A/N: Omg. We made it to 100 favorites... I'm not crying. You crying.
Thanks guys, it means a lot(:
Oh, I refer all of you to my disclaimer. Do NOT take anything in this fic too seriously. Yes I can be serious and I actually love the serous/goofy tone switch I tend to do but buckle up because this chapter gets fucking weird. But hey, hope you enjoy.
Also, lots of editing going on, so I'll get to the mistakes here and other chapters throughout the week.
xXx
At the far Gate of the Uchiha Estate
"He's going to make an absolute mess of my house isn't he?" Itachi asked, rather irritatedly.
"Well it's not exactly yours anymore." Kisame carefully reminded. "I think you can trust him and his lackeys to flush the Fox out.
"And Gaara? Them apart seems to be no hard feat. But ever since Deidara warned them they've been like slippery eels... damned 'artist' and his Idiocentric habits. " Itachi was uncertain for once and the feeling had him all but fuming. Never was he ever so easily annoyed and tired of a mission.
"Still say we just blow the whole thing sky high-"
"Put one explosive anywhere NEAR my little brother and mother and you'll be breathing from a tube, Deidara."
xXx
Meanwhile. At the Uchiha home.
The manner was a scramble as Sasuke ordered the evacuation of just about everyone who wasn't Gamma Squad via the estates exstensive underground tunneling.
"You know we could just leave with them. It's just a house-"
"Save it Coward. We aren't going anywhere." Naruto shut down the Uchiha quickly when he suggested they up and leave without at least finding out who was gunning for them now.
"So. How's the leg?" Gaara asked Kiba, in the manners library. From here both the living room below and the library above could be seen/ heard from. Perfect for the squads communication.
"Oh, you know." Kiba settled into the loft of second story very carefully. Being sure to support his right side as he laid down into the prone. "Most days I don't even notice its missing." He said with a full toothed smile.
"Ha. Ha." Gaara said with a frown.
"I told you to stop feeling so guilty about it ya know."
"You say that like it easy... there's a reason I quit."
"Yeah well don't blame it on my leg, Sand Man." Gaara looked sullen about it but didn't bother pushing the subject further.
"AHAhahAha!" A wicked laugh echoed down the hallway as Haku rushed down it and evaded a very persistent Sasuke whom was desperately trying to secure a grenadier bag of grenades from the mad woman who'd plundered his family's armory.
"Don't blame yourself for loony tunes over there either... God damn man, what is it you liked about her anyway??" Kiba asked.
"I put you both near a lot of things that go boom. So I can't honestly say that's not something to do with the crazy... Honestly the crazier she got, the harder I fell... But why, you said?" Gaara surveyed the current predicament and asked himself just that?
Why?
Was it the chaos?
'Well She is playing keep away with a literal fuck-ton of live explosives.'
The looks maybe?
'Jesus Christ did she have to wear a tank top here?' Something he's been avoiding observing since she pounced on him earlier. Between a light cardigan, a white tank top and black shorts. She was just about spilling out of her outfit.
Or maybe:
Haku paused her teasing to look over at Gaara who was all but engrossed in her now. She gave him a big smile and a wave before Sasuke tried snatching the bag from her in her distraction.
Gaara couldn't really say he'd experienced unconditional affection the way she showed him.
"See somethin you like there, Gar Bear?"
Gaara knew that voice as well as the sound of that accusing tone. Immediately.
"Just uhh... never seen such a big handful of grenades. That's all!" Gaara choked out hastily against the harrowing pull of his now very tight metaphorical leash.
"You were staring at a handful all right." Tenten muttered looking first at the source of Gaara's previous attention and then down at her own goods and gave herself a reassuring squeeze. After all it wasn't her fault she wasn't blessed with two big eye catchers and back problems. Gaara gave her a rather confused look and Kiba blushed before going about his business.
"Anyway. Here, jerk. ... teach me." Tenten dropped a 9mm handgun, compliments of the armory, on the table. "No time like crunch time."
She was right after all. The guards had spotted intruders all of five minutes ago, there was no telling what the hold up was on their next move. Gamma was doing there best to prepare and Gaara couldn't deny, the more guns, the better.
"Um, y-yeah sure. Come here." Gaara patted the seat next to him and steadily began the speed course of gun use. He realized through his teaching how focused she was on just everything he had to say and it embodied a different sense of guilt in him he'd never really felt before. Kiba's accident was his fault. Sasuke's waning mission confidence, his fault. Haku's slew of fucked behavioral issues, the PTSD, their break up, all his fault.
But the look of disappointment in Tenten's eyes was something else entirely. It was something that he could truly and undoubtedly say was his fuck up and for once he surmised that he was perhaps feeling real guilt. Not just something he could choose to blame on himself in hopes of coping.
"I'm, sorry." He halted his lesson to say. "I'm, sorry for... staring."
"... It's ok." Tenten moved to squeeze his hand. "You're a guy. And guys are dumb. But I guess now... you're my dummy? So I'll let it slide this one time." She kissed him on the cheek and went back to fiddling about with her new found weaponry.
"You have no idea how much of a relief that is-"
"We'll just have to fix it is all." Tenten said nonchalantly.
"Fix it how exactly?" Gaara was more than willing to make things right.
"I'll just have to kill her."
"... Excuse me, what??"
"Come here you whore!"Tenten readied the empty handgun with the haste of a trained killer. Loading the mag, racking the top and switching the safety off before jumping up to join the chase of the crazed lady assassin.
'I've created a monster in the span of 2 minutes.' Gaara thought as his mind tried to register what exactly was going on.
"She's a quick learner Gaara, that's a keeper." Kiba chimed in.
"Oh, thanks man. I appreciate- hey wait a fucking minute!" Gaara yelled down the hall. "She's got a fucking bag of Grenades. Do NOT shoot her!"
"Ohhh, so you're defending her now?!" Tenten screeched back as Haku cackled In laughter for the moment as a round flew past her head.
"Oh COME ON!" Gaara pleaded.
"Yeahhh, let's never be like that." Ino thought aloud. Her and Naruto had been making their own necessary preparations and heard the screaming from the room over.
"So we are a 'we-"
"Don't ruin it, Baka." Ino interrupted.
xXx
About 5 minutes of careful defusing later.
"Seems we're in a bit of a tiff, huh?"
Gaara mumbled more to the room than to anyone in particular as the newly reformed Gamma squad barricaded the main Uchiha living room/library. Various 'yeahs' and agreements were tossed about. Haku jittered with excitement, Sasuke groaned in annoyance. But unremarkably enough, Naruto found time to focus on the thing most irrelevant at the time.
"A tiff?..." Naruto halted the loading of a grey pump action shotgun in order to pursue an answer to a subject that was clearly of much more dire importance.
An answer to what exactly?
Well Gaara had a good idea, so he steady ignored the blonde as he went over the extensive rules of gun use with Tenten, finding it a better use of their scarce time window than getting into it with Naruto about:
"A fucking tiff??? What is that shit? You don't talk like that! We're about to be killed by God knows who and you start speaking ye' ol' English?!"
'We're really going to do this right now?' Gaara thought.
"Well. If you paid even the slightest attention to anything I do, you'd know I was actually taking college classes while you slack around the fucking coffee shop eating all the fat kid snacks. So excuse the fuck ouTA ME IF I WANT TO AT LEAST STAY ON TOP OF MY GOD DAMN WORD OF THE DAY." Gaara cocked back a scope modded M4A1, compliments of Sasuke's armory, and made a reasonable stand out of an overturned bookshelf to look out into the vast Uchiha expansion. "AND Today I'm missing my advanced English class to shoot a bunch of-" Gaara looked through his scope and yelled over to Ino for confirmation. "Hey, Barbie you seein this shit?..."
"I'm not sure what I'm seeing." Was her reply as she pulled in her rifle to clean the sight with her shirt. "Must be something wrong with this shitty lense."
Haku, in lieu of a gun, (due to collective trust issues amongst her peers) used binoculars to scope out the incoming enemy. "I see zombies." Was her expert opinion.
"Zombies... fucking- GIVE ME THAT." Naruto relieved Haku of the binoculars who merely shrugged it off.
"Hey man, they looked a lot like zombies to me." Haku said.
"... I swear you used to be sane." Naruto remarked.
"Explosions do that to ya." Haku shrugged again and went back to happily polishing her collection of poisoned senbon. "1 stick, 2 hits, 3 struck true. Killing is what senbon do." She sang to herself, a large grin on her face as she hummed the rest of her tune.
"Zombies... of all the stupid-" Naruto stopped mumbling under his breath to increase the scope of the binoculars. Surely he wasn't seeing what he thought he was seeing. "You got to be fucking kidding me."
Pale.
Really pale.
Some missing limbs of every variety. Blood splatter on most of their half naked bodies. A mob of half dead looking humans barreling right at them. Droves that stacked at least a few dozen packed in the back of a multitude of trucks like chummy sardines. Tires creaking slowly towards the home in an impromptu formation.
"Bullocks... OH GOD DAMNIT, IT'S CONTAGIOUS." Naruto Shouted with frustration. More at himself than the room.
"I think you guys are assuming too much, they don't look like rotting flesh to me." Kiba tensed at the notion of the paranormal, coincidentally rubbing his right leg as it stiffened from the oncoming rain. "Storms coming too if this isn't creepy enough."
"You're sure? Rain isn't ideal for fighting off an ambush." Ino asked. After all, sniping moving targets was hard enough as it is.
"The metal doesn't lie." Kiba replied as he knocked twice on his right "leg" that resounded a metallic thud. Taking a look through his own weapon of choice, a personalized navy blue AR with the name "Top Dog" etched onto the frame. "I mean, they're fucking weird lookin, yeah. But they look more like a bunch of-"
"Cultist." The room's occupants stilled at the sudden crackling of the houses surround sound system.
"...Is that the Nara?" Sasuke asked.
"SHH!" Ino hushed. "Shikamaru, that you??" She asked aloud.
"Yup. Just pay attention. I've been doing some digging." The static settled and the familiar droll tone of the lazy genius was more apparent. "Police reports say a group, a parade worth, of 'disfigured' and otherwise 'unsightly' looking individuals were spotted outside of the Yamanaka residence. Missing limbs, grungy appearance, and covered head to toe in ghoulish makeup. Best bet says that's the followers of Jashin. Members of the same cult that the Akatsuki guy was from."
"Jashin?" Tenten asked.
"A cult that apparently believes in eternal life through painful or malicious sacrifice." Shikamaru explained.
"Great... religious heretics..." Tenten muttered.
"Awh... I wanted the mercenary psychos." Haku pouted.
"You're a realll twisted bitch..." Tenten managed to get out past an agape jaw.
"How the fuck did you hack my surround sound!?" Sasuke erupted with a clearly more appropriate concern.
"Who cares??" Gaara was frustrated with the entire situation, Sasuke could feel his annoyance and backed off reluctantly. "What do they want from us? And how many are there?"
"That weeb better not break anything..." Sasuke joined Haku's pity party as he continued to mumble general sounds of angst and bitchiness in his corner.
"Well, considering you killed their leader-"
"Oops." Ino mouthed.
"They probably just want your heads and for you to suffer the wrath of their God Jashin." Shikamaru finished and the room fell silent.
"Oh, is that all? Such a modest people." Gaara spat.
"The sarcasm doesn't suit you too well hun." Tenten criticized.
"Why are we even worried? I mean look at them, their a bunch of freaks who probably cut off their own fingers for the hell of it. If what you say is true then we're shooting a bunch of morons in a barrel." Kiba tapped his weapon to prove his point. "Just give the word, Sand Man."
The room collectively considered the idea, a few shrugs here, a nod there. They proceeded to post along the houses for an aligned front against the oncoming horde.
"Approximately thirty to forty targets. First wave. Unconfirmed numbers." Gaara said. "Fire on my mark. Hold."
The offending individuals piled out of their truck beds as they approached the estates second gate. Scrambling over the fencing in a feverish manner, stacking atop one another to get over as quickly as possible.
"Fire!"
xXx
Day of graduation. W.E.T. Training facility.
"Congrats maggots." Anko wiped at the corner of her eye with a frustrated swipe of the hand.
"You've made it. No longer maggots, you-you've finally graduat-damnit!... I don't want to do this!"
"Oh here come the water works. Kakashi." Tsunade snapped for the silver haired man. "Get her off my stage, I'll do it myself."
The day was here. The graduating class of Gamma 151 had finally made it to the end of their two year course. Excitement was high throughout the entire academy as both recently graduated students hyped up the new generation, and fresh recruits looked in a awe at the new W.E.T. agents roaming the halls, just waiting for the next day in which they'd become official employees of the Leaf.
But before celebrations could happen, of course, a ceremony must ensue.
"Ya don't have to be such an old bitch about it ya know?" Anko was busy balling her eyes out at this point, a reassuring Kakashi trying to coax her off the auditorium stage. "They just grow up so fast! And I mean they're still a bunch of worthless pieces of shit. But they're like, my shit ya know?"
Kakashi simply nodded. But Tsunade saw through it.
"You're drunk aren't you?"
The pair paused before they could make it off stage.
"... Maybe." She hiccuped.
"Goddamnit Anko. It's a rehearsal. RE-HEAR-SAL!!" She emphasized as she through open hands at the empty room. "There's not a damn thing to be nervous about!"
"We both know she's no fan of public speaking." Kakashi defended.
"Are you fucking kidding?! She humiliated these kids on a daily basis in front of their peers. Sounds like she's perfectly capable of talking-"
"It's a coping mecha- manism? Mechahisim?" Anko fumbled pitifully around the words until Kakashi came to the rescue.
"Mechanism, dear. A coping mechanism."
"Oh shut it you two... unbelievable that only my most annoying disciples came back to teach." Tsunade grumbled that last bit under her breath.
"I mean if you prefer we can always leave, I'm sure you and Jariya will get along just fine."
"Yeah, you tell her Kakashi!" Anko cheered as Kakashi very carefully maneuvered her down the stage steps.
"Ungrateful brats the both of-"
"Lady Tsunade. Attention, this is an important message for Lady Tsunade." Shizune, Tsunade's personal assistant, sounded loud over the building's intercom.
The message sounded three more times as Tsunade hushed Anko and Kakashi's retort to listen.
"Immediate action must be taken. Terrorist activity in Rice Country. Requesting a squad sized element."
"Ah. What a wonderful way to earn your keep. You two!" Tsunade snapped in The duo's general direction. "Prepare Gamma for a final test. You'll be accompanying them."
"We don't need them." Gaara entered the large hall having just heard an announcement. "Gamma team doesn't need their hands held. Let us prove it to you."
"Arrogant, aren't you?" Tsunade questioned as she raised a brow.
"Just confident in my team." He replied. Face void of any smirk or jive. All business.
"Gamma Squad can handle anything."
xXx
Back at the Estate: Present Day
Anything seemed to be a relative term these days.
"So... Are we going to ignore the obvious fact that they're-"
"SHH!" Seethed the collective. Nobody really wanting to accept the obvious truth Haku was pointing out.
Hell Fire in the form of continued rounds poured almost seamlessly from the Uchiha home. Flooding the front lawn with lead and blood. The "horde" fell apart at the seems, dropping to the ground only to rise once more through the pouring rain. Full of bullet holes and angry battle cries as they slipped in fresh mud. The now pouring rain washed away any makeup and Gamma Squad could now clearly see how much of the gore was actually real in the first place. The estates defensive mechanics engaged as well, in the form of turrets throughout the lawn, they too mowed down the weed like beings. But eventually getting gunked down by rainwater and piling bodies.
"Come on guys." Haku moaned as she continued to watch the blazing carnage through her binoculars. "They're popping back up like daisies. They've gotta be-"
"They're not fucking zombies!" Gaara Shouted while he butted the skull of a cultist into chunks with the butt-stock of his revolver as a couple had managed to reach the front porch.
"Yeah and I'm sane... This guy is literally oozing brain matter!" Haku exclaimed, an open palm aimed at said human/cultist/zombie thing that crawled its way on hand and knee through the window sill.
"Would you fucking die already?!" Gaara yelled through snarling teeth.
"Gaara..." Tenten was worried. She's never seen him quite this angry before.
"NOT. Now." Gaara gritted through his teeth. This was Gaama squad after all, what would Tsunade say if she saw them in such a pathetic situation? He should of planned better. Been better.
'We're supposed to be able to handle anything.' He scolded himself and he could feel Tsunade's judgement browbeating him from beyond the grave.
"Hmph." Tenten watched, bothered, as Gaara stomped out the abomination in frustration, finally ceasing his onslaught of stomps once the being stopped moving. A cranberry mess of mush where it's head used to be.
"Aim for their heads." Kiba Shouted below to the other shooters. "Seems to be the only way to make these bastards stop moving."
"Oh? That all?" Haku responded, dripping with sarcasm as she tossed 3 senbon into the forehead of an advancing undead. "I don't think you're walking dead trivia is working out too well." The thing continued to rush at her until Naruto put buckshot through his skull.
"I'd agree, but maybe you're just doing it wrong." Tenten said as she sheathed her own hunters knife and 9mm away for something with grandeur. After a jab to an armless dummy's temple proved ineffective, she settled for picking up a traditional folded steel Katana from atop the Uchiha fireplace instead. One slice saw a head slide to the ground with a wet thump. Another saw three more began to pile as Tenten rushed the front door to cease their advances.
"Hey now!" Sasuke yelled from his position. "That's Grandfathers-"
"Ooooohhh, I like her!" Haku exclaimed. Following suit, picking up a still piping hot coal picker since the antique sword collection was now out of stock. Frolicking behind Tenten as she cherry picked any poor soul that dare come too close.
"This can't really be happening... " Sasuke's hands trembled as they struggled to load his weapon. Nervous hands dropping more rounds than he could load. "It just can't. It can't. It can't. It can't-"
"We heard you the first time. Just shut up and focus coward!" Naruto barked at Sasuke. His focus was razor sharp. With each pump of his shotgun, heads exploding like confetti all over the lawn. "Kiba! How we looking up there?"
Ino's and Kiba's position up top made for a solid vantage point. They were able to pick off the less gruesome one in the back of the horde that seemed to be more in control of the situation. The downside being it was much harder to blow off a head from that distance in the stormy weather.
"I'd say we're looking pretty good... but uhh..." Kiba stopped speaking and for a moment and only the continued gunfire and grunts of the "undead" could be heard.
"Uhh what??" Naruto continued when the response was left hanging.
"I don't think I did a very good job at killing that guy the first time." Ino finished.
"Excuse me?" Naruto froze.
"That bastard. The one who dared to come into my home? And attack my family?... He's on at the rear of this horde and he looks awfully alive to me."
"That's impossible. He was as dead as a door nail when Shino picked him- Aw hell. Shikamaru!"
"Send it." Was his delayed response.
"Get a hold of Shino! If what Ino says is true then we need to make sure they didn't come for him too."
"On it." Shikamaru phased from communication for good this time to go check on Shino.
Naruto snagged Ino's rifle to get a better view and low and behold. The silver haired man was sitting comfy on his own truck. His first two waves having successfully busted down the gates and the couple of staged auto torrents that littered the front yard. A big middle finger on both hands as he zoomed in even closer to see his neck had seemingly healed completely.
'Is that. A pentagram?' Naruto observed when he zoomed back out to see the outline of bodies they'd eliminated. It was obvious now from the more vertical view but a select few of these freaks were dying in specific spots along the vast yard. Dropping into the same foreign formation Hidan had drawn in the Yamanaka home. Seeing him command the mindless horde with such ease made his blood boil.
The shit eating grin on his face was really grinding his nerves too.
"Fucking prick..." Naruto muttered. "Here." He handed the rifle back to Ino so that he may pick up his own weapon. Though upon priming he realized that he was very much out of ammo.
"Sasuke. You got anything... bigger?" Naruto dropped his empty shotgun for emphasis.
Sasuke stomped in the head of the nearest freak by kicking back in the front door on his dome piece. Blasting it it to itty bitties. The smart ones were beginning to focus their efforts on the reinforced glass of the house by pounding on it in unison. Ino and Kiba did their best to keep them at bay and the remainder of the group had been forced back into the house due to the sheer size of them.
"Well uh" He racked his mind of the armory's contents as he wiped blood from his hands onto his jeans. "We got a pretty cool crossbow that shoots grenades?"
"Bigger." Naruto prodded.
"50. Cal?"
"BIGGER DAMNIT."
"What?! Do you expect me to just pull a tank out of my ass?? This is just all of dad's old shit anyway! Itachi had all the cool-"
"... Cool what? Spit it out loser."
"Wait here. I'll be right back!" this time Sasuke ran upstairs opposed to the basement armory in which he'd been making frequent ammo runs to prior.
"Guys! I think more are coming" Kiba yelled below.
"How? there's gotta be something fueling these things." Haku deduced.
"I think psychos right!... That Hidan freak is... glowing?" Ino spotted.
Kiba looked over to verify Ino's findings. "Glowing white like Christmas lights. Money says whatever he's doing back there ain't gonna end well" The stark white appearance of what he thought was makeup flowed all too bright against the black pattern covering his entire torso.
"Well, then less talky more shooty." Ino urged.
"What's to say he want just get back up like the rest of them?" Gaara made a solid point and the rooms chatter silenced for a moment. Until Sasuke came rushing back downstairs.
"I guess you'll just have to make sure there's nothing left to revive." In hand was what one might refer to as a doomsday device, another, a rocket. But to the intellectual.
"A SMAW." Naruto said as his mouth hanged.
A Shoulder Launched Multi Purpose Assualt weapon. A large tube like missle launcher that made RPG's look like play things. Naruto was in awe. Equally parts excited but also furious/curious about one thing.
"... No seriously. You wanted to give me a crossbow and you had this JUST LAYING AROUND-"
"Just take it!! Itachi's room scares me alright?" Was Sasuke's ironclad defense.
"Un-...unbelievable." Naruto shook it off as he addressed the group. "It's the bodies. Whatever God they're praying too has these assholes coming back to life. And that dick head looks like the conduit for all of it." Naruto informed. "Tenten. Haku. Clear a path." The impromptu duo looked at each other and nodded. Their rivalry would have to wait for a while.
Or perhaps, continue right now.
"Bet I kill more than you psycho." Tenten prodded.
"You're on! Gaara! I hope you're watching." Haku waved before rushing out the door.
'They'll be the death of me.' Gaara thought.
Tenten kicked down the front making a shish kabob of freak meat as she rammed through three almost instantly. Haku kept the pressure off Naruto with her own instrument of death.
"Cover your fuckin ears and pray to your gods." Naruto Shouted from the rear.
'Welp, here goes nothing.' Naruto waved away his protective entourage.
Many have not seen the life changing event that is a SMAW rocket going off in real time. But the back blast is enough to lift the top layer of unkempt earth from the ground, making room for its presence. The ground trembles and the air sings a harsh note under its power. The average direct hit rate is below 40 percent for the typical trained professional, perhaps any soldier or marine. But Naruto had a skill that went unmatched amongst his peer group.
50 percent.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Hell and blood-water lifted from the earth as the ground shook and everything within a 20meter distance fell to the ground to cover their ears and face. The whistle of the rocket seemed to go on forever but the rocket struck true. Sending first the truck Hidan occupied(as well the three around it) into a cloud of fire and then into something greater as Hidan's body turned into pink mist on impact.
A skull like cloud rose from were his body once was and everything seemed to stand still.
xXx
"It... it's beautiful."Deidara gasped in awe at the mountain sized skull in the sky, it's mouth agape as it ascended to the heavens. All the while bursting and bustling with red flames and black smoke. The trio could feel the rumble of the ground from their location kilometeres away and the sight itself left Deidara in bliss before he was struck in the back of the head by Itachi's left shoe.
"I told that twerp not to touch my stuff..." Itachi seethed as Kisame placed a comforting hand on the man's shoulder.
xXx
The remainder of the freaks dropped to the ground like collective sacks of meat. Laying wherever they might've fallen, lifeless.
"Solid shot." Tenten mouthed as she nudged the nearest one with the tip of her sword. "I think you did it?"
"Yeah but did what exactly? I think I just blew up a magician?... A holy man?" Naruto pondered.
"Necromancer?" Haku continued.
"A heretic. You killed a heretic, Naruto. Just be glad it's done with." Tenten concludes. "I feel bad for the janitorial staff though, this yard looks like the Red Sea."
xXx
"I'm going to have some grade A tinnitus after this." Naruto shook of the shake of the blast and joined Gaara in the middle of the now freak free common room.
"Remind me how we got into this mess?" Gaara asked, a bit worse for wear himself.
"...HUH?" Naruto Shouted as he leaned in, cupping his ear.
"Geez, I'm kidding." Naruto reached up to pull out two foamy ear protectors he put on before all the firing. "Did you mean the blood?... or in general?" Naruto replied. Flicking a particularly thick film of gore from his face with saturated hands.
"Guess it doesn't matter." Gaara stood with a groan, doing the same. "You tend to get me in trouble no matter what the reason."
"You're blaming this." Naruto threw his hands up in the air as if to say, everything. "On, me?!"
Gaara first looked right.
Then left.
Once at the blood dripping ceiling.
And then back to Naruto.
"Well if the shoe fits-" Gaara looked past Naruto to the smeared floor behind him. "... Is that a whole fucking foot?"
Naruto ignored the man as he nudged the appendage with no small amount of amusement.
"Well blame me all you want, I still say it's her fault. You should've never let her in the store, to begin with."
"You don't mean that."
"... Shut up."
"Ew. Boys always get so dirty." Ino tiptoed carefully to the center of the room. "What are you two on about anyway?"
"How you're to blame for all my life's problems." Naruto groaned, folding his arms.
Ino looked over at Gaara as if to say. 'What's his deal?' But managed to get only a shrug in response.
"Riiiight. Well, I don't know about you, but this doesn't exactly seem like the place to be right now. So I suggest we leave. ASAP."
"Nuh uh. I'm staying right here. Hell if I'm letting another abomination attack me." Sasuke said, plopping down on the living room couch with a sigh.
"Coward..." Naruto muttered.
"Bite me, loser." Was Sasuke's lazy response.
"Anyone else changing their mind?" Gaara asked, interrupting the ensuing banter. Looking back and forth between Tenten, Kiba, and Haku who had just joined the rest of the group in the bloody living room.
"You know I'm not going anywhere, tough guy." Tenten said, moving to stand next to his side. And what a sight they were. One, slightly disheveled with bloody hands that matched his hair, and the other gripping a clean steel Katana. But managing to be covered almost head to toe in a red mist.
"Long as you promise not to get my other leg blown off. I'm in" Kiba jabbed at Gaara.
"No promises..." Gaara took the joke a bit hard but managed to smile at his friend's loyalty.
"And you? Feel like helping out a little longer?" Gaara nervously asked Haku.
"As if you're getting rid of me that easily!" Haku jumped at the offer and rushed to join Gaara on his free side.
"Oh, joy..." Tenten proclaimed as she instinctively held Gaara by the arm when the girl moved closer.
"Awh, I think someone's intimidated by me." Haku said with a laugh as she grabbed Gaara's other arm.
'Oh she's done it now' Gaara thought as he gave a hefty internal sigh.
"Me? Intimidated? You, just don't know how to back off!" Tenten all but growled as she moved to stand in front of Gaara to face her newfound annoyance. Haku moved to do the same. Both girls with an arm in hand.
Haku only managed a big smile that proved to piss Tenten off even more.
"There somethin you want to say to me?" Tenten asked as her grip tightened and Gaara's face noticeably reddened from the pain/embarrassment.
"Well." Haku moved in to whisper low enough for only the three of them to hear.
"We could always share him." She said, burying Gaara's arm into her chest.
The result being Gaara having to hold Tenten back with no small amount of strength as she clawed at the giggling raven haired girl.
"Man, how does Gaara make dating so complicated?" Naruto pondered allowed.
"Ha! Okay, kettle." Ino quickly answered.
"Whaddya mean?" Naruto asked with a true innocence.
"...Aren't you actively trying to kill my ex-husband?" Ino asked in fear that the other blonde had truly forgotten.
"Oh, yeah!" Naruto replied in true remembrance.
'Oh yeah, he says.' Ino held the bridge of her nose in genuine frustration. 'What have you gotten yourself into Yamanaka?'
"Man and I thought I was the lady killer of the four of us...Ahem." Kiba cleared his throat at the utmost level to gather the group's attention. "As much as I love to third wheel, I believe we had a disaster we were sifting through."
"The "disaster" is kinda smeared all over my front lawn to be fair." Sasuke sadly pointed out.
"Oh, go sulk in it. Did you ever figure out Kakashi's hint or what?" Kiba directed his question at Gaara.
'Meet him where we very first met, huh?'
"Hm. He looked to Naruto who seemed to be thinking the same thing.
"Yeah." Naruto said. "We got a clue."
xXx
14 years Ago, East Konoha
"Garra. Gaara! Dude, look at her!" Naruto Shouted in a hushed voice. The woman in question showing more skin than either boy had collectively ever seen. "I mean can she even walk around like that?!"
"Quiet you idiot, before someone hears us! We're not even supposed to be here in the first place."
"I have as much right to be here as the next guy. I don't know why you're being so weird about it."
"Beacause you're being an idiot about it."
"How can you be so uptight?" A 13 year old Naruto still managed to be loud as hell even after lowering his voice to a "whisper."
"I'm not uptight. I'm just-"
"Do you boys typically skulk around where you shouldn't?"
Gaara jumped from his skin as a foreign hand found his shoulder and Naruto's blood ran cold when he realized they'd been caught.
"N-No Mr. We where just passing by!" Naruto tried to speed explain.
"Yeah. We just so happen to pick this up, guess somebody left it." Gaara tucked away the item in question behind his back.
"Just happened upon it huh?"
"That's right." Gaara said with a cold stare. No random old dude was going to intimidate him just because he was a kid.
"That's funny. Because last I checked there's only four people in this *Ahem* establishment. The cashier, myself, and you two punks. And uh, you happen to have the last copy of that Icha Icha magazine. So if you don't mind." The older man held out hand as if to say:
"Give it here." This after all was the only Icha Icha outlet in the entire city and like hell if he was going to miss out on this months issue because a couple of brats we're experiencing puberty.
"Not a chance old man!" Regardless of the mans white hair "old" didn't seem like an accurate description by Naruto, as the man was quite young and had the scarf he was wearing not been blocking his jaw line, some might assume he was quite handsome as well. But it did serve as a petty enough insult anyway.
"Well then how about this 'old man' just turns you into the cashier?" The man was fed up with the two by this point, he just wanted to buy his smut and go on about his life before having to go back to a rather stressful work life.
Naruto looked to Gaara as they wave of adrenaline washed over him. They'd really been backed into a corner and they both knew what they must do.
"Run!"
xXx
Footnotes: Thanks for reading as always. I'll try to come back a bit sooner this time. (6k takes me longer than it used too) in the mean time drop a review and let me know what you think.
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