Nothing made sense. Nothing could explain how the world was reeling around him. Worse however was the fact that Arthur wasn't sure that he wanted it to make sense. He needed this to be a nightmare he could just wake up from.

"Please, Giaus…" He wasn't sure what he was pleading for.

A look of deep sympathy crossed Gaius's face and he clasped Arthur's arm. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I'm going to have to tell you. This won't be easy for either one of us. Come, come away from here and I'll explain everything." He started leading him away, and Arthur, stunned and dazed, with one final look towards the ruins of his and Gwen's old home, followed.

Gaius led him out towards the city's edge. The outer walls of Camelot stood in ruins, mostly piles of stone tumbled down on top of each other. There were more bodies here as well: swords and arrows scattered round as if there'd been a battle here. The pair moved on beyond the city, taking a small footpath for about half a mile, until they reached a small, wooden hut on the side of a stream. Gaius opened the door and led the way inside.

It was a one room house, with a bed in one corner, a fire place, a table and chairs and a cupboard stocked full of herbs and plants. There was a shelf of books and in one corner was a side table with several of Gaius's instruments. Most of them, however, looked old and rusty.

"Sit," Gaius instructed. "I'll get you something to drink."

Automatically, feeling too shell-shocked to respond, Arthur obeyed. His mind refused to form words, too afraid of what it would think, of what it would start to believe…

As he watched Gaius move around the room he sensed the physician was as reluctant to begin the conversation as he himself was. At last however Gaius had placed a cup of tea on the table and sat down, and both men knew the moment could be put off any no longer.

"What's happened Gaius?" asked Arthur, weakly. "What happened to me? And what happened to Camelot? Where is everyone?"

"Most of them are dead."

"How?" He could feel his world spinning out of control and he was desperate to make sense of it. "I don't understand how any of this is possible. I blacked out last night, but how could I wake to all of this?"

"It wasn't last night, Arthur." Gaius sighed; it was a sigh beyond exhaustion or sadness. It was a sigh of soul-wrenching weariness. "When you stopped the spell that night it was already too far along. Too much magic was alive in that room. You stopped the spell from effecting Merlin, but all that power had to go somewhere, and we theorized that it latched onto the two nearest living things: you and Elaine. Neither of you were seen again after that night. Merlin has done much research since, on the magic used. It seemed most likely that the result of you subverting it was you and Elaine were either killed, or, more likely, it pushed you both through time. We hoped it was forward and not back…but we could never be sure. I scoured as many historical texts as I could: but could never find any sign of you. So there was always hope." For the first time, since finding Arthur in the ruins, he gave a small smile. "Merlin always said you couldn't have wound up in the past and not made so much of a mess of things that you wouldn't make a name for yourself."

Arthur stared. A minute ticked by and then another.

"Arthur, I realize-"

"How long, Gaius? I was pushed forward in time: but for how long? How long have I been gone for?"

Gaius hesitated for one long moment and then he shook his head. "Twenty years."

"Twenty years?" Arthur stared, horrified. Twenty years? Twenty years just… gone… in one night.

"I am afraid so. Merlin has studied the Orb of Cronus much since you were lost. He often tried to determine, given the power released, how many years you might have been pushed through…he had many theories and many disappointments. But he always believed you would come back one day in his lifetime. He has always believed he would see you again. I admit I, and many people, had lost faith. But never Merlin."

Arthur buried his head in his hands, his mind whirring, refusing to accept what Gaius was telling him, but unable to deny the evidence his own eyes had seen. It couldn't be. He couldn't be. This had to be some absurd lie. Please, please, he thought desperately, please let this all be a lie…

But Camelot and the castle, that hadn't been a lie. He had felt the dust and seen the destruction.

"What happened?" he asked, looking up abruptly. "What happened to Camelot?"

Gaius sighed. "This will be hard for you to hear."

Fear gripped his heart. He could barely get the words out: "Is Guinevere-…is she alive?"

"Yes, oh yes, she's alive," said Gaius hastily. "And in good health when last I heard." He looked away. There was something there, Arthur knew instinctively, something Gaius wasn't saying. But what was it?

"Where is she?"

"I'll tell you. But I think it will be easier if you hear the whole story." Gaius took a deep breath. "You must understand that when you went missing, you just vanished. No body, no remains. Nothing. There were a few guards who arrived on the scene quickly enough to have seen some magic being used, but they couldn't say exactly what had become of you. Your father, when he heard what had happened, and when no one could find you…" A troubled look crossed Gaius face. "The last time I'd seen him like that was at the death of your mother. He was reliving it all over again. I couldn't reach him. Once again he had lost the person he loved best to magic, magic that he had invited into Camelot. He felt responsible. Again. And his reaction was…similar. He blamed the druids and he blamed Merlin."

"But Merlin was trying to stop Elaine!"

"But there was no evidence of that. And Merlin was at the scene when you vanished. That was enough, in your father's state. He had him, along with Lancelot and the remaining druids, arrested and thrown into the dungeons. Your father had enough suspicion of the magnitude of Merlin's power to make sure he was securely bound, and gagged for most of his time there. The number of guards and knights assigned to the dungeons was unprecedented as well. You had vanished, there was no body found, no explanation…Uther wanted answers. But I think his overriding emotion was hope was that he could force them to return you to him. He became convinced Elaine had kidnapped you and that the druids and Merlin were a part of it. He wouldn't listen to reason. He wouldn't listen to anyone. He was…mad in a way. He was broken. I have gone over it many times in my memory, wondering if somehow, if I had said or done something differently, I might have helped him. If I couldn't have made a difference…" Gaius fell silent, staring back through time in his own head.

"What happened?" Arthur pressed. He needed to know the worst of it now. He saw Gaius's fist clinch and a flash of anger cross his expression.

"He tortured them. Asking them questions to things they didn't have the answers to; where you were and what had happened. It was years before we knew what little we eventually learned. Then? They knew next to nothing. They did try to explain what they could but Uther couldn't or wouldn't believe that they were innocent. I tried to stop it but he wouldn't listen just as he wouldn't listen after Ygraine's death. And then Morgana. Oh Morgana. She argued against Uther; stood up against him. There were vicious arguments. All the work they had put in to try to repair their relationship fell apart. Fell apart and deteriorated worse than it ever had been before. Gwen tried to back her, but while Uther rage never reached the same level against her as it did Morgana, he wouldn't listen to her either."

"Gwen…"

"Uther was extremely kind to Guinevere in many ways. For your sake he never treated her as he did Morgana. And when he found out about the baby I truly thought there was hope. That just possibly for the baby's sake…but it wasn't enough. He only turned the child into another person he could lose to magic. Another reason to continue his crusade. And Morgana couldn't turn a blind eye to what was being done. … And then Uther ordered Iseldir's execution."

"No!"

"It had been three months and Uther knew no more than he did the day after you'd vanished. He claimed it would frighten the other prisoners, force them to talk. I don't know. Perhaps at that point all he could truly feel anymore was hate. But Morgana couldn't stand by and let it happen. So she tried to help them escape. But the security had been increased so much, and Uther had expected some such attempt. And so she failed. And Iseldir was executed. Uther was furious of course. And I don't know what he would have done. Probably have her arrested as well. But she ran away instead. Everything Uther had done, to the druids, to Lancelot, but especially to Merlin…it was too much. Morgana is a very passionate woman. She feels deeply, strongly, and does nothing by halves."

"I know…I told my father something similar once."

"I wish he had listened. Instead Uther drove her to hate him. With the torture and with Iseldir's execution…everything good in their relationship was lost. She was determined that Uther's persecution of magic would end…and that she would save Merlin. She came to hate Uther as powerfully and as strongly as he hated magic, and she was not going to stand by and let a second purge of magic sweep through country nor wait for Merlin to follow Iseldir. She went to the druids, she found sorcerers and wizards and magic sympathizers; people who were already upset over the betrayal of Uther inviting druids to come to Camelot for peace talks, guaranteeing them safety, and then throwing them in the dungeon and executing them. Wild stories started spreading, theories that you were simply in hiding, giving Uther an excuse to seize the druid delegation. That Elaine and Ernald had been murdered by Camelot to facilitate this conspiracy. It was all mad. But the world was rapidly becoming a mad place."

Arthur closed his eyes and nodded. Yes, suspicion and hate could so easily begat more suspicion and hate, until good men saw only shadows, demons, and lies. "And Morgana used that?"

"I don't think she purposefully spread the lies. But she didn't have to. Iseldir had been executed and Sybil had died from the treatment they'd received in the dungeons. People were angry, but more than that, people were scared of what Uther would do to them once he was done with the druids in Camelot. So when Morgana began to recruit, people listened to her. She meant to stop Uther by force, save Merlin, and stop another purge. While back in Camelot, Uther sent off a large force to Shalott."

"Elaine's territory?"

"Yes. Uther had developed a theory that she might have taken you there. And then-" Gaius faltered. Arthur looked at him. He had once sat, and listened as a man had reported the horror of having his village sacked and burned by an invading army, and told the fate his family had endured. He knew the expression of a man reliving his worst nightmare over again. That was the expression on Gaius's face now. Gaius took a deep breath and seemed to have to force himself to continue: "Eight months after you vanished: Uther ordered the executions of Lancelot, Relveer…and Merlin."

Arthur could feel the rage building in him. Uther had ordered Merlin's execution? He remembered the emotion that had taken hold of him when he had seen the image of his mother and she had told him of Uther and the price he had paid for an heir. He had thought he'd hated Uther then. He was becoming to realize he had not truly known the meaning of the word hate. Not if the emotion the hit him at Gaius's words was any indication. His voice was ice and rock when he asked: "And were the executions carried out?"

"No .But there have been times when each of those men have wondered if it might not have been better if they had. With so large a force off, marching on Shalott, there were less men in the castle than when Morgana had attempted her rescue. I couldn't let Merlin die. I couldn't stand back and watch while- Merlin-" Gaius buried his face in his hands. For a full minute he sat there. It was with a slow, exhausted voice that he continued: "I helped Merlin break out of his bonds, which allowed him to use his magic. He rescued the other two. They escaped the dungeons but the alarm was sounded. The castle was full enough of Uther's men and they were cornered. Merlin, all of them, were weak from months in the dungeon and months of torture and harsh treatment. They couldn't make their way out of the castle, they kept being pushed back, forced into retreat…they ended up going down, deeper and deeper under the castle, always on the back foot. The guards and knights kept driving them down, further and further under the castle…until they reached the dragon's lair."

"The dragon?"

"They were cornered. There was no other way out. And the dragon reminded Merlin of a promise to one day free him. He said if Merlin freed him now, he would save all three and fly them out of Camelot….Merlin chose to free him. I believe he chose it for Lancelot and Relveer's sakes. For his own sake alone, I don't think he would have done it. But they had been through so much together at that point. Endured so much. And I must admit: the dragon did keep his word. He saved them from certain death that night and he flew them out of Camelot and far away. He placed them down and then he flew back into the air…and returned to Camelot."

"So it was the dragon that destroyed the city."

"Not entirely. He weakened it. But then Morgana came at the head of an army of sorcerers and druids. Most of Camelot's forces were still on its way to Shalott, Merlin and all the aid he could have given was stranded weeks away by foot, the defenses had been broken by the dragon. Camelot never stood a chance. It fell to Morgana's forces in a day."

Arthur's head fell down into his hands again and he stared unseeingly at the dirt floor. Morgana had done that. And a treacherous thought came into his head: how much could he blame her? What would he have done in her position, with Merlin in the dungeons and his father careening towards another slaughter.

"I'm so sorry Arthur," Gaius said, as gently as he could. "I'm so very sorry…but your father…"

"What?" Arthur looked up sharply.

"Your father died the night the druids and Morgana breached the castle."

It had to stop. It all had to stop, he couldn't take any more. Uther… he felt pain as he heard the news, pain he hadn't expected. He'd been furious a moment ago. He'd have sworn that he hadn't cared anymore. But the pain that lacerated him at those words, gave proof to the lie.

But there was one glimmer of hope left, one possible ray of light in all this darkness.

"Gwen. What happened to Gwen?" Arthur pressed. "I need to know, Gaius."

"She's in the east in a town named Lyonesse, with all that remains of Camelot's people."

"Lyonesse."

"Yes. Refugees from the war keep flocking there. Camelot itself has been long since destroyed but it remains a symbol of hope for many people."

"The war? What war?"

"I am afraid the destruction of Camelot, and Morgana's defeat of Uther, sent ripples throughout many kingdoms. Other lords and kings saw what the druids and sorcerers could do under her leadership and they were convinced she would come after their thrones next. War began. It was the dark times all over again. Kingdoms were torn apart." Gaius shook his head, "The loss of life has been horrific."

"Morgana did all this?"

"No," said Gaius, "She simply started a chain of events which she could not control. Once the fighting started she could not leave the men and women who looked up to her as their leader. They sought her to bring them freedom from persecution. Without her they would have splintered and all that would have remained would be for them to be hunted and slaughtered. She has stood by them."

"But twenty years? And this war is still raging? Surely someone has to have seen reason and pushed for peace?"

"It's gotten more complicated recently. There have been some calls to end the war. Merlin has always pushed for it of course. And some of the magic users do listen to him. But never enough. Morgana tried to convince him to join her of course. But he wouldn't. Not after what was done to Camelot. And he has always maintained that you had a destiny, and therefore you would return. He would have waited here for you himself, but he was needed elsewhere. And so I have stayed: waiting for you. Hoping one day that you would return and I could send you to him."

"Is he with Gwen?"

"Sometimes. He has always striven to restore peace and to protect innocent lives where he could. Sometimes that has taken him away from her side. He has helped her when needed; but so many need him now. None of this has been easy for him…but he has also done what he can to help. As he has ever done." There was a note of pride in Gaius's voice.

"You said things were more complicated now. What did you mean by that?"

"Two years ago, we got very close to peace. All sides were exhausted and people began, at long last, to listen to reason. It was thanks to Merlin that they got so close to peace as they did. But a new druid rose up. A man named Mordred."

Arthur gave a jerk of recognition. "Mordred?"

"Yes. Does that name mean something to you?"

"I don't know if it's the same one but… it must be. Merlin, Morgana, and I saved a druid boy by that name. You must remember: my father was going to execute him. We helped him to escape."

"Then," said Gaius, very gravely. "You should have left him to die."

"Gaius! He was just a boy."

"I am sorry. But I have seen what he has become as a man. He is a strong leader and relentless. He would not let Morgana pursue the peace and made sure that no druid or sorcerer would agree to it, and without them no other country would sign either. He instilled in his army a desire to create a kingdom of magic that all others would fear. He has made magic become what Uther always feared, and he took Morgana's place as the leader of its army. She is still there as a second in command, but it is in name only. Mordred leads. When she was their leader they fought for survival. But Mordred, he fights to conquer. And he has proven amazingly effective. Time is running out I'm afraid."

"For whom?"

"For any lands not yet under Mordred's control. And for Lyonesse. I have heard rumors that Mordred is preparing to march on it next, and wipe out the very last remnant of Camelot. And I doubt, even with Merlin at her side, that Guinevere will be able to withstand him."

"Gwen withstand him?"

"Gwen was crowned Queen."

"Queen?" Arthur stared off in the distance, and a little smile played across his lips. "That's the first good news you've had to give me."

Gaius gave a small, weak chuckle. "She has proved a remarkable leader. When Camelot was destroyed, the survivors fled into the woods. The dragon hunted them, burning the trees behind. There were few knights left, Uther was dead, you were gone, Merlin miles away. There was no obvious leader. But she was the last tie to the Pendragons. However even without that, I think the people would have turned to her strength, for she stepped up and she took care of them. It is thanks to her any of them survived at all."

Arthur knew the answer to the next question before he even asked it. It was all too clear from Gaius's words. "The last tie to the Pendragons. So our child…"

"Was lost." Gaius reached out and clasped Arthur's hand. "She died when the dragon first attacked the castle."

It wasn't fair, thought Arthur, his heart numb. He'd lost his child before he'd even gotten to know her. A daughter. He'd hoped for a daughter. And she was gone. Taken along with everything else that had been dear to him. Everything but Gwen. She was alive. She was all he had left. And he ached for her.

"Eventually the dragon tired of picking the survivors off and flew away; probably content in the knowledge that they were now out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but destruction as winter was falling and they had few supplies. But Guinevere kept the people together and kept them going. Eventually Merlin and the others were able to track them down. That's how they ended up in Lyonesse. It's to the east, and is in the center of the territory where Relveer's druids were based. It was a very old town, but had good defenses, and the need for a fortified base was recognized. Guinevere does not rule entirely alone. She and Relveer share power. It is this reason that Lyonesse attracts refugees from both side of the war, and the pair present a united front: magic and non-magic, ruling together, looking after people from both sides, together."

"Then I have to go to Lyonesse. I need Gwen."

"Yes. Merlin said I was to send you there if you returned… and if it still stood. And stand it does." Gaius seemed to hesitate as he looked at Arthur doubtfully. "But you must remember: it has been twenty years Arthur…you cannot expect to find things…the same."

"I think I realized that when I awoke to find Camelot in ruins and my father dead." It came out far harsher than he'd intended.

"That was not what I was referring too," said Gaius gently. "Go to Guinevere: but know it may not be easy."