I'm sorry for the wait, guys!
I know it's not 2009 and liveblogging your life in the author's notes isn't the move anymore but I kind of got engaged to the love of my life (the Kurda to my Mika... minus all of the obvious problematic aspects lmfao) over the weekend so I've been ~unfocused~ to say the least! But don't you worry, I'm finishing this damn story. And my wedding isn't til 2022 so we've got time.
This chapter is very long, full of flashbacks, and easily the least sad in recent memory so congratulations, you guys are the real winners here. My gift to you.
Chapter 4: If I Had One, It'd Be Bigger Than Yours
Song:Kings & Queens by Ava Max (the official Gracie anthem)
If all of the kings had their queens on the throne
We would pop champagne and raise a toast
To all of the queens who are fighting alone
Baby, you're not dancin' on your own
SIX MONTHS AGO:
With only a month to go before Council opened, Kurda enjoyed something of a mental break where he was too busy to spare much extra thought to his upcoming treasonous plot. Everyone seemed to be complaining about something, and Paris was ill. Nothing major, but Mika and Arrow had both ordered him to take some time off so he'd be ready for Council and the old Prince reluctantly agreed.
Anyway, Kurda's to-do list was a mile long that day and on top of everything else, he couldn't find Mika anywhere. Arrow was fuming because he was late for a meeting but he couldn't leave the Hall of Princes because Mika hadn't showed up to swap places with him and seemed to be ignoring both Mika and Kurda's attempts at telepathic outreach. And of course Arrow never got properly pissed at his darling Mika, so Kurda bore the brunt of the tattooed Prince's impatience. Because that's completely fair. So Kurda found himself pacing the mountain irritably, on the hunt for his misplaced co-parent. Who, by the way, he was most definitely no longer even in a relationship with at this point.
When Kurda neared the entrance to the Hall of Rush Flon'x, he heard Mika's voice coming from within the room and felt a rush of relief. Mika was laughing, and based on the soft metallic swishing noise he was clearly doing something that involved swords. No wonder he tuned out their mental messages, he always kept a laser focus when working with his beloved sharp objects (as Kurda called them). He was probably giving his preferred Generals a tuning-in before the council began. If his trainees fought favourably, it would reflect well upon Mika so he never minded taking time to help them hone their skills.
But then a familiar voice reached Kurda's ears and he paused before opening the door. He felt a hot stab of indignance; it wasn't a General in there with Mika. It was Gracie. Fifteen-year-old-human-Gracie.
"You don't have to grip it quite that hard." Mika was saying. "Relax your arm, you won't have as much control of the swing if you're tense. There you go! Okay, swing at me again from the left - good - see how I blocked you? I kept my arms low so it doesn't interfere with my line of vision. If you were in a real fight, any loss of vision could be deadly."
"Oh, yeah! That totally makes sense! Heads up, I'm gonna try it again." Gracie replied, her voice brimming with excitement. But Kurda, still listening behind the door, didn't care. There were rules about this. Kurda didn't even want her in these stupid sporting halls to begin with but he'd reached a compromise with her. They agreed could learn staff work and basic self-defence. Nothing with blades.
Kurda had been VERY specific about that. But Mika hadn't exactly been helpful, he'd been much too excited when Gracie asked him if she could start learning sword work.
And of course that left Kurda to play bad cop, because no way in hell would he let his daughter get a taste of the violence that the entire vampire clan seemed to thrive on. And it would be too much to ask for the mighty Mika Ver Leth, who could pass out an execution sentence to a vampire at the drop of a hat, to say no to his daughter. She was still a human and Kurda was desperate for her to stay that way. She was just as determined and clever as Mika was and Kurda was terrified if she started learning too much about that sort of thing she'd end up enjoying it. And then it would become almost impossible to convince her she'd be happier as a human in the long run.
Gods fucking damn you, Mika... Kurda thought angrily as he swung the door open.
The first thing he noticed was that Gracie was using one of Mika's more ornamental swords, a flashy gold-plated thing with diamonds in the handle. He supposed Mika had chosen it for her because it was smaller and lighter than most of his others. But Kurda still recalled the time he'd borrowed it for a sparring "date" and although Mika allowed him to use it, he cringed quietly the entire time. Particularly when Kurda accidentally dropped it. He loved those stupid fucking swords. No wonder he looked like he was fully in his element right now, happier than Kurda had seen him in years. And the worse part was Gracie looked equally happy as Mika showed her a slowed-down version of a drill he often ran with his trainees. She was watching him with complete focus and clearly absorbing all of it like a sponge. Neither of them noticed Kurda standing there.
"Are you fucking KIDDING me, Mika?!" Kurda snarled. He watched the light die from Mika's eyes as he realized he was busted. He turned to face Kurda, running his hand tiredly through his hair.
"Kurda, there's no need to get angry -" Mika began but Kurda had absolutely no interest in whatever explanation he was about to offer.
"Isn't there?!" Kurda roared. "We made a compromise! You made a promise to me! She's not a fucking vampire! She doesn't need to know how to run a sword through somebody!"
Mika rolled his eyes. Kurda could've punched him in the head for that, but he figured that wouldn't be very pacifist of him so he restrained himself.
"I'm not teaching her how to run a sword through somebody, Kurda." Mika replied tersely. "Sword work is an ancient art form. It doesn't have to be inherently violent."
"Yeah, humans even have their own version. It's at the Olympics and everything, it's called fencing-" Gracie added hopefully.
"I know what fencing is! What you two are doing is NOT fencing! I'm not an idiot!" Kurda snapped at her abruptly, and immediately regretted it. Her face fell so quickly it broke his heart. She took a step closer to Mika and at the same moment he took a step closer to her as well. Mika looked incensed over the fact that Kurda had just yelled in their daughter's face. But he knew however pissed off Mika was, it couldn't hold a candle to how angry Kurda was at himself in that moment. But it was too late to backpedal now.
"Kurda, if you don't trust me to safely teach her something I am better at doing than any literally other vampire in this clan, I don't really know what to tell you. Other than to give your head a shake, perhaps?" Mika replied. His tone was still annoyingly calm but there was a distinct bite to it.
"I'm not questioning your skills. Charna's Guts, I know you're the best! The whole gods damned world knows you're the best!" Kurda growled. "That is not my issue with this! My issue is that you're doing something you promised not to do!"
"I asked him to teach me, okay? I kept asking until he finally agreed!" Grace spoke up again. There was a fierce new gleam in her eyes and for a moment Kurda felt like he had two Mikas glaring back at him. The actual Mika gently put his hand on Gracie's shoulder.
"I appreciate your honesty but you're not the adult here, Grace." Said Kurda stiffly. "This is between your dad and I."
"You can't just act like I'm not even here!" She yelled back, visibly frustrated. "I wanted to learn! Why are you so against everything? Dad just wanted to help me, what's so wrong with that?"
"You don't have to defend me. It's okay." Mika told her quietly. "Why don't you go find Seba? See if he needs help getting ready for council."
"But Dad-"
"Grace, it's time to go." said Mika, softly but firmly.
"Fine."
"You did great. I'll talk to you later." Mika added, giving her a quick smile before she turned and walked out of the room. She tossed Kurda a quick glare on her way and he sighed.
"I'm sorry, Gracie." Kurda groaned helplessly but she didn't respond. Mika glared at him until the door closed and she was out of earshot.
"You can't bubble wrap her, Kurda." Said Mika the second the door slammed. "I know better than anyone how much you want to protect her but there's a right and a wrong way to do it. She feels like a spectator in our world, and in the human world too. She doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere."
"Of course she fits in with the human world." Kurda spat. "She has a thousand friends. She's on all the sports teams. She's-"
"I know all of that. But that doesn't mean she feels at home there!" Mika retorted.
"How would you know?!" Said Kurda.
"Because she fucking told me!" Mika shouted. "She actually talks to me!"
"She talks to me too!" Kurda argued furiously.
"But do you listen?" Said Mika, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
"Of course I listen! That's my daughter! Mika, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Oh, right. You have to listen in case she says even one remotely positive about the clan, so you can come back with a thousand reasons we're all disgusting loathsome monsters and she'd be better off literally anywhere else." Said Mika icily. "Kurda, you know I don't necessarily want her life to look like ours either. I've never disagreed with you about that. But when you come right out and say it like that, all she hears is that you don't want her to actually be a part of your family."
Kurda felt a deep ache in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't muster an argument because he knew Mika was right. He knew he'd been pushing her away all summer as a result of the storm he knew was coming. It was blinding him to everything else.
"That's why, no matter how much I want her to hold on to her humanity and live happily and comfortably, to never have to worry about the things we worry about... we're still her family. She didn't choose us, but we chose her. You can't fault her for wanting to feel like part of the clan. I will never, ever make her feel like she doesn't have a choice." Mika continued. His voice was calm and even once again but lightning flashed in his eyes. It was all Kurda could to to stare back at him, breathing heavily as his mind raced. Mika gave him one last glare, then turned to head off to the armoury so he could return the swords they'd been using, but he paused for a moment.
"And Kurda, if the years go by and she actually decides she does want this life, if she wants our blood in her veins once she's old enough to fully understand what it means..." Mika took a deep breath and shot Kurda one last venomous glare. "...I'd be fucking honoured."
Can't live without me, you wanna' but you can't, nah-nah-nah
Think it's funny, but honey, can't run this show on your own
I can feel my body shake, there's only so much I can take
I'll show you how a real queen behaves, oh
PRESENT DAY:
It didn't take long for Kurda to entirely lose track of time after leaving Vampire Mountain. He stopped counting the days. He stopped trying. He stopped caring. He just wandered through the wilderness and longed to disappear. He purposely put his body through the ringer. He waited too long between feedings, he exposed himself to some of the harshest elements on the planet and relished the agony. He deserved it. Because no matter how much pain he was in, he knew Mika was hurting worse. And it was his fault. He did that.
There'd been the tiniest fraction of a moment right before Kurda was led from the Hall of Princes for the last time where he'd locked eyes with Arrow and fired some desperate parting words across their mental connection:
KS: Get him through this. Keep him safe. Promise me.
A: I will. But you can be damn sure I'm not doing it for you. Go to hell.
KS: That's the plan. Goodbye, Arrow.
Hell was truly the most apt description for it. By the time Kurda stumbled into civilization, three months later, he could barely walk. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into some warm, dark corner and leave this world behind. When he finally collapsed in a cold alleyway, his fall barely broken by a snow drift, he was certain he was dying. And what a sweet relief that was. He thought one more time about Gracie and wished he could've had just five minutes to tell her that even despite everything, he loved her so fiercely it hurt and he would have given anything in the world to spare her of the pain he'd caused.
Mika hadn't deserved to be put through this but he was an adult vampire, he'd pledged his full service to the clan a long time ago. Service including but not limited to suffering or even dying for the greater good. He knew what he was getting into. Maybe not the treason part, but he knew danger would always be par for the course to some extent. The life of a Vampire Prince is almost like a marriage - for better or worse, that title and the accompanying responsibilities had always been the true love of Mika's life.
So yes, Mika had deserved better. But Gracie should never have been part of their dark, gruesome world in the first place. For the first time in his life, Kurda wondered if she'd have been better off if they'd gone with the original plan and left her at the mercy of the orphanage. Maybe she would've been one of the lucky ones and been adopted by a family who had loving arms, a safe house, and enough food. Maybe she would have been fine. Maybe she could have grown up believing that vampires were only real in the pages of books or flickering movie screens. Maybe she would have been happier if she'd never heard of Mika Ver Leth or Kurda Smahlt. That was the last thing Kurda thought about before he closed his eyes against the driving snow and hoped he'd never open them again.
No damsel in distress, don't need to save me
Once I start breathin' fire, you can't tame me
And you might think I'm weak without a sword
But if I had one, it'd be bigger than yours
Grace didn't get a minute of sleep the night Mika arrived unexpectedly at the school with the worst news she'd ever heard in her life. She was glad she had a single dorm room that year. She didn't have a roommate to ask why she arrived in tears at 2am. No one to watch awkwardly as she spent three hours with a pocket knife picking out every single thread where the name "Smahlt" was embroidered on the back of her track hoodie until only "Ver Leth" remained. She'd later explain it away as a messy divorce. But her friends would have no idea. They never had, and they never would. That was just the hand she'd been dealt in life.
Around the middle of that impossible conversation, she heard Mika tell her that Arra Sails, the first female role model in her life, had been struck down in the battle of Vampire Mountain. She acknowledged it at the time but Kurda's betrayal was naturally at the forefront of her mind. The loss of Arra truly didn't sink in til hours later when she was sitting on her bed looking up at her shelf of various athletic trophies and medals and she suddenly realized that she'd never see her hero again. Arra had always been so proud of her athletic prowess. Grace had never trained in Vampire Mountain as intensely as a true vampire would, but the training she did have set her apart from other humans. She'd wanted to branch out; she spent hours last summer in the sporting halls with Arra, learning the ways of the bars. She still had a long way to go, but she could still clearly remember the final day they trained together.
THREE MONTHS AGO:
"I can't exactly compare you to anyone else I've ever trained." Arra told her frankly as they sat down side-by-side on the long wooden bench by the wall. "You're fully human, you don't have the reflexes or strength of a vampire. And until you, I've only ever trained vampires."
"I see." Gracie replied, raising her eyebrow. "Fair enough, I guess."
Then Arra smiled.
"But with that said, you should be proud of yourself. You may be a human, but your progress has impressed me nonetheless." Arra added. "You have excellent balance, and by human standards you're very quick on your feet. And you're cool-headed like your dad."
"Which dad?" Gracie asked with a wayward grin, already knowing.
Arra wrinkled her nose and Gracie laughed.
"Which one do you think?" Arra snorted.
"Not Kurda."
"Clever girl!" Arra cackled. Everyone, including Gracie, knew full well that Arra didn't have the highest opinion of Kurda. Especially not since he'd been nominated for investiture. She respected him as a vampire of good standing but that was about it.
"No matter how much you look like Kurda, I see more Mika in you every day." Arra added much more seriously. "The funniest part is the fact that you don't share DNA with either of them, but destiny is strange that way."
"Maybe that's why I fought with him so much this summer." Grace replied with the faintest hint of bitterness. "Kurda, that is. It's like he has a problem with me doing anything remotely vampire-ish. He was so pissed when he found out my other dad started training me on sword work. If he had his way he wouldn't even have let me train with you at all. I don't know what he expected me to do all summer! Sit in my cell alone and read?"
"Probably. Kurda's always been more than a little unconventional, to say the least." Said Arra. "I respect him but I don't pretend to understand what goes on underneath all that pretty blond hair. I suppose that means you won't be joining the clan anytime soon."
Grace let out a humourless laugh.
"Don't even bring that up in front of him, he'll throw you off a cliff for even suggesting it."
"I'd like to see him try!" Arra snorted. "What does Mika think about it? Actually, scratch that. What do YOU think about it?"
"I don't know if I want to be a vampire or not." Said Gracie honestly. "At least Dad - Mika - said its my choice. But he admitted he'll be happier if I stay human."
"That's fair. We can't fault him for wanting a softer life for you. What we have isn't for everyone. But he's right, it's your choice and yours alone. Once you're an adult." Arra commented evenly.
"The clan is my family. I have my human friends, but Vampire Mountain will always be home. I don't know. I like the idea of living to be 800 years old, but I also like the idea of having a successful job, a nice house, and an expensive car. If I stay human, I want to be a lawyer. Maybe have a family, if I accomplish all my other goals first... I like the idea of adopting kids." Gracie explained, smiling again.
"Excellent idea." Said Arra. "I've seen you out-argue both of your dads and they're two of the best arguers I've ever seen in my life. You have the best of both of them, you know that?"
"Really?"
"Absolutely. And I don't say that lightly. You're fierce, confident, and smart like Mika. You take no shit from anyone. You're going to succeed at whatever you do."
"Thanks, Arra. That means a lot, especially coming from you."
"No need to thank me for speaking the truth. And as for Kurda... even I can find something to compliment there. He is kind and compassionate. Not necessarily traits the clan values, I'll admit that. But you're not a vampire. And speaking as someone who cares about you, I'm glad those are qualities he instilled in you. Kurda is also stubborn, possibly more so than Mika. He is unapologetically himself, that much is certain. I don't agree with his political views but I respect the fact that he never wavers no matter what anyone tells him. If you live your life with as half much determination as he does, you'll conquer the world."
Gracie nodded slowly, taking it all in. Arra had always been quietly supportive, but she usually wasn't so forthcoming. That was simply Arra's way. Gracie had been honoured the legendary vampiress took time to train her at all.
"And no matter where you go, I'll be on your side." Arra continued firmly. "You've earned my respect and you'll always have it. You're family to me. And not just because you're Mika's kid! If you were a nasty brat, I wouldn't give you the time of day no matter who your dad is." She finished with a mischievous smirk. They laughed together for several minutes.
"I'm going to miss this." Said Gracie quietly, looking up at the bars.
"Well, start counting down until next summer." Said Arra, smiling slyly.
"What? You'd come back to the mountain that soon?" Gracie asked, taken aback. She knew Arra preferred not to spend much time in the mountain. She was happiest when travelling.
"Between you and me, I might not leave after council." Replied Arra, arching her eyebrows. "Everything's a little up in the air. It'll depend on a few things."
"Like?" Gracie pressed curiously, narrowing her eyes. Arra had a strange smile on her face, one Gracie hadn't seen before.
"Can we keep this between you and me?" Said Arra.
"My lips are sealed."
"Good. You're aware I used to be mated to Larten Crepsley many decades ago, right?"
"Yes." Gracie cringed. "That phrase... mating... will never not be weird to me. No offence."
"None taken." Said Arra lightly. "Anyway, Larten will be showing up here any day now and I know for a fact that Seba is planning on offering him the position of Quartermaster so he can retire."
"Really? I knew Seba wanted to retire. But last I heard, Dad and Paris were going over some potential people but I didn't realize he'd chosen someone. What does that have to do with you?"
Arra chuckled.
"You're a smart girl, think about it."
Then it clicked.
"If Larten stays in the mountain, you will too!"
"I knew you'd figure it out." Said Arra with a wry smile. "Only if Larten wants me to, that is."
"He'll want you to." Grace affirmed.
"Yes, he will." Arra agreed proudly. There was definitely an unusual sparkle in her eye.
"Didn't you have a thing with my dad once?" Grace asked cautiously after a pause.
"Indeed." Arra chortled, grinning wickedly. "Mika and I go way back. A thing was had, at one point. In the end I just wasn't pretty enough for him, I guess! We can't all be Kurda Smahlt. Thank the gods for that."
Grace rolled her eyes and elbowed Arra playfully.
"I thought it didn't work out because you were better on the bars than him." She snorted.
"Hah! That probably had something to do with it! Being second-best never agreed with him."
"I've noticed."
"We had feelings for each other a few times over the decades, but we never seemed to be in synch." Arra explained with an unconcerned shrug. "But that's life. He'll always be family to me. And human or vampire, so will you." Then she dropped her voice by several octaves and Grace had to lean closer to hear her.
"But personally, I hope vampire." Arra added with a wink.
They sat together for a few more minutes, laughing and joking until their hunger got the better of them and they made their way to the Hall of Khledon Lurt. Once they arrived, Arra was hailed by some fellow Generals who'd just arrived, and Grace went to sit with Mika and Paris who were waving at her from the other side of the room. She figured she'd catch up with Arra one last time to say a proper goodbye before going back to school, but Larten, Darren, and Harkat would arrive the following day, chaos would take over, and they wouldn't get the chance.
She didn't know it would be the last time she ever saw Arra.
The two and a half months between hearing the news of Kurda's treachery, and the start of her Christmas break felt like an eternity. She'd never been so happy to see Mika when he showed up to bring her home.
Upon her return to Vampire Mountain, it took her all of five minutes to run to her room, dump her backpack on the floor, and hustle down to the Hall of Baker Wrent to resume training right where she'd left off the last time she worked with Arra.
It took Darren all of thirty seconds to put his entire foot in his mouth the second she walked through the door.
Darren was training on the bars (the lower ones) with Harkat nervously hovering below, in case he needed to catch him. The bars were growing on Darren. They reminded him of Arra. He liked to imagine her at his side, egging him on with gentle taunts and snappy advice. She sure would've gotten a laugh out of the way he almost stumbled flat on his face when he turned to see Grace had suddenly materialized below him. To be honest, he'd mainly forgotten about Mika and Kurda's adopted daughter and the short but pleasant conversation he'd had with her. He'd been in the midst of a great personal crisis the day he met her, and the rest of his life more or less blew up immediately after. If not for the fact he heard Mika mention her every now and then, Darren might have wondered if his conversation with her had been a stress hallucination.
But no, there she was in person. She looked about the same but there was a slightly tougher expression on her face than the last time. Darren supposed high school was hard. He wouldn't know, though.
"Grace! You're back?!" He greeted her, hopping down from the bars.
"Merry Christmas. It's the first day of holidays." She replied with an aloof but sincere smile that Darren now recognized from hours spent with Mika. Was she sure she was adopted?
It occurred to him that Harkat hadn't been around for his first encounter with her before the Festival.
"Grace, this is Harkat." Said Darren with a wide smile. "He's a Little Person." He added redundantly. She laughed breezily.
"I talk to my dad on the phone once a week. I know all about Harkat Mulds! Pleased to meet you. I've heard good things!" She said to the Little Person, firmly shaking his hand.
"Pleasure is... mine." Said Harkat with a lopsided smile.
If Darren had thought it through, he would've kept his mouth shut and let Grace introduce herself. But he didn't think it through at all.
"Harkat, this is Grace Smahlt-Ver Leth." He continued unconcernedly. Then he watched her face cloud over and immediately realized his grave error in judgement.
"It's just Ver Leth now." She replied cooly.
Darren groaned inwardly.
"Sorry. I didn't think about that..."
She rolled her eyes and smiled again. When she smiled like that, she suddenly looked more like Kurda and Darren felt his heart ache all over again at the thought of his exiled friend, and everything else that happened during those days.
"It didn't occur to you to ask if I'd chosen to erase one of my dad's last names from my identity after he was found guilty of mass treason against he entire clan, murder, and an assassination plot against my other dad, uncle, and grandfather?" Grace asked sardonically.
The Ver Leth sarcasm was strong in this one, Darren realized immediately. His first impression of Mika all those months ago hadn't included a sense of humour but after a few weeks as colleagues, he realized that Mika most definitely had one. It was dry and dark and sarcastic, but it was a sense of humour nonetheless.
"I guess not." he mumbled with a weak laugh. "Again, really sorry."
"Don't worry about it." She shrugged. "At least I can be open about it here. I told my friends my parents got divorced - I was suddenly sad all the time so I needed to give them some sort of explanation. That was as close to the truth as I could get."
"It's hard living with a foot in both worlds." Said Darren quietly. "I did it once. It didn't last very long."
"Yeah... they have no idea what's out there. My best friend's parents split up a couple years ago so she thinks she understands... All I've heard the past three months is her ranting about her how she has to choose between spending Christmas in Aspen or Italy. Meanwhile I'm sitting there like, 'Sophie, my dad's a fucking war criminal. Shut up!'"
Darren frowned. Grace rolled her eyes.
"You can laugh. It's funny." She told him. Darren chuckled hollowly.
"I guess in some sick way, it's all a little funny." He admitted.
"I never felt like I was living a lie while I was living with humans, until this year." Grace continued frankly. "Like, I KNOW I'm a human but I don't feel like I am. But I'm not a vampire either. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be."
"Would you ever join the clan?" Darren asked cautiously. She sighed.
"I think about it probably more than I should, but I don't know. I brought it up last summer and my dad - Kurda - blew up. He always hated the idea of me becoming a vampire. But Mika basically said I can make my own decision once I'm an adult. He won't consider it til then."
"Yeah, they're really not into blooding minors. I learned that the hard way. Humanity has a lot going for it." Said Darren with a tired laugh.
"How've you been? Dad mentioned you got a promotion." She added offhandedly, walking away to take a wooden staff out of the large clay vase next to the bars which she began lazily spinning.
"You and your dad talk about me?" Darren asked, wincing slightly. "I always get the impression he doesn't like me."
"You'd know if he didn't like you!" She assured him.
"How?"
"He'd tell you!"
Harkat laughed wheezily. Grace paused in alarm at the unfamiliar sound, then laughed as well when she realized where it was coming from.
"But seriously, he thinks you're doing fine. As well as can be expected, anyway. He doesn't talk about you that much. If he really didn't like you, he'd complain about you a lot more." She shrugged with a half-smile.
"It's so cool you guys have a phone that works in Vampire Mountain! Mr. Crepsley told me there wouldn't be anything like that here." Said Darren enthusiastically. He knew all about the clunky old military device capable of picking up service anywhere on the planet.
"Yeah, Paris gave it to my dads before they sent me off to boarding school when i was six. He never would tell us what he had to do to get it... only that it was morally questionable."
The three of them laughed for a moment.
"I thought... such things... were illegal for... vampires? As is flitting... to the mountain." Harkat asked politely. "I mean no offense... just curious."
"It's alright!" Grace smiled. "Dad justifies it with two reasons. One: I'm not a vampire so their laws don't apply to me. Two: he's a Prince so he does what he wants. I'm not saying it's right, but what are they gonna do? Arrest him?"
They broke out in laughter once again. Darren hadn't had a good laugh in a couple of weeks. It felt good.
"I sure wouldn't want to be the one to tell him off! Honestly, I still find your dad super intimidating." Darren admitted with a rueful grin. "But please don't tell him that. I don't want to offend him."
Grace snorted loudly.
"Offend him? He'd think it's hilarious."
Darren frowned.
"Somehow, that feels worse."
"How's he doing?" She added, glancing thoughtfully over at Darren.
"You're asking me?!" Darren replied in alarm. He supposed he was sort of almost becoming friends with Mika at this point, but even though they were equals it was very hard to see Mika as anything but an imposing authority figure. Much less someone he chatted about feelings with.
"Well, you spend hours with him a day. I get a phone call once a week, so yeah. I'm asking you."
"It's hard to gauge, honestly." Darren admitted. "I didn't know him before all this."
"I guess."
"I think he's doing okay. Really." Darren added gently. "The first few months were rough... I think he struggled. But all of us did."
"Yeah... He was a mess when he came up to the school to give me the news a few months ago." Gracie replied slowly. "He was open with me about everything. But now, every time I ask him about himself he says he's doing fine and changes the subject."
"He probably doesn't want you to worry." Said Darren. "But we're kind of settling into a routine now. That helps. And we're really busy. Actually this is the first time in a few weeks I've had a chance to come down here and blow off some steam."
"You like the bars?" Asked Gracie.
"They're tricky but I'm starting to enjoy them." Said Darren. "Mr. Crepsley has shown me a couple of moves but he's not as good as Arra. Nobody was. I wish I got a chance to train with her."
"I trained with Arra all of last summer." Said Gracie with a wry grin. "I was really lucky. Obviously I'm not as good as a vampire would be, but she said I did well for a human."
"I don't doubt it." Said Darren, grinning back. He picked up a staff of his own. "Let's see what you can do!"
Harkat Mulds doesn't skip a beat. Earlier, Darren had been practicing on the bars very cautiously. He was getting good, but he was only as good as you could expect a young, inexperienced half-blood to be. After watching both Gracie and Darren for about twenty minutes, Harkat reached a clear conclusion. It wasn't fair to compare them to each other; Darren's vampire blood gave him an advantage, but Gracie was more competent for a human than Darren was for a vampire. So when he began blatantly showing off, Harkat was a more than a little amused.
This won't end well. Harkat thought to himself as he watched Darren windmilling his staff wildly. He was several levels higher than Grace. Being human, she was forced to respect physical limitations more than Darren so she never went more than ten feet up. Perhaps Darren should have respected his own limits a little more, but hindsight is 20/20.
Darren was in the zone. He'd never felt so alive. He wished this hall had mirrors so he could see if he looked as badass as he felt up there, leaping from bar to bar as effortlessly as a wildcat. If he was this agile now, just wait til he was fully blooded!
He recalled seeing something Arra did up here when he'd watched her fight at the Festival. A cool sort of one-handed flip where she launched herself off a bar and pulled herself into another using only the strength in her left arm so she didn't have to let go of her staff.
Darren decided to give it a shot. What could go wrong?
"Watch this! I've been practicing!" He hollered down at Grace and Harkat.
He lined himself up with the bar he wanted to jump to, took a deep breath, and launched. His hand hit its mark, but he vastly overestimated the amount of strength in his left arm. He hung on for about half a second before tumbling to the floor.
The impact hurt, but not as much as his pride. He was so thoroughly winded all he could do was gasp like a fish as his eyes watered. But that wasn't enough humiliation, the hits just kept coming.
First there was Harkat running over to him, scolding him like a disgruntled mother hen.
"Darren, what were you... thinking? You've never... done that! You have no idea... what you're doing!"
He must've looked like a real mess because he heard Gracie sprinting out of the hall yelling for help at the top of her lungs,
And then to dump an entire bag of salt into an open wound, it had to be Mika who arrived first. So he was the one who scooped Darren's pitiful frame into his arms and rushed him swiftly up to the Hall of Recovery. Mika seemed enormously inconvenienced by this, Darren couldn't make out all of what his fellow Prince was muttering under his breath, but he distinctly heard "fucking dumbass" before passing out.
He was only out for a short while, but when he woke up he was nestled on a cot in the Hall of Recovery and Seba was putting his arm in a sling.
"Ow!" Darren yelped.
"Hush." Said Seba gently. "You are lucky your arm broke so cleanly! It will heal in no time. But for now, you must keep it still."
"I broke my arm?" Darren whimpered in dismay. Come to think of it, it did hurt quite a bit.
"Larten's going to love this." Came a dry voice from the corner. Mika was sitting in a chair there, with his feet propped on the bed looking unimpressed. Gracie was there too. She was sitting at the foot of Darren's cot looking a little bored but faintly amused at the same time. Harkat was sitting next to her, just as worried as earlier.
Darren cringed. It just had to be Mika. They got alone fine but Darren couldn't help but feel Mika had warmed up to him the least out of all the other Princes so far. He was never unpleasant to Darren but he always got the impression Mika didn't take him seriously.
"I tried something new on the bars." Darren mumbled. "Didn't pan out."
"No shit." Mika snorted. Darren sighed resignedly while Gracie chuckled under her breath.
"You also have a concussion." Said Seba gravely. "My goodness, Darren. How high up the bars did you go?"
"Uhh... the level six, I think?"
"It was level eight actually." Grace chipped in nonchalantly.
"And had you ever done level eight before today?" Mika queried, raising his eyebrow.
"No." Darren grumbled.
"So you were showing off." Mika commented scathingly.
"No!"
"Right. We all believe you." Said Mika, rolling his eyes. "Well, I'd better get back to work seeing as you'll be useless for the rest of the day, if not the week. I'll be sure to send Larten down here as soon as I find him, so he can tell you what an idiot you are."
"Thanks..." Darren mumbled.
"Any time! This is what I live for. Moments like these." Said Mika sardonically. Then he got up and swiftly left the room with a quick nod to Seba. As soon as he was out of earshot, Gracie dissolved into laugher.
"I'm sorry, Darren! That was just the funniest thing I've seen in months." She laughed mirthfully. "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he really does think you're a moron."
"Glad to provide some entertainment." Said Darren with a weary smile.
"Mika was right..." said Harkat seriously. "You were being... reckless."
"I was just excited." Said Darren glumly. "I've been so busy doing Prince stuff lately. I finally got a chance to do something fun and I got... carried away."
"Do not be so hard on yourself." Seba chuckled. "I distinctly recall Sire Ver Leth taking several nasty tumbles from the bars over the years, as all vampires have. In fact, the first time it happened was a result of him trying to teach Arra a trick and it backfired on him rather spectacularly. My gods, that was forever ago! I do not think he was even a General yet at that point! Ironic that Arra mastered the bars better in several months than he did in several decades..."
Seba had a wistful, distanced look about him as he fondly recited the anecdote. Almost as if he was telling the story for his own amusement rather than theirs. But they enjoyed it nonetheless. Seba sat down on the corner of the cot and treated them to several more stories of recklessness vampires falling off the bars over the centuries. And the four of them laughed until Larten came bursting in half an hour later to serve Darren with the scolding of the decade while Gracie and Harkat sat back and watched like it was the best TV show they'd ever seen.
If all of the kings had their queens on the throne
We would pop champagne and raise a toast
To all of the queens who are fighting alone
Baby, you're not dancin' on your own
Gracie had low expectations for Christmas in Vampire Mountain that year. Vampires never exactly celebrated the holidays but Mika and Kurda had always done a little something special for her each year. They'd put up a little evergreen tree and decorate it with whatever they could find lying around in the mountain. It wasn't much but they did it with all the love in the world, and she loved them for it.
This year was so different though. The war was beginning. Everyone was scared. One of her dads had just committed treason of the highest order. Her other dad was a still a broken shell of his former self.
He was doing his best, and he really did try to be honest with her about how he was feeling but she knew he was always holding something back. Like there was more going on in his head than he ever let on. She understood the reality was that she was the child, he was the parent, and that meant he was always going to feel compelled to be strong for her, to shield her from as much negativity as he could. She supposed he was doing as well as could be expected given the circumstances but she still worried about him. He told her not to, but if there's one thing Ver Leths don't do well, it's take orders from anyone.
She found herself chatting with Darren Shan on a pretty regular basis. They found common ground in that it felt like nobody ever told them anything.
"I get why they don't tell me things. I'm just a human. I shouldn't even be here!" She teased him as they enjoyed a meal in the Hall of Khledon Lurt on Christmas Eve. "But you're a Prince! What's with that?"
The room was mostly empty. Darren had just finished a shift in the Hall of Princes and was grabbing a bite before catching a few hours of sleep and going back to do it all again.
"I don't even feel like a Prince half the time. But Mr. Crepsley sure does." Darren grumbled. "I mean... sure, everyone respects me. But when they talk about things that actually matter, they barely look at me. They look at him. And it's not just the other Princes. It's the Generals too. It was fine the first few weeks when I was scared shitless at all times but I feel more confident now. If he'd just let me take the wheel I think I'd do okay."
"It's not enough to think you can do it." Gracie replied with a shrug. "You have to actually do it. If you wait for them to take you seriously, you'll be sitting there for years letting people talk over you. Be so good they can't ignore you. It's in your hands, no one else's. That's the most valuable advice anyone's ever given me."
Darren smiled ruefully.
"Did Mika tell you that?"
"No. Arra." Grace corrected him. "The clan is a man's world, in case you haven't noticed. Dad's never had to deal with anyone trying to talk over him... he wouldn't even know what that feels like. If anyone knows how to fight to be heard, it's Arra. Or it was Arra..."
"Were you close?" Darren asked gently.
"Yeah. She sort of always looked out for me. I don't know whether it was because there's so few women in the clan, or because she and my dad were always close. Probably both. But I was really glad to have her. It was nice to have someone to talk to besides my dads. And it was a win for them too. They didn't have to be the ones to explain to me how periods work." She added unconcernedly.
"Gracie!" Darren yelped, turning red. She rolled her eyes and threw a carrot at him.
"Don't be such a child."
"We're almost the same age." Darren countered.
"Yeah well, you still look like like you're fresh out of daycare." Said Gracie.
"Rude. I could pass for middle school easily." Darren laughed.
"Keep telling yourself that, little buddy."
They were too preoccupied with gently teasing each other to immediately notice when Mika and Larten made their way into the room. Gracie saw them coming first but because they were sitting at opposite sides of the table, Darren had no idea and almost jumped out of his skin when Larten tapped him on the shoulder.
"Agh! I mean, hi Mr. Crepsley." He said, visibly flustered. Mika and Gracie both smirked.
"It is Christmas." Said Larten simply.
"Christmas Eve." Mika corrected him.
"Is it? We had no idea." Said Darren with a small smile. Mika and Larten both sat down at the table. Larten shot Mika a rather expectant look.
"Go ahead." Said Mika with a shrug. Larten sighed and looked at Darren.
"As you know it has been a busy few months in this mountain." Said Larten slowly.
"I noticed." He grinned.
"There were a lot of weapons picked up in the tunnels... after the fight. Some were vampaneze and they have been destroyed." Larten added. "But others were discarded by slain vampires."
Gracie and Darren exchanged a look of confusion.
"Obviously we didn't pay much attention to the discarded weapons at first with everything that happened after the fight."
Said Mika matter-of-factly, running his hand through his hair as he often did when deep in thought. "But Seba and his staff have been clearing out storage areas and moving things around to make space for more meeting rooms."
"What does that have to do with us?" Grace inquired.
Larten and Mika glanced at each other very briefly.
"Seba brought us a box of found weapons today... he was going to give them to Vanez to use as training items for the cubs, but he thought a couple of them looked familiar. He wanted to see if we could confirm what he suspected." Said Larten. His voice was calm but it was undercut with... something. Sentimentality? How bizarre. Then the orange haired vampire looked over at Mika with an odd gleam in his eye and said, "You go first."
Mika sighed and reached into his pocket. He withdrew something long, narrow, and leather-bound.
"Gracie, this was Arra's. I knew as soon as I saw it. It was her favourite... and I don't have single doubt in my mind she'd be so happy knowing you had it." He said quietly, holding the object out to her. She took it cautiously, then her eyes went wide as she realized what it was. She fumbled with the clasp for a moment before withdrawing a gleaming silver dagger from the leather sheath.
"Dad, are you serious?!" She yelped as her face lit up. "I can keep this?!"
Mika smiled wearily.
"I kind of always wanted to get you your own little dagger but Kurda would've slit my throat with it. He never wanted you to have a vampire weapon." Both Mika and Gracie's faces darkened for a moment. "But Kurda's not here now... and I am. So if you want it, it's all yours." Mika added.
Darren watched him watch Gracie and immediately realized that his normally moody colleague had a completely different side of him that Darren had never seen before. But it was clear that he loved this human child as though she was his own flesh and blood. He was so much more than an obligatory guardian to her. They were simply family. But Larten's voice suddenly jerked him back to reality.
"Darren, I have something I would like to give you as well." There was a brittle smile on his thin, scarred face but there was a gravity in his tone that made Darren truly sit up and listen.
He set an object on the table in front of Darren; it looked very similar to what Mika had given Gracie except it was much bigger. A sword.
"This belonged to Gavner Purl. It was the first and only sword he ever fought with." Said Larten crisply. "He thought the world of you, Darren. In the short time you knew him, I know he came to think very highly of you. And seeing as you do not yet have your own personal weapon, I thought you might like to carry this one. I hope you never have to use it to fight for your life but Gavner would be honoured to know you are training with it."
"Mr. Crepsley... this is amazing." Darren gasped. "I can't believe it. I'm honoured."
"The honour is mine." Said Larten softly. Darren could've sworn he heard his voice crack. This truly was a weird day. "Darren, I told you Gavner was an old friend of mine. And it was the truth. But it was not the whole truth."
"What do you mean?"
Larten heaved a long sigh and didn't seem able to look at his young apprentice for a moment.
"Many decades ago... I found myself alone with an orphan infant. How he came to be an orphan is another matter entirely. I made a choice, and that resulted in me more or less raising Gavner Purl as something of a son..."
"What?!" Darren yelped, feeling like he'd been struck by lightning.
"Should we be here for this?" Mika interrupted as he exchanged a bemused look with Gracie.
"Dad, do you have time to show me how to use the dagger?" Gracie asked Mika pointedly.
"Yeah. The rest of my night's wide open. Let's go." Mika replied quickly and the two of them got up to leave. "See you both tomorrow. Merry Christmas."
"Wait, you knew it was Christmas?" Grace asked him sharply.
"Uh, yeah? Why do you think we made a whole thing of giving you two that stuff?" Mika snorted as the two of them walked away.
Darren and Larten watched their retreating backs for a moment.
"I am glad you found a friend here, Darren." Said Larten gently. "I know this has been a difficult transitional period for you and I must admit I have been struggling as well. I miss them both quite terribly... Gavner and Arra."
"I didn't know them very long, but I miss them so much." Said Darren, fighting back the tears that were suddenly burning behind his eyes. "They should be here."
"They are." Said Larten encouragingly. "I firmly believe they are. When Mika and I picked up those old weapons earlier... I can't explain it. It was like we felt them. And we both knew immediately what we had to do."
"Thank you, Mr. Crepsley. This means more to me than you could possibly know." Darren gulped, trying to smile.
"I think I know. Now, let me finish the story of Gavner Purl. I hope you do not have any plans for the evening, because I wish to do it proper justice. Are you ready?"
"I'm ready!"
"Did I ever tell you I lived in the city of Paris once? There was this incredible woman named Alicia..."
Disobey me, then baby, it's off with your head
Gonna' change it and make it a world you won't forget
No damsel in distress, don't need to save me
Once I start breathin' fire, you can't tame me
And you might think I'm weak without a sword
But I'm stronger than I ever was before
If all of the kings had their queens on the throne
We would pop champagne and raise a toast
To all of the queens who are fighting alone
Baby, you're not dancin' on your own
By the next day, Darren had forgotten all about Christmas. The stories Mr. Crepsley told him had sent his mind spinning and it hasn't stopped since. He told his young apprentice everything, including the parts he would've be been happier being oblivious to - but was honoured to know about them nonetheless. Gavner, Alicia, Sylva, Tanish, and Wester... those seemed more like fictional characters than real people. Characters in the incredible story that was Larten's life. And yet Darren knew he'd only just learned the tip of the iceberg. He was still processing all of it, how much his mentor had been through. How much he'd experienced.
That's what he was thinking about when he walked through the Hall of Princes the next day. Like I said, he'd forgotten all about the fact that it was Christmas Day. But that didn't last long.
"What the hell is that?!" He yelped as he stopped in his tracks. He knew WHAT it was, it was a Christmas tree. But what it was doing here was beyond him.
"You are late." Said Larten bluntly as Darren ran to the front of the hall. All the other Princes were already there, along with Seba, Larten, Harkat, Gracie, and Vanez.
"Easy, Larten... it's Christmas." Said Paris with a warm chuckle.
"We are still conducting business as usual. Just because we dragged a tree in from the forest is no excuse to be tardy." Larten scoffed.
Darren let out a whoop of laughter as he inspected the tree. It was a massive evergreen, decked with what was clearly the finest decorations Vampire Mountain had to offer: animal skulls, old weapons, garlands made of dusty twine and dried grass, and apparently whatever else they could find in the storage room. There even seemed to be cobwebs sprinkled like tinsel. It seemed the tree had been ripped straight out of the ground, it wasn't in any sort of a holder. It simply sat upright on the floor, on the heavy clump of soil to which its roots were still firmly attached.
"My staff are going to have their work cut out for them cleaning this up. Silly of me, I assumed the tree would be cut down neatly rather than yanked clean out of the ground." Seba remarked drily. There did seem to be a trail of mud leading up the aisle.
"Well, you sent Arrow and Vanez to the forest to get it." Mika snorted. "I don't know what you expected. The blind leading the... complete lack of foresight. No offence."
"Okay, Mika. I'd love to talk about all of YOUR mental shortcomings but we simply do not have the time." Arrow responded peevishly. But there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and a warmth in his eyes.
"...Who's idea was this?!" Darren gasped, looking up at the tree in astonishment. Mika and Larten exchanged a furtive look but didn't say anything.
"Mine!" Arrow boomed.
"You have been through things no child should go through." Said Larten sombrely.
"Between being drowned, set on fire, drowned again, promoted to a job you're way under-qualified for because the only alternative was being impaled... it's fair to say you've had a rough time." Said Mika to Darren. "And your other dad's a war criminal." He added to Gracie.
"Your lives may be very different from each other but the hard truth is that for better or worse, you are both here because of the choices made by adult vampires. You did not ask to bear witness to this violence, or the coming war. But you are, and it is not lost on us that it is incredibly unfair." Said Larten quietly and there was a very strange look in his eyes that tugged at Darren's heartstrings.
"So we got you a Christmas tree to make up for it. Because that's totally an equal trade-off." Mika added, as though eager to end the conversation. He also had a bit of a misty expression but was hiding it with more success than Larten.
"They used to put up a little tree for me every year." Said Gracie. "But this is the first time anyone's ever yanked a thirty-foot spruce right out of the ground, roots and all. I'm impressed. And all the skulls are a nice touch."
"Only the best for you, Princess." Said Mika lightly, and she laughed.
They laughed a lot that day, all of them. They hadn't gone so far as to cancel the many meetings and conferences that were taking place in preparation for the war, but they did finish things off a little earlier than they otherwise would have. Seba had the guards bring trays of delicious hot food up into the Hall of Princes so nobody had to stay behind and guard the place alone. So they ate, they drank, they laughed some more, and for a few hours they thought of something besides the war.
Towards the end of the night, Harkat asked to hold Gavner's sword and Darren let him. He tried to show him a maneuver but failed terribly and dropped the thing on the floor. Larten cringed, and Gracie intervened. She didn't know much but she'd listened to every word Mika said to her at their brief training session last summer. Between that and Darren's moral support, it was enough to get Harkat started.
"If I may speak candidly, I still cannot believe you adopted a human child and actually raised it successfully. Sire." Larten commented drily as he sat in Vancha's empty throne beside Mika.
"Why are you so surprised? When have I ever failed at anything?" Mika replied offhandedly.
"Surely it could not have been easy." Said Larten.
"Oh, it wasn't. Hardest thing I've ever done." Mika shrugged.
"I imagine your title comes with certain privileges that helped, though." Larten added.
"If I wasn't a Prince, I wouldn't have even tried." Mika admitted. "Prior to this, if any other vampire had the nerve to bring an infant human back to the mountain... I would've laughed myself off my throne. But yes, I was lucky. I'm not saying it was the greatest idea I've ever had but I don't regret it. I can't explain it... I just knew we couldn't leave her behind."
Larten raised an eyebrow.
"I know that feeling well. I regret not accepting my promotion to Prince all those years ago. Perhaps then Darren would not have been sentenced to a series of gruesome trials in order to be accepted here." He commented crisply. Mika whipped around sharply to shoot Larten a reproachful glare.
"First of all, you wouldn't have met Darren if you became a Prince because there's no way in hell you would've had enough free time to work a side job with a travelling circus." Mika retorted. Larten rolled his eyes. "Second of all, you didn't adopt a defenceless orphan like I did. You took a perfectly safe child from a loving family and blooded him. I don't wanna have that trial again but I think you're smart enough to see the differences between our situations. Don't forget, Gracie doesn't have a drop of vampire blood. She's not the same as Darren. There's no comparison to be drawn here."
"You are right. I spoke out of turn. Please accept my apologies, Sire." Said Larten stiffly.
"No hard feelings, Quicksilver. You're amusing when you get an attitude." Mika chuckled.
"Do you have plans to blood her?" Larten asked in an undertone after a thoughtful pause.
"I definitely don't have plans to." Said Mika heavily. "I've told her it's ultimately her choice. And if she wanted me to, I would. AFTER she reaches adulthood and can understand the full range of consequences." He added with a very pointed glance at Larten.
"I thought we were not having that trial again." Larten huffed.
At that moment, Gracie and Darren rejoined them. Darren sat down tiredly on the steps; he normally sat in Vancha's throne but it was occupied by Larten who seemed in no hurry to get up. Gracie propped herself on Mika's arm rest like she used to as a small child - she still almost fit.
"Are you sure you haven't been participating in an illegal secret sword fighting ring on weekends?" Mika asked her casually. "That was pretty impressive for only doing it once for two hours a few months ago."
"I've been watching you for years." She replied. "I pick up on things."
Mika smiled, and for a moment Darren could've sworn he saw some moisture glitter in his eyes.
"Of all the kids I could've gotten stuck with, I'm glad it was you." He told her softly.
"Of all the vampires that could've smuggled me back to this place and fumbled their way through raising me, I'm glad it was you." She replied. "Also, you know what I've really always wanted is a full-sized sword, right?"
"Trust me, I'm aware." Mika chuckled. "I only gave you a dagger because it's easy to sneak to your dorm. I'll find you a real sword and you can start learning properly next summer."
She grinned happily, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Darren heard Mika mutter under his breath, "And don't worry, it'll be bigger than Darren's."
In chess, the king can move one space at a time
But queens are free to go wherever they like
You get too close, you'll get a royalty high
So breathe it in to feel alive
If all of the kings had their queens on the throne
We would pop champagne and raise a toast
To all of the queens who are fighting alone
Baby, you're not dancin' on your own
The end! Chapter 5 is in the works. I'm going to try to update once a week, give or take a couple days. We'll see how that goes! Once again I have TONS of segments of future chapters written so don't worry! I'm NOT flaking on this story!
We're at over 11000 words for this chapter, y'all. Please leave a comment!
Thanks for being on this adventure with me! Cheers.
- Roxy