For OQ Fix-It Week Day 4 - The Events After 4A Never Happened
He calls her on his very first night in New York.
They made it safely, he tells her. Found Neal's apartment just as she explained they would. He thanks her again for her help, and there's a moment of silence that stretches this new awkwardness that has settled between them.
Because he was not supposed to call.
A clean break. That's what they agreed on, a way to make this new reality a little easier to live with.
"Robin—" she starts, but he cuts her off with an I know, I know, I'm sorry, I just...
"I know," she whispers into the phone. "I miss you, too."
She hears something like a sniffle on the other end, and the image of tears falling down his face at the town line assaults her, blurring her vision as her own tears form and spill.
"Roland's been asking about that book Henry was reading to him," he says, his voice shaky.
"Harry Potter," Regina answers, grateful for the change of subject. "You can get him a copy at pretty much any bookstore, I'm sure he'll enjoy reading it with you."
"I will. Thank you," he says, and there's that awkwardness again, weighing on them as they try to find the words to say goodbye for what feels like the millionth time since they found each other.
"I, uh... I have to, um... look over some things at the office," she ventures lamely.
"Of course, I... I'll leave you to it," he stammers, adding a hopeful, "I'll talk to you soon?"
And because she's weak, and cannot bring herself to give up this shred of a connection they have left, she tells him, "Of course. Talk to you soon."
Hanging up the call triggers endless tears, and Regina simply lies in bed, clutches a pillow that still smells of him to her chest, and cries herself to sleep.
"I miss you," he greets her two weeks later, when they've given up all pretenses of cutting each other lose, and have instead resorted to hiding in private corners to have these little chats, unbeknownst to their families.
"I miss you, too," she says fondly, though her heart still aches over the empty spot he's left there.
"I saw a woman today in Central Park, her back was turned and I could've sworn it was you."
"Did you?" she asks with a chuckle. Like this isn't tearing her apart inside.
"I even ran to her," Robin says, "thinking I'd catch you, and kiss you, and finally feel all that lovely hair between my fingers again, but she turned around before I got to her and, well..."
"Good thing you didn't accost a stranger, then," she jokes, and he laughs bitterly on the other end of the line, huffs a bit, and then breaks her heart.
"I hate living without you, Regina," he mutters.
"Robin, we agreed. For your family, for—"
"I know. I know," he interrupts, his voice sounding somewhat exasperated. "But this is... Not being with you is torture, I don't know how much longer I can take."
"It'll get easier in time," she consoles, fighting so hard to keep the tears at bay as she brings up their agreement yet again with "And if... if we were to stop the phone calls, maybe it would hel—"
"No," he cuts her off desperately. "I can't just cut you off, Regina. I need to hear your voice, I need..."
A broken sigh leaves him then, and then all she hears is his breathing, slow and measured.
And then he tells her, "I'm sorry. If you want to stop the phone calls, we will."
"I don't want to," Regina admits, "but I think it might be best for both of us."
His voice shakes when he tells her "Very well. I won't call. I'm sorry. I love you."
The call ends then, the line going dead before they get a chance to say proper goodbyes. And it's better this way, Regina reasons, because now they don't get the chance to second-guess their decision.
For the next two nights, Regina doesn't sleep.
He's so close to breaking. So close. Runs his thumb over the photo of her that he keeps in his phone, thinks back to her soft skin and the way her eyes light up when they find his.
Robin has regretted coming here from the moment he took the first step off the town line. And still he has persisted, trying and trying and trying to make this work, for Marian, because she deserves a good life with their son, deserves to be happy now that magic has given her a second chance.
But she's not the woman he remembers, and she is most definitely not the woman he loves. The woman he loves is in Storybrooke, suffering his absence just as he is hers, and every single time her name pops into his head, Robin unlocks his phone, pulls up her picture, and stares wistfully.
"This has to stop, Robin," he hears Marian say, and he sighs, tearing his eyes away from Regina's red lips to look at his wife.
"We can't be a family if you're pining for her all the time," she tells him, her tone sounding a bit... pitchy. Odd. He doesn't remember Marian's voice ever being so high.
It's also odd that that's what he chooses to focus on, instead of her very real, very valid observation.
"I know, I'm sorry," he says, and it seems that's all he knows how to say anymore. He knows, he's sorry, he knows, he's sorry.
"I want you here, Robin, but if you want to go back to her then by all means, do that; Roland and I will be fine."
He should be apologizing to her, telling her he'll be better, that he's sorry, but all he can think about is how dare she? How dare she assume Roland would stay with her when he barely knows her? How dare she presume Robin would even leave him here? How dare she?
"Do not use my son against me, Marian, it doesn't become you," he tells her then, surprised by his own bravado.
"Excuse me?!" she hollers, and good thing Roland is currently at school and not here to witness this.
"You think I would just leave? That I would just abandon Roland? He's my son, Marian. And you may be his mother, but you don't know him, you haven't raised him all these years, I have."
"Robin..." she starts, and he can see that she appears contrite, that she seems to be trying to apologize, but he's running with it now, unleashing his frustrations and channeling them in this one tiny argument.
"You don't get to decide how I feel, and you don't get to tell me to go and leave my son with you simply because I can't love you the way you want me to."
"So instead you want me to let you go on loving that woman and be happy living a lie?!" she yells back. "How is that fair?!"
And it's not, it's not fair at all. She's right.
He sighs, walking closer and putting his hand on her arm. "You're right," he tells her, "I'm sorry."
"Apology accepted," she answers. "But Robin, I can't go on like this. If we're going to be a family, I can't have that woman's ghost hanging over us for the rest of our lives."
"I understand," he says, sighing again before he fiddles with his phone until it shows Regina's number and photo on the screen. With his eyes on Marian, and holding his own heart in an imaginary vice grip, Robin presses the delete button, and Regina is gone.
"There," he says. "It's done."
Marian nods, and smiles, putting her hand on his cheek and rubbing her thumb over his stubble. It should be comforting, a loving gesture meant to soothe him after achieving such a difficult task, but it feels wrong. Her touch feels firmer, more aggressive. Marian used to be soft, all of her was soft, her touch, her face, her hair.
The woman before him is not soft, and the smile she's giving him is not sweet like he remembers. Instead, she looks rather... pleased. Morbidly so.
No. He must be imagining things. This has to stop. He needs to stop trying to find faults in Marian to justify his lingering feelings for Regina. He has to find a way to love Marian again. For Roland. For their family.
But deleting Regina's information from his phone doesn't change anything, because he knows the sequence of digits by heart now, and so two days later, after promising he'd never call again, he dials her number.
It's pathetic that he's doing this again, that he couldn't last more than two days before he broke his promise to stay away.
But there's relief in her voice when she picks up the phone, relief that breathes light into his soul when she sighs a broken "Robin" as greeting and his world finds its axis again.
A week later, when he's been gone from Storybrooke for a full month and a half, it's Regina who calls first.
He no longer has her in his contacts, but he knows her number better than his own at this point, and recognizes it instantly when his phone lights up as he, Marian and Roland are walking around Central Park.
She's never called him before. It's always him. Always his heart's own weakness that lands them in this endless, addictive cycle of hurt. The surprise of it being her who's done it this time has him startled, almost dropping his phone as they walk, and Marian looks at him curiously.
"Unknown number," he lies, making no mention of the stab of pain that almost splits his chest open as he touches the Ignore button.
She calls again, and again, and again, his phone buzzing away in his pocket as he absently plays catch with Roland while Marian watches. It's hard to breathe, but he does it, forces himself to, and for the next two hours, he pretends everything is fine.
He doesn't get to call Regina back until they return home. He asks Marian to please buy bread at the nearby store while he bathes Roland, and resists the urge to shiver when she kisses his cheek and tells him she'll be back soon.
It buys him no more than twenty minutes of alone time, so as soon as Marian leaves, he settles Roland into the tub, and lets him play with the water and his bath toys while he dials Regina's number as quick as his fingers will allow.
"Robin!" she whisper-shouts into the phone, and he can hear the relief and desperation swirling in her voice all at once.
"What's wrong?" he asks immediately, and she berates him for not answering before, telling him how worried she's been.
"I was with Marian," he defends, "I couldn't answer while she was—"
"She's not Marian!" Regina shouts then, and for a moment he doesn't understand what he's just heard. "You need to get out of there, Robin."
"What— What do you mean?"
"She's my sister. She's deceiving you to get back at me."
"No," Robin says, shaking his head even though she can't see him. "That can't be, we... we saw her die."
"We saw her disappear. She went back in time with Emma, she killed Marian and glamored herself as her. Robin you need to leave now."
Slowly, it begins to make sense to him. He'd told himself he'd been seeing things at first, but now he's not so sure. That... that malice he's been seeing in Marian's eyes whenever she tries to seduce him, or whenever she gets to hug Roland, it doesn't feel as a figment of his imagination anymore.
"Robin, are you there? Please, you have to leave! Before she does something horrible. Grab Roland and go. Please just go!"
Regina sounds so far away, like her voice is being drowned by the wind, the shock of her revelation still buzzing in his ears. The thought that he's been sleeping next to Zelena all this time, that he's kissed her, almost made love to her in an attempt to make things work, that he's been letting her parent his son under the guise of his dead mother... It all makes his skin crawl.
"I..." he says dumbly, unable to form proper words.
"Robin," Regina says urgently. "Robin, listen to me, I know it's a lot to take in, and I know you must be feeling disgusted by all this, but right now is not the time to think about that, right now I need you to get out of there. Please."
Her voice breaks on the last word, and it guts him to hear her sounding so scared.
"What is she planning?" he asks, trying to swallow the bile rising in his throat.
"I have no idea, but whatever it is it can't be good. Please, Robin, I need you to get as far away from her as you can, I... I can't... lose you."
She's crying. Gods, she's crying, and she needs him, and he's not there. Instead he's here, putting his son in danger after following his stupid code instead of his heart.
"I'll get out," he assures her, "I'll get Roland and go, I'll call you when we're safe, I promise."
With that, he hangs up, and suddenly he's running to the bathroom, phone still clutched in his hand as he throws open the toilet lid and finally lets the nausea bubble up and spill, retching into the toilet as he coughs and sputters his disgust.
"Papa, are you okay?" he hears Roland ask, and slowly lifts his head to find his son watching him with a worried look on his face, his little rubber ducky held in mid-air.
"I'll be fine, my boy. But bath time's been suspended. I need you to get dressed and pack your three favorite toys into your backpack for me, alright? I need to call..." he gulps, the lie tasting worse than the sour remnants of vomit on his tongue when he says "...I need to call your mama, and talk to her for a moment."
He helps his son out of the tub, wraps a fluffy towel around him and makes sure he gets to his room safely before returning to the bathroom. He looks a mess, the mirror showing the pallor of his skin, the exhaustion on his face. He feels as bad as he looks, too, wants nothing more than to wake up from this horrid nightmare.
But this is reality, and it'll get worse the longer he stays, so instead of dwelling, he splashes cold water on his face, sloshes some mouthwash after brushing his teeth, and then grabs his phone again.
He calls Mari— Zelena. And she answers in a stolen voice on the second ring.
"What's up?" she greets cheerfully.
"Could you, um... would it be alright if you grabbed us a few things apart from the bread?" he asks lamely.
"Of course! Anything for my boys," she says into the phone, the saccharine tone making Robin's stomach lurch painfully again.
He gives her a short list of the first eight or nine things that come to mind, like cheese and fruit and milk and toilet paper, prattles on about making dinner while she does the shopping, and answers her Love you! See you in a bit! with a stiff "Yes, see you soon" before he hangs up the call.
Right. Time to leave.
He spends ten minutes packing what he can. Some of his clothes and Roland's, and his chosen toys, the money they have left in the jar by the fridge, his phone and charger, and the maps that got him here when he left Storybrooke.
They've been receiving propaganda in the mail for hotels in the northeast, most of them in Boston, so he grabs a few of those unwelcome flyers and leaves them strewn over the little coffee table in the living room, hoping he can lead Zelena astray in case she decides to hunt them down. And then he takes his apartment keys, locks the door, and walks away with his son's hand clasped safely in his.
"Where are we going, Papa?" Roland asks curiously, and Robin says only one word in reply.
"Home."
Regina's been staring at her phone all day.
Anxiety eats at her from inside, wraps its tendrils around her heart and squeezes tightly as she wonders where Robin is, whether he managed to get out.
She doesn't dare call him, fearing that Zelena might be with him still and realize they're onto her. He said he'd call when he was safe, and he will, she knows he will, but it's been almost four hours, and she's worried. What if Zelena got to him? What if she found out they know? But no, no it can't be. Gold is the only one who knows, and he was imprisoned after he told her. The only reason he's back in Storybrooke is because Belle allowed him to return, and she's commanded him through the dagger to not speak a word of this to anyone, least of all Zelena. There's no way he's warned her, and even if he could, Robin would've had enough time to get away by then, wouldn't he?
Her phone finally chirps with a text message, and she gasps when it's Robin's name that pops on the screen.
Got out. On the road now. Call you when Roland's asleep.
A second text appears right under it, a short We're fine, we're safe. I love you that has her chuckling wetly with relief.
His call comes in about 77 minutes later (yes, she counts them), the dulcet melody of her ringtone flooding her with reassurance.
"Are you okay?" she asks in greeting.
"I am. I got us onto the first bus out."
"Oh, thank god," she sighs. "Did you... does she know that you...?"
"No, she was at the store when you and I first talked, so I called her and stalled her there while I got everything ready, by the time we left I reckon we still had a good half hour before she came back to the apartment. I left some fake clues there to lead her astray in case she comes looking."
"Good," Regina sighs, "that buys us a bit of a time window. How's Roland holding up?"
"He just went down for the night. He's a little confused. Kept asking me why we were leaving without his mama. I... I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth just yet."
"Understandable," she agrees, and her heart hurts for the wonderful little boy she can so clearly picture sleeping with his head on Robin's lap right now, curls falling over his face. It'll be hard to explain to him that his mama never came back after all, that those memories he's been building with her are false. That's definitely not a conversation to have while running from a dangerous foe. "You have to get away first. Where are you headed?"
"Maine," he says, like the answer is obvious, and her worry kicks up again.
"Robin, no," she breathes. "She'll know. She'll come for you when she realizes the clues are false. You have to go somewhere else. Far away where she can't find you."
"I'm coming home to you, Regina. I never should've left."
"But Zelena is dangerous," she argues. "Her magic is far stronger than mine, and the town is sealed off, I don't know how to let you through. If she reaches you before I can do that, I... I can't protect you from her."
"I'm not asking you to protect me, I'm asking you to trust me. Us. We beat her once, as long as we're together we can do it again."
"But—"
"Regina, do you love me?" he asks, interrupting her.
"Yes," she answers immediately, because of course she does, she wouldn't be doing any of this if she—
"Then that's all that matters. Roland and I can hide in the woods while we figure out a way for us to cross the town line back into Storybrooke. I've seen what you can do, I believe in you, we can do this."
"I..." she trails off, and at his prompting Yes? she finally finds the words. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
She hears him sigh on the other end, and her heart beats a little faster when he tells her "We belong together, Regina. I'm more certain of that now than ever before. You're my soulmate, I'm not letting you go ever again."
She lets the tears fall then, and it's bizarre, that she would find happiness in such dire circumstances, but he's coming home. He's choosing her. Again. And it thrills her.
"You're really coming back?" she rasps, and Robin's response is framed in a breathy chuckle that makes her soul crave him even more.
"My heart never truly left, my love," he assures her.
She sobs at that, but she's still smiling, still clinging to this insane idea that the universe might actually be giving her back her second chance. Her best chance.
"Regina," he insists, his voice a soothing balm for her battered heart. "You are my future. And once we're finally reunited, I intend to spend forever at your side."
And she can't help but hope now. Because he sounds so certain, so... positive, that it sparks that light of ecstatic anticipation inside her.
"We should be in Augusta in a few hours," he informs her then, "I'll call you when I get there, alright?"
She nods, smiling through her tears, then hums an affirmative into the mouthpiece when she remembers he can't see her, and tells him "Be careful."
"I will. I love you, Regina. I'll see you soon."
It takes her three days to come up with a solution to the town line problem. But she finds it.
Elsa's scroll grants passage into the town to anyone who holds it, and after acquiring it, Regina wastes no time calling Robin and letting him know.
He's been staying in a little inn in the next town over, just a few miles from the Storybrooke border. It'll only take him an hour to reach the town line, he tells her, and they agree to meet there at noon.
She's looking down at the yellow line at her feet, her breathing shallow as her nerves bubble up inside her. It's two minutes past their meeting time, and it's ridiculous to get anxious so soon, but she can't help it.
There's a rustling in the bushes on the other side, and then a head of brown curls bounces out from them, dimpled cheeks pulled up in a smile as Roland bounds as close as possible to the line and yells out her name.
Regina laughs through her tears, because there he is, safe, and sound, and happy to be home.
"Roland, I told you to wait for me," says a stern voice from the trees, and when he finally appears, Roland's giggly Sorry, Papa is drowned by Regina's own loud gasp.
There he is. Her thief, her soulmate, looking wary, and tired, and real and perfect and hers.
For a moment she just stands there, dumbstruck. Her eyes take him in hungrily, stay glued to his face even as he walks the full length of the town line, then meets Roland in the middle once more.
"Regina?" he calls out, and god, to hear him say her name is one thing, but to see him do it, see the way the word just rolls so delicately off his tongue, how his eyes search frantically for her as he says it again... it ignites all these feelings inside her. Feelings that never left, but that she'd forced to remain dormant while he was gone, for fear it would hurt too much.
But he's back. She's allowed to have them now, allowed to feel happy.
The scroll leaves her hand then, as she throws it just over the town line and watches it bounce and land by Roland's feet. The slight clank alerts Robin to its arrival, and he bends down to retrieve it, hoisting Roland up and perching him on his hip as he rises.
"You're here," he whispers, almost inaudibly, and he looks so relieved, so excited at the prospect of their reunion, that Regina can't help but whisper back I'm here, even knowing he can't hear her yet.
"Are you ready, Roland?" he asks, and his son nods enthusiastically.
"I wanna see Regina!" he says excitedly.
She smiles at the boy, takes a step back, and waits.
It happens in the blink of an eye. One second they're just out of reach and the next Roland is scrambling down from his father's hold and running to her with a loud "REGINA!" that stretches on the A as he barrels himself against her legs.
She looks down at him for a moment, her hand instantly finding his soft curls, and just as she lifts her head to all but sigh an overwhelmed hello to Robin, he's grabbing her face in his hands and crashing their mouths together.
It's a perfect mirror of their last encounter, of the kiss goodbye that has pained her from the second it ended. And now he's here, holding her, rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks like that kiss never stopped, the joy they both feel contrasting the devastation that had overcome them the last time they were here.
There are tears running down her face, her hands moving up to wrap around his wrists and hold him there as the kiss lingers, his lips parting from hers only to press in firmly again and again in a series of desperate pecks that make her choke out a laugh.
"You're here," she gasps tearfully as his forehead rests against hers. And his answer comes with a dimpled smile as he draws her into his arms and buries his nose in her hair, breathing her in and sighing pleasantly.
"I'm home."