Author's Note: Finally, we're back. This was actually a fun one to clean up. I didn't realize until I was reading it over how much I'd done in narrative the first time around, so I added in more detail for those areas, and then added some layers to the conversational bits later in the chapter. I really liked how it all came together. Hopefully you'll all agree :)

And there is a bit in here about birth control pills, please just go with it and you'll see why I wrote it the way I did when you get to the end note.

Now, picking up on their lunch hour.

Mid February

Things Change . . .

At lunch they drove two counties west and bought a pregnancy test at a mom and pop drug store in a small town in the middle of Virginia. There was no possibility of anyone there knowing them. The woman behind the counter actually gave them a big smile as she rang Hotch up, and told them good luck.

Hearing Emily's slight moan coming then from beside him, Hotch quickly reached down to grab a Milky Way from the candy display.

"We'll take this too."

Fortunately the drive took most of their free hour, so they didn't have to fill it up with any pressure to talk. Hotch had already given the situation all the thought he needed to, so he now was sure about what he wanted to happen.

But he still didn't know what Emily wanted to happen.

And they certainly couldn't get into that on the way back to the office. Besides, they were leaving at five on the dot, and it was already after three, so in a little over two hours they would be at her place. And then all the speculation would be put to rest, and the decisions would be made.

He shot a glance over to her.

Really, he just hoped that they were on the same page. Or at least that they could get to the same page.

He just didn't want this to destroy everything.

Emily saw Hotch starting to eye her on the last stretch of their ride back to the Academy. There were a million things that she wanted to say to him. That she wanted to ask of him.

But this wasn't the time.

So instead she reached down into the plain white paper bag sitting in her lap, and pulled out the candy bar he'd bought her at the drug store. She turned to him with a faint smile.

"Do you want a bite?"

/*/*/*/

After work they drove separately to Emily's condo.

At that point the waiting had become almost unbearable, so Hotch knew that it was probably best that they hadn't been trapped in the car together for those last twenty-five minutes. Based on how they'd been interacting with their co-workers for the last hour of the day . . . short, clipped, sentences . . . he knew they were more than a little on edge. And not wanting to inadvertently get snippy with her, as they walked across the parking lot and into her building, he made sure to keep his mouth closed the whole time.

He did hold the entryway door for her though, and fixed her scarf on the elevator when he saw that it had gotten twisted up. For doing the latter, she squeezed his fingers in thanks and then leaned slightly against his side.

Still, neither of them said anything.

A few minutes later, after they'd walked through the front door into her condo, Emily took his coat and hung it with hers in the closet.

He pulled the small, white paper, bag of his pocket just before she took it away.

This was the second time he'd been back to her home since that night. Last Wednesday he'd come over and they'd had pizza and watched a movie. They'd wanted to see if they had moved far enough along to do things like that.

Just spend time together completely alone without anyone else around.

So she'd sat on the couch, and he'd sat in the chair and on the surface everything was nice, but there had been an elephant in the room the whole time. There had been a lot of awkward pauses, and they hadn't had an awkward pause in months. But for his part in that bit of discomfort, it was because Hotch couldn't stop remembering everything that they had done in that part of the house.

It had been distracting.

Oddly enough though, the one thing that he'd remembered with perfect clarity was sitting on the couch with her in his lap while they watched TV. And when he'd looked at her, that was all he'd wanted to do.

Just go over and pick her up, and pull her into his lap again.

And he would wrap her up in his arms and be . . . happy. For a few minutes he could just be truly happy again like he had been that night.

It was the first time that he'd genuinely hated his job and that choice they'd had to make because of it.

A few hours later, when he was leaving he had given her a sad smile and said, "maybe we can try again next month." And she'd looked away while responding with a soft, "yeah, maybe next month."

But now here he was, back already. If only they'd known last week what they knew now. Then his eyes widened slightly when he again remembered that night . . . Emily had been drinking wine.

Then he shook his head.

A little glass of wine wasn't going to hurt the baby. It wasn't until just the last twenty years that the advisories had come out about women drinking during pregnancy. And the majority of their mothers had the occasional cocktail and they'd all turned out fine. You had to drink a hell of a lot to get to birth defects.

And Emily wasn't a drunk.

They had just reached the foot of the stairs then and she turned to look up at him. Seeing the nerves apparent on her face, Hotch's expression immediately softened as he reached out and took her hand.

"Do you want to wait a couple minutes?" He asked with a gentle squeeze of her fingers.

"No," she swallowed and winced, "no, let's just get it done."

The waiting was killing her. But once they knew for sure, then her life was probably going to change irrevocably. Possibly blow up in her face. It all depended on what the result was.

Or more specifically . . . she bit her lip . . . what this man at her side said about those results.

Hotch kept holding Emily's hand, as they walked up her stairs, down the upstairs hallway, and into her bedroom. As he turned that corner into her room, again he was assaulted with memories.

And again, the ones that haunted him weren't he would have expected.

Still, he pushed them aside to focus in on this moment as he walked her the rest of the way over to the open bathroom door. That's when he finally let go of her hand so he could take the box out of the paper bag and handed it to her.

"I'll wait here for a minute."

Her fingers brushed his as she accepted the test with a sigh.

"Okay, I'll just be a second."

Just before she shut the door, she looked back at him. So he gave her a little smile and whispered, "remember, we'll work it out no matter what."

"Right," she nodded and turned away, muttering to herself, "no matter what."

After the door had clicked shut Hotch closed his eyes for a second before he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed . . . then he bent over to put his head between his knees.

He sucked in a ragged breath.

It felt like he had just been transported back in time to the days when men were kept in the waiting room. Granted, he only had to wait like a minute until she called him in, but still.

It felt very isolating.

Especially when after that minute he still hadn't heard her call for him. He was getting a little worried . . . and warm.

He was always hot and her heat had come on.

After he'd slipped off his suit jacket, he dropped it onto the bed and rolled up his sleeves. All of that killed another thirty seconds, but still there was no call from Emily. So he turned and walked back over to the door.

He was just about to knock to see if she was okay, when he heard the toilet flush . . . he pulled his fist back.

Then he heard the water run and a few seconds later the door finally opened and she stepped back.

"Uh," her lips pursed, "it's gonna be a couple more minutes until it's ready."

"Right," he nodded, and then stood there for a second before he walked past her into the bathroom.

For some reason it seemed like they should wait in there. Like somehow it would take longer if they went and did something to pass the time.

Emily walked over and sat down on the corner of the tub. Hotch glanced at the stick sitting on the counter, then rolled his eyes a second later . . . obviously he couldn't tell anything. So he started pacing back and forth. Then he realized that was probably not helping Emily's anxiety level so he went over to lean against the wall instead.

Another moment passed in silence before Emily cleared her throat.

"I uh, think I know how this happened."

Hotch raised his eyebrow and she shook her head.

"No," she continued on, now a little flustered, "I mean if it's positive. I've been thinking about it all day, and I'm worried that I might have missed a pill."

Apparently noting how his eyebrow inched up even higher, she bit her lip.

"Yeah, uh, a few days after New Year's, I um, I had dropped the little case," she made a reference to said identical case sitting on the counter, "and they'd spilled out on the counter. I thought I'd gotten them all, and I had counted them," she nodded to herself, "I did, but," she sighed, "maybe I counted wrong. Because we had just flown back from that wretched case in Boise and I was so tired. That's how I'd dropped them to start. I was half asleep unpacking after midnight." Her voice faded, "and by the time we got together, I had forgotten all about that happening. If I had remembered though, I swear, I would have said that we needed a condom too, just to be safe," she whispered, "I'm sorry."

God, he was going to hate her now. This was all her fault. Yeah, they had both participated in the sex, but she'd promised him that they would be fine. He'd trusted her . . . her eyes started to burn . . . and she'd let him down.

Hotch blinked in surprise . . . he wasn't actually expecting that. A real reason this could have happened. He'd just assumed it was that random percentage.

For just a second a tickle of something unkind wanted to surge up, but then he closed his eyes and shook his head.

It didn't matter how they got here. Here was where they were.

He looked back over to Emily, and seeing the guilt on her face, he moved to alleviate it.

"It doesn't matter," he shook his head, "it could have been that, or we could have used a condom, and we'd still be here right now. However we got here, Prentiss," he shrugged, "this is where."

Even though Emily was relieved that he didn't seem to be upset with her, a chill still went through her body at his term of address. She gave him a sharp look.

"Thank you, but could you please not 'Prentiss' me right now?" She bit back tightly, "I might be carrying your child and you calling me that, makes me feel kind of cold . . . sir."

The second the word was out of her mouth, she knew that she'd just been a snotty bitch, for no good reason at all. And he didn't deserve it. Because she knew that he hadn't meant anything by the "Prentiss." All day, he'd been really great about everything.

Amazing actually, given the circumstances.

It was just that when he'd said it, she'd felt so alone. And for that second she saw her future, one where he left her to deal with this by herself . . . and she'd gotten pissed at him for something that he hadn't even done.

At Emily's rebuke, Hotch winced and nodded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't . . . I'm sorry. Just, habit."

When they weren't in the field he usually called her 'Emily' now. But sometimes, when he was stressed, he just automatically defaulted back to 'Prentiss.'

And obviously he was a little stressed at the moment.

But then he looked down at her imploringly.

"But as long as you brought that up, also, please, no more sirs. Not even joking. Not tonight. As you said, you might be carrying my child and you calling me 'sir,' makes me feel like a real," his voice faded as he looked away, "sleaze."

Now feeling like an even bigger asshole for the way she'd spoken to him, Emily bit her lip as she looked up at him sadly.

"Aaron," she said softly, "please don't think that way. No excuses, I was just being a bitch because I'm on my last nerve here, but that doesn't make it okay." She shook her head firmly, "you didn't do anything wrong. I'm an adult and my decision to be with you, was my decision. You didn't pressure me at all. If anything, I approached you. So I'm sorry if I made you feel any worse about this than you did."

And then, trying to make amends she patted the space next to her.

"Now here," she let out a soft sigh as she gave him a faint smile, "come sit down and wait with me."

After a moment's hesitation, Hotch crossed the room and dropped down next her on edge of the bathtub. Emily immediately reached over to take his hand and intertwine their fingers. When Hotch looked down at their fingers joined together, he felt an ache in his chest.

He looked away.

Another minute passed before Emily checked her watch, and murmured, "show time." So with a breath caught in her throat, she let go of Hotch's hand, stood up and walked over to pick up the stick off the counter. She didn't look at it though, not until she'd walked back to the bathtub and held it up between the two of them.

She wanted them to find out at the same time. And they did . . . two solid blue lines right there in front of them. She swallowed.

Whoa.

Hotch's eyes widened as he stared at the results on the stick.

Okay . . . he let out a slow breath . . . this was really happening. And now being careful to keep any reactive expression off his face, he looked up to her.

"So what do you want to do?"

For himself, after having almost nine hours to think about it, he had decided that he wanted to keep it . . . he wanted to keep it so badly. No matter how much of a mess this was going to be, he didn't care. Because this was a baby that he'd made with Emily. It was part of her, and she had grown to mean so much to him.

He couldn't imagine aborting it.

But it was her body, so ultimately it was her decision. And he wasn't going to pressure her, or make her feel guilty either way.

He knew that this was hard enough without him piling on and making it worse.

Emily bit her lip as she first looked down at Hotch, and then back to the stick she was holding.

"I want to keep it," she said quietly.

But then she repeated the words more firmly.

"I want to keep it." She looked back to him as she let her arm fall to her side, "just on principle I do, but also, I'm older now, and this is maybe my last chance for a baby."

Her gaze fell back to the floor as she continued softly.

"When I was fifteen, I uh, I had an abortion," she paused, "I was kind of messed up then and something really bad had happened to me earlier that year and I was . . ." she felt her eyes sting, "well, for a long time I didn't really have a lot of self esteem. And that was a way to get boys to like . . . me."

As she trailed off, Emily realized that she'd never told anyone that story before. But then she remembered their night together, and her belief that her secrets would be safe with him. Over these subsequent weeks, they'd grown much closer, and she'd come to see that her initial instincts had been right. Everything that they'd talked about, everything she'd told him about her life and her past . . . and some of the questionable choices she'd made over the years . . . he'd listened to her, and he'd been supportive . . . but he'd never judged.

Not once.

And over that time she had told him some of her secrets, but this one was a big one. The biggest actually, which made it even harder to say the next thing to him. Because she'd just exposed herself completely, and it would be devastating if he pulled back from her now.

Hearing the pain in Emily's voice, Hotch reached out and caught her hand.

What she'd said had immediately made think back to the old scar he'd seen on her thigh, and he'd known instantly that whatever the 'bad' thing was which had happened to her that year, it was connected to that mark.

It had to be.

Now with her tears starting to spill over, Emily looked back down to Hotch.

"I know you said earlier," she sniffled, "that we'd deal with this together. But also I know that was sort of a theoretical thing, and this is going to be such a mess for work. So if you don't, you know, want to be involved, then that's, uh," she swallowed, "okay."

It actually caused her physical pain to think that he might leave her alone. But she wanted to give him the out now. Now, before they moved on to other things. Made other decisions. Because when this got out, it would be the end of Hotch's career at the FBI.

Full stop.

And once that REALLY sunk in for him, the full implications for his future, he might decide that maybe the cost would be too high. And part of her understood that, which was why she wanted him to be really sure that this was what he wanted.

Before it was too late.

Hotch yanked his hand away from Emily's like it had been scalded. His eyes began to water as looked at over her in disbelief.

"You actually think so little of me?" His voice crackled, "that I'd abandon you? That I'd abandon my child?" He looked away, "Jesus, Emily, that's just . . ."

He didn't even know how to finish that thought. What kind of scumbag did she think he was?!

Seeing immediately just how badly she'd hurt him, Emily threw the stick to the side and dropped down into Hotch's lap, trying desperately to fix the wound she'd just inflicted.

"Oh Aaron," she sobbed, "no!" she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry," she continued on, now sniffling against his shoulder, "of course I don't think that. I could never think such a terrible thing about you."

Then she leaned back so she could see his face.

His eyes were moist, and he still looked so hurt . . . which made her feel awful(!) . . . but at least it did appear that he was listening to her.

She put her hand on his cheek.

"My words just came out wrong," she sniffed, "what I was trying to say," she cleared her throat, "was that I didn't want you to feel pressured to go down a certain path with what comes next. We aren't in a romantic relationship. We just had one really amazing night, and now," she gave him a watery smile, "you've given me a baby, but unfortunately," her expression twisted to one of sadness, "this baby is going to destroy your career. And I feel like, because I might have missed that pill, that this could kind of be, all my fault." Her voice crackled, "and I don't want my mistake to ruin your life."

Her eyes started to burn again as she stroked her fingers along his jaw.

"But I didn't mean to hurt you with what I said," she whispered as the tears started to pool again, "I would never want to hurt you."

Mollified by Emily's apology, and unable to bear her crying, Hotch blinked away most of his own tears as he moved his hand to the small of her back.

He slowly exhaled.

"Before you said anything," he answered softly, "I had already decided earlier, on my own, that I wanted this baby too."

Seeing the relief spread over her face, Hotch paused for a moment before his lips pursed.

"And I appreciate very much, you clarifying what you meant but," he shook his head, "there is no fault here, Emily. You need to forget about that word. It doesn't apply here. What this is, is an equal sharing of responsibility. It was on that night," he gave her a pointed look, "and it will be going forward, okay?"

Thrilled that he wanted to keep the baby . . . and also that he had forgiven her . . . Emily gave Hotch a bright, watery smile.

"Okay," she whispered back while pressing her hand to his cheek, "thank you."

Now that the difficult moments had passed, Hotch became consciously aware that he had Emily in his lap for the first time in over a month. It was all that he had wanted when he was here last week.

And now he had her in his arms again.

All these weeks they'd been spending together since that night, talking, laughing, sharing stories about their life, it had been great. But it wasn't as great as this.

Just having her wrapped up in his arms while they did those same things.

Because that night with her, she had made him truly happy in ways that he hadn't been in so long. But he just kept telling himself to get over it. That he could never pursue anything more with her, because it would ruin both of their careers.

But now his career was ruined anyway.

So that was why, today, while he'd been deciding what he wanted to do about the baby, he'd also been deciding what he wanted to do about Emily. Because events had now transpired which were obviously going to move him FAR past the point of pretending that he didn't have feelings for her.

Serious ones.

But he just wasn't sure if he should bring that conversation up right now. Because with so much already happening, he didn't want to overwhelm her with more information.

More decisions.

But then suddenly she shifted in his arms and tucked her head down to rest on his shoulder. Then she let out a soft sigh that tickled his skin. And when she did that, he felt such an ache in his chest, that he knew he had to say something.

So he cleared his throat and murmured, "there is something else I wanted to tell you."

When she lifted her head to look at him with her eyes wide, and faintly concerned, he quickly brought his hand up to touch her cheek.

"It's nothing bad," he continued on with a brush of his fingers along her skin, "I promise. It's just," he swallowed and let his hand fall away, "and I don't know if this is the right time to bring this up, but when I was thinking today about the baby, I was also thinking about what happened with us last month, and what's been happening between us since, and what I'd like to see happen in the future."

He stopped then, mustering his courage as she looked at him expectantly. So he decided to just plow through the rest of it.

It was put up or shut up time.

"I have feelings for you, Emily," he said softly, "the romantic kind. That was something I started to realize when we were together last month, it's not just a reaction to what's happening now. So is that something that you would like to talk about, or," he took a breath, "not?"

The parameters of their relationship were changing dramatically no matter what, so any concerns about their supervisor/subordinate relationship were already now moot. And until today, that was really his biggest hurdle to dealing with this situation. But with his career imploding either way, he didn't see any reason not to take his shot.

Now it was her call.

Feeling a wave of relief, Emily gave Hotch a soft smile as she traced her thumb over the curve of his lips.

"You really weren't sure if this would be the right time to tell the future mother of your child, that you have romantic feelings for her?"

As a slight blushed touch his skin, and his mouth quivered in amusement, Hotch looked at Emily for a moment before he tipped his head forward to rest it against her shoulder.

"When you say it like that," he murmured back, "I kind of sound like an idiot."

"Yeah," she chuckled, "kind of. But even so, I had also given our personal situation some thought today, and I came to the conclusion that I'd like it very much if you were my idiot," her lip quirked up, "so to speak."

Hotch was letting out a snort, even as he was raising his head up to look at her hopefully, "yeah?"

Her eyes started to glisten.

"Yes. I have feelings for you too, and they've been getting stronger. I've been ignoring them, hoping they'd go away. But that night, I wanted so much to continue spending time with you, to try and see if we could maybe build something real," she smiled, "and I think over this past month, we have made it real."

Seeing Hotch quickly nod his agreement, she ran her fingers along his jaw.

"Okay," she let out a slow breath, "so then I think if we keep building on that, we could have a shot to make this work. Obviously these are not ideal circumstances to start a relationship. There's going to be so much more pressure, but," a tear ran down her cheek as her voice broke, "I'm so glad this is your baby, Aaron. You're sweet, and funny and kind. You're such a good man. I honestly can't think of a better father for my child."

At Emily's praise, Hotch felt his own eyes begin to burn and he had to blink and look away for a moment. But that's when he suddenly realized that now that he was again allowed to kiss her. So when he looked back, he brought his hand to her jaw, tipped her head slightly to the side . . . and gently pressed his lips to hers.

It wasn't a demanding kiss. It kind of felt like one to seal the moment.

Either way it was just as good as he remembered.

And as he was breaking away, he murmured against her lips, "you're going to be a great mother."

She really would be. Emily was a kind person with a good heart. And as he looked at her now, seeing the joy in her smile, it actually made his chest hurt.

Emily leaned back slightly to wipe the corner of her eye.

"Thanks," she answered happily, "I really hope so. I want to be a good mom."

His eyes crinkled.

"I know you will be."

And then Hotch laid his head against her shoulder again, for the first time in a long time feeling a warmth in his chest. Happiness.

A nearly forgotten emotion.

His eyes wandered down then to the stick lying on the floor. That's when Emily turned her head slightly, and apparently following his gaze, she tipped her head against his as she said in wonderment.

"It's a baby. We're actually having a baby."

All day long all she'd done was worry that the test would be positive. But the moment she'd seen those lines, all of that worry was gone.

This was a gift.

And the fact that Hotch wanted to be with her, wanted to try to make this work like a real little family unit, that was the BEST possible outcome! One she hadn't even allowed herself to hope for today.

Hotch tightened his arms around Emily.

"Yep," he nodded slowly, "we're actually having a baby."

His heart began to swell as a realization suddenly hit him . . . he was going to be somebody's daddy again. Maybe this time he'd have a little girl.

His eyes crinkled.

One that looked like Emily. And he couldn't help but think back to the moment he found out he and Haley were having Jack. He wasn't there when she took the test, she told him later. And though he'd never said anything to her, he was sorry that he'd missed sharing the moment of finding out together that they were going to be parents.

But at least he had that with Emily.

And even though this was going to be a hard road, with a lot of things to figure out . . . what to do about work being a huge one . . . it still didn't diminish the happiness he was feeling. Because although he couldn't go so far as to say that he was fully in love with Emily right now, he knew that a little further down the road that would likely be his state of being.

With her eyes sparkling, Emily turned to him then and said, "you know I just thought of something. We are going to have SUCH a good looking kid! I mean, I know that it being healthy is the most important thing, but hey, come on," she grinned, "having a pretty baby is a major bonus!"

Hotch's lips twitched, "that's true. A pretty baby is a major bonus."

She laughed and he kissed her neck to hide his smile.

Yeah, he was definitely falling in love.

A/N 2: Again, hopefully, successfully, pulling off the trick here, as has to be done in each new universe, which makes it logical that at THIS point in time (whichever month we're in) that they could be ready to move into couplehood, even though in Girl proper they were just moving into the AU phase of their, (always complicated) relationship. They get to have a more 'typical' romantic relationship here. Not that it's typical to get pregnant and THEN decide you want to date, but, it's not like an actual One Night Stand. They had an existing 'relationship' and affection for one another, and the one night amped up all of those feelings that they wouldn't have tapped into otherwise. Then another month of straight of bonding…to here.

And the birth control pills! Yes most of them come in blister packs to avoid the EXACT issue that Emily outlines here. BUT, I needed a way for Em to think she might have missed a pill, and a pill literally going missing, was about the only way for that to happen, short of her having been drunk or in a coma for a minimum of 36 hours straight. And as Girl proper and the holiday offshoots had covered over the bulk of her time and activities for the 3 weeks prior to her and Hotch hooking up, it was hard to jam a 'light coma' into that timeframe. So, that's that.

This had a fair amount of angsty in the beginning, and I actually wish I could have dragged that out for another chapter. The "longing to be together but they can't" because of all the work crap, thing. I wanted to drag it a bit, not to be sadistic, but just to add another layer, but I really couldn't. Because this WAS the time for him to tell her that he had feelings for her. Huge, life altering decisions were being made, and Hotch acknowledging that he was falling HARD for this woman, was definitely a relevant piece of data to factor into the discussion :) And I'd already set it up that it was clear, on both sides, that they knew there was the possibility for something between them, so it wouldn't have completely come out of left field for her. She wouldn't have been suspicious that it was just about the baby and not her.