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Naruto almost chased after the Anbu who grabbed Haku but remembered Kakashi's words from last night; Haku doesn't need that kind of heat right now. Honestly it still felt like Naruto was in a waking dream. When he brought Haku back to the village he imagined she would be interrogated but inducted into the Shinobi forces and they could be friends who go on missions together sometimes- those delusions started to evaporate when Haku was brusquely arrested when they stepped foot in the village.

Sasuke had been strangely silent whenever he talked about how Haku could train with them from time to time when they got back into the village. Sakura didn't even hit or scream at him once the entire trip back despite him bragging to Haku how lucky she was to be taken to Konoha. She just smiled awkwardly and nodded her head. Kakashi was the only one who acted normal as he bluntly read his porn. Naruto wasn't very well socialized due to a lifetime of forced isolation and ostracization but his usually vitriolic teammate's pity hit him like a truck when Haku was taken at the village gates. Sasuke just gave the scene a knowing look and Sakura just seemed disappointed.

Naruto screamed himself hoarse at the Anbu abducting Haku and tried to follow but Kakashi held him in place. In his sensei's grasp he just screamed at him demanding he do something, anything. Kakashi just said nothing while he held him like he was a bratty kid throwing a tantrum. When he eventually realized the futility of trying to break out of the Jonin's hold and stopped thrashing Kakashi just stated everything done was under the Hokage's orders. His whole world cracked when Kakashi blunted revealed Haku might be very well extradited to Kirigakure and or executed for being a missing-nin. He doesn't know how long he remained prone after hearing that; despite all the hurt he felt at that moment Naruto remembered not being the least bit surprised. His mind just flashed through all those years where parents pulled their children away when he tried to play, the whispers and glances that followed wherever he went, everyone ignoring him unless absolutely forced to pay attention to him, and the night he learned the truth from Mizuki.

His mind was only freed from his miserable trance when he felt Kakashi's hold end. He sprinted with the desperation of released prey straight to the Hokage's tower. He bursted in on the old man talking to that bandaged man who he occasionally saw visiting the tower. Naruto threw the biggest fit of his life then and there, apathetic that the bandaged geezer was watching them. He was so enraged and passionate he barely remembered what was said until the mummy man mentioned something about marriage. He then started demanding to marry Haku and, for whatever reason, the mummy sided with him. Hokage ultimately sighed and told the man who was named Danzo to go, which he did, looking surprisingly pleased. The old man then told him to go home, shower, find a kimono or yukata, and come back.

When Naruto arrived back at the tower in his simple orange yukata the ceremony instantly began. He was left waiting for Haku who, from appearances, was taken straight from her cell for the wedding. Iruka became involved in this as he escorted Haku in for the ceremony, his eyes were more shocked than any of his pranks ever made them. He wondered if Danzo invited Iruka and if he asked his teammates or classmates to be there, or what their reactions would have been to see the class dunce marry such a pretty kunoichi. The ceremony was far quicker than Naruto guessed they should be and only Kakashi, Danzo, and Iruka served as their witnesses. The old man officiated his wedding with a combination of his usual tired demeanor with him and the legendary aura he maintained as Hokage.

Haku was briefly taken by the Hokage for some words, likely over the Fox. Then he and his newly wed wife were taken back home by his sensei. There were no cheering friends, Iruka gave him a nervous congratulations before mentioning Academy tomorrow, and he was left with a wife after 12 years of having no genuine family or friends except for the Hokage, Iruka, and the Ichirakus. He wondered if the Ichirakus would have been willing to cater his wedding for a discount; if only he had gotten a better wedding planner than Danzo.

On the trek back home he ignored his sensei and his wife- on their wedding night- to wonder what his parent's marriage was like. He wondered if his parents had an idyllic marriage. The old man always brushed the subject away, even screaming at him if he got too persistent, until he learned to stop asking. The night he learned he was a Jinchuriki he ventured to ask about them again only to be brushed off again with the promise of hearing about them someday.

He imagined his father as a great spiky-haired shinobi with so much courage it bordered on sheer recklessness with his mom as a faithful partner by his side who served as the occasional voice of reason with enough cunning to match his father's energy. Naruto wondered how his parents would and should feel if they could see him now. The logical part of his brain told him that most parents would be horrified to learn their kid married a missing-nin before even becoming a teenager. He hoped they would at least be happy to see he made a friend who was going to spend the rest of his life with and that they would approve of Haku. He hoped they would see in Haku the kind girl in the forest he met that fateful day.

That would make him feel vindicated.

When they finally reached his apartment he was left alone with his wife after Kakashi's teasing exit. Now he had to figure out how to talk to his wife when he could barely manage to talk to a girl.

Haku seemed to be just as socially stunted as him so he didn't feel too bad or like he was missing anything. That was good in that he now knew she wouldn't yell at him like Sakura or a nagging wife. It also meant she wasn't able to or going to tell him how to be a good husband or friend.

Naruto didn't know either and doubted this was an exam he could just flunk.

The blonde shook these doubts and thoughts from his head as he made his way to the Hokage's office after Haku was taken again. Naruto knew dwelling over the past never changed anything and just made you an emo like Sasuke. The blonde found the Hokage at this office like he did the thousands of times he came to visit.

"Did you drop off your wife?"

"Yes."

"Her visits are non-negotiable." The Hokage cut him off before he could even respond. "Get to training, she'll be waiting for you here when you're done."

"Actually, I have something I want to ask you about." Naruto's voice was timid as even he realized how audacious his following request was.

"Unsurprising." The Sandaime's tone was flat and bored.

"Where's is Zabuza's sw. . . " Naruto's voice trailed off at the Sandaime's instant realization and quickly growing fury.

Naruto's head sank to the floor.

"I never received a dowry from Haku."

The Sandaime took audible breaths to relieve his anger as Naruto didn't dare make another move or sound. He lifted his head again when the sound of air ceased.

"Naruto." The Sandaime called his name as though he were a misbehaving brat.

"You always did everything on a whim. You skipped your classes because they were boring. You pulled pranks for attention. You did whatever you felt like doing and I always protected you. No matter how bad your academy grades were I never let the faculty expel you like they petitioned me to innumerable times. Despite the property damage and offense your pranks caused, I never assigned a punishment worse than having Iruka scold you and force you to clean up the scene. When you stole the forbidden scroll in a fleeting hope to pass instead of coming to me to inform me of Mizuki's dubious test I even rewarded you. When you screamed at me for a C-rank mission I gave it to you on the spot just to shut you up. Now you married a pretty little security risk on a mission that could have so easily ended terribly with my reluctant approval."

Naruto knew that the man he called jiji was speaking to him. The Sandaime Hokage was dressing down one of his troublesome shinobi.

"You're at an age and rank where following this sort of thoughtless impulse won't be endlessly tolerated and I won't spare you from the consequences of your own actions."

If looks could kill then Naruto understood how Sarutobi was crowned the Sandaime and led the village to victory in two wars.

"Now that you understand that this is your last chance," Sarutobi nearly growled his words. "Do you want to annul your marriage to Yuki Haku?"

"No." Naruto would always be proud of himself for his instant answer in spite of jiji's terrifying opposition.

Sarutobi almost looked as proud of him as he was exasperated at that moment. His chilling stance quickly thawed.

"Provided Haku is accepted into the Shinobi corps I will speak to you about giving her Kubikiribocho."

"Hai, Lord Hokage." Naruto bowed his head and knew to leave.

"Naruto." The boy paused. "I believe I will take you and your wife to Ichiraku's to celebrate your union." The old man smiled. "A word of caution, though. Teuchi will be furious when he learns you didn't ask him to cater."

"You appointed the wedding planner," Naruto laughed before leaving. He could hear jiji's laughter follow him down the halls.