Here we go. I go through the door with a deep breath, feeling Esme's gentle hand on my back. Leaving that room for the first time makes me anxious… very anxious. We walk down the long corridor, and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears a hundred miles an hour.

Many windows lined up on the walls, one after another, let a pale light enter the corridor as we walked by. On the right, a few doors also line up like hotel rooms. This must be the guest area. The windows have a blue hue like those in the bedroom, making the light more soft and cold looking.

We reach the middle of the corridor, where a giant staircase leads to the entrance hall. Alice and Esme walk downstairs like any other day, but I feel consumed by the impulse to run right back to the room. Only the gentle touch of Esme's hand keeps me going step-by-step until we reach the hall. My heart is still beating loudly, and I'm afraid I'll end up giving myself a heart attack if I don't learn to calm down. I can't remember how many times my heart almost blew off my chest in the last few hours.

The hall is beautiful like a cut out from a decoration magazine, only better. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling reflects the light on the glass vase on a pedestal by the end of the staircase. I grip my hands firmly on the handrail while Alice touches my hair, trying to fix it and look around like I've never seen a house before. Esme walks past me to my right, and I follow her with my eyes, watching her enter a living room and go straight to Carlisle's side.

The room has a big white sofa with a glass table in front of it. The window is covered by white curtains that reflect the same blue hue of all the windows there. What was that called again? I try to remember where I've seen that before, but I fail to recall precisely what the technology is called.

Carlisle puts his arms around Esme's shoulders and smiles at her completing the perfect scene before me. On their right side, a large, disturbingly original-looking piano breaks the white in the room with its dark walnut color. The sight of it is so amazing that I feel that, if I look inside of it, it'll have bass strings and tiny pins inside, making the sound. Like they could have a real wooden piano.

—All ready! Alice's voice distracts me, and I look back at her. She's about to pass by me but stops turning around suddenly. —Jasper…

She walks over to a man standing on the other side of the staircase. He is tall and blond with a serious look on his face. When he looks at me, I can feel a coldness coming from him, something different from the one I felt from Carlisle. Dr. Cullen's apathy felt more like a professional distance, but his appears… intentional. Like he has no intentions to be more than cordial to me. Alice stands by him, observing his face as he looks at me, like trying to read his thoughts.

I avoid his gaze and look back at Esme, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

—Sorry to keep you waiting, Dr. Cullen. He and Esme take a few steps towards me.

—Don't worry. He answers, smiling and reaching his arm to Jasper.

—This is Jasper. He says. —I haven't officially introduced my family yet, but it is as you see. Esme and I are married, and Alice and Jasper are our children. We have five, but one is out of the country, and the other two you might meet tonight if everything goes as planned.

I wondered what kind of kinship they had, but I'm a bit surprised they are a family. Alice and Jasper don't look over twenty years old, and Esme and Carlisle look pretty young too. So, unless they had children unbelievably early, Alice and Jasper are adopted. I guess that would explain the lack of similarities between them, aside from the eyes.

I don't want to meet eyes with Jasper again, so I just politely nod my head at him and say a few words trying to be courteous.

—It's a pleasure to meet you.

—Equally. I hope you're feeling better this morning.

—I am. Thank you.

Japer is as dry as I am, making me hear the coldness in my voice. I realize why his eyes make me uncomfortable. It is because they must look like mine when I talk. I thought I was being polite, but now I think I might have sounded distant. I make a mental note to smile more or put more expressions on my face from time to time, at least. He's looking at Esme now, his eyes are severe, but Esme avoids his gaze and comes closer to me, touching my waist.

—We should go. She says, pushing me to the front door as Alice takes a long coat and helps me put it on. The nanotech is good but won't stop my clothes from getting wet from the rain. I quickly put on boots, still wondering what that… well… interaction between Esme and Jasper was.

Carlisle opens the front door first, and the cold wind makes me shiver a bit even under all these layers. I remember this wind.

The house has a big garden, and it is difficult to tell where it stops and where the forest starts. A cute gazebo and a bench are placed in front of the living room window to give a sophisticated look to the garden. I can picture Esme and Carlisle sitting there under the sun, sipping tea and talking like a couple from a novel. Maybe this garden is full of colorful flowers in spring, and the whole family just hangs outside enjoying the rare sunny days.

I let my eyes go beyond the garden and into the forest. The fog is still dancing low over the grass, making the scene mysterious and beautiful, very different from the nightmare-like place I imagine in my head every time I remember it.

I get on the backseat of the car with Esme right beside me. Alice sits in the passenger seat, and Carlisle takes the wheel. We drive through a dirt road inside the forest for a few minutes with the tall trees passing by us. Alice starts talking about the forest, maybe to distract me or entertain herself; either way, I appreciate the conversation. It's much better than the silence.

—You know, our family has been living here for generations. When the government wanted to close the forest as a protected area due to the warming problem, we still got to stay thanks to the years of contributions to this city. We reach the edge of the forest and enter a highway. I notice Carlisle is still using manual control and get a little concerned. He drives around the cars perfectly spaced from each other as he gets a few dirty looks. It's not prohibited to drive on manual mode but highly discouraged. Nobody does it anymore.

He drives fast, and I can see the skyscrapers coming up on the horizon like they are growing right out from the pavement.

You're in Forks, Washington. I can hear Esme's voice in my head telling me where I am.

We reach the city in no time, and traffic gets heavier and heavier the more we get to the center. Carlisle drives outside the main road and goes around little back alleys until we reach an empty street. We move toward three buildings, one on the side of the other like domino pieces with the words 'Forks General Hospital' projected over the windows in an endless loop.

A few people wear white coats, and others wear light blue uniforms—nurses and doctors mixed with patients hurry inside the building, running from the rain. Carlisle parks the car by the front entrance, and three men open the doors for all of us to leave the vehicle. One of them reaches his hand out to me, and I take it as I get off and walk right away to Esme's side. My mind is anxious, and I try to stay calm as an alarm sounds inside me. I can't believe I let them convince me to come here.

A woman walks up to Dr. Cullen with a smile on her face. —We weren't expecting you today, Dr. Cullen. Anything the matter?

—No, Susan. I brought a guest for some routine exams. Carlisle points at me as he speaks. The woman raises an eyebrow looking at me, basically hiding behind Esme like a five-year-old.

—A guest? She says, a little confused.

—Exactly. Make sure you treat her like one. Carlisle's voice is calm as ever, and his smile moderate.

—Absolutely. She answers.

—This way, please. Susan guides us to the reception. My heart is still beating loudly in my chest, spreading tension throughout my body. Esme seems to feel my nervousness and puts her hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

—Stay calm. It'll be all right. It's nothing, just a few exams. I concentrate on the touch of her fingers, taking a deep breath. It's working… kind of. Maybe I should fake a smile, but I better concentrate on not puking.

—I need to take care of a few things before we start the exams. I'll meet you guys here in a few minutes. Carlisle walks away from us, with Susan on his side.

—They'll probably do a CAT scan and bloodwork. After you're finished, we'll take you to our favorite restaurant. Alice smiles, trying to cheer me up like Esme. I nod my head, trying to look as calm as possible, but no smile yet.

The sea of doctors and patients walk around us, looking busy and not even noticing our presence. We walk up to the reception desk, but I stay behind with Esme. Alice walks up to the woman by herself.

I knew I was going to freak out when I got here. Even if I don't have any memories of hospitals, my body seems to remember some sort of trauma connected to them. Seeing Alice talking with the reception lady brings me back to her questions before we left the room. Why did you say you don't have an ID? She asked. I still have no idea. I just felt entirely sure that I didn't have an ID anywhere. Maybe that's why I didn't want to be here. Not a trauma, but I was afraid of people making questions. I am scared to be taken away by strangers that I know won't be half as gentle as Esme. Taken by people that will look at me with fear when they realize they can't ID me. It'll be all right. Carlisle said he would take care of it. I breathe in and out three times. I can see Esme looking at me from the corner of my eye, so I try to act a little more normal, less… guilty.

Alice comes back with three visitor passes on her hands.

—Carlisle told them about us, so it was easy to get them. Here. She says, giving a card to me. —Put it on the left side of your chest. When we go by the doors, they should open right away.

Alice smiles and waives to some point behind us. Esme and I turn around and see Carlisle walking over to us in his white hospital gown.

—Great, you got the cards. He says, smiling.

—Without any problem, Dr. Cullen. Esme says, smiling back at him.

—Let's go then. We got much work to do. We follow Carlisle through the glass doors that separate the reception from the patient's wing. Carlisle says hi to a few doctors that pass by us until we reach a more peaceful part of the hospital and stop in front of a room door where two nurses dressed in light blue uniforms are waiting. Carlisle gives them a digital notepad.

—She'll do all the exams listed there. She's a bit nervous about it, so be patient with her, all right? Carlisle turns around and blinks at me.

—No problem Dr. Cullen. Both the nurses say together in a very high voice. They have exaggerated smiles on their faces that make me a bit uncomfortable.

I'm sure he thinks he did me a big favor, but now I just look like a big baby who's afraid of needles. I breathe in one more time.

—Don't be nervous. We'll be waiting for you. Esme smiles brightly at me, but I can see the worry in her eyes. It must be my face. I must look like I'll be sent to my death.

—Looks like she'll go in for surgery or something… Alice smiles at my worried face —She'll just do some exams Es… Ahm… Mom.

Alice is right. The worst had passed, I guess. I was never afraid of the exams or pain and needles, but of being dragged away for not having an ID, but I think Carlisle really took care of it. If no one came for me at this point, I must be safe.

—I'll be fine. I'll see you guys later. I put on a brave face and made my voice as stable as possible.

—That's the spirit! Carlisle smiles. —Take good care of her. Carlisle smiles one more time at the nurses, and I walk inside the room.

I put on one of those hospital robes and walked around, trying to answer the doctors' questions the best I could. I didn't see Carlisle once. I thought he would do the exams, but he's probably busy with his patients. Most of the exams were easy like he said. The bloodwork was… interesting. I observed the nurse preparing the small metal disk and disinfecting the blood tubes. He connects one of the tubes to the back of the disk and cleans up my arm, getting ready to stick it to my most prominent vein. When he's about to touch my skin when I push his hand away by reflex, dropping everything on the table.

—We're nervous today, huh? He says, smiling. I apologized many times and helped him collect the instruments and put them back into place.

This time he asks if I'm ready before putting the needles in. I say yes, and let him put the disk on my skin. The tiny needles tickle my skin as the blood goes into the tube. After taking what he needs, he puts some ointment on the minimal needle marks and tells me it's over.

I follow the two nurses back to my room, and as soon as we get inside, I go straight to the changing room. When I open the door to leave, I meet eyes with Esme. I can feel my body calming down, and I walk towards her. Alice and Carlisle are there too.

—How was it? Did it hurt? Esme asks, touching my shoulder.

I shake my head no. —It was okay. Her eyes are gentle and warm. Looking at her now, I realize how much I missed her in the last few hours.

—That's good. She says.

—You're exams look good as well. Carlisle says. —We're still missing a few results, but so far, all looks good. I look at his smile and can tell what he means. He probably doesn't want to say in front of the nurses, but I know he means we might be able to find out why I lost my memory.

—Well, I have some things to take care of. I'll see you guys tonight. Carlisle kisses Esme on the cheek and leaves the room, followed by the two nurses.

Now that it is over, I'm starving. The walk around the hospital was long and tiring, and I hadn't eaten anything yet. Actually, the only thing I touched from the breakfast tray Esme brought me was that glass of water.

—You must be hungry. Alice says.

—I'm sure she is. Let's go. Esme and I follow Alice to the elevator and go straight up to the entrance.

The same men from this morning are waiting for us with the car ready. Alice takes the wheel this time, and Esme sits next to me on the back.

—What about Dr. Cullen? I ask, wondering how he'll get home without a car. Somehow I can't imagine him getting into a taxi and going all the way to the house.

—Don't worry. Rosalie and Emmett will pick him up. Alice says, fixing her hair.

Emmett and Rosalie. My mind tries to put the pieces together after hearing their names. The Cullens have five children. I've met Alice and Jasper, so Rosalie and Emmett might be the other siblings. Or maybe they share a different type of bond. The thoughts in my head are strangely analytical to me. I don't need to know how they are related; I'll figure it out sooner than later anyway. What I really should be worried about is what'll happen when we return to the house. I know Esme said she'd help me, but I wonder how much I can depend on her like this.

—I know the best restaurant in town. Alice is just like Carlisle and drives on manual mode to a tall glass-covered building that looks like it goes beyond the gray sky above us.

Alice gives the car to a valet in front of the building entrance. After we got out of the car, a woman walked up to us, smiling and looking excited.

—Welcome, Ms. Cullen. The usual table?

—Thank you, Ana. Alice says. We follow Ana to the elevator up to the 20th floor, and when the door opens, I can hear the smooth jazz song coming from the restaurant in front of us. Busy waiters and waitresses walk between the tables with small oval robots following them as they carry trays and cups to the tables full of people laughing and enjoying their food.

The "usual table" Ana talked about is a private space in front of a big window. When we sit down is like we're floating in the sky.

A very kind waiter approaches us with his robot on his heels, bringing glasses of water to each of us. He smiles as he tells us the specials for today, giving each of us a menu. Esme takes the menu from my hands before I can look at it.

—I'll order for you. She says, smiling. —Do you prefer fish or meat?

—I'll have whatever you guys are having. I wonder how expensive the place is; she didn't even let me look at the menu.

The meal was perfect, and I ate until my stomach hurt. Alice and Esme talked about nothing in particular during the meal, and I would answer their questions here and there between spoonfuls of food. During dessert, a slight vibration on the table calls Alice's attention. She takes a quick look at her smartwatch and lets out a loud sigh.

—Looks like I have to take care of a few things, but everything is ready, so just start without me. I'll be back as soon as I can. I really wanted to see all of them, though… Alice pouts like a child as she looks back and forth at Esme and me.

—Don't worry and take your time. We'll be waiting for you. Esme says, smiling at her.

I look at them without understanding what they're talking about. Still, they don't explain anything to me, not even when we leave the restaurant and drive around the city to another building where about ten women are side by side at the entrance. One woman is ahead of the others, is holding a file in her hands and smiling at us as we leave the car.

—Welcome, Ms. President. The lady says with a smile as the other women repeat her words.

—I already told you I don't need a reception, Jenny. Alice says, taking the file out of the woman's hands.

—It's just a formality. Besides, it's been so long since you came to the office. We all missed you. Jenny says. They look like they're good friends.

We ride an elevator together, but Alices gets off first with Jenny, and another woman wearing a black uniform comes inside it.

—I'll be right back. She says. —Have fun!

The doors close, and Esme and I continue to go up. When we get down, I can see a sea of clothes in front of us. I don't know what I imagined this place was, but it definitely wasn't this. Is Alice the owner of this place? Is it just this store? Or the whole building? And why clothes? Is Esme shopping for something?

We the woman to a door that reads "Staff Only" on it. Inside, I see a big room is full of clothing racks and feel a chill go down my spine.

A fitting room is set up on the right side, and a tiny stage in front of it has mirrors around it. All the clothes in the room are colorful and beautiful. My heart feels a little excited looking at them, but I soon go back to confusion and worry when I notice all the pieces are obviously my size. Esme walks around, giving the woman in uniform a few clothes.

—No need to look tired already. I won't make you try all of them. Alice probably would, but I'll try to speed things up for you. Esme keeps giving clothes to the woman that organizes them in a separate rack.

—Ahm… I have nothing to say back to Esme. I don't understand why they want to buy me new clothes. I wasn't even sure I could stay with them, but I guess she answered that question for me. I feel my heart flutter a little, realizing what she meant. But also, I can't accept all of this. Looking at this pile of stuff makes me remember that I don't have a single credit on me. Even if I have some somewhere, I'm sure I can't afford all of these clothes. Not remembering anything sucks.

—It's a present from Alice, but also something you need. I said I'm going to help you, and I meant, with everything. She says, smiling at me. —I'm just sorry Alice got too excited about this.

My stupid brains still can't find the words to talk to her. I'm still enjoying the realization that I'll stay with them for the time being.

—My younger son's wife went through the same thing. Well… the situation was different back then but look, we got tea and cake. Esme points to two cups of tea and a small tower of tea in front of a sofa. —Don't overthink it. Alice owns this place, so it's not like she's spending money.

I understand that's not true, but I also know she wants me to relax a bit and enjoy the process. I guess I can try them on but, I must make sure we take just a few.

I nod my head yes, take one of the pieces of clothing, and head to the fitting room. I repeat the same process for God knows how long, but even if I'm tired right now, I feel pretty good too. The women in the room make exaggerated compliments to the clothes I try on, making me a bit shy and maybe a tiny bit full of myself.

—What about this one? Esme asks for the millionth time while I pose in front of the mirror. I'm wearing one of the most comfortable pieces I've tried so far: a white hoodie and blue jeans.

—It's pretty. I answer for the millionth time.

—You know… Esme's voice startles me a bit. —You can say whether you like something or not. No one will think you're impolite or speaking out of place. I look at her, a bit nervous. I'm very aware of the position I am in right now. Aware of the amount of trouble I represent to them. So, I have been trying to please them the best I can as a sign of gratitude. She's never been unreasonable or anything, so it's easier to just go with the flow.

—I know that… I say in a quiet voice, avoiding her eyes.

—Do you know you haven't smiled since you woke up?

Her question made me even more aware of the fact. I could see my tired face reflected in the mirror, but I chose to ignore it. I know very well that my facial expressions make it difficult to express how thankful I am for the help, but… I guess the truth is…

—I'm not sure if I should. I bit my lip after the answer came out of them. Why did I say that out loud? I'm very embarrassed for saying something so strange in front of her, but Esme always makes me feel… safe. I never think she'll judge my words or say I'm weird. If I'm with her… then it's ok, to be honest, right?

Esme walks over to me and holds me around her arms, freezing my muscles in place.

—You have the right to say whatever you like. You can tell if it hurts or if you don't like something. You're not a burden, dear, not to me.

The smell of her skin is so intense now that I can taste the mint. Her words send a warm wave through my body, telling me everything will be ok. If Esme said it'd be ok, then I believe her.

—I… like this one. I prefer the comfortable ones. I say, trying to memorize the smell of her hair. She stops hugging me too soon.

—Got it. I'll get other colors. She walks back to the clothes rack behind the sofa. I watch her choose different colors of the hoodie I'm wearing, and my tired muscles don't complain as loudly as before. Who cares about my sore arms? Esme is smiling at me! I could run a marathon right now!

Alice comes in with Jenny right behind her as we get halfway through the rack.

—What did you think? Alice asks, looking at me.

—They're all lovely.

—Great! Jenny, pack all of them. I can't wait to put them all in your closet when we come back.

If it were possible to put subtitles over my head right now, they would read: "Processing…. Processing…" I take a second to absorb Alice's words as I look at her and back at the pile Jenny and the other woman carry around. The first thought in my head is: She's got to be joking.

—Anything wrong? Alice asks when she notices my empty look.

—What you just said… about the clothes… wasn't serious… right?

—Of course, it was. She shrugs like it was a stupid question. —You can't wear the same thing all the time. We don't know how long it'll take for you to remember, so you'll need all of those.

But… I was supposed to convince her to get only a few! I scream inside my head without an appropriate answer to say out loud.

—Relax. It's a present. A girl's greatest pleasure is shopping. I give up answering that. I lost this battle when I agreed to try on the first piece.

We walk around other stores downstairs and buy stuff like shoes, underwear, and small things Alice says I need. We pass by all these posters of famous people and coming movies. Every sign is an explosion of color and sound in my face. The latest releases are playing full blast inside the store, and I can recognize a few of the songs and even sing the next verse. I know actors and things like their age, their most famous movie, and most recent work, but in the middle of all that, I can't stop asking myself, how the heck do I know all this? I know his star sign, but I can't remember my name? Esme's voice pushes the thoughts away for a moment. It's time to head back.

It's pretty disturbing to realize how controversial this is. How can I remember someone else's life but not my own? How do I know all these things but can't name my hometown? Can memory loss be… selective? I keep my questions to myself for now since I don't know what all of this means. Maybe Carlisle can tell me what's wrong when the results come out.

The trip back home is fast. The sound of the rain hitting the windows is like a lullaby, and I fall fast asleep a few moments after entering the car. I'm inside a garage when I wake up, alone in the car. I stand up fast enough to see Esme walking through a door, probably going inside the house. I get off the car, and Alice opens the trunk to take out the stuff we bought.

—Good morning, sunshine, She says, teasing me. —Esme went to get the carrier.

I notice the robust jeep covered in mud parked next to Alice's.

—Rose and Emmett are back. She says. I'm not really sure how Alice looks when she's serious, so I'm not sure if that's the emotion I read on her face. She looks… worried? Or nervous?

Esme comes back through the door with a big robot following her. This guy is nothing like Eve. The robot in the room is much more gracious than this one. This carrier has black and red stripes all over his body and three hooks coming out the sides. He stops in front of the trunk, and we hang the bags in his arms.

I didn't think much about Rosalie and Emmett all day, but now, my mind is going over possible scenarios for our first meeting. What will they say? What will they think of their mother dragging a stranger inside the house and spending money on her like this? Would they be gentle and warm like Alice and Esme? Or cold and distant like Jasper? Or something in the middle like Carlisle? I would kick my parasite butt of the house right away if it were me.

We finish too fast, and Alice programs the robot to go upstairs and into my room. He passes by the door first, followed by Alice. I keep close to Esme as we also walk through the door. This door connects the garage to the back of the main staircase, so we come out facing the main hall. I can hear slightly altered voices coming from the living room, and I hold my breath, waiting for the moment all eyes will turn my way.

I wasn't disappointed. As soon as we reached the living room, there they were. The accusing eyes, staring at me. I'm done for.