"Clunk, clunk," honked a penguin as it exited from Luigi's secret upper canine. His pants were ultra powerful and starched with supreme authority ever since the blimp landed.
Bowser came out from the blimp, wielding a scythe and slashing cantaloupes with mere flicks of his wrist.
Mario was on the floor writhing in agony. He held a pony and some guy named Tony.
Toby, the owner of both the pony and Tony, eyed Yoshi from atop the violet-tinted shrubbery and spat out an assorted jellybean pack.
Toad caught the package in his oven mitt and took to the kitchen for counting on a proper counter.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." counted Toad like a gentleman.
His wife walked in, anger in her several eyes and spaghetti clogging her garbage disposal.
Toad looked up at his wife and prepared himself for the fiendish nagging of a lifetime. He readied his shield and sharpened his sword with his last whetstone.
Toad's wife screamed and a pinata burst open, revealing leftover cantaloupes that the Koopa King had yet to slice most heinously.
Toad winked at the cantaloupes and his wife got super jealous. She then got zealous. She then got Jellos. She then got dead, a large carrot piercing her favourite toenail and causing sporish blood to leak out like the power of fungus.
Toad wept for his wife because he was gleeful for freedom. However, he knew revenge was his to do, so he went online and bought a magical crossbow with cool arrows signed by Larry the Cable Guy.
Larry Koopa then revealed himself from under the bus and laughed manically, affixing his hideous thumb to the window and rubbing it up and down like a madman. Toad screamed in horror at the noise of thumbs because all mushroom hate thumbs (citation needed).
Yoshi barreled into the room his grenade launcher and blasted away like a champion of rocketships.
Toad loved the sight of the bullets; they reminded him of his months in France.
One bullet that passed by was named Melinda the Bullet Billinda. She wore a dress, bow, and fancy red shoes. Toad was immediately captivated by her grace. He proposed to her with a hot wink and she accepted.
Bowser began to sob happily as he saw Toad and Melinda smooch like two attractive refrigerator magnets.
Mario and Luigi came in, six-packs unveiled and lookin' downright spiffy in the neigbourhood. They both saw the current state of the planet and roared furiously like two angry tacos jammed in a paper-shredder.
Mario took out a drill and burrowed to the planet's centre and beat the ever-loving kumquats out of the core.
Luigi followed him via his winged tortoise and did nose interests until the core melted into nothingness.
After the world had detonated and was reborn about eighteen times, Mario and Luigi stood before the newest ice age and there were too many woolly mammoths now.
"I hate chilly weather," said Luigi angrily, biting his toothpick until it snapped like Loki necks. Ten mammoths died because of this.
Mario snapped a pretzel in two over his knee and threw the leftover mammoths into a fiery pit of scorpions. "CO2!" he exhaled angrily, watching eagerly as the mammoths' trunks fell off like common oatmeal.
Toad and Melinda smooched again. This time there were fireworks displaying outside. Yoshi captured the wonderful colours in a jar and kept the memory near to his heart forever.
That was just part one of Bowser's conniving plans though. Next up, Bowser had pulled yet another radical noodle out of his wallet. He waved it and it transformed into a sentient sword.
The sword spoke: "Bodies... everywhere..." The sword looked horrified even though it had no face. You're just gonna have to take my word for it.
Then a qualm launched and Bowser caught it in between his twin horns. He clenched his biceps like a Romeo of fitness and the pecky-abby goodness caused Goombella to rig the shoe polish.
As Princess Peach sat down on her gator-stool, it moved. The squeaky wheel got the grease, so she brought it to the cleaners for the purpose of repairs and whatnot.
Daisy was at the front desk, perusing cool pictures of Yosemite Sam. She hated her job as the lady in charge of sand machines, so she became the new queen of Scotland.
Peach gasped at golf ideologies and then her nose split in half. A vicious squirrel demon clawed out from the centre of her skull and sewed it back up with Bowser's special noodle thing from earlier. Peach thanked the squirrel demon and then ate her own face. It tasted of pasta, but not the best kind that you get at Olive Garden.
Daisy gave Peach her own face through an inestine body donation and then the squirrel wriggled, giggled, jiggled, and commit tax fraud.
Yoshi overheard this tax fraud with his dinosaur ears and wept into the socks of King Arthur.
King Arthur arose from his gravesite and queried of the dinosaur his allegiance.
Yoshi said: "My brother is dead... My sister is bread... I have a bird I like to hold..." Yoshi held up Raphael the Raven.
It was already six weeks later and Toad and Melinda now had eleven children:
Bob, Bob Jr. Karlos, Henrietta, Mystic Buttz, Deer, Lenny Kravitz, Adrianna, Marco, Hogarth, and sans undertale.
Donkey Kong was in his eating chair, eating pickles and speaking to his bananas. He then saw Toad's mushroom-bullet offspring and choked on one of the pickles. He gagged for nine weeks straight until Diddy finally administered a very accurate kick to his gorilla rear.
DK became Spider-Man all of a sudden, but that's another story.
What is actually important is that Karlos got into a butt accident just then!
Karlos died and was buried in King Arthur's unused grave along with an open package of Doritos.
Mario and Luigi were still busy flexing hot stuff in the mirror and falling in love with banana peels left behind by DK. However, the brothers still retained their sense of dignity. They experimented on pigs, using mysterious serums in order to turn them into pixies. The pigs became pixies and did epic nose powers to birth sugars from their nostrils.
Waluigi was sitting in the corner alongside his flowerpots of cacti and saw the pigs leaking sugary sweets. He lent his tongue to the experiment and swallowed like a dedicated pancake-informant.
"How is it?" asked Mario. He flexed for good measure and then broke off one of his abs to share with a dying salamander.
Luigi eyed Waluigi and demanded good reviews on the product.
"No," said Waluigi silently as his nose twitched like a bankrupt juggler.
Luigi caved in Waluigi's seventeenth toe just like that. It was a horrifying display of what happens when you act like a bigshot and don't do the justice of a hundred smiling mountains.
Yoshi sat in his chair and eyed shiny red roses in the corner. He ate one and thought like a petal. "I need tea..." he finally said after fifteen minutes of pondering the flavours. What dinosaurs really needed was his guidance, so Yoshi was kind of the most important thing ever to such reptilian entities.
"YOOHOO!" cried Toadsworth. He waved his handkerchief until it became a neckerchief. Toadsworth instantly died that Tuesday. Everyone went to the wedding...
Except for Marco and Hogarth...
THE END