
So different, but so alike at the same time.
"What makes you think you're strong enough for something like that? For any of this?" Naruto got the notion that she wasn't talking about Sai anymore and he putlled his hand away.
"I made myself a promise a long time ago. That I'd be strong as I needed to be." Naruto said more to himself than her. "And I don't plan on breaking it anytime soon.
Ino could see just how serious he was. For once he wasn't joking or just blowing hot air to gain her attention. Something about his demeanor actually showed some conviction.
'Maybe he's not so bad after all.'
"Come on Uzamaki." Ino grabbed Naruto by the arm and rushed out the door. "There's a lot of work to do."
xXx
"Kakashi-Sensei. I don't think I can do this anymore." Naruto's voice came out in a low drawl. His entire body trembling from head to toe as he did his best to avoid collapsing to the punishing sand beneath him.
Kakashi raised his one visible eye over his book. Ceasing his questions as well as his pacing.
"I'm sorry. What was that Naruto?"
"Naruto!" Gaara have a harsh whisper to the blonde. "What are you doing?!" His body too trembled from impending defeat. 6 minutes and 25 pounds later and the two had found themselves at their wits end. Having dropped multiple times only to be "motivated" to straighten back out by the tiny terrors beneath them.
"Hush Gaara." Kakahi delivered with a threatening eye. "Now Naruto. What did you say?"
"I- I can't do this anymore." He voice was almost to a whisper, his knees now digging into the sand. A multitude of jabs numbing the flesh as a few angry scorpions assaulted him.
"I know you can't, so you're done for the day." Was Kakashi's surprising response.
"Wait, really?" There was a glow about Naruto's face now as he saw Kakashi coming forward to remove the bags.
"Yes, really. But just remember something." Kakashi said calmly as he took one of Naruto's three bags. "You're were always meant to fail."
A loud THUNK was heard as he dropped Naruto's weight onto Gaara's back instead.
'Gaara?' Naruto was too shocked to speak at the sight before him.
"And its how you except that fact that defines you."
"UGH!" The boy screamed, but his body still held strong as Kakashi placed yet another weight on his back.
"You must understand that in this job, maybe even this world, you are always meant to fail. But it's how you handle that fact that defines you. And if you decide to give up on yourself before the fate does?" Kakashi placed the last weight on Gaara's back. Watching him collapse not from breaking but passing out from over exertion. His companion scrambling to haul him out of the sand before the weight or insects could cause any further damage. "Then you've failed not only yourself, but everyone around you."
xXx
"Excuse you?..." Naruto asked.
Gaara dropped his marker on the ground in irritation and turned away from his white board to face his partner.
"What the hell didn't make sense about this FULL PROOF PLAN?!"
Gaara had (for the sake of Naruto's understanding) made a full visual representation of the plan to confront Kakashi via stick drawings on a white board in Inochi's study. Naruto had managed to interrupt six times in a ten minute time span and Gaara had had enough of it.
"Um..." Naruto crossed his arms and stared at the board.
Then Gaara.
And then the board again.
And then back to Gaara.
"... The part where I DRESS UP AS A FUCKING GIRL TO GO SEE THIS ASSHOLE!?"
"Well you're clearly the most feminine goldly locks, suck it up." Ino pipped in from the corner.
"Well I'm not the one wearing guyliner and I'm not doing it."
"Stop being a baby, aren't you the one who wanted to meet Kakashi in the first place? Some progress needs to be made here and you're not fucking this up." Ino said, jabbing a rather angry finger at the man's chest.
"Yeah it'll be fun. Me and Ino can do your make up." Tenten piped in.
"UGHHH!" Naruto shouted in defeat as he collapsed back into the single chair behind him. "Just how the hell did we get here?"
A good question indeed.
Once things had settled down and the mood had lightened. The group decided to see just what it was that the Uchiha wanted delivered.Inside the garment bag they found one plain brown gardener's uniform with black boots, bearing the Uchiha compound insignia on the front breast pocket. An accompanying letter in said pocket that read.
"The entry pass for that disgruntled Tunuki. It'll be good to see you again man." The next set of clothing was a bit more eye catching. An orange skirt matched with a modest royal blue top that seemed to be fit for a rather tall girl, with a note on the him of the skirt that read "The entry pass for that bitchy idiot who's always asking me for favors. P.S.-There's ID's for both of you in the boots. Zuko Ano, And Naruko Hatake. P.S.S.- I thought the blue would match his girly eyes. P.S.S.S- If he thinks he's getting out of it, the guards are expecting an ugly blonde female as Kakashi's guest."
'That son of a bi-'
"They are kinda girly aren't they?...So are you doing it or not?" Gaara's question derailed Naruto's train of thought.
"The plan is pretty simple. You enter the compound as his " ahem " guest. And talk to Kakashi. From there you convince whoever the head guard is on duty to escort you both to the park area at the center of the compound. From there I enter the compound under the guise of a gardener in which I can possibly talk to him without much suspicion."
Naruto thought back to his teacher, and the life lesson he's taught him. How not to give up in the face of something challenging and most commonly, uncomfortable.
'I really hate my job sometimes.' The blonde thought in silence. 'But hell if I'm going to let a fucking dress beat me.'
"Fine. But I'm going to bitch about it literally the entire time."
xXx
A/N: It's ST season. If you're following ANY of my stories, be expecting an update sometime this week. Thanks for your patience. And a special thanks to the 2 or 3 readers who review every chapter. You know who you are(;
Let me know what you think! I'll have to beta this later, I'd just thought I'd get it to you sooner than later ya know? I'm a nosey mofo who unfortunately feeds on opinions. Not saying it'll effect my writing. But it definitely makes it worth while.