-Chapter 7: The Plan Went According To Plan... But Not For Tamaki-

I sighed a bit as my teacher was droning in and in about my poor grades in Calculus and Physics. I rubbed my eyes a bit and mentally 'tsked' at feeling my face, empty of glasses which I haven't found yet, thank you for noticing. Lately, I've been a bit off since I've had to borrow notes from Haruhi, and then stay up late studying yet squinting at the subjects that cause me to fall asleep easily. That, plus a lack of sleep with a horrible sleeping schedule, and I'm FINE. JUST FUCKING FINE.

The teacher finally dismissed me and I ran out the door, swinging my feet over the railing and jumping a few feet down to the second floor of the building.

Bursting into the club room, I ran face first into someone's chest. I stopped, face still buried in the person's chest. Not pulling my face away from them, I reached up, trying to feel their face to identify them like a blind person. Feeling glasses, I immediately jumped back with a blush on my face, seeing a smirk on the brunet's face as he walked off.

"So," one twin asked. "Why are you late?" said the other. I think the first one was Hikaru. I dragged my hand down my face.
"Sorry you guys. I was getting scolded by that stupid teacher. Again. Apparently I didn't do too hot in the last quiz and now I have to find a tutor. Or else I'll be kicked out."
"Well you should hurry up and change," they said at the same time.
"We're gonna be hosting in the gardens today. And you get to wear a kimono!" They shoved me into a changing room, without giving me time to register what was happening. As I stumbled to a stop in the small room, I realized there was a small problem. I had no idea how to change into this so-called "kimono". Picking up the fabric, I cocked my head to the side before placing it back down. I poked my head out to ask Haruhi to help. Unfortunately, no one else was done but the twins. My stomach dropped, realizing the situation I was putting myself in.

Plucking up the courage, I asked, "Hey you guys. Do you think you can help me out my kimono on?" They turned towards the sound of my voice simultaneously and grinned devilish grins, knowing what I was implying. I fidgeted with the curtain that was blocking everything but my face and they made their way over. Like a predator stalking its prey.
"Tsk tsk Sasaki. We thought you would know how to put it on on your own!" said the twin who I think was Kaoru. They grabbed the curtain and pulled it open, expecting to see me in my undergarments. Luckily, I had covered myself with the main part of the kimono. It seemed like the first part since it was on the top of the pile. I smirked at them, when their devilish smiles fell a bit. They helped me tie on the rest of it, touching me more than I would've liked. It was tight around my waist and they stood back, admiring their work.

"Kaoru," Hikaru started.
"You're right. Something's missing." replied Kaoru. He pulled out a golden clip from what seemed to be thin air and forced me into the bench in the changing stall and began playing with my hair, twisting it this way and that. Hikaru pulled out something pink in a circular little container. I squished my eyes shut as applied it to my cheeks and nose. They stepped back again, simultaneously and leaned against each other.
"There! Now you're ready!" they said, grinning at me. There were no mirrors in the club room so I had no idea what I looked like. I rolled my eyes. They better not have made me look like a clown.

The three of us came out of the changing room and saw the rest of the club ready to head outside. Tamaki was aghast when he saw me come out with the twins and immediately pulled me away from them, crushing me a bit in his grasp.
"MY DARLING DAUGHTER WAS DOING SOMETHING TERRIBLE WITH THOSE SHADY TWINS!" He started crying and shooting fire out of his mouth like Godzilla.
"Lay off, Senpai. They were only helping me out with this... kimono." I shrugged out of his grasp and tripped a bit on the kimono. It dragged a bit on the floor, and the socks made my feet slip around in the wooden sandals. I stumbled a bit, then managed to step on the kimono. Falling, I braced for impact. I hope the ground will forgive me. Instead, I felt a pair of arms and a chest underneath me. They were long and lanky. My eyes widened, staring at arms. Slowly looking up, I saw a pair of glasses with coal-gray eyes staring back down with a smirk on his face. I opened my mouth a bit, then closed it. I can't believe I fell into his arms! Its sounded so cheesy.

Jumping back with a tiny squeak, I bowed, apologizing.
"You should really be more careful, Sasaki-chan. I can't always be there to catch you, you know," he said, pushing up his glasses. The glare on his glasses appeared and his charcoal eyes disappear again. Slapping my face, I tried to fix my glasses but my hand came away empty again. I thought for a moment. He smirked again at my reaction and I shot back, "Wait a minute! When did you catch me? This is the first time! Right...?"
"Is it?" he replied and wandered off towards the garden. I muttered a few curses under my breath.
"Kist, krayle en kote," was a strong one. Something my mom would mutter when she got frustrated.

Clopping towards the garden, I tried thinking of when the raven-haired boy would have caught me tripping. Sure, I was pretty clumsy. Especially around others. But never on the fencing strip. I had been keeping it up for a while and even started to meet people there that would come often. There was one girl in particular that I'd gotten really close to. She called herself "D" short for Dopamine.

I almost walked face first into the gates of the gardens we were hosting in. Stopping myself before smacking my nose into the brick wall, I paused and pulled the door open. Cherry blossoms began flooding towards me. Waving them out of my face, I was attacked by Honey-senpai, exclaiming, "Waah! Sasa-chan looks so cute in that kimono!" He was also wearing a kimono and looked really adorable in it. He climbed onto my back and I carried him around as we walked towards the others. Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and the megane were all in Western outfits that made them look like waiters. Haruhi, Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai, and I were all in kimono. I placed myself behind Haruhi and Honey, fidgeting a bit. Just as we all began to smile, the doors to the garden opened again, cherry blossoms swirling around the incoming guests.
"Welcome!" we said. I smiled a wide, fake smile.

I sighed, nerves making me twitch and shift as Haruhi and I cleaned up the club. The fact the physical exams were the day after tomorrow was the biggest thing on my mind. I flopped onto a couch, having changed out of the costume and back into uniform but without a tie. I closed my eyes for a second, relishing the peace and quiet as everyone else was changing. Obviously, everyone in the school thinks I'm a girl so I'd be getting privacy while changing, but the records show I'm a boy. Fixing that problem was... complicated? What did you even do in a physical exam? Would it be like those paper ones we got during the normal school day?

Suddenly, I felt something cold and metallic slide onto my face. On reflex, I slapped it away. I jumped away from the couch and heard the object skid across the polished floor.
"Do you not want your glasses?" the megane asked. "You had left them here a few days ago so I figured you would want them back. You should also clean them more often." He raised his eyebrow slightly. My eyes widened, realizing what I had done and bowed in apology.
"Sorry, Senpai! I didn't realize it was you!" I bowed super low, hair falling in my face. For what felt like a long time it was silent. He must be calculating what to do and how he can use me. Bastard. Then, a finger was placed under my chin. He tilted my face up to his. A smirk plastered on his face. He was so close. He took my hand and placed the glasses in them, curling my hand around it. I put them on, glad to feel the comfortable weight on my face again. My face felt hot.
"It's alright. Come. The meeting is going to start." I followed him to the table that the other members were gathering by.

We all gathered to where Tamaki was, having a great daydream about being in "love-love" with Haruhi. He sighed dreamily, "This is all part of my strategy. While you've wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I've foreseen the outcome of this charade! This anime is obviously a romantic school comedy! Haruhi and I are the main characters. So that means we're love interests!"
"Yeah, then what are we?" the twins asked simultaneously.
"YOU boys, are the homosexual supporting cast!" Tamaki declared, pointing a finger at us. I mentally shrugged, not really minding having my sexual preference revealed. He drew a line into the pink floor between him and the rest of us.
"So please make sure you don't step across this line!" he said, smiling. The Hikaru and Kaoru looked irked and I chuckled a bit at their reaction. I'm pretty positive I was the only homosexual there. Even though the twins pulled their stunts, it all seemed to be fake. Then again, I've never really judged someone- always thought for myself. I didn't care for anyone else or who they were as a person.

"If word gets out that Haru-chan is really a girl, then she won't be able to be in the Host Club anymore!" Honey worried. I took a step back as Tamaki seemed to turn completely white. It scared me a bit at how quickly his mood could rise and plummet.
Honey-senpai reasoned, "But, if Haru-chan started wearing girls clothes, I'd bet she'd be even cuter than she is now!" He was right. She was pretty darn cute. If I wasn't gay, I'd probably steal her away from the hosts.
Hikaru added, "She dressed like a girl in middle school, right? She must have been pretty popular with all the boys."
"Indeed," K-boy replied. "According to my investigative report, someone would declare their undying love to her at least once a month." I did a slow whistle at that.
"Oh, I see," replied Kaoru. "So the boss wouldn't even be able to get close to her!"
"But we'd be able to because we're in class together all day long!" Hikaru smirked. At that remark, Tamaki's stone-still body twitched a bit.

Haruhi walked into the room, apologizing for being late. The rest of the hosts began devising a plan to make sure Haruhi's gender remained a secret and I leaned on her shoulder, smirking a bit at the nonsense the twins and Tamaki were planning. Knowing the club, I'm sure our smarty-pants vice president had something up his sleeve after being called the 'homosexual supporting cast'. I smiled down at her, sighing.
"How much money do you still owe anyways? You're definitely gonna get out of here faster than I am." I said dryly. She thought for a moment.
"I think I'll never get out of here." At the thought of being enslaved to the club forever, I sweat-dropped.
"ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU HATE BEING A HOST? THAT YOU HATE THIS CLUB?" demanded Tamaki. She immediately responded back.
"To be honest I'd have to say yes." I nodded in agreement. Tamaki immediately retreated to his infamous corner of woe. But to motivate the food-driven Haruhi, Mori-senpai simply said one word.
"Fancy tuna." The twins put on devilish grins. They began picking on the girl, blackmailing her to stay in the club. I remember eating some of the fish that one guest had popped into my mouth. I don't think I could ever go back to any other kind of fish. I had even mixed it with chocolate, and it was still amazing.

I got up, stretching a bit. Tapping K-boy on the shoulder, I smiled in a sickly sweet manner.
"If I could, Senpai, may I be excused to head home? Seems as though I'm not necessary to the plan and I would rather stay out of the whole silly charade."
He gave the exact same smile back and replied, "But you are needed for this operation. Silly or not," and turned back to the rest of the group, signaling that this was not up for debate.

-Oh joy it's a time skip-

"We will begin conducting physical exams shortly. All students please proceed to the clinic in your respective school building." Sighing I got up from my desk and filed down the hall next to Haruhi. I was glad to be out of class. It was a nightmare for me. I just couldn't seem to wrap my head around the numbers. I had tried being tutored by Haruhi, but the way she explained it didn't make much sense. But being the liar that I was, I would just smile and nod, pretending to understand. My grades were showing otherwise. I needed to find a different tutor. Fast.

As we walked through the halls, students from other classrooms mingling with one another. I had never taken a physical exam before in my life. There were only a few signs that you weren't healthy in my past life. The hunger hurt when you didn't have enough food. If you were cut, you bled and should stitch it up with alcohol. Stuff like that. It was just a natural thing. You got hurt, you bandage yourself up. Until those last few years.

I let out a little shiver and my scars seemed to ache from the memories. I stared as students amassed towards a room I hadn't noticed before. I turned around, then back again. Someone was staring at me. In fact, a few someones. I closed my eyes a moment, focusing. They weren't just staring, they were glaring. I opened my eyes again as we walked into a room that was filled with doctors and nurses. Haters gonna hate. Somewhere in the background, I heard classical music playing as the doctors welcomed us into the room. Haruhi and I turned white, bodies having gone into the shock at the scene before us.
"Just another physical exam." Hikaru said.
"The usual." added Kaoru.
No way in hell was this normal.

Looking around, I saw that students were being led to rooms and a nurse came up to me, smiling. I made eye contact a bit and pushed up my glasses again.
"Mr. Junzo? I'm your nurse this afternoon. Please, follow me." She looked a little confused but brushed it off as I followed her to a changing room. She grabbed a clipboard and kept looking back and forth between me and whatever was on it.
"Hmm, let's see. There's not much information on you, so we'll do the entire process! Please change out of your uniform behind those curtains." I silently nodded and moved behind the screen. I smirked, knowing why she was a bit confused. I took off all my clothing and then slipped the fake chest off next. It felt good to breathe without it on. The thing was constricting.

I walked out from behind the screen in nothing but my boxers and the nurse jumped to see my physique, a bit confused. I told her, "I'm sorry this is so confusing for you. The papers are all correct. However, everyone who sees me for the first time thinks I'm a girl. We can still do the exams though!" I explained. She visibly calmed down a bit and sent me a small smile back.
"All right, then. Let's get your height and weight first..." and it proceeded from there. She put me on what was called a "scale" and measured my height and did stuff that really isn't important. She was quick and efficient.

Afterwards, I went back behind the screen to put on my uniform again. However, my uniform was nowhere to be found. In its place, was a nurse's outfit. I chuckled to myself. Letting out a sigh, I put on the nurse costume and headed out to find the others. I stuffed my hand into a the costume pocket and felt something hairy inside.

Pulling out a brown wig, I stared at the thing in my hand. Right, I thought. As Tamaki passed by me, I latched onto his arm. He was dramatically yanked backward, startled by the obvious costume I was wearing.
I shoved the wig in his hands and whispered, "You know what to do." I gave him a devilish grin, imitating the twins. His eyes widened with realization and ran off in a different direction. Finding Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai, I stood next to them and saw K-boy start talking to Haruhi. Honey and I snickered, evil smiles on our faces. Mori remained as stoic as ever at the silliness of the situation.
Haruhi saw the three of us and sweat-dropped a bit saying, "You're so obvious."
"I've got those three for backup just in case something happens," the brunet countered.
"But why are they in doctor disguises?" Haruhi questioned.
"They're just helping to set the mood. Disguises make our operation feel like a real espionage mission." I smiled a bit at that, thinking of how silly this whole mission was just to get back at Tamaki.

I noticed the twins were surrounded by a large number of girls waiting to see them get undressed. I couldn't hear what the red-haired boys were saying, but they began taking off their shirts and...damn. My face flushed a bit, and I shook my head to clear those impure thoughts. Screams and squeals were heard from the mass of girls as they waved handkerchiefs and bloody noses started pouring out. To make things even steamier, the two boys started up one of their "Brotherly Love" acts as the girls screamed even more. Luckily, before I also began to get a nose bleed, Honey tugged on my shirt and nodded at me. It was time.

I nodded once, curtly. Pulling out a megaphone from nowhere, Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai proceeded to push Haruhi into the same changing room that Tamaki had gone into a few minutes ago.
Turning on the megaphone I began, "LADIES, PLEASE FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO SEE HARUHI FUJIOKA'S BARE CHEST. THAT'S RIGHT! FOR THIS ONE SWEET MOMENT, YOU CAN SEE FUJIOKA'S SUPPLE BODY!" Girls began following me as I herded them towards a changing room. K-boy raised an eyebrow at what I had shouted and I just shrugged my hands, megaphone in hand. You could cut the suspense in the room with a cleaver as the girls all waited to see Haruhi half naked. Anticipation in all of them. I smiled.

"Yes. I'm Haruhi Fujioka." Tamaki-senpai opened the curtain, revealing himself to be wearing a brown wig for all the girls to see. There was a moment of silence as the girls took in the situation.
"Wait, that's Tamaki!" one girl cried.
"There's no denying it. That's definitely Tamaki!" another accused.
"Is he cosplaying as Haruhi? What's going on? Is he trying to be funny?" These kinds of accusations and questions rose up from the crowd of girls and I started snickering when Tamaki realized that the plan wasn't going according to what we had told him. The twins, still half-naked, began laughing their eyes out and crying from the laughter.
"I can't believe he actually did it!" wheezed Hikaru.
"They recognized him! I told you they'd see through it!" cried Kaoru. I've never heard them laugh as hard nor as much as they did now.
Tamaki groaned at what was happening and shook one of the twins by their shoulders shouting, "YOU JERKS! You said there was no way the girls would be able to tell it was me!"
Still grinning an impish grin, the twin replied, "It's payback for calling us the homosexual supporting cast." Laughter bubbled up my chest and burst. I began laughing and grinning at the display in front of me. Resting my hand on someone's shoulder, I turned to see the vice president looking back at me, smiling. I shot him a genuine smile and fixed my glasses. My hand fell off of his shoulder as he walked away off to tell Haruhi the real plan. That he had a room fixed for her and a doctor on standby who was sworn to secrecy.

The other hosts gathered in front of her changing room and told her that K-boy's doctors were all here today instead of random ones or something like that. Hikaru jumped in, saying "It turns out the doctors here today are all on staff at one of Senpai's family hospitals."
"Would have been nice if he had said something to us earlier," added Kaoru.
"I had to get my revenge too," the megane added. "I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm supporting cast. Homosexual or otherwise." I squinted my eyes at that. God, why is he so hard to understand sometimes? I peered back outside to see Tamaki fading to dust from the embarrassment.

I sidled next to the raven-haired boy, plucking up to ask him for his name again.
"Uhm, senpai. I've noticed-"
"I'm telling the truth!" a girl cried. We all turned at that and saw a few people huddling around a frightened student.
"He ran off towards the special boys clinic." The hosts dramatically all turned pale. Haruhi had use of the special boys clinic. Suddenly, I was dragged off towards the clinic with the boys. She'd be fine, I don't know what they were worrying about. They dashed towards the room, ready to hurt anyone who hurt our friend! Mori barged into the room and I simply sidled after the rest of them. I had grabbed Haruhi out of harm's way from-
"Tama-chaaaaan, KICK!" Tamaki flew through the air and planted a kick square in the man's face, knocking him to the ground. I stared at Tamaki, a bit surprised.
"One: good looks that attest the public eye," the twins chorused.
"Two: more wealth than you can imagine," added the serious megane.
Mori started, "Three: chivalry that will never be able to overlook"
"-this hideous wickedness of this world." Honey finished.
"Four: bringing kindness to all those who return it," I added, yawning.
Haruhi just stared at the whole scene as Tamaki draped his shirt over her head.
The blond proclaimed, "That's what makes up the Ouran Host Club!"
We posed, crying "We're here! Watch out!" I smiled a bit at how dramatic and unnecessary it was. The doctor meant no harm. He seemed like a good man, but just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I silently slipped away from the club, knowing I wasn't going to be needed and headed back to our classroom.