Hi, lovelies. So, yeah. I'm easing my way back into writing with a new story for you all. It's a sequel to 'In Memory of Me' so if you'd like to read that one too, check it out on my blog. Anyway, thank you all so much for your continued support and I hope this is a good read.

Step One: Getting Comfortable

"Henry! Henry! I know you're up there! It's time to go pick up your sisters!" I yell up the staircase.

At the top of the stairs, only seconds later, our baby boy appears with a huge smile on his face. I'd be more worried about him being on the stairs alone but I swear our little guy is a board scholar. He's only two yet he's figured out the most effective-and fun-way of coming down the stairs: sliding.

He slides right into my arms and is giggling up a storm as I tickle him, "Mommy!"

"Hi, sweet boy!" I laugh giving him a tight squeeze.

Our sitter, a nineteen year old college student, rounds the corner and smiles coming down the stairs, "Hey, Dr. Montgomery! Henry and I had a blast today."

"Thank you so much, Celeste," I pay her and she heads out the door.

Waving at Henry before she goes then smiles closing the door behind her, "See you Monday, Henry!"

"Bye bye! Lest!" he smiles and I hug him again.

I check the time, it's two o'clock and school lets out at 2:30, I smile at my little man, "Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah! We color and we did abc's!"

"That's awesome, baby!" I smile as we head out the door.

He turns to me curiously, "Mama?"

"She's still at work," I explain, "but she'll be home soon."

"Tim?" he asks next.

I smile opening up the door to our truck, "I'll call Aunt Callie and Aunt Arizona to see if maybe Sofia and Tim can come over for dinner tonight. How about that?"

"Yeah!" he clasps his hands as I try to strap him in, "Sleep sleep?"

"Maybe they can sleepover but I have to ask, okay?" I smile down at my son as I finish and close the door behind me. It's funny because he doesn't know that we're celebrating his adoption today so they'll be over anyway for his mini celebration.

It's Friday. Meredith is done at four and then were both off for the rest of the weekend. Henry's second birthday is next week and we're both calling off Thursday and Friday to take the kids to Disneyland. Callie and Arizona will be joining us as well. So the kids are all extremely excited.

We pull up at the elementary school just as the children are running out of the building. I spot my baby girls only seconds after they run out of the big open doors. I step out of the car and stand outside of it waving at the two as they skip over to the truck.

"Mommy!" Zola exclaimed, "I learned subtractions today!"

"And I've been quizzing her," the young red-head grinned. "See! Zola, what's one thousand minus two hundred and fifty?"

"Those are too many zeros, Ella!"

"Remember what I told you," she explained.

Zola's silent for a moment while I get her strapped into her booster seat, "Oh, yeah. I can take off the zeros and add them back later… So, if a hundred minus twenty-five is seventy-five then a thousand minus two-hundred and fifty is… seven hundred and fifty!"

"That's right, Zola!" she grinned, "See, I told you you could do it."

Ella's proven to be the world's greatest big sister. From the moment Zola joined our little family six years ago, the girls have been attached at the hip. It made things much easier by the time Henry came into our lives. The girls treated him as though he was always a part of our family and nothing changed, except there was another person to dress up and have tea parties with.

With three noisy little ones strapped in their seats, I head to the store to pick up our groceries. I'd normally grocery shop myself before I pick up the girls from school with Henry but we were shopping for his celebration this evening. So I ordered online to have them brought out to the car when we arrive. Usually we'd stop at the park to wear them out a little but with Henry's Adoption Day festivities tonight, I don't want them to be too tired.

We're home in no time. The girls race each other to finish their homework as I get Henry dressed and ready for dinner. He has no idea that Meredith's coming home with a cake a whole week before his birthday. The first year we did it, he was only eleven months old and I'm almost positive he doesn't remember unless we have a super genius baby on our hands. I wouldn't put it past him. He started walking at nine months and forming two to four word sentences a few short months after.

I'm in the middle of buttoning up his little suit that I bought him for today when my cell phone rings. It's an unfamiliar number but I always get random phone calls from patients so I answer professionally, "Dr. Montgomery-Grey speaking."

"Hi, I'm Tiana Bowen calling from the DDC; DNA Diagnostic Center located in Seattle, Washington. May I confirm that I'm speaking with a… Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery?"

"Uh, yeah?" I sputtered out. This is the diagnostic center Mark and I went to all those years ago for paternity testing on an unborn baby Ella. She's eight years old now. What could they possibly be calling about? "This is she."

"This is involving a case from about nine years ago involving you and a… Dr. Mark Sloan," she continues. "Due to some laboratory errors on our part, it turns out that we gave you two a false-positive paternity test result. Dr. Mark Sloan is not your child's father. We are so sorry for the error and we are leaving our lawyer's contact information with all of our clients."

"Wait, what?" I say a moment later. "Mark isn't Ella's father?"

"I am so sorry, Dr. Montgomery," she said quietly. "I've sent you an email with our lawyer's information attached to the email we have on file. I hope you have a blessed rest of your day. Thank you."

And that was that… My stomach is turning in knots and I make a beeline for the bathroom. I turn up the contents of my stomach into the toilet before stepping over to the sink to dab my face in cold water. I can barely breathe. If Ella isn't Mark's daughter, that means she's… she's Derek's. Just the thought of his name sends me back to the last couple of weeks of our marriage… Tears shoot out of my eyes uncontrollably and I can't seem to compose myself. I hear faint knocks on the bathroom door and it opens revealing a crying little boy, reaching out his arms to me as he falls into my lap.

"No cry, Mommy," he cries out. He hates it when any of us cries.

I wipe his tears before I wipe my own, "I'm okay, Henry. Mommy's okay."

"Okay," he nods and I take him into a deep hug.

Moments later, louder footsteps enter into the room. Her voice calls out, "Addie, baby? The girls said that you and Henry were up here getting ready for dinner."

"We're in here," I manage to get out between cries. Meredith walks into the bathroom with the saddest look on her face but when Henry sees her, they both smile. She hugs him and kisses him softly.

"Mama? Mommy sad. Mommy cry," he tells her.

She nods putting him down, "Thank you, sweet boy. Go check on your sisters and make sure they're getting ready for dinner while I check on, Mommy."

He runs off and Meredith sits down beside me on the bathroom floor. I try to smile but I can't even fake it. I sob out, "Ella isn't Marks. The diagnostic center called and told me there was an error… that Mark isn't Ella's father."

"What do you mean Daddy isn't my Daddy?" a tiny voice asks as it makes itself known from the other side of the door.

Staring back at Ella now, I don't know how I didn't see it before. Those deep blue eyes… every Shepherd has them. The strawberry blonde hair that she had as a baby is almost so black that you can only see that it's red in the sunlight. She is Derek's daughter… she's the little girl we've always wanted but got too busy to have. She is the baby that, if only came a few years earlier, could've probably saved our marriage… saved Derek from becoming a monster… a rapist. Ella is the daughter of the man who hurt me in more ways than one. She is the product of rape.

Staring back at Ella now, I can barely look at her without seeing him. I shake my head trying to rid myself of him and I bury my face deep into Meredith's chest. I sob out, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all of this. I'm sorry."

"Ssh, honey. You're okay. We're okay," Meredith consoles me, "We're going to figure this out. Ella, everything's fine. Mommy and I just need to talk."

"But what did you mean…"

"Ella," I hear Meredith start but she doesn't finish.

The little girl whines, "Why is Mommy crying? Is it me? She looked at me and started crying. I made Mommy cry and something's wrong with my daddy. Why aren't you telling me what's wrong? You always tell me what's wrong. I'm the oldest."

"Bug… please," Meredith pleads. "I promise we will talk to you a little later. Right now, I need you to help us by getting Zola and Henry ready for dinner. May you do that for me please?"

"You promise you'll talk to me about my daddy later?"

"Yes, I promise," she nods as she rubs circles on my back in an attempt to calm me down.

I hear her footsteps before I hear her voice, "Okay, Mama."

"Addison, baby," I hear after a few minutes. "Look at me… Addison…"

"I-I can't-," I forced out mumbled. "Everything's ruined."

"No, it's not. We can fix this," she says calmly. "We can figure this out, baby. You are so strong. We will get through this. We have to. We're Addison and Meredith, remember? We can get through anything."

I really hope Meredith is right because I don't feel okay. I feel confused… disgusted, even. It's crazy that after nine years, my assault affects me with the same intenseness… that Derek can still torture me from the other side of the country.

I stand here putting the finishing touches on my hair as the doorbell rings. Our guests have arrived… Meredith's already downstairs in the kitchen so I don't have to rush. I take the curler to my hair once again as I try to force myself to put on a brave face. I don't even have an appetite anymore… How am I going to make it through this dinner?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a knock at my open bedroom door. I glance behind me slightly and at the sight of my best friend, I force a smile, "Hey, I'm almost finished here."

"What's wrong?" she says immediately.

I feign confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You're standing in front of a mirror," she says plainly. "Look at yourself… try to tell me that your face isn't screaming that something's wrong."

"Callie…" I started but I can't seem to finish the sentence.

She pleads, "Come on, Addie. We've been best friends almost ten years… You can tell me anything."

"Sofia and Ella aren't sisters," I say quickly as I unplugged the curlers and make my way into the bathroom.

Callie follows behind me, "What? What do you mean?"

"The diagnostic center that we went to called earlier today and told me they butchered the results," I say quietly. "Ella isn't Mark's daughter."

"So, you mean Ella is…" she trails off not wanting to finish her sentence.

I finish for her, "Derek's. Ella is the daughter of my rapist and I'm such a horrible person because I can't even look her in the face without getting sick. I'm a terrible mother."

"Don't say that," she shook her head. "You're a great mother, Addison. The diagnostic center is terrible, this news is horrible and you, you're just still in shock. This is so fucked up."

"I don't know what to do, Callie," I cried out turning around to her. "Ella overheard me telling Meredith and I didn't even know what to say… I didn't know how to comfort her. Meredith told her that she would explain everything to her later and I just blanked… I can't do this. I can't handle this. She can't be Derek's daughter… I could never tell him… What do I tell Mark?"

"Love," she says taking me into her arms, "I'm so sorry this is happening. You are so strong. You know that? You're going to be okay."

I'm not as strong as you think. We head downstairs not too long after to celebrate Henry's adoption finalization. It took almost a year for him to be officially ours, although he was ours from the start. I delivered him and about six weeks later, I got a call from our agent saying that the birth mother specifically asked for us. I'm so grateful for her. Without her, our family would be incomplete. Staring down at my son now, I can't help but smile. He's always a light when the rest of us seem to be heading down dark paths. Like right now, I'm heading down a really dark tunnel and I can't make out an ending just yet. Maybe I should just get comfortable?

So, what did you think? Let me know down below. Please, please, please review. :)

- Kae