Author's Note: A few days later.

Early March: Sunday Evening

Naming The New Tenant

"Spud?"

"No."

"Niblet?"

"No."

"Jellybean?"

"No."

"Peanut."

"Eh . . . no."

Emily's jaw twitched as she looked over at Hotch in irritation . . . that was twelve "NOs" in a row. She looked back at the list in her lap.

"Well, then how about Cletus The Fetus?"

That one made Hotch's head snap up from his laptop.

"Please tell me that you're joking?" He asked warily.

And seeing the glint of fear in his eyes, Emily smirked slightly as she leaned back against the couch.

"Just wanted to see if you were really paying attention." Then she harrumphed before looking back down at her list and adding on with a mumbled, "because it seems like you're just saying no to everything on principle."

They . . . or more specifically, she . . . were trying to decide on a name for their unborn child. Not a birth certificate name, mind you, just something to call he/she while he/she was subletting Emily's uterus. The book had said it was a good way to bond with the baby.

Emily had agreed.

But getting Hotch to agree, well . . . she ran a line through the last four names she'd called out . . . that was something else entirely. Unborn baby names were generally either something goofy, or cutesy. And Hotch wasn't really into "goofy" or "cutesy" anything. Hence the look of abject horror on his face the other night in bed when she'd read this nickname passage of the "Bonding With Your Baby," chapter to him.

It was something akin to telling him that she'd decided to invite Dave over for a threeway.

So after getting him to (reluctantly) agree to at least consider the idea . . . he'd grumbled that they hadn't "pre-named" Jack and yet they'd all bonded just fine . . . she'd told him that she'd come up with a list of names that she was okay with, and then he could just yay or nay. That way he really didn't have to "do" anything, but she'd still get him to participate in the process.

Sorta.

He had said okay to this approach. So this past weekend while he'd been home with Jack, she'd researched all through the books and baby forum sites trying to find a suitable list of options to run by him.

Right now she had thirty-seven on the list of maybes.

Though . . . she shot Hotch a dirty look when she saw that he was still staring at her . . . if he was going to be this disagreeable about ALL of them, then she might as well just pick out the damn name herself!

Hotch tapped his fingers on his keyboard as he looked over at Emily . . . he'd heard a definite tone there in that last mumble about his attitude. Then when she'd looked up and saw him staring at her, he'd gotten a scowl.

And unfortunately the scowl persisted even after her head dropped back down and she began scribbling on her list again.

He stifled a groan.

Great, and now he was in trouble! Damn baby books. Why the hell couldn't those people just mind their own business and stop sharing their ridiculous ideas on procreation with the rest of the world?!

For thousands of years women had been having babies, and somehow they'd all managed to do so without the aid of any "book" telling them that if they didn't call their unborn child Moonbeam or some such nonsense that they were horrible mothers whose children would never love them.

Not that he was philosophically opposed to talking to the baby while in utero . . . well, provided Emily was unconscious and there was nobody else around to hear him do it . . . but really, he didn't see the point in coming up with some "temp name" to tide them over until they knew the sex of the baby and could start picking out real names.

Honestly, he thought the whole idea of a nickname for bonding purposes only, was rather silly.

But . . . he took a breath . . . obviously Emily did not.

So with a slow exhale, he closed out the monthly tactical report Morgan had just emailed him. At the same time, he was mentally reminding himself that this wasn't just his baby, it was their baby. And Emily wanted their baby, to get a nickname. And really, it wasn't going to hurt anything except perhaps his pride, to go along with this one little thing that would make her happy.

So with that thought, he placed his laptop on the coffee table and moved out of the end chair and over to the couch.

Although Emily immediately stopped writing when he relocated, it still took a second before she lifted her head.

He could see from the furrowed brow that she was expecting him to say something that was going to piss her off even further. Well . . . he gave her a little smile . . . think again, sweetheart!

He was going to be enthusiastic and supportive tonight if it frigging KILLED him!

"I'm sorry, Emily," he said softly while reaching over to take her hand, "I wasn't just saying no to those names on principle." His nose wrinkled slightly. "I just really wasn't that keen on any of those options." Then he sighed, "but you do have a point. I'm not being very helpful either, so why don't we just look at the list together and decide that way. It is our baby so we should be choosing something like this as a couple," his brow quirked up, "right?"

Even though he stood firm by his internal assessment on the necessity of this naming project . . . that it was NOT a necessity . . . that didn't mean he should be a schmuck about it. Mostly though, the girlfriend variation on 'Happy Wife, Happy Life,' was the deciding factor here on his external about face.

Emily stared at Hotch for a moment before her lip quirked up.

"Right."

Though she had stopped being annoyed with him as soon as he'd said that he was sorry, by the time he got to the end of his little speech and was saying that it was their baby and they should do this together, well, that was about the point where she was ready to rip his clothes off and do it right there on the couch.

Damn pregnancy hormones.

But it's just that when he was being all sweet and sensitive and adorable, he was COMPLETELY irresistible! However . . . she leaned over to give him a very good, very long, very wet, 'you're forgiven' kiss . . . he was going to have to be resisted for a few minutes longer.

She reluctantly pulled back.

Because God knew how long Sweet, Sensitive, and Adorable Hotch was going to be in the building. So it was best to get this nickname thing straightened out tonight before Slightly Cranky, No Nonsense (Though Still Beloved) Hotch returned from his coffee break.

That guy tended to put a damper on her more ridiculous ideas.

Though . . . a faint smirk settled on her face . . . she could tell from the hands starting to slide under her t-shirt and the lips that had just latched onto her neck, that yet another Hotch . . . Hot, Sexy, Gonna Get Me Some Tonight Hotch . . . had just made an appearance. Emily was VERY fond of that guy! He and Raging Pregnancy Hormones Emily had been having some mighty hot sex as of late.

But for now . . . she swatted away both the hands and the lips . . . that guy was going to have to go join Cranky Hotch at the coffee shop.

They had a baby name to pick out.

Feeling Emily push him back to his own couch cushion, Hotch looked over at her in astonishment.

The woman had just squeezed his dick WHILE she sucked on his tongue, and now HE was getting a red light!

SERIOUSLY?!

Seeing the look she was getting for putting the kybosh on the foreplay, Emily gave Hotch a low level pout in apology.

"I know, honey. And I'm sorry I got you worked up, but I just want to pick out the name first, okay?"

Noting that her apology didn't immediately straighten out the crease in his brow, she snuggled into his side and added on with a purr of, "but then once we're done, we can go upstairs and I'll find something in The Drawer that's black and lacy to reward you for being such a good baby daddy."

Hotch loved The Drawer. And why wouldn't he? It was filled with all manner of silky, sexy, lacy undergarments/nightclothes that she hardly ever had occasion to wear. But since they'd gotten together last month, she'd been quickly working her way through said silky, sexy, lacy, undergarments/nightclothes before she was too fat to fit into them anymore.

That day was fast approaching.

The teddies had definitely started getting VERY snug around the midsection. But fortunately she never had to wear them for longer than it took Hotch to figure out where all of the straps, ribbons, or snaps were. And given that her man had an IQ tipping well into the 130s, that was usually a task which took about ninety seconds.

With his teeth.

Basically Hotch's favorite outfit on her seemed to just be the birthday suit. But lace covered nipples were definitely placing at a close second. And seeing her man's left dimple appear at the thought of her breaking out something black and lacy as a reward for helping with this little project that she knew he thought was a bit ridiculous . . . hence her trying to push off Cranky Hotch's appearance . . . she knew that they had a solid set of plans for the rest of the evening.

"Okay then," Hotch slipped his arm around Emily's shoulders as his eyes dropped down to her notepad, "let's see what we've got."

A black lace based reward system. Never let it be said that Emily didn't know how to properly motivate! Though . . . Hotch's brow furrowed as he began looking over the rest of the names on her list . . . if this was all he had to choose from, then he might not be getting anything tonight but a cold shoulder.

"Bob?"

What the hell?!

Emily shrugged, "it's an acronym for Baby On Board. It was in the book, but," she swiped her pen across it, "I'm sensing from your tone that's a no go." She pointed. "What about this one?"

"Muggle? I don't even know what a Muggle is, Emily," Hotch's brow wrinkled as he thought back, "is it some kind of Muppet?"

"No," Emily huffed slightly as she shook her head, "not a Muppet. It's this thing from the Harry Potter books. It's the non-witch humans. And you know right now the baby's half human, half amorphous blob so I thought it was kind of cute. But," she rolled her eyes at the look of horror on Hotch's face, "I can see that you don't agree."

"Witches?" Hotch asked incredulously, "you wanted to name our unborn child after something with witches?"

God, he was really going to have to research the names she put on the birth certificate list! She might end up naming their kid after a DEMON or something!

"MOVING ON," Emily responded loudly. "Okay," she tucked her hair back behind her ear, "how about Bunny?"

"Kind of effeminate."

"For you, or it?"

Hearing the mockery in Emily's tone, Hotch choose to take the high ground.

"Moving on."

Then he pointed to the middle of the page, "that one has to go. It's undignified."

Emily's brow wrinkled as she stared at the offending sequence of letters.

"Undignified?" She huffed, "what's wrong with it?"

Yes, there was a bit of defensiveness in her tone there but geez, undignified?! You'd think she'd suggested they name the baby Cowflap!

"Emily," Hotch shook his head defiantly, "I'm not calling my child Bump. A bump is something that you drive over on the street. It is NOT something you name a human being."

Making a point to then ignore the slightly petulant pout on his girlfriend's face, Hotch continued to look over his options. Finally he saw two that caught his attention.

His brow rose slightly in interest.

"I'm not completely opposed to number fifteen, or number twenty-one."

Emily looked to the two items and made a big star next to each of them.

Fifteen was "Little One" and twenty-one was straight old capital B "Baby." Previous 'undignified' insult forgotten, her eyes crinkled slightly as she turned to kiss Hotch's cheek.

Finally, he was getting into the spirit of it! And never let it be said that her man didn't enjoy the classics. And although she could live with either of those choices, she had kind of been hoping to come up with something with a bit more character. Not that they were going to be using this name out in the real world, but still, it was the first name their baby was ever going to have.

It should be special.

She was watching Hotch's finger trail down the names on the lower part of the legal pad when suddenly he brushed over one in particular . . . and she had it.

"That's it!" She exclaimed, "Hotchkin!"

"What?" Hotch stopped to look over at Emily in confusion, "what did you just call me?"

"No, not you, the baby!" Emily responded excitedly. "Hotchkin! I was just looking at Munchkin and it came to me! It's perfect," she grinned at him as she patted her belly, "the baby's my Hotch munchkin, so we should call it Hotchkin!"

How had she not thought of that before?! Well, probably because she was just looking at all the lists in the books and on the forums of what everybody else called their baby. She should have stopped and thought what would best fit her own baby.

Its daddy.

Hotch's lips started to twitch at the phrase Hotch Munchkin, and then his eyes fell away from Emily's and dropped down to the coffee table . . . Hotchkin. Though he wouldn't (couldn't) admit it aloud, that was kind of cute. But not so cute that he'd have to hand over his testicles every time he used it.

Basically, he could live with it.

"Okay," he looked up at her and nodded, "Hotchkin it is."

"YAY!" Emily grinned right before she leaned forward to smack a wet, sloppy, kiss on Hotch's cheek.

He started to laugh.

"So I guess you're happy now?!"

Even though he was a little frightened to admit it, making Emily happy was fast becoming his primary avocation. Not that making Emily happy wasn't an utterly laudable pursuit . . . he smiled as she nodded her head and snuggled into his side . . . because it was absolutely a pursuit of the highest order! No, the scary part was what it actually meant beyond the obvious.

That he was falling in love.

Of course that was the end game here, falling in love, getting married, moving in together and having their perfect, beautiful, absolutely brilliant because it took after its mother, baby Hotchkin. Or maybe Hotchkina.

He had a hunch it was a girl.

Regardless, he was happy, and hopeful, about all of those events happening in whatever order they were fated to do so. But he just knew that once that first domino fell, all the rest of them would quickly follow. And even if this is what he was working towards, it was still a little scary. Because once the dominos fell, it would all be official. Again.

Happy Family . . . Take Two.

Still though . . . he tucked Emily under his chin . . . he couldn't let the back of his brain concerns about losing a second wife and child affect his current mood. Because right now he and Emily were doing well with the working things out, and making all of their decisions together, steps. So "Happy Family, Take Two" seemed like a very maintainable dream. He just had to keep his eyes on the prize.

Emily plus Jack plus new baby . . . correction, Hotchkin . . . equaled, Family.

Emily sighed against Hotch's chest . . . Hotchkin. Perfect. Now, as she reached over and picked up her notepad off the table again, she knew it was time to move on to her second list.

The one she'd started compiling when she'd gotten bored yesterday.

Seeing Emily flip over to the next page in her notepad, Hotch's brow wrinkled.

"What's that?"

She held it up in front of him and he started reading to himself.

. . . Magilla the Gorilla

. . . Baron Von Tallywhacker

. . . Kong

What the hell?! And then he looked at the list again and his eyes popped out.

"No." He sputtered. And Emily immediately cut back with a whiney, "but Hotch!" and he pushed himself up.

"No, Emily," he scowled down at her, "absolutely not! You are NOT going to give my penis a nickname!"

Then he walked out of the living room in a huff and two seconds later she heard him slam the bathroom door.

Emily grinned as she yelled over her shoulder.

"SPOIL SPORT!"

A/N 2: The baby name options. If you read Mirror then you know that the baby is "Baby" in that world. But that's a different Emily who went with that nickname for reasons specific to that world. But Girl Emily, especially paired off with Hotch already, she's going to approach the nickname with a different mindset. She's going to want something that works for both of them. And you just can't ask somebody like Hotch to call your unborn child "Oogy." That would just be, no. And those names she was throwing out, those are all real options, most of which I got from a baby thread. Even Cletus the Fetus which is seriously the most awesome name ever! I got Bunny and Bump from my OG kickass beta, Arc, and I also got her golden seal of approval when I finally picked Hotchkin as number one.

And in case you're wondering, though Emily does jokingly refer to Hotch's penis as "Kong" over in a couple chapters of Girl proper, in no part of the Girl'verse does his penis have an actual nickname! So, Hotch will get his way on this point. Besides, you know Emily was really just looking for a new way to torture him :)