Two Halves

Shanks shook his head as his senses returned to him, his eyes quickly scanning the surroundings from under the short curtain of red hair, matted to his head thanks to the seawater: he was, luckily enough, on a beach, with no sign of other people, nor any remnant of his ship.

How am I meant to reach the One Piece if my ship crashed in the East Blue, the weakest of the seas? He clenched his left fist as he slowly rose to his feet, a self-deprecating grin appearing on his features while his free hand checked for the presence of his straw-hat.

He let out a relieved sigh when he found the headwear entrusted to him by the late captain, and adjusted it so that it cast some shade over his eyes: the sea was several meters behind him, he didn't need to turn in order to be sure, while the beach where he stood trailed off in a quiet looking forest. The canopy was sparse enough to allow for a respectable undergrowth, and his right hand casually closed around the hilt of the sword he carried at his side: maybe he could cut it all? It was clear that he needed to become stronger in order to have a chance.

"Wait..." he stopped as he took a step forward, his head on a swivel, "Where's Buggy?"

Now that he looked for it, he spotted it: just where the waves kept coming and going, there was a pair of legs. A pair of very still legs: "Oh no!"

In a flash of movement, he was by Buggy's feet and began to drag him out of the shallow water, only to openly gape in horror: under the glare of the sun that tore through the skies cleared by the storm that cost him his boat, Shanks was looking at the legs of his amnesiac First Mate. Only the legs.

With a splinter as thick as the red-hair wrist poking out of the left calf.

With grief and defeat already settling in his heart, Shanks pulled the splinter free, and the leg in question jerked up, delivering a surprise kick that nailed him on the chin with a solid *thud*.

Falling on his ass, the red-haired pirate could only watch through his temporary daze as the pair of legs jumped up and started to run in a random direction, only to smack precisely against the very first tree of the sarse forest that began when the beach ended.

The pair of legs slumped for a second, only to backtrack and stomp the feet angrily, and to make small jumps on the balls of its feet.

Well, Buggy's alive. And given the behavior of the legs, the red-haired pirate couldn't help but laugh out loud: "And he smacked on that tree with his balls."

I regained consciousness with a wracking feeling of pain running through my legs.

I jumped upright only for my body to fall on the side, my arms flailing wildly while I instinctively tried to maintain my balance: my hands impacted almost painfully against the wooden floor as I let out a startled scream: "Aaargh!"

With my eyes still failing to focus, I felt something being pulled away from my left calf, and it caused me to give a full-body shudder while I followed my first impulse and kicked about, checking if I still had control over...

Three things became immediately apparent when I fully took stock of the situation: one, fishermen of any kind were running away from me like headless chickens, it was sunny, with a crisp air that made me perk up despite the bone-deep tiredness that pervaded me, and my legs... weren't with me.

Just after my waist, where my hips should have began, there was nothing, only the perfect cut that could only be the result of the Bara Bara no Mi acting up: I managed to get my hands under my torso and to turn me upright while I focused on my lower half. I managed to get my legs on their feet, and since I more or less could tell the direction they were in, I turned them, and began to run.

Only to be sucker punched in the balls while my breath left my lungs and I fell face first against the rough wood: "Ugh!"

I remained still for one second while I focused the entirety of my mind on my legs, getting them to stomp about and jump a little, trying to make my balls go down from my throat and back where they belonged: "How does it even work..?"

While I was wheezing on the ground, an authoritative female voice called to me: "Hey, you, with the red-nose!"

I tilted my head against the rough wood of the port quay I was sprawled over in order to observe the newcomer: in a white marine uniform, next to me stood a relatively slim woman with long fuchsia hair tied in a ponytail, grey eyes, and a rather unique hairstyle similar to a mohawk. All in all, she looked like she was in her twenties.

"Really?" I had some vague memory of her, wasn't she part of Nami's backstory or some such tripe? What were the odds that I'd meet her? "Red-Nose is what you go with?" I couldn't help but laugh at the ever-growing amount of absurdities that kept piling in my life: "Ahahahah, I mean, the lack of legs is a bit more striking, isn't it?"

Her eyes were narrowed at me while she casually held one hand over the gun she had holstered at her hip and took a breath that made the red on the tip of her lit cigarette shine ominously: "You're raising a ruckus, what's your excuse?"

I coughed while I managed to balance myself on my hands. Why can't I float? Buggy did that in the manga, didn't he? "Caught up in a storm, and I awoke here."

I frowned as I felt something poke my right tight, and I instinctively kicked in that direction only for my legs to wobble as they lost their balance, only to be steadied by a pair of hands that grabbed my hip bones. Could it be Shanks?

"You managed to go straight into the freak storm of that night?" the marine seemed unimpressed, "You must be a really lousy sailor."

From the ground, I could only make the approximation of a shrug while I eyed up at her: "I mean, can't you guess what my profession is?" I immediately began to bullshit as I split my focus, my left foot pointed forward for a second before taking a step, and the hand on my right side pushed a pit, making my calf scrape against what felt like a tree while I completed a step.

"Some sort of a failed clown, obviously." the marine snorted derisively, dragging my focus back to where my torso was: "How are you alive without your... lower pieces?"

"It's the final act of my performance." I snarked, not really enjoying being in pieces who knows where on an insland. Wasn't there a samurai who learned how to talk in farts? I had no idea how to accomplish something like that, which left me with the uncomfortable option of needing to ask for help: "You should see what I can do with all of myself put together."

"You mean I have to expect another terrified mob running from your smarter half?" the marine placed her hands on her hips and took another long drag from her cigarette: "I have better things that I need to be doing!"

They don't know I'm a pirate, do they? Clearly they didn't, as the marine was sort of interrogating me without openly threatening my poor upper half... "Wait, did you just call me a dickhead?"

"What if I did?"

"I'd feel like pointing out how you're the one with a cock's crest instead of normal hair over their head." leaning my cut torso on the rough wood, I extended a hand to shake: "I'm Buggy, just a lowly clown, who're you?"

And while my legs were more or less helped through a wild, bumpy stretch of terrain, the marine rolled her eyes and shook my hand with a taunting smirk around her lit cigarette: "You're lowly enough, that's for sure... I'm Petty Officer Bell-mère."

"Well, Petty Officer..." my smile widened as I finally had a name to go with the face, "Is there a chance that part of your duties to allow these fine folks to work freely is to take me away from here?"

As my stomach growled angrily, I casually touched the sash at my waist, where I found a small roll of Beris: "And that you'll show me somewhere we can eat a lot paying very little? Also, can I borrow a cigarette? I kind of need a smoke right now."

"What a needy clown." she snorted derisively as she turned back and began to walk away, "You have hands, don't you? Walk on those!"

Well, I wasn't shot because I 'raised a ruckus', so that's a win. Hobbling behind the pink-haired marine, still trying to keep some form of focus on my moving legs, I found myself grinning, drunk on the mere fact that I wasn't dead. The memory of that storm and of me laughing in the face of it was seared into my very soul, so it was with a grateful smile that I followed the tones ass of the woman in front of me. When in doubt, try. I hadn't been dropped into Buggy's body at the beginning of Shanks's adventure, I didn't survive a freak storm, only to half-ass the rest of my life: "Say, is a smoke after sex a thing on this island?"

Without turning, the woman let out another derisive bout of laughter: "Even if you lack your lower half, it surely seems it's doing all the thinking, dickhead."

AN

Well, I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint too much: one difficulty with playing in the One Piece sandbox is that its absolutely massive, so I have to make the interactions as on point as possible, while not skimping out on describing the first time something happens: I planned out a lot of the fic, and the recruiting of the crewmembers (canon and non) will happen in a chapter each, while I keep up the adventuring. We'll see how it goes, yes?

I've recently felt a sudden inspiration for everything that is One Piece related: mostly, I was reminded of this story when I realized that in order to not outright murder what Oda is doing, I have to play with the events before Luffy gets the Gomu Gomu no Mi, otherwise I'd find myself going against the indomitable spirit of the manga that made a 180 turn and became all about predestination and fate.

I actually never watched the anime, nevermind the movies: I've always only read the manga. With the soon-to-be-available movie about Shanks, however (and the spoilers of that plot sound stupider than ever), I realized that I didn't have to make up completely the abilities of the entire crew. Besides the differences caused directly or not by Buggy, I'll be able to take characters that exist as more than random faces in the manga, and to make use of them.

I remind everyone that Gol. D. Roger was just executed in this fic, so I've got a massive amount of time to fill: still, I hope I manage to make the adventure original and not boring.

This chapter is more to make me return to the vibe of this story, let me know what you think!

PS: check my profile for the other One-Piece stories.