The cold wind in my face makes me shiver, but Seth looks perfectly comfortable in his thin coat. We walk through the frozen ground, and I watch my steps as carefully as possible. There is no way I'm falling on my face in this ice. I don't even want to picture how embarrassing it would be.
Esme and Seth walk ahead of me along the front wall of the house, going around it, where a giant metal and glass structure raises from the middle of what looks like their backyard. Still, without any fences around the house, it seems like an extension of the forest growing behind the giant castle of glass thing.
—Awesome! Seth sounds very excited and rushes towards the structure.
When I finally reach Esme, I ask her what that place is.
—A greenhouse. She says, following Seth inside. I remember her talking about a greenhouse the other night, but I had no idea it was that… big.
When I open the door, it's spring inside the castle. The smell of flowers fills the air, and I feel hot under that coat. Beautiful flowers and plants are growing everywhere, a few even hanging from the ceiling after growing their branches by grabbing onto the metal and climbing the walls. The place is impressive.
—What do you think? Did I do a good job? Esme asks a very excited Seth that can't keep still.
—It's perfect! How did you get these flowers? Seth looks at the flowers closely, his big brown eyes shining like a child looking at a new toy. He seems fascinated by the color and shapes of each of them.
—It wasn't easy, but I have my methods. Esme sounds very proud of the place she created —I wanted to show you first.
They start to talk about the flowers, and I know they are speaking English, but I can't understand a word of what they say, so I just observe how happy they look.
Esme comes over to my side and starts talking about the flowers Seth is looking at. He has a big smile as he touches what I think is one of the flowers, but he goes for something on the ground. He looks at me and runs in my direction with something in his hands.
—Look what I found! He puts his hand right in front of my face and opens them to reveal the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
—A frog! I scream and hide behind Esme.
I can hear her laughing loudly at my reaction. —It's just a little frog, Anne. He must have jumped inside to hide from the cold.
It's not just a frog! It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life!
—I don't like frogs, ok? Can we leave now? Esme is laughing way too much, in my opinion.
—I can't believe you jumped like that because of a tiny frog. She's still laughing so hard she's out of breath.
—I'll wait outside. I say, angry and embarrassed of my reaction. I walk out of the greenhouse fast and back into the cold wind.
—I'm sorry I… I can hear Seth apologizing, but I just need to get out of there.
I cross the backyard and find a dry little rock on the ground to sit down. If I had fallen face down on the ice, it would've been less humiliating than this. I'm so… argh! I can feel my face red from the anger, and I don't notice Esme until she's right next to me.
—Sorry for laughing so much, but you have to admit, it was funny. I can tell she's holding in her laugh, so I don't stand up and keep a serious look on my face, holding on to any dignity I have left. —Anyway, this is good, right? It's like you remembered something, huh?
She makes my humiliation sound like something positive, but I instead just remember the fear than have to experience it to know it exists.
—All right, Seth is coming. She says, looking at him walking over from the greenhouse. —It wasn't his fault, and you overreacted, so let's all apologize, ok?
I watch him walking over, head down and looking sorry. I know I overreacted, but why did he put that thing right at my face? I least he didn't bend over laughing like Esme.
—I'm sorry, Julianne, I didn't mean to scare you. Seth has his hands in front of his body, head down. If the word "sorry" could have a face, it would've been his.
He is… different from what I've expected. When I first met him, I thought he was the sporty type of guy, like Emmett. Just very relaxed and laidback. Then I talked to him and realized he's a bit shyer… like me, actually. The thing is, his eyes are very… clear. Although he is this big guy, he is… docile. I know it's not the best word to describe a person, but that's how I feel about him now.
When I don't stand up or answer him, Esme hits me with her knee, making me look up. I have nothing nice to say to him, so I just repeat what Esme said.
—It's all right. I'm sorry too. I overreacted. I try not to look at him too much when I speak. His big brown puppy eyes make me feel guilty for being so mad for nothing.
—Great! Now that we are all friends again I… Esme's cellphone interrupts her. —Just a moment. I need to take this. She takes a few steps away from us to answer.
Seth and I won't look at each other, and although this cold rock is freezing my butt, I don't want to move because that would mean I have to speak first and continue to apologize, so, since I'm a very reasonable girl, I'll freeze my butt off before speaking first, thank you very much.
—I'm really sorry. Seth says, making me look at him. Like I predicted, his big eyes make me feel sorry for overreacting, and I end up apologizing again.
—Don't worry. I'm not angry anymore. I look away.
He sits next to me. —I'll make sure there are no frogs in the greenhouse. If I do that, will you go back there?
His words make me look up and meet his eyes. He is… close to me.
—I don't know. Why? I keep looking at him, trying to read his expressions. My heart beats a little faster now, and I wonder why. Maybe I am still angry.
—Because I want to show each one of them to you.
—Ahm… y-yeah, sure. I'm not sure what my face looks like right now, but my heart tells me it's probably beet-red. How did I go from angry to this after a few words?
Seth opens a big smile upon hearing my answer. I can feel how genuinely happy he looks, and I feel less embarrassed now.
—You really like those flowers, don't you? I finally stand up and take what it feels to me, a discrete step away from him. I need some distance from those twinkling eyes.
—I do. Once I read a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It said, "The earth laughs in flowers." I feel the same way. Seth has a loving look in his eyes. He's looking at the greenhouse, and his eyes may as well be the ones of a man in love. In this case, not with someone, but with those flowers.
—I guess it's true. They are wonderful. Too bad they don't last very long. Those flowers wouldn't be alive unless they were in their greenhouse. Sadly, they are trapped that way, but as long as they can survive, maybe that's enough. There is beauty in how fragile they are.
When I look at Seth, his face is serious. The smile is gone, and his eyebrows are mushed together, making him look confused. I look back at the greenhouse and then at him without knowing what to say, and before I can, Esme finishes her call and walks back.
—Let's go back inside. You'll catch a cold if we stay here too long. We follow Esme back into the house, and I can finally feel my fingers again. I take off my boots and go straight upstairs to my room, avoiding chit-chat.
—But, I was going to make tea… I can hear Esme's voice as I run upstairs, but I don't look back.
As soon as I close the door behind me, I can organize my thoughts. What was that look about? Why did he stare at me like that? I said flowers are pretty, didn't I? Besides, all that talk about showing me the flowers. He needs to decide if he's shy or straightforward. I barely know him, and he keeps looking at me like that.
His behavior confuses me, but mine is worse. I don't know why but I feel curious about him. I thought I wanted to run away from him and avoid conversation, but talking to him felt… nice. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
Argh! As long as he doesn't get too close again….
I throw myself on my bed and stare at the white curtains. A smile comes up to my lips, and I can almost laugh. It's been nearly five days since I came here and today is the first time I worried about something other than the fact I don't remember who I am. I didn't feel my throat close up or drown myself in self-pity, and it was almost lunchtime. I consider that a good reason to laugh. Maybe Alice and Esme are right. Maybe making friends with Seth is a good idea after all.
I walk downstairs when I hear Esme's voice coming from the little robot. When I get to the kitchen, she sets the table, but there are only two seats today.
—Take a seat. She says. —Seth said he had somewhere to go, and he won't be back until sundown.
I know he has his own life, but a part of me wonders if he left because of what I said. I did offend the flowers he loves so much if I think about it. I said they die easily.
Esme seems in a rush today and finishes her food fast. We don't talk much the rest of the day, but I don't really worry about it. I spend more time than I want to admit thinking about how I will apologize to Seth, but I don't get to see him all day and go to bed without meeting him.
Today I had my first dream. It was strange but also very…relaxing. I'm inside this light green water, and bubbles are floating around me. I'm just swimming inside the water and popping bubbles for fun, smiling and feeling happy. When I wake up, my body feels relaxed and well-rested.
I wash my face, thinking today is the day I get to talk to him again. I thought of something good yesterday to apologize. He said he wanted to show me the flowers, so I'll ask him to go to the greenhouse and then say sorry for saying they die fast. It wasn't a lie when I said that, but nobody likes to hear that something they love is short-living or imperfect. If he's still mad, then… well, let's trust plan A, let's have faith in plan A.
I get downstairs and have breakfast with Esme, but no sign of Seth. We talked for some time, looking at the snow covering the ground and trees outside. I hold back my curiosity the best I can, but I finally decide to ask.
—Where's Seth? I try to look very relaxed and not bothered, but I'm really curious.
—Oh, he must be sleeping. He came back really tired yesterday. Esme answers, drinking her tea.
—Tired?
—He was training with Sam and Jacob.
—Training? My questions seem to take Esme by surprise. She sounds a bit rushed when she speaks.
—Yeah, you know… training. Seth is really strong for his age, right? Esme puts her hands over her shoulder like she wants to make herself look more prominent. —That's because he's a… an athlete, yeah, He's a… boxer.
A boxer? I thought he was an athlete of sorts, but a boxer?
—Really? Somehow I can't picture Seth fighting in a ring.
We turn our heads to the door when we hear heavy steps approaching and see Seth standing in front of the kitchen door, looking breathless.
—Seth. What's the rush? Esme asks.
—I slept too much, didn't I? His hair looks a mess, and he clearly just hopped out of bed.
—Well, not exactly. Take a seat. I'll warm up the tea. Esme stands up with the teapot in her hands.
—No need! He says, taking the pot out of her hands and putting it back on the table. He sits down and starts devouring the food, and I can't stop staring at how fast he's eating. He'll choke on something any minute. But he doesn't. He just eats everything in front of him and stands up again.
—I got to go, but I'll be back as soon as I can. It won't take long this time. He looks at me when he's talking, and just as fast as he came, he disappears again.
—Have a nice day. Esme says to nobody. —He's energetic today. She is collecting the dishes from the table.
—I know… I've never seen someone eat like this.
—I'm already used to it. You should see the others; they eat even more than him. Esme is laughing, but I can't do the same. I can't believe she's telling the truth.
I sit in the living room, waiting for Esme to finish cleaning the kitchen. She never lets me help anyway, no matter how much I ask, so I just appreciate the view of the garden covered in snow. When she's done, she comes from the kitchen with a big box in her hands.
—All ready! She says, putting the box on the carpet, next to the center table, and sitting on the floor. —Sit here.
I sit next to her as she takes all kinds of sewing materials out of the box.
—I know it looks boring, but this is my hobby at the moment. My mother taught me how to sew, and I always wanted to teach my children, but Alice and Rosalie have no interest in it. I made the sheets in your bedroom and the blankets on the sofa as well.
She's amazing. I touch the blankets on the sofa next to us, and they look store-bought to me. She must be very good at it.
—This looks amazing. I admire all the things she took off the box. She has everything in there.
—You really think so? Do you want to try it? Esme looks so eager to show me her hobby that the shine on her eyes makes me smile. I say yes, and she gets even happier.
—All right! First, let's put down these curtains. Esme puts down the curtain on the living room, blocking the faint and rare sunlight coming from outside.
—Now, first, you need to learn how to use the needles. Esme takes two long thick sticks with a twisted end and rolls a fat line around them. She starts twisting and turning the line forming some knots connected.
—How did you do that? She has impressive skills, and even if she is doing it right in front of me, I have no idea how to copy her movements.
She continues to smile and create more knots until I can distinguish the shape of the corner of a square forming.
—It's easy. Give it a try. She gives me the needles and the line, but I have no idea where to start.
—How do I do this? Esme places needles on my hands and teaches me how to move and twist the line so it'll create a link between them, but I'm horrible at it. The line gets tangled, and there's a big hole in between the knots.
—It's not tight enough. She explains patiently —That's why there are holes.
—I see… I understand what she means, but I have no idea what I can do to fix it.
—I'll have to cut off the line. She says, looking for something. —Where are the scissors? Did I leave them upstairs?
She's about to stand up, but I'm faster. I've never had the chance to help her with something, but I have the perfect opportunity this time. Doing dishes, cleaning, laundry, she does it all by herself. When I get the chance to help, I grab it right away.
—I'll get it. Where is it? I can't help but smile.
—But I can…
—It's no trouble. I'll get it. I go around the sofa and am ready to go.
—Well, I think I left it in my room on the bed table. It's upstairs on the right. The door is open.
—Great! I'll be right back! I run upstairs as fast as I can before she changes her mind.
I can't believe she'll have to destroy the whole thing. I'm terrible at this. I might have zero talent, but I want to learn so I can spend more time with her. I walk down the corridor on the right, the opposite side of my bedroom, for the first time. I walk a few steps and notice the open door. It must be here. I walk over and see another open door a few more steps away. Why so many doors? Let's try this one first.
The hundreds of books lined up on the shelves take my breath away when I enter the room.