A/N: And now, Chapter 2.

Beautifully Broken

Chapter 2: Darkness Closes In

"Mac, are we going to be okay?"

"No, we're not, Harm."

Mac rolled over in bed and realized she was freezing. Her one blanket wasn't enough to warm her anymore, so she tried to grab for the rest of the bedding.

That action reminded her of where she was and what had happened overnight. She bit back a groan, remembering the words she and Harm had exchanged. Lord, they'd been awful to each other. Not awful like they'd been in Paraguay, but awful, nonetheless. Half of what they said hadn't even made much sense…

Once again, they hadn't been clear with each other. She hadn't given him an explanation of why she'd said the things she'd said in Paraguay; he hadn't given an explanation as to why he was suddenly speaking to her again, even speaking as if he cared.

He does care, Sarah…

Well, he has a funny way of showing it…

Just as you do…it's not like you tried to talk it out with him…

I left seventeen messages…

True…I guess you've both fucked up…

Yes, they had fucked up. Fucked up utterly.

After she had told him they wouldn't be okay, he hadn't said anything more. She'd eventually drifted off into a restless slumber and realized she'd been awakened by the cold. The wind still howled, and she heard the sound of sleet and snow against the window. It seemed they wouldn't be going anywhere today either. Ugh…this was not going to go well.

Mac was shivering now; there didn't seem to be enough blankets to keep away the cold. She wondered how Harm was faring and reached over to turn on her lamp, flipping the switch a few times before she acknowledged the light didn't work.

"Power's out." She realized then that Harm had been standing by the window, peeking through the curtains. "No lights, and of course, no heat," he continued, motioning to the electric heating/cooling unit under the window. "The Interstate's still closed; looks like we're not going anywhere today, either."

Mac sat up, pulling the blankets up around herself. "Did you call the admiral and let him know?" she asked, trying to control the chattering of her teeth.

"I did."

"I also made it to the gas station across the parking lot to at least get some food and drinks. Got back just before the power went off."

"How long has the power been off?" she whispered around her chattering.

Harm shrugged. "Three, three and a half hours, maybe?" His tone was subdued, almost lifeless.

"You're telling me you went out at four-thirty in the morning?"

"Probably more like four."

Mac's mouth dropped open. What the hell had he been thinking? "Why, Harm?"

Harm shrugged again. "Couldn't sleep, and with the way the storm was going, I figured the power would eventually go out."

"Well…I'm glad you got us some supplies—"

"I didn't say I got any for you."

Mac's stomach dropped. Despite the state of their relationship, she'd never thought he'd be that petty. "Harm…"

Harm turned away from the window then and flashed her a tired grin. "I'm kidding, Mac. Of course, I got things for you…who knows how long we'll be here. I wouldn't want you to end up eating me!"

Mac rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Harm. Thanks for going out, though. I would imagine room service isn't happening today. How long is this supposed to last?" she asked, huddling more under her blanket.

"They said at the gas station it was supposed to start slowing down later in the afternoon. Hard to say how long it will be for the roads to open up."

"Oh…well…I guess I can c-catch up on s-s-leep," Mac stuttered out. She was shivering hard now and wondered how on earth Harm could just stand there so calmly. She maneuvered around in bed, trying to get under all of the covers, but was chagrinned to find that the bedding was still damp from her sweating through them the night before. "Dammit," she muttered under her breath.

"You can go ahead and climb into my bed, Mac. I'm fine out here."

"Harm—"

"There's bathrobes in the closet; I'd put one of those on if I were you."

"Harm—"

"There're chips and beef jerky there, some fruit; there's also a couple of Snickers bars—pace yourself though. I'm not going out again unless it's to leave here." He gave her a brief half-smile, then turned back to the window.

Mac studied him for a moment before sighing and scooting herself out of the bed. She hissed when the cold of the room really hit her, zooming to the closet and grabbing a robe before using the bathroom. Once she finished in there, she grabbed a bottle of water and the beef jerky and took up Harm on his offer of his bed. After quickly eating a couple of pieces of the dried meat and taking a few swallows of water, she snuggled down under the blankets. Eventually she drifted off again; it was easier just to sleep than make small talk with Harm.

"Hey, Mac…move over a bit. You're shivering again, and I'm cold, so let me in, okay?" Mac felt the mattress shift as Harm slid into bed with her. She scooted over and held herself rigid, not wanting to encroach on his personal space. Unfortunately, being rigid didn't get her any warmer, so she continued to shake while her teeth chattered.

"Maaac…come on. We're both freezing. Sharing our body heat doesn't change anything or mean anything, but I'd really like to not freeze to death, okay?"

After hesitating enough to make Harm roll his eyes, she nodded. They scooted toward each other and Harm wrapped himself around her much like he had in Afghanistan. His leg was resting over her hip and her head rested on his chest, just below his chin. The two were quiet while Mac listened to the sound of Harm's heart beating in her ear.

"Remind you of anything?" Harm whispered, and his breath ruffled her hair.

"Afghanistan."

"Uh-huh." Mac felt Harm's hold tighten around her. "I thought we'd get together after that."

Mac's eyes filled with tears. She'd thought that too. "Harm, don't…"

"What happened, Mac?"

"Harm…sometimes people just…grow apart."

"They do…but that's not us, Mac."

"Oh?"

"If it were just about us growing apart, I…I wouldn't be so…"

"So what, Harm?" Mac asked when Harm didn't continue after several seconds. He answered with a sigh.

"What, Harm?"

"I wouldn't be so mad at you."

"Oh."

"Mac…I'm sorry, I—"

"Harm, it's okay. I get it."

"I don't think you do."

"What's not to get? You're mad. I fucked up our relationship. You have every right to hate me. Sometimes I hate me too."

"Maaac…"

"But you didn't fight me."

"I didn't think you wanted me to."

Mac heaved her own sigh. "I guess I didn't at the time."

"And now?"

"It's too late to fight."

Harm let out a long, slow breath, then abruptly rolled away from her and out of the bed.

"Harm—"

"I'm going to the bathroom," he said shortly and then disappeared into the dark.

When Harm returned, Mac feigned sleep, even when he pressed his body against her back and wrapped his arm around her.

"Why is it too late?" Harm's voice rumbled in her ear.

"What?"

"Why is it too late?" Harm repeated and Mac closed her eyes.

"It just is."

"That's not a reason."

"Oh, I need to tell you a reason, but you don't?" she snapped, scooting away from him.

"I thought you would have figured it out. Why else would I have—"

"Just stop, Harm. Stop. I'm tired…so tired of people throwing their lives away for me. John, Mic, Webb…you…I've ruined enough lives without even trying. I make these…choices, and people get dragged along. I don't want to do it anymore…honestly, I'm not even sure want to be in the Marines anymore."

Harm abruptly sat up and she could read the utter shock in his eyes. "What?! Mac, come on."

"Harm, I'm sure I'll stick it out until I have my twenty, and then…"

"But Mac, you love being a marine!"

"Do I? Maybe I'd just like to move to some little town, have a couple of kids, and just be normal."

"And who's going to father your kids? Webb?" Harm's voice dripped with contempt and Mac wanted to either cry or beat Harm into a bloody pulp. She settled for just telling where he could go.

"Fuck off, Harm."

"Oh, that's nice, Mac."

"For your information, Webb and I weren't a thing in Paraguay, we aren't a thing now, and we will never be a thing, so I'll thank you not to keep bringing him up. I don't want to see him, talk about him, or hear about him. Ever. Bring him up again, and I'll break your jaw. Is that clear?"

"Mac…"

"I said, is that clear?" Mac's voice was low and dangerous, and she had every intention of following through on her threat if Harm didn't shut up about Clayton Webb.

She heard Harm swallow hard. "Yeah, Mac. Crystal."

Mac moved as far away from Harm as she could and still be on the bed. She'd have gone to the other one, but they'd pulled the bedspread from it for extra cover and now all that was left on it were the sheets.

"Hey, Mac," Harm started after all too few seconds of quiet. "Did Webb, uh, do…something…to you?"

That bastard.

White hot rage coursed through Mac. Her heart pounded in her ears and she saw red. Before she even knew it was happening, she flipped over and threw herself at Harm. Her fist connected with his jaw, but it wasn't a controlled punch, thus didn't cause much damage. She went for him again and this time he caught her wrists. She vaguely heard him shouting at her as she tried to break free. He told her to stop, to calm down, but her ire ran deep, and finally Harm rolled them both over until he covered her body with his. Mac still struggled and writhed beneath him, murderous intent in her heart, until finally Harm got nose to nose with her and shouted at her, loudly enough to shake the walls. Mac froze, her chest heaving, but Harm's weight on her constricted her breathing, and she started to panic.

"H-Harm. I can't…I can't…breathe…please." She pushed at him, weakly now, her rage spent. Harm still didn't move, likely not trusting her to not come after him again, and her panic grew.

"H-H-arm, get…get…off. Please," she gasped, tears running down toward her ears. "Please," she sobbed, and finally he rolled off of her. Mac lay there, pale and shaking, and before long she was hyperventilating.

"Mac…come on…let's sit up." He slid his arm underneath her shoulders and lifted her, her breaths coming in heavy pants. Her fingers were tingling and starting to cramp, while a metallic taste filled her mouth and her ears started to ring with the intensity of a siren. Mac knew Harm was talking to her, and though she tried, she couldn't focus on his words as darkness crept into her vision. She was certain she was going to faint.

"Mac, come on now, honey. Slow down. Slow down your breathing. Come on. That's it…that's it…

"You're okay. Slow breaths, now, sweetheart. Slow breaths…

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry I upset you. I won't hurt you. You're okay."

It took a good five minutes; for once she couldn't have said exactly, but Harm's words finally started to penetrate her panic. She heard his endearments but chose not to acknowledge them or even think too hard about them, but gradually she became aware of his big hand gently stroking down her back and across her shoulders. She wanted to throw it off of her, but it felt so good…

"That's better, Mac. Just relax. You're okay. You're okay."

Am I? How could I…what just happened?

"Mac…what just happened?" Harm asked, echoing her thoughts. She shrugged and shook her head. She didn't know either. All she knew was that Harm had asked about Webb and she'd suddenly seen fire.

Well, you did tell him not to mention Webb…

But that's no reason to assault the man…

"I—I don't know."

"I mentioned…him…and then you—"

"I know what I did, Harm."

"But what did he do, Mac?"

End Chapter 2