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Ask and you shall receive... a continuation from our last chapter.

Small Moments part ll - Big Moments

He gathered her damp hair, moving it to sit across her shoulder - out of the way - before pulling up the zipper of her dress. His fingertips ran across the grey material, from between her shoulder blades and down either side of her spine until his hands found their resting place on her hips. He pulled her back until she leaned against him, and placed a gentle kiss to the exposed skin of her neck.

"You don't have to leave, you know. We can hide out in here as long as we want."

The temptation was strong. The idea of spending the day, lazily in bed, wrapped in his arms.

Reading...

Talking...

Making love...

But reality called to her. She needed to return to normalcy so that she could effectively assess the situation without temptation burning through her.

She turned, plastering a smile on her face and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She brushed her thumb along his jawline, focusing on the small details - the way his lips pulled in at the edges, and the slight lines that he wore proudly, evidence of a lifetime of beaming smiles and laughter.

"I was supposed to meet Lanie for breakfast." She offered a consolatory smile.

"Cancel? I'm sure she will be fine... she's probably with Espo anyway."

"It's too late to cancel... have you seen what time is it?" With that, Castle lifted his wrist to check his watch. It was later than he expected. He couldn't help but smile as he thought back to what had kept them so busy for so long. "If anything, I'm going to be doing damage control... apologising profusely for standing her up."

"Worth it, though." He brought his face close to hers, stopping just before their lips touched. "Right?"

She nodded encouragingly and he claimed her lips with his own. He tightened his grip around her as she snaked her arms around his neck, toying with the short hairs at the back of his head. The brush of his fingertips on her back stirred a flutter in her core that left her breathless. She pressed her forehead against his, keeping her eyes closed. Together they stood, breathing each other in, savouring the comfort of each other's arms. She felt at home in his arms, and pulling herself away was going to be harder than she imagined.

"We need to talk about this, Kate." He pulled back so that he could see her fully. So that he could watch her react to his push for more than just her body. "I need to know what you're thinking."

"I know." He could see the effort she had to put into processing her thoughts, and he knew he wasn't alone in his frenzy - that she also had a chaotic storm of 'what if' and 'what next' running through her mind. "We will... I promise, we will talk. But later. I really do have to go before Lanie starts to worry about me."

The smile that greeted him when he arrived at her apartment was rapidly becoming his new favourite thing. She had opened the door just seconds after he arrived - he didn't even have a chance to knock - and that knowledge that she must have been waiting for him filled him with joy.

Had he convinced himself that she would find a way to talk herself out of this? Yes.

Did he feel bad about that? Of course. But over the years he had learned that Kate Beckett - amongst many other, more likeable qualities - was notorious for pushing away those that get too close. She had, after all, tried to do exactly that... too many times, with him in the past. He would be naïve if he hadn't considered the possibility of it happening again.

"Hey." He matched her smile effortlessly. She had that effect on him.

"Hey." She stepped aside, wordlessly inviting him in and he entered the apartment. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. He wasn't as frequent of a guest here as she had been in the loft over the years, but he was still fairly familiar with the place. When he turned back to where he had left her, she had already closed most of the distance between them. She was in his space again... something he didn't think he could ever get used to.

"Hey." He mumbled again - his brain unable to conjure any other words, let alone string together a coherent sentence.

"You said that already." She laughed. She reached out, wrapping her fingers around his before intertwining them.

"I love you, Kate."

The smile dropped from her face as she pinched her bottom lip in between her teeth. He hadn't meant to drop those words like a bomb - not when they had such a good start to this - but the words just flew out before he could stop them. He could feel his heart beating in his throat and he squeezed the hand that was entangled with his - hoping the fact that she hadn't dropped his hand was a sign that he hadn't just put his foot in it big time! He contemplated the possible consequences of taking it back, but decided that could only make things worse... surely. He was on the verge of entering full panic mode when she inched closer and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. She stayed there, listening as his heart raced.

He sighed, relieved, and wrapped his arms around her. He yearned for the day that he would hear those words come from her, but for now he was just happy that he hadn't scared her off. He allowed himself to relax into her as he buried his nose into her hair and breathed in her scent. After a few moments of holding each other, he heard a muffled sniffle from her. He placed her chin between his finger and thumb, tilting her head so that he could see her face. In a weak attempt to save face, she unwrapped her arms from him and hastily wiped at her face as he brought it up from his chest. Her eyes glistened and he could see the wet smudges underneath them.

"I'm sorry... Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

She shook her head and took both of his hands in hers. "I'm not upset. I'm not." She pulled his hands and held them against her, kissing his knuckles and offering her most reassuring smile. "I just... I didn't expect that."

When he didn't say anything, she knew he needed her to keep talking - to keep explaining. She took a deep breath, readying herself to be more open with him than she was possibly ready for... but she knew that if she wanted to hold onto this - onto him - she would have to take that leap of faith.

"That means everything to me. Castle... you mean everything to me. And this... uncharted territory... it's exciting and refreshing and I am so on board with this. But I'm also terrified. I don't want to be. But you've become... dependable. Something I can rely on - and I do... more than I rely on anything. It's a part of who I am, to think about all the what ifs. And the what if this doesn't work out is something that... I don't know if I can handle that."

He freed one of his hands, placing it on the back of her head to pull her into his chest and hold her close. He kissed the top of her head as he processed her words.

Kate had learned from an early age - too early - that to love, meant to lose.

Her mother, murdered. Her father, an alcoholic. Her captain sacrificed himself to save her. Her first mentor betrayed her when he became the very thing they fought against together. She was haunted by a half dozen failed relationships - a testament to her inability to dive in fully... to trust that a good thing could last. Allowing herself to love these people did nothing but set her up for heartache.

In that moment he realised just how hard she had been fighting to let him in. Fighting with herself... with every method of self preservation she had picked up over a lifetime of pulling herself up, brushing herself off and charging on despite how fragile each new break had made her. He could see how much she was risking, just by acknowledging her feelings for him. He had managed to insert himself into every aspect of her life - her work, her friendships - and if this ended badly, she would have no escape from the memories of him. She had no safe haven that had remained untouched by him.

"For what it's worth... I have no intentions of going anywhere. As much as I want to, I can't promise you forever. No one can. But I can promise you that you are all I want... all I have wanted for a long time."

She pulled her face from his chest so that she could look into his eyes.

"I know." She placed a tentative kiss on the corner of his mouth, unsure if she wanted to continue with this conversation or to divert from the heaviness. He tilted his head, capturing her lips with more confidence than she was able to conjure. She knew that he had accepted her reasoning for being wary... that he would accept whatever part of her heart she offered him. But for the first time in a long time, she believed the promises. She believed in him... in the depth of his love for her. And she felt safe placing her heart in his hands.

And so, she pulled her lips from his and pressed their foreheads together as she risked it all.

"I love you, too."