For Day 3 of OQ Fix-It Week.
Prompt: Quest to bring Robin back.
I played with the wording in this prompt, and made it more of an emotional quest than the expected run into the Underworld. I hope you'll like it anyway.
PS: This chapter is rated M.
He hasn't been the same since he returned from New York.
He's... distracted. Aloof. Goes through the motions of his old life with none of the feeling, walking through camp as if on auto pilot, kissing her on the cheek robotically rather than lovingly, smiling at his son without conveying any pride or happiness over the new squirrel he's caught in his little trap.
He's not himself, and Regina cannot take it anymore.
It's a rough subject to bring up, and her own insecurities play with her every time she tries. He'll run, they tell her, pack up the few things he keeps at the mansion and walk away.
They haven't had sex since that fateful night in her vault. And she wants him so much, has missed him terribly, but she's too scared to try it, now that he's learning to navigate the trauma of being used in that way.
Regina knows that pain well, has carried it with her since her early days as queen, when she'd be constantly used in much the same manner. She understands what it's like to feel violated, to be violated so despicably. But she'd been alone with that pain for a long time, had no one who cared about her enough to help. Robin does, and everyone is trying so hard to get him to come out of his shell, to engage him in the fun aspects of his old life so that he starts to enjoy it again.
It makes no difference.
She feels him tossing and turning on the nights he spends with her, hears his frustrated huffs and the deep sighs he lets out when he decides sleep is just not an option for the evening. His side of the bed is cold in the mornings, and she knows he's probably spent the night on the couch, or in her library, poring over books rather than resting.
She has no idea what to do, but she wants her thief, her soulmate back.
Zelena has been provided with the best prenatal care, and kept secluded in her cell where she can't hurt anyone, magically or otherwise. And as the weeks go by and Robin gets accustomed to his life in Storybrooke once again, it seems her absence from his line of view helps him reacquaint with his old self, helps him rediscover what it was to be one amongst the heroes, someone strong and dependable, someone honorable, and loving, and wonderful.
He's chipper today, has been laughing more, smiling more, and those smiles seem to reach his eyes for the first time in what feels like ages. He even kisses her with more bravado, lips pressing against hers unprompted as they get into bed that night, hands roaming over her body. It's happened before, a few times, though he always backs out last minute, but she'll take what she can get.
Henry is at Emma's, and Roland is spending the night with his uncles in the forest. They are alone and uninterrupted for the night, and so Regina accepts him gladly, kisses back eagerly, and then his shirt is off, and his tongue is in her mouth, his body moving on top of hers, settling between her legs as she spreads them for him.
She sucks on his lower lip as her hands settle on his back to bring him closer, nails digging into his shoulder blades. The kiss deepens, and she moans when Robin thrusts involuntarily against her.
And then he leaves her, a rush of cold air making her shudder as he withdraws yet again, exhaling and shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he tells her, flopping back to his end of the bed and turning off the bedside lamp, moving to lie on his side with his back to her, ashamed.
They both go quiet for what feels like hours. Regina is staring at the ceiling in the dark, hands laced over her stomach as she breathes in and out. She's trying her best to be as silent as possible while she waits for him to fall asleep, despite her mind screaming at her to just go and let him have the bed to himself for the night.
She needs a drink... or twenty. Needs to take some time to calm her rapidly beating heart and the emotions drifting wildly all over it.
And then Robin's lamp turns back on, the warm glow bathing the room, and his voice comes to her, soft and defeated. "I feel... dirty," it tells her. "Like I'm damaged goods no one should touch."
"Robin," she starts, her voice sympathetic, but he speaks again, breaks her heart with a simple sentence.
"I'm not worthy of you anymore, Regina."
She sighs at that, puts a hand on his back and coaxes him to roll over and look at her.
"I'm the one who gets to decide that," she tells him when he acquiesces, "And what happened, what she did... it was not your fault, and you're no less of a man, of a person, just because she did this to you. You deserve happiness, Robin, don't let her take that from you."
"I didn't even want... I only wanted to make things work with my wife. Even when all I could think about was you, I wanted... I wanted it to work between Marian and I. For Roland. If I hadn't been so hell bent on making that happen, I could've avoided—"
She cuts off his whispered tirade with a kiss, presses her lips to him gently and stops him by telling him again, more firmly this time, "It wasn't your fault."
And then, because she needs to say it more than he needs to hear it, she adds, "And I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you. Always."
Robin nods, turns his head when she cradles his cheek, landing a soft kiss on her palm.
"Sometimes it feels like I don't know how to be myself anymore," he confesses after a deep breath, and it guts her, the way his voice goes low, his gaze veering away from hers in shame.
"You don't have to be," Regina tells him, thumb rubbing over his stubble. "Not yet. You get to take time to process this, Robin. You get to be angry, you get to grieve what she took from you."
"I don't want to feel this way. I want... I want you, but every time I try, I just... I get too caught up in my own head, I have all these awful thoughts about the last time I laid with a woman and it... I don't want that hanging between us. I don't want you to look at me and remember what she did to me. I don't want to remember what she did to me."
She knows that feeling all too well, where all you want to do is scrub yourself raw because it's the only way you'll feel clean. There was a time she felt this way. A time where Robin took it upon himself to kiss away every ounce of self-doubt and apprehension she still harbored due to her past. She'd hesitated for a moment, that first night in her vault, and Robin had taken up the task of erasing her nerves with well placed caresses and whispered words of love and second chances...
And now, for him, that is exactly what she'll do.
Her hand falls to rest on his chest, her smile small and hesitant as she breathes, "Let me help?"
That hand runs over his abs, then back up again as she kisses him. She starts slow, feeling the smooth skin under her fingertips and working up the courage to venture lower.
When she does, he flinches a little, but his kiss grows a little needier, a little deeper, so she keeps moving her fingers over his navel, moving back up again to give him time to breathe before she caresses her way back down to the same spot.
"Is this okay?" she asks in a whisper against his mouth, and feels him nod against her before trapping her lips in his once more. He's warm, and solid, and eager against her, undulating his hips as if reaching for her hand, but she doesn't give it to him yet, moves her touch back up to his chest, his neck... her mouth strays from his, though, peppers kisses down the column of his throat, over his right shoulder and down his chest, savoring the salty taste of his skin before she moves back up, trailing another path over his left shoulder and up his neck until she can pause at his ear.
"Okay?" she asks again, just to confirm, and his answering nod is quick before he turns his head to her, kissing her frantically, his tongue battling hers as his hand finally moves to grasp her, hoisting her atop him, one of her legs on either side of him.
Regina doesn't miss a beat, waves her hand to make their clothes disappear in a shimmery cloud of purple smoke. It gives Robin pause, but it's not a bad pause, rather he... chuckles a little.
"What?" she asks, curious.
"I'm just very glad your magic is purple," he says. It's... not what she expected, not right now, when the atmosphere seemed to be so heavy, but it brings a smile out of him, has him tilting his head up to catch her lips again, and she can't help but melt into it.
She gives him a moment when they part, sits there and lets his hands roam her body, and good, it seems he's okay while touching her. Enjoys it, even. And so does she, arching into his hand when it kneads her breast, thumb passing over her nipple. His other hand is moving up her thigh to her waist, her ribcage, and back down over her stomach as he sits up on the pillows, coaxing her low enough for him to take her other nipple into his mouth and suck.
Regina answers the action with a sharp inhale, then moans out his name when he sucks harder. She can feel his tongue flicking at the pert peak while it's trapped in his mouth. He's slow, painfully so, and then he lets her go, only to catch her eyes with his and kiss her again.
Robin's hand travels down, wedges itself between their bodies. The angle is a little awkward, but she feels the tips of his fingers reach her clit and give it a cursory rub, followed by lazy circles to match the pace of their kisses, and Regina moans as wetness builds between her legs.
"So beautiful," he tells her, the words melting into the air as he veers his mouth to her neck and shoulder, his lips warm, tongue wet as he trails a path of fire on her skin. He doesn't hurry, takes his time kissing and breathing her in, and Regina feels beautiful, feels the truth of his words behind every touch. One last sluggish little rub and then his hand leaves her clit, moving up her thigh and then her back, a soft caress that makes her shiver pleasantly as she sits up for a moment and stares down at him, naked and vulnerable and glorious beneath her.
He's hard, pressed right between her legs where she straddles him, and Regina takes advantage of their position, leans back down and starts rocking her hips as slowly as she can manage, feeling him slide along her folds while her lips get busy devouring his.
She doesn't pick up the pace, keeps the steady, measured tempo of her body as her sex glides over him, coating him in the wetness she's built thanks to his attentions.
"That feels amazing," he tells her when they break the kiss, head lolling back as his eyes close.
But his hands are now held in fists at his sides, knuckles brushing over her thighs, and she can still see some tension in his neck, knows he's trying —and failing— to push away the memories, the realization of what Zelena has done.
Regina will not have her sister as a ghost in her bedroom. She will not let her win this.
"Robin, look at me," she orders fondly, sitting up once more, and he opens his eyes to focus them on hers, relaxing a bit when he makes contact. "It's just us," she insists as she slides just over the tip of his cock. "Just you and me."
He sighs at that, and a little ripple of satisfaction courses through her when his clenched fists open and move slowly to caress her thighs, until he's gripping loosely at her waist, fingers pressing reassuringly as he whispers, "Want you."
"Take me," she offers, "feel me, Robin. Me, no one else."
She's so wet from rubbing up and down the length of his cock like this, feels herself sliding easier and easier, wanting to just take him inside her and ride him like there's no tomorrow, possess him and claim him as hers and hers alone. But she knows he's not ready for that right now, won't be for some time.
So instead, she moves just a couple of inches up his body, so that she's no longer aligned with his erection, and bends her torso over him, nipples grazing his chest as she kisses him again. One of his hands abandons her waist then, moving to her face and holding her to him, her head cradled there as he rubs a thumb over her cheek.
It's a slow kiss, everything tonight is slow, building in intensity but not in speed. He licks at her tongue, bites her lower lip, whispers how much he wants her, how much he loves her, but at no point does he go faster.
"Is this okay?" Regina asks when her hand reaches for his cock just behind her, pumping leisurely up and down his shaft, her thumb finding the tip and spreading the moisture she finds there. Robin nods, eagerly now, even gives her a strangled little Mmhmm as his eyes fall shut and his head thuds into the pillow.
She keeps it lazy, measured, but doesn't stop, keeps her grip firm and her eyes on him, until he opens his again and looks straight at her. She sees the need reflected there, the love, the relief that it's her, that she's here, and all she wants is to prolong that feeling for him, wants him to surrender to this. To them.
"That's it," she coaxes, "just feel it."
"So good," he breathes, his eyes drifting to where her hand continues its steady, slow ministrations. Up and down it goes, almost at a snail's pace, her tongue peeking out to wet her lower lip as her breathing starts to become shallow, her body desperate to feel him.
"Regina," he rasps, swallows thickly as she presses her thumb to his tip again.
It's just as she positions him against her entrance and starts to take him in that he tenses.
His tip is barely inside her, and he's hard, incredibly so, his breaths shallow and tongue licking his lower lip as he lets out little gasping moans. But something is wrong, something is holding him back, has his fists clenched at his sides again, his eyes shut tight.
So she stops.
His eyes flutter open and land straight on hers, and she sees it there, that hesitance, that... fear.
"We can stop," she offers, trying her best to convey her honesty in her tone. "We don't have to if you—"
"No, no," he interrupts, "I want to. God, Regina, how I want to, it's just..."
He's nervous, and she's never seen him like this before, doubting himself so much, especially not in this. She will not have it, will not let him shrink away into this jittery, fearful being on account of her sister's actions.
"What do you need, Robin?" she asks softly, and relief washes over her when he answers without more prodding.
"I... I'd like to be on top this time. If that's alright?"
He's still nervous, still hesitating, but at least he's told her what he wants, and Regina is all too happy to give it. With a little smile, she nods, then rolls off him and onto the bed, her back hitting the cool sheets as she lands.
Her legs are open, and Robin positions himself between them, staring down at her with a tender smile.
"You're stunning," he tells her, one hand running down the valley between her breasts, then skimming fingers over her stomach, down and down until he can reach her clit again, treating her to more of those lazy circles while he explores her body with his eyes.
Regina surrenders to it, arches her back to follow the touch of his hand, breathes his name when he presses a finger into her, and moans in response to the quiet Fuck, so wet he lets out.
She knows what he's doing. Reacquainting himself with her body, embedding the memory of it in his head so that it's her he sees, no one else. And there's something so primal in that, so raw despite the emotional, loving atmosphere they've built for this, that her very flesh tingles with the satisfaction.
She watches him, lets him touch all over, one hand running up and down her stomach, her leg, her rib cage, her breasts... the other hand stays tucked right between her thighs, one finger pushing slowly in and out. She's wet from the anticipation, from the need she has to feel him, but she wants him to do things on his own time, in his own way. He needs to lead. He needs to understand that he will not be hurt this time.
"I want you," he breathes. "Only you. It's always been you."
"Want you, too," she replies, her voice raspier than she means it to be. He bites his lip at the sound, though, then licks it as he watches her, that roaming hand settling low on her waist and squeezing there. The action seems to ground him, to keep him in the here and now rather than in the memories that trap him in his own head, and all she wants is to ease that pain, to continue providing whatever it is that's rooting him to this moment.
"Robin," she breathes, unable to say anything else. It's just that, just his name. She wants him to hear it, in her voice, not in Zelena's, or Marian's, but in hers, while he's touching her, while his pulse is racing for her and her alone.
"I..." he trails off, hesitant, and Regina asks again, What do you need? and all he does is add another finger inside her as he leans down and dots a line of kisses up from her bellybutton to her chest. And then his hand leaves her, and she whines at the loss, then moans when she he puts those fingers to his mouth.
He Mmms at the taste of her, murmurs about how he's missed it, and the way his voice trembles around the words has her heart beating faster, her hands itching to reach out and touch him.
He sits up then, pumping his cock while still situated between her spread legs, his knees now digging into the mattress. She gasps when he presses the tip of his cock to her clit, coating it in the wetness of her. Robin sighs at the sensation, closes his eyes, and Regina watches as he just... feels.
When he finally leans over her body and enters her, Regina moans her satisfaction, her body shivering with the pleasure as it welcomes him back. Her walls squeezing around him as he gets deeper, until he's in to the hilt and their bodies are flush with each other, his face buried in the crook of her neck, warm breath washing over her overheated skin as his elbows press into the bed on either side of her head.
His fingers are toying with her hair a bit, and Regina lets her own hands rise, running her nails tentatively along his shoulder blades. To her delight, he moans at the feeling, the vibrations of it hitting a sensitive point right on the side of her neck that stokes the fire inside her. And then he finally begins to move.
She's holding him tightly against her, almost hugging him to her body as his hips start pulling back at a snail's pace, then pushing back in at the same speed, letting her feel the delicious stretch as every inch of him enters her, that strangled whisper of Regina that she has missed so much finally echoing in her ears once again.
He keeps at it, slow and steady, a lazy out and a lazier in. Neither of them is looking to come just yet, it seems. Regina just wants to feel him, to bask in having him like this again, and she supposes he feels similarly, if the way he sighs on his next slow thrust is anything to go by.
"Good?" she breathes, and he nods into her neck, pushes back into her as his mouth dots kisses along her jaw. They're sweaty, their combined body heat warming them both a little too much. It's perfect, and intimate, and god, she can feel all of him as he pulls back again, pushes in again, sighs her name again...
"So good," he says. "Nothing— mm... nothing's ever felt as good as you, Regina."
It's one of the many things he'd always tell her when they were like this, before he left. Satisfaction zings through her at the familiar words, and she undulates her hips when he thrusts again, meeting him in that same, leisurely pace as she arches her back, her chest pressing further against his.
Robin pushes himself up on his elbows again, the tip of his nose brushing hers on the next roll of his hips. Her legs spread a little wider, letting him get a little deeper, and the change has him hitting that blissful spot inside her now, slowly in and slowly out, each hit a measured, steady thing, but no less pleasurable. Regina moans loudly, nods eagerly at his whispered Right there? and turns her head to the side to plant a loving kiss on his bicep.
"I love you," he rasps, buried all the way inside her once more. I love you, she answers when he moves back out, then in again, pushing and stretching her. It's erotic, the way he savors her, the way he groans every time he enters her, how his eyes close and immediately open again because he doesn't want to miss a second of this...
"So close," she tells him, her hands raking nails over his shoulders, and he moans at that, drops his head into her neck and kisses his way up to her lips, picking up the pace enough so that the wave of pleasure don't have time to abate before he's creating another, and another, and another. It's not fast, exactly, but it's enough, and it feels incredible.
She's gasping now, enjoying every slide of his cock inside her, the way he hits that spot repeatedly, driving her closer and closer to the edge.
Her arms move down under his then, hands roaming his back and pressing him closer almost possessively, and it's... it clicks in him, she can see it. She sees that light flicker back in his eyes, sees that raw need and desire and love spark with more intensity, and she suddenly needs to just feel... more.
"Please," she says, and doesn't have to elaborate. Because he knows, he knows her so well, her body, the way she reacts to him, he knows it all.
Shifting just slightly to lean his weight on one arm, he frees the other and moves that hand down between them, rubbing her clit in fast little circles now, a contrast to his steady thrusting, firm and hard and oh-so-perfect that she's suddenly whimpering a Yes! that comes out a lot louder than she'd meant it. It seems to spur him on, though, seems to get him more in the moment, and he chases her moans with tongue-filled kisses, his chest pressed flush against hers as his hips buck into hers again and again and again.
She comes with a strangled cry, has nails scoring along his back as she gasps the pleasure of her orgasm. And Robin thrusts right through it with a gruff Fuck that spirals into a moan just before he brings his mouth to hers again.
He's all tongue and wet little sucks on her lower lip, delicious sensation washing over her as he thrusts harder, pushes into her more firmly, his hand falling from her clit and moving up to knead her breast, until he comes with a low moan that she swallows with more kisses.
They're both out of breath, can't seem to move just yet. Both his arms now hold him above her, though a bit shaky now, his whole body trembling a bit with the aftershocks of orgasm and the weight of the moment. Regina turns her head, dots her lips over his bicep again, then looks up at him with a satisfied smile, one hand rising to run gentle fingers over his cheek, his jaw, his lips.
"There you are," she says softly.
He's gasping still, and she can feel his racing pulse when she runs her hand down the length of his neck. She hasn't quite caught her breath yet, either, and her breasts press into his chest with every calming inhale. Robin leans in, the tip of his nose brushing hers before he lands a tiny kiss on it and moves off of her, rolling onto his back beside her.
Regina gasps a bit at the loss of him, presses her thighs together and takes a deep breath before she rolls onto her side, her head propped up on her hand while her free arm comes to rest over his chest, fingers drawing random patterns over his skin.
"That was..." he whispers. "I never thought I'd get to feel like that again."
"Relaxed?" she asks curiously.
"Happy," he counters. "I've missed you."
"Missed you, too," she tells him, unashamed at the way her voice breaks on the words.
"I don't know how long it'll last," he rasps. "I think that's what scares me the most. I am... overjoyed right now. But I don't know when that fear, that... that self disgust... will show up again."
"I guess I'll just have to get you naked as often as possible, then," she teases him, making him laugh before her lips meet his tenderly. When they part, he's smiling.
"I love you, Regina Mills," he says then, his sincerity still causing her heart to do little somersaults in her chest, no matter how many times he says the words.
Regina pecks his cheek in answer, then peppers kisses over his shoulder as she cuddles closer.
They doze off for a while, content in their nakedness, trading soft kisses whenever either of them wakes for a few seconds before lazily sinking back into the blissfulness of sleep.
She's not naive enough to believe that it's over, that he'll only progress from here. There will be setbacks, and it will hurt them both. But she will be there, supporting him, loving him, just as he has her.
It's what soulmates do, after all.