12. Soon
Charlie had forgotten all about school until his alarm had rudely awoken him. He had rolled over and drifted off again for so long that by the time he ran downstairs he only had ten minutes before he needed to catch the bus.
Julio was humming tunelessly to whatever song was playing on the radio, staring absent-mindedly into the fridge, but when he saw Charlie his expression dropped for a split second, then quickly recovered itself. But Charlie had seen.
Julio picked up a plastic tub from the counter and handed it to Charlie. "Here," he said. "I made your lunch."
"Thanks," said Charlie and tucked it into his bag.
Julio stood there, furiously battling within himself for the right thing to say. Charlie waited patiently, allowing his dad to process.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie," Julio said as he exhaled. He rubbed his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry for how useless I've been. I can't imagine what it's been like for you - to not even feel comfortable enough to share any of it with your own parents… I'm not saying I blame you. I really don't, Charlie. It's our fault. You should be able to come to us about anything, and we've failed you."
"It's alright, dad. There was nothing you could have done differently that would have made me tell you. Nick didn't tell his mum and they usually talk to each other about everything."
"I just think that if we'd known the truth, maybe your mum would have done things differently. She would have understood better what you were going through."
"Maybe."
"And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you last night. I had to work late, and there was no way I could have gotten out of it. You were already in bed when I got home."
"It's alright. I understand. Mum seems to have calmed down a bit at least…"
"She's really trying, Charlie. You know it's hard for her to accept it when she's wrong, and I think that dinner really brought home just how unpopular her opinions are." Julio smiled. "I hope you know how much everyone else around that table supports you, Charlie. Even if your mum won't see it, I can tell how much Nick means to you, and how much you mean to him. I think he might be a keeper, Charlie."
"I think so too." Charlie looked down at his shoes. "I'm going to miss my bus."
Julio shoved an apple into Charlie's hands, then followed him into the hallway where Tori was leaning against the front door, waiting grumpily.
"Tell Nick he is welcome here anytime he likes. Just no sleepovers on school nights, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks, dad."
Tori yanked the door open.
"But you're going to have to start leaving your door open! There will be no hanky panky in this house!"
"Dad!"
"Not until you're married!"
Charlie shut the door and set off quickly after Tori.
"Hmm…" said Tori. "I wonder if phone sex counts as hanky panky…"
Charlie had just braved a bite of his apple and nearly choked on it.
"We share a wall, Charles."
It took several seconds for Charlie to remember he was meant to follow his sister onto the bus. When he finally did, Tori had shoved her earphones in and was watching out the window, determinedly not looking at him.
Charlie was perfectly happy to follow suit, if for no other reason than to never look his sister in the eye again.
Nick saw Tori's eye roll quite clearly from across the pavement as she and Charlie got off the bus. Charlie gave her a half-hearted wave. She shook her head in exasperation as she walked off toward Higgs.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Nick was overly aware of how breathless he sounded.
There was something different in Charlie's usual greeting as well.
The feeling reminded Nick of how he'd felt all the time back when he had first realised he had a crush on Charlie - only more. It took everything in him not to pin Charlie against the fence and kiss him senseless.
"Are you alright?" said Charlie, frowning. "You're staring."
"Nothing!" said Nick quickly. "I mean… it's just… you're very… I wanted… doesn't matter…"
Charlie giggled, circled his arm around Nick's and began to lead them both through the gates, toward the English block. "Do you have a crush on me or something, Nick Nelson?"
Nick smirked. "Who are you again?"
Charlie pouted dramatically. Nick chuckled.
"What was up with Tori there? She seemed more hostile toward me than usual. At least, I think so… it's hard to tell with her…"
Charlie grimaced. "She may or may not have heard us last night."
"Jesus Christ," Nick groaned. "Oh my God. We weren't that loud, were we?"
"I dunno," Charlie murmured. "Maybe… I'm never going to be able to look her in the eye again."
"You're never going to be able to look her in the eye! I'm the one defiling her little brother!"
"Oh my God, please don't say it like that…"
But Charlie was laughing. He nudged Nick's shoulder with his own as they stepped inside the corridor. Nick never wanted to kiss him more than when he was laughing like that, his eyes bright, his dimples in full effect. Nick was just contemplating where the nearest empty classroom might be when -
"Nick Nelson, Charlie Spring!"
Mr Barnes appeared through the parting crowd in front of them.
"I was just coming to find you both. You're in luck! You both get a valid excuse to miss form this morning. There is someone who wants to speak with you in my office."
The headmaster gestured for them to lead the way back down the corridor. Nick and Charlie were probably some of the few people in the school who actually enjoyed form time.
Wondering what they were about to walk into, Charlie was glad Nick was beside him at least. But it wasn't Helen who was waiting for them as Charlie had assumed.
Behind the headmaster's desk sat a man. He was younger than Helen, with tanned skin and a shaved head. He looked a little awkward sitting in the fancy leather chair, like a child sitting in his father's chair.
"Thanks, sir." The man flashed a grin at Mr Barnes and the headmaster left them to it.
Nick and Charlie, with a sense of uneasy deja vu, sat themselves in chairs that had, once again, been placed too far apart for their liking.
Charlie could still sense the tension that had appeared in Nick's shoulders. He wanted to smooth it away but now was not the time.
"I'm Inspector Tony Michaels. You can call me Tony. Formalities make me nervous." Tony laughed awkwardly. "Helen has sent me over today to ask you to take a look at a line-up we have compiled since your confession yesterday. Would you mind taking a look for me?"
Charlie exchanged an alarmed look with Nick. They should have expected this, to be honest. Charlie saw Nick swallow nervously. He looked suddenly very nauseous.
Charlie turned to Tony and nodded. "I'll do it. Whatever it takes to find this guy…"
Nick nodded too. "Same."
"You might want to scootch your chairs a little closer, then," said Tony. "I've only got this little iPad I'm afraid. Helen and I wanted to call you back into the station but Officer Kane was being a grouch as usual…"
Not having to be told twice, Nick and Charlie pulled their chairs forward toward the desk and used the excuse to move themselves close enough together so that their knees touched. Some of the tension went from Nick's shoulders. Still, Charlie placed a reassuring hand on his knee under the desk.
Tony placed the iPad down in front of them and the boys put their heads together to look at the first photo. The man depicted had the usual look of suspects you saw on the news. It never seemed to matter whether they were innocent or not, they always looked a little creepy to Charlie.
As they flipped through all ten of them, Charlie was more and more unsurprised when each different face was as unfamiliar as the last. He could see the detectives were on the right track though. All of them were tall white men with dark hair. A few of them even had a scruffy beard.
Tony's face fell further, disappointed each time the boys shook their heads.
By the time they were done, Nick had wrapped his hand firmly around where Charlie's lay on his knee. With every new photo, there was the added dread of possibly being forced to confront the face of the man who haunted Nick's nightmares. The man who Nick had watched shoot the boy next to him over and over again.
Finally, Tony thanked them for their help and they were sent back to class, planners signed to excuse their lateness.
Nick allowed Charlie to lead him by the hand into the nearest toilets. Charlie pulled him into his arms and Nick sunk against him.
They stood there together by the sinks, holding each other while Nick breathed.
Neither of them felt the need to say anything. They both knew nothing could be said. Only that they both needed a moment to themselves before they had to face the rest of the day.
"We should probably go…" Nick murmured finally.
Charlie lifted his head and peered into Nick's pale face. He brushed aside a few strands of floppy fringe. "Are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah." Nick rested his forehead against Charlie's and closed his eyes for a second. "Thank you. I needed that."
"Me too," Charlie whispered.
Charlie's hand reached up to hold Nick's chin lightly as their lips brushed. Charlie sighed into it. Nick shivered.
"We really should go…" Charlie breathed.
Nick kissed his forehead quickly, then turned reluctantly toward the door. Once they were back outside in the corridor, it was very difficult for them both not to linger any longer.
"I love you." Nick smiled a little sadly.
"I love you, too."
Charlie watched Nick walk away down the corridor for as long as he could before he disappeared around the corner. Charlie's mind was back in the toilets, traitorously imagining how they could have utilised those sinks if they'd had more time - and if things hadn't been quite so serious.
Charlie scurried back inside to splash cold water onto his face before class.
What was wrong with him?
The thrill that went through Charlie when Nick sat down beside him on the usual picnic bench, hair slightly damp from his morning PE lesson, hit him like nothing else. He even felt a little light headed.
"Now you're the one staring," Nick laughed. "Is there something on my face?"
"Yep," said Charlie and kissed his cheek. "Me."
"Pfft." Nick slid his arm around Charlie's waist and Charlie snuggled in as close as he could get on the narrow bench. He giggled as Nick nuzzled into his hair to kiss behind his ear.
"Nick! We're at school…" But Charlie didn't make any attempt to push him away.
"Mm," Nick hummed into his ear. "But I missed you, baby."
Nick kissed his way down along Charlie's jaw, to finally capture his mouth. Charlie sighed as Nick's lips parted his own.
"When did that happen?"
"What, my love?" Nick murmured against Charlie's mouth.
Charlie broke the kiss to smile sweetly up at Nick. His face had somehow found it's colour again.
"When did you start calling me 'baby'? And 'love'?"
Nick looked down, cheeks flushed. Charlie grinned fondly. He was so adorable when he was embarrassed - it was one of the reasons he loved to tease him so much.
"Um… I dunno. I'll stop if -"
"Don't you dare!" Charlie placed his hands flat against Nick's chest, over his shirt but under his blazer. He fiddled with Nick's tie absent-mindedly and flattened his shirt collar. "It's just a little unfair that you have such a plethora of names for me when I have none for you."
"You don't need to -"
Charlie hung onto the lapels of Nick's blazer and looked up at him through his eyelashes. "How about… 'Honeybun'?"
Nick laughed.
"'Sugar pie'?"
"Charlie!"
"'Buttercup'?"
"Enough!"
"Hmm... Custard cream?"
"Gross!"
They both collapsed against each other, giggling and blushing.
"You don't need to call me anything other than Nick. Honestly, just hearing you say my name is usually enough to reduce me to mush."
"Really? That sounds pretty gay…"
"Oh, that's good. I heard you're into that… baby…"
Charlie leant in as close as he could without their lips actually touching. "Nick…"
Nick proceeded to pretend to swoon dramatically. "Take pity on me, Charlie! I can't take it!"
"Oh no! Are you mush now?"
Nick slumped forward onto the table. "Those are some strong powers you have there, Char. You'd better use them wisely."
"I think I can handle it." Charlie poked him in the side. "I guess you already have a nickname, hey?"
Nick raised his head back up and tickled Charlie back. "And he's funny too!"
"Shut up! Ahh -!"
"Oh no, Aled, I think we'd better find somewhere else to sit today. Our friends seem to have been replaced by two octopi."
Nick and Charlie looked up from their tickle-fight, expressions morphing from caught to guilty as they separated very, very marginally.
Tao and Aled sat down opposite them. Tao cautiously took out a packet of crisps, apparently worried for the sake of his appetite. Aled studied them both over the straw of his juice box.
"Something has changed," he said.
Nick straightened the front of his blazer awkwardly with his free hand. The other hand had fallen into place at Charlie's hip, his thumb tucked slightly under Charlie's waistband. Charlie's hand had come to rest over Nick's thigh, where it was threatening to slip very slightly between his legs.
They both blinked up at Aled in confusion.
"You slept together, didn't you?"
Tao spluttered as he inhaled a mouthful of crisps. He recovered enough to glimpse Nick and Charlie's very red, very guilty faces.
"Oh my God, you did, didn't you?" Tao groaned.
"N-no!" Nick stammered.
"Not really…" Charlie gasped.
"I knew it!" said Aled.
"We just…" Nick looked sheepishly at Charlie.
"Ugh!" Tao discarded his crisps and buried his face in his beanie. "I don't need details!"
Charlie snorted. "Are you sure?"
"I am very sure, yes, thank you!"
Nick squeezed Charlie against his side as they both giggled at their friend's exasperated misery. Aled smugly sipped his juice.
By the time Nick arrived at the school gates at the end of the day, he had almost forgotten about the line-up from this morning. Almost.
The sun was shining and the gaggle of students around him were full of cheer for the looming summer holidays. Nick was just hoping they would catch the shooter sooner rather than later, so that he and Charlie could enjoy their first summer holiday as a couple without the bastard breathing down their necks, when his phone rang in his hand.
He would usually ignore an unknown number but something made him answer it.
"Hello?"
"Nick Nelson?"
"Yes?"
"Hi. This is Tony - I mean, Inspector Michaels - from earlier."
Nick suddenly felt vaguely queasy.
"I just wanted to ask you a quick question regarding your witness statement."
Nick swallowed his nausea. "Okay."
"You said in the recording that you hit the perpetrator with a cricket bat, is that correct?"
Nick looked down at a crack in the pavement at his feet. A tuft of weeds were peeking up out of it, including a daisy. He focused on the flower as he fought to regulate his breathing.
"Yes."
"What exactly did you do with the bat?"
"I threw it in the bushes by the cabin."
"You didn't move it after the fact?"
"No. It should still be there."
"Okay. Thanks for your help, Nick. Have a nice evening."
The inspector hung up before Nick could form a goodbye. He was still staring at the daisy, phone limp in his hand, when Charlie arrived.
"Everything okay?"
"Hm?" Nick looked up to find his boyfriend watching him worriedly. "That was Tony."
Charlie's eyebrows knitted in concern. "What did he want?"
"Just asked me what I did with the cricket bat."
"Oh." Charlie slipped his hands around Nick's waist, slid them under his blazer, around to rest against the base of his spine. "Are you alright?"
"Hmm…"
"You've been stressed out all day, haven't you?"
Nick nodded. He thought he'd been hiding it better. "I thought it would all be over once we told the truth."
"I don't think it's going to be over until they catch him, I'm afraid."
"I know." Nick drooped against Charlie's shoulder. "But it still makes me so anxious."
Charlie rubbed soothing circles into his back.
They stood there, bundled together, unaware of the pointing and the whispered gossip, until a car horn sounded close by.
Sarah Nelson was watching them guiltily from her open car window. She looked genuinely sorry for having to break them apart.
"I'm afraid we have to get going, Nick. We've got to take Nellie to the vets, remember?"
Charlie followed Nick toward the car.
"Is she sick?" Charlie asked.
"It's just a check-up, dear," said Sarah. "I'm sorry for stealing Nick away. But Nellie always does much better at the vets when he's there."
"I can understand that." Charlie smiled as he kissed Nick goodbye. "See you tomorrow."
"Miss you already."
Nick climbed into the passenger seat and watched Charlie walk away toward the bus stop. He watched as Charlie turned back and blew him a kiss so adorably that it took everything Nick had not to abandon Nellie and run after him. The little shit didn't even hang around long enough for Nick to blow him a kiss back.
"Charlie seems to be doing better," said Sarah as they drove toward town. Nellie was curled up at Nick's feet. "Have things settled down with his mum?"
"He says things are better but I dunno. He's so used to the way she treats him. Most of the time I think he thinks he deserves it."
"I hope you tell him otherwise."
"All the time," said Nick. "I don't know how often he believes me."
"Keep saying it, and one day maybe you won't have to."
"I plan to." Nick sighed. "It's still hard to let him go home sometimes, knowing what he could be walking into."
Sarah frowned and considered this for a moment.
"I have a feeling there are some things I don't know about Jane Spring. Things Charlie has told you?"
Nick hesitated.
"You don't have to tell me what they are. I'm sure he told you them in confidence. I won't ask you to break that."
"There are… some things…"
Sarah nodded grimly. "If there ever comes a time when you think there needs to be an intervention, if you need me to call someone or if Charlie needs somewhere safe to stay, or anything at all, I am more than willing to help."
Nick stroked Nellie's soft ears, willing himself not to cry at the mere thought of things getting that bad.
"Thanks, mum." He hastened to change the subject. "An inspector came to show us a line-up today. It wasn't Helen though, it was someone else."
"Inspector Michaels?"
"Yeah."
"He seemed an odd man when I was there. A little too cheerful. But I suppose you have to find a reason to be cheerful in a job like that or you'd be miserable. I preferred him to that other bloke, Officer Kane. He was rude. Did you manage to identify anyone?"
"No. We didn't recognise any of them."
"Hm. Well, it's bound to take some time for them to find him. It's been weeks. He could be anywhere by now."
"I suppose."
"Try not to worry about it, Nicky. I know that's easier said than done, but, look on the bright side. It's nearly summer! Are you excited for our holiday?"
"I would be more excited if you let Charlie come…"
On Friday morning, Charlie got off the bus to find that he had beaten Nick to school for once. He pushed down the worry that threatened to rise and settled against the fence to wait.
He'd probably overslept, Charlie thought. They had both been up late last night, texting and then FaceTiming into the early hours of the morning. Despite the lack of it, Charlie always felt he slept better when Nick was beside him, even if it was through a screen.
No more than a few minutes later, Nick appeared through the crowd of students and hurried along the pavement toward him.
A loud chorus of groans erupted from somewhere to their right. Nick and Charlie stopped mid-hug. Sai, Christian and Otis were standing in a huddle close by.
"Aw!" Christian exclaimed. "We thought you were hurrying to greet us, Nick!"
Otis laughed. "Nah! We're obviously not exciting enough for him anymore."
"Not pretty enough," mumbled Sai. "How come you weren't at rugby this week?"
"Oh. Um… we were… sick," said Nick.
"Both of you?" Christian teased. "At the same time? How convenient…"
"Well, sometimes that can happen, you see," said Charlie. "When you share so many things. Snacks, straws… saliva…"
Nick laughed at the astonished looks on his friends' faces.
"Wow," said Otis. "Imagine not being single."
"I wanna share saliva with someone," Christian whined. "I'm not sure about snacks, though. I'm pretty territorial about my snacks."
Nick and Charlie joined Sai, Christian and Otis as they headed toward form, laughing back and forth with each other.
Nick was so pleased with how seamlessly Charlie fit in with them, and at how accepting his friends were of their relationship. He had been ready to drop them all if they had not accepted it but he was very glad he hadn't needed to.
Unseen by any of the boys, as they walked toward the school buildings, a black car pulled up silently outside the school gates. A dark tinted window slid down. The driver adjusted his shades, pulled his cap further over his eyes.
His target was in sight. He must act swiftly.
But he would have to be careful.
He would have to be patient.
He would watch and wait.
For as long as it took.
For the rest of the day, the bright sunshine seemed to be reflecting Charlie's mood for once. He had finally removed the bandages from his arms that morning and for the first time in a while, Nick did not seem so exhausted. When Charlie asked him about it, he told him cheerfully that he had gone two whole nights without a single nightmare.
They had celebrated this milestone by ditching their friends halfway through lunch to make out against their secluded tree.
Charlie was aware he was abandoning his friends a lot lately. Neither Tao nor Aled had any idea what they had been through. Charlie knew he and Nick often got caught up in their own little world but now they were bound not just by mutual love and respect but by shared trauma too.
Apparently these three things were an indestructible combination.
When the bell rang and they finally resurfaced, Charlie walked off toward his next lesson, feeling thoroughly kissed and on top of the world.
It was difficult to concentrate on his algebraic formulas when he was too busy picturing Nick, sitting in his own lesson, somewhere across the school, his hair still dishevelled, constantly adjusting his collar so as to not reveal the mark Charlie had left beneath it.
Tao gave him a nudge. Charlie's elbow slipped from where it had been holding his chin up. The pen in his hand skidded across the paper in a jagged line.
"What was that for?" Charlie hissed.
"I'm sure whatever's going through your head is much more entertaining but it's almost the end of the lesson. You've barely even started."
Charlie groaned. "Ugh! Sir's going to make me complete this for extra homework, isn't he?"
"Yep."
"Great."
Even though Charlie had acquired a veritable mountain of homework, considering he had a lot of catch-up from Wednesday, the prospect of the coming weekend was a welcome one. It had been a long, emotional week.
Charlie met Nick at his usual spot by the gates at the end of the day.
"I'm so glad it's the weekend," Charlie said as he slumped into his boyfriend's waiting arms.
Nick responded so enthusiastically, Charlie's feet left the ground as Nick span him in a small circle, then set him back down on his feet. "Want to go on a date?"
"You do have a crush on me! How embarrassing for you, Nicholas."
"I'm not embarrassed, Charles. Do you want to go on a date?"
Charlie linked his arm around Nick's and they strolled toward the bus stop.
"Hmm… I might have to check my diary, clear my schedule up a bit. If I move some things around I might be able to fit you in. I'm just so busy, you see."
"I understand, I understand," said Nick, playing along. "You're in high demand. You have to make time for all your suitors. Keep up the facade so you don't disappoint them all when I steal you away from them."
Charlie snorted. "The only thing you'll be stealing me away from is the mountain of homework I have to do."
"Ugh! Same," said Nick. "It's gonna end up being a study date, isn't it?"
"Probably. Maybe we can think of something fun to do to reward ourselves after. I have a few ideas that might interest you…"
"Charlie!"
The boys looked around. Julio was waving at them from his car, parked by the side of the road.
"Dad?"
Nick followed Charlie over to the car. Charlie's dad almost never picked him up from school.
"What are you doing here?"
"Picking you up, of course," he said. "Hi, Nick. Get in. Your mum already gave you permission to come home with us. She even dropped off a bag of clothes for you to change into. We're having a barbecue."
"We are?" Charlie's heart plummeted as he climbed into the back seat.
Nick followed, half thrilled to be spending even more time with Charlie, half concerned about how beneficial an unplanned food-based event could be.
Julio didn't seem to catch the shift in Charlie's mood however, and grinned at them both through his mirror. "Here, Charlie. I got you a present. Quick, before your sister gets here and sees I didn't get her anything."
Charlie took the square shaped box carefully. Nick looked over his shoulder. Charlie's face split into a grin.
"It's some fancy film for your camera," said Julio. "There's a specialist shop near where I work. I think I got the right kind. If it doesn't work, I still have the receipt so you can exchange it."
"Thank you so much, dad!"
Julio chuckled. "You're very welcome."
Once Tori joined them, they set off toward home.
The present had only momentarily distracted Charlie from the dread that had rushed through him, knowing how disastrous it had turned out the last time Nick had been at his house.
Nick took Charlie's hand and squeezed it gently. Charlie glanced at him and found the familiar brown eyes looking back at him, knowing exactly what had been going through Charlie's head.
"We'll be okay," Nick whispered.
Charlie forced a smile and nodded. He settled his head on Nick's shoulder and tried to focus on the joy of an unexpected evening in his company.
The black car moved swiftly through the traffic. The driver had had a long day of watching and waiting.
But finally, his plan was coming into fruition.
The threat would be eliminated.
It would be over soon.
The door of Charlie's bedroom clicked shut behind them.
Jane had been in the back garden when they got home, and they had managed to sneak upstairs without anyone bothering them. Julio had left to tend the barbecue and Tori had shut herself in her room.
Nick dumped his school bag beside Charlie's in the corner and took off his blazer.
"Should I get changed in the bathroom?"
"Um…" Charlie paused, mid rifle through his wardrobe, hidden behind the door. "You can change in here. It's fine."
"Are you sure?"
Charlie emerged from the wardrobe with his own change of clothes bundled in his arms. "We've gotten changed in the same room loads of times at school."
"Yeah," said Nick. "But that's different…"
Charlie stopped, about to undo his tie. He looked down, sheepishly. "You can change in the bathroom if you want? Or I can? If you're uncomfortable…"
"No! Charlie, it's not that! I just thought you might be uncomfortable."
Charlie pulled his tie off in one fell swoop and started on his shirt buttons. Nick watched him carefully, and before he could realise he was staring, Charlie smirked and said, "Have I accidentally short-circuited your brain?"
"No, no… I'm fine…" Nick mumbled, flustered as he busied himself with his own buttons.
Neither of them tried to hide how much they peeked at each other while they got changed. Usually, at school, they had to be as discreet as possible, but now they could look at their own leisure.
Considering the warm, sunny weather, Nick's mum had packed him a t-shirt and shorts. Charlie picked out a similar outfit, only to find himself standing in his room, shivering before they had even gone outside. Nick saw him rub his arms anxiously. The cuts were still a little red even though they had mostly healed.
"Maybe you should get a jumper," said Nick. "I'm not sure I can cuddle you constantly to keep you warm."
"Why not?"
But Charlie went back to his wardrobe and pulled out a blue hoodie from the pile. He pulled it on over his head. It fell down over his mid-thigh.
"I was wondering where that went," said Nick. "I think I have a hoodie thief on my hands."
"It's not my fault you left it here." The truth was Charlie did not feel sorry for stealing it in the slightest and he wasn't about to pretend otherwise. "It's a bit useless for me now, though," he said. "I had to wash it twice. I kept getting puke on it."
"What? Why?"
"Once when I was drunk and then when my mum tried to… yeah…"
Nick brushed Charlie's curls softly and kissed his nose. Charlie reached up to smooth his boyfriend's concerned brow with his fingers.
"Anyway, even if it doesn't smell like you any more, it's still big and comfy."
Nick bundled him into his arms and cuddled him tightly. "And you look adorable in it!"
There was a sharp wrap on the door, and then it was being nudged open.
"Door!" Julio yelled.
Nick and Charlie looked up from their cuddle in alarm.
Julio poked his head round the door frame, clearly braced for something much more scandalous. He sighed when he saw them frozen mid-cuddle.
"Dinner's almost ready," said Julio. "Please try to remember the door thing, Charlie. I know it might seem excessive but…"
"It's fine, dad. I'm sorry for forgetting."
"That's okay. Come down as soon as you can, boys. Before Oliver can eat it all."
They listened to Julio's footsteps die down along the hall.
At the reminder of dinner, the weight of the world had appeared on Charlie's shoulders.
"I hate leaving my door open," he murmured. "It doesn't feel safe somehow. Like anything could crawl in here and get me. This is the one place in the house that's mine, you know?"
"I get it, Char. Everyone needs a door they can close. But at least it only applies when I'm here. If anything tries to crawl in, I'll fight it back for you. Although… if it's a spider, you might have to do the honours."
"The sentiment was there until you ruined it." Charlie giggled, but then his face dropped again. Nick could tell he was stealing himself.
"Come on," said Charlie. "Let's go eat."
Oliver was already two burgers in by the time Nick and Charlie stepped out onto the patio. Tori was trying her best to dodge the ketchup-y hands as Oliver waved them about, describing a game he had played with his friends today at school.
At least with a barbecue it was set up like a buffet so Charlie could decide exactly what he wanted to eat and how much. Still, as he and Nick sat down at the table, Charlie could feel the glances Jane was sending him and his sparsely filled plate.
She didn't say anything though. She had barely spoken to him since Wednesday night. When she did say anything, it was clipped and overly polite, as if she was scared he might collapse if she accidentally offended him. It was better than the alternative but it was still a bit depressing.
Charlie tried to concentrate on what Oliver and Tori were saying, rather than thinking about what he was eating.
Nick made sure he wasn't eating too fast, only taking bites of food whenever Charlie did. He was hungry and Julio had made some nice burgers but he would sacrifice enjoying them properly if it made Charlie feel more comfortable.
Gradually though, Charlie's tiny, measured bites fizzled out into nothing. He had ripped his burger into small chunks of bread and meat. He had managed to eat about half of them before Nick noticed Charlie's hand trembling as he picked up another.
Nick watched Charlie drop the chunk quickly back onto the plate before his hands disappeared under the table to curl beneath the sleeves of Nick's hoodie.
"Do you want to go somewhere quieter?" Nick murmured softly.
Charlie flinched very slightly as Nick leaned closer to him, as if he had forgotten he were there.
"I've been having a good day. I don't know why I can't do it." Charlie wiped furiously at his eyes with his sleeve.
"We can finish this in your room if you want."
Charlie nodded miserably. Nick picked up both their plates, but as soon as they got to their feet, Jane looked up from her conversation at the other end of the table.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Beside him, Charlie tensed even more than he had been, folded further in on himself. He was about to slump back down into his chair but Nick stood his ground.
"We were just wondering if we could finish our food in Charlie's room," Nick said as politely as he could. "If that's okay with you, Mrs Spring."
Jane pursed her lips. "I think it would be better for him to stay out here. This is meant to be a family meal, after all."
"Jane, why don't we let them -?"
"Julio, they quite clearly have other intentions for wanting to leave. Charlie is too young to -"
Nick opened his mouth to argue but closed it again when he felt a small tug on his hand. Jane and Julio's debate faded into the background.
"Don't bother," said Charlie. "It's fine. I'm fine. Let's just stay here."
The cold hopelessness in Charlie's voice chilled the anger in Nick's veins.
"Charlie… I don't know what else to do."
"You could go and sit in the den," said Tori.
Nick and Charlie looked up at her in surprise. Jane and Julio did the same. Julio smiled.
"That's a good idea," said Julio. He gave the boys both a nod of assent. "Off you go then."
Nick looked at Charlie questioningly, and was pleased to see him nod enthusiastically. Nick picked up their plates again and followed Charlie off the patio, not back inside but further into the garden.
Charlie walked quickly so neither of them had to listen to the argument that had sprung up between his parents behind them. Charlie had to remember to thank Tori for this later somehow.
"Where are we going?" Nick stage-whispered.
Charlie led him across the grass, toward the back of the garden where a cluster of trees stood. The light from the house did not reach this far so the ground was hidden in shadow.
Charlie seemed to know where he was going though. They came to a clump of tall bushes at the very bottom of the garden. It didn't look like anything special to Nick so he was surprised when Charlie ducked down and crawled through a small gap in the branches.
A moment later, his hands and face re-appeared. He smirked up at Nick's baffled face.
"Here," he said, and took the plates from Nick's hands, leaving Nick free to crawl in after him.
It was a little more of a squeeze for Nick to get through but he found, once he was through, there was more than enough room for them both to stand up straight.
Nick looked around at the space he had found himself in. It was no more than about five metres wide but the bushes and trees had grown in such a way around each other that they had formed a kind of round room amidst then. It was cooler in here, and smelt of that nice woody smell of earth and leaves and tree bark.
"Woah," said Nick. "This is actually pretty cool."
"Tori and I used to play house in here all the time," said Charlie as he took a seat on the dry earth floor. "But I haven't been in here in ages. Olly doesn't really use it as much as we did."
Nick sat down beside him and took his plate back. He loved picturing little Charlie, laughing with his sister, carefree in this wonderful place that just screamed of childhood, fresh air and muddy knees.
"I'm a bit jealous, to be honest." Nick smiled. "I would have loved this place when I was little. I always wanted a den. I mean, David would probably have ruined it for me but still…"
"I would have let you share mine," said Charlie. "If we had known each other back then. I would have kicked out Tori and David in an instant."
Nick laughed. "It feels weird to imagine us as childhood friends. I wonder how long it would have taken us to get together if we'd known each other that long."
"I probably would have realised I was gay way earlier," said Charlie. "I mean, I always kind of knew but… six-year-old Charlie would have been obsessed with seven-year-old Nick. He would have been his world." Charlie smiled across at him. All of the tension and fear had vanished. "Just like fifteen-year-old Charlie and sixteen-year-old Nick."
"I would rather have waited than to have never met you at all," said Nick, breathless.
Their heads had naturally bowed toward each other as they always did. Charlie felt the warm tickle of Nick's breath against his cheek and allowed himself to get lost in those brown eyes.
"I love you so much, Charlie."
"I love you, Nick," Charlie breathed.
They both discarded their empty plates to one side and brought their hands up to caress each other's faces as they kissed. Nick's hands tangled themselves in Charlie's hair as Charlie circled his arms around Nick's neck. He clung to him, melting against him, wishing for there to be no distance between them at all.
Then Charlie felt himself being lowered down onto the earth and Nick was leaning over him. Nick abandoned Charlie's lips to devour his neck. Charlie stifled his cries in his sleeve, knowing his family were not as far away as they felt.
Nick had one knee between Charlie's legs and Charlie wanted nothing more than to grind himself against it but he knew if he did, he would not be able to stop. And this was neither the time nor the place.
A particularly loud whine escaped Charlie's throat, despite the fabric pressed against his mouth. Nick looked up from his ministrations in concern.
"Charlie?"
"Nick…"
"What is it, love?"
Nick moved his knee away and some of the blood started to rush back toward Charlie's brain.
"We should stop… before I do something stupid…"
Nick panted a kiss on the mark he had just made on Charlie's neck. "Like what?"
"Like begging you to take me right here and now, consequences be damned."
At Nick's look of astonishment, Charlie's nervous laugh got caught in his throat.
"Your entire family is literally just over there."
"Trust me, I am very aware of that fact."
Nick rolled onto his side so that he lay on the ground beside Charlie. He curled himself around Charlie's side, resting his ruffled head over Charlie's heart. Charlie's hand automatically went to run his fingers through his hair.
"That doesn't mean I don't want you, Charlie, because I very much do. You're not the only one who was on the verge of doing something stupid."
"This place is very romantic," said Charlie. "Maybe it's doing something to our brains."
"It wasn't my brain that was about to do something stupid, that's for sure."
Charlie giggled nervously again. He took a deep breath and then became very quiet for a moment.
"It's going to happen soon," Charlie breathed. "I can feel it."
"Me too. I want you so badly it's actually kind of scary."
"Oh, I am absolutely terrified… Not of you!" For Nick had lifted his head in alarm. "Never of you, Nick. It's just… I always wondered what my first time would be like, you know? How amazing or terrible or awkward it would be. Whether he would be gentle or not. Whether he would love me or not."
Nick had propped his chin up to listen intently to every word Charlie spoke. Charlie then looked him in the eye so fixedly, Nick's heart skipped several beats.
"But now I know the answer to almost all of those things and I'm still scared. I never thought it would be so intense."
"I think it's so intense because of how much we matter to each other," said Nick. "You matter to me so much, Char. My number one fear is accidentally causing you harm. But here we are, yearning to put ourselves in such a position where I could hurt you, like, irreversibly."
"None of this is reversible, Nick, but none of this could hurt."
"Yeah… I know that. But it still worries me. What if I make a mistake? What if I do something wrong?"
"Then you won't be alone because I won't know what the hell I'm doing either."
"You've had a lot longer to get used to the idea than I have… I've done some research but -"
"Ooh!" Charlie smirked. "What kind of research?"
Nick rolled onto his back as Charlie poked him in the side. "Tell me! Tell me!" Charlie laughed and rolled onto his stomach to continue his playful onslaught. "Have you been watching porn, Nicholas?"
"Haha! Hey! Get off me!"
Charlie stopped his poking and propped his head up on his hands to gaze teasingly at Nick's red face. Nick smirked.
"Maybe…"
"Was it very informative for you?"
"Not really - what was that?"
A loud barking suddenly came from quite close by.
"Oh, that's probably just next door's dog," said Charlie. "He's a rottweiler but he's a sweetheart."
But Charlie frowned as the barking got louder, wilder. He had never heard any dog bark like that.
Then a tremendous crack split the air and the barking stopped.
Nick and Charlie's eyes met, wide in shock and fear.
That would not have been a noise they were too familiar with before but now, they knew it intimately from their nightmares and flashbacks.
They got to their feet in an instant. Nick led Charlie back through the gap in the bushes, and they hurried across the garden toward the patio.
Charlie clung to Nick's hand as they found the patio table abandoned and the backdoor standing wide open.
Through the bright kitchen, into the hall. They found Tori standing on the stairs with Oliver, her arms wrapped around him. The little boy was trying to get free but she held him fast.
"What's happening?" Oliver cried. "I wanna see!"
The front door was open and the light from inside was spilling out onto the front garden, illuminating Jane and Julio who were standing on the pavement. Julio was bent over something on the ground.
Before Nick could tell him to wait, Charlie was already running out the door and down the path. Nick followed, dread filling his stomach. Charlie pushed the gate open and it clattered and Jane looked up to see them.
"No, Charlie. Get inside. I'm not being funny, Charlie."
"Mum, what's going on? What happened?"
Jane reached out to usher Charlie back but he slipped between her arms and made it to his dad's side.
Nick wished he had stopped him himself when he saw what lay at Julio's feet.
The poor dog was sprawled out, kind dark eyes empty and unmoving. There was so much blood.
Nick pulled Charlie toward him instinctively. Charlie allowed himself to be folded into his boyfriend's chest and buried his face there, trying not to be sick.
Julio clicked off his phone.
"I called Helen. She should be here soon. Apparently, she was already nearby." He looked very pale beneath his beard and his eyes were more serious than Nick had ever seen. "You two need to get in the house right now. It's not safe out here."
"Come on," Nick murmured and pulled Charlie back across the front garden to the open door where Tori was standing.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?"
"Someone shot Reggie," said Charlie.
"What?" Tori gasped. "Why - why would someone do that?"
"I dunno," Charlie lied. "Where's Oliver?"
"He's upstairs. I gave him my phone to distract him." Tori sunk onto the bench by the door. "God. Is he really dead, Charlie?"
Nick and Charlie sat down on the stairs. "Yeah. Definitely dead."
Charlie's hands were trembling. Nick felt nauseous.
Tori looked from one distressed face to the other.
"Something's been going on, hasn't it? Something big. Don't try to lie to me. I can tell when it's more than just mum being mum. Why has someone shot Reggie, Charlie?"
At that moment, a police car pulled up outside the house and Helen got out of it.
"I'll tell you later, Tori. I promise I will. Just wait here for now, okay? Promise me to wait here and I'll tell you everything."
There was such an intensity in her brother's voice that Tori did what he said.
He and Nick hurried back to where Jane and Julio were standing on the pavement with Helen. The detective looked harried, her hair was a lot less tidy than usual. She looked like she'd been running from, or after, something…
"I'm so sorry," she panted. "I almost had him but he got away. I was so close. He's been trailing you all day."
She was looking at Nick.
"What?" Jane gasped. "Who are you -?"
"She's talking about the shooter, mum."
"What are you -? Charlie, we told you two to get inside -"
"You saw the note Nick got, mum…"
"Yes!" Jane snapped. "Which is why I was so against this barbecue idea, Julio!"
"Jane, this is not the time to get into that. This is more than just some stupid teenage romance drama. Our son could be in actual danger!"
"He'd be in a lot less danger if he'd actually told us the truth in the first place!"
"I would never have sacrificed Nick to save myself! I already told you that!"
"Then you're more of an idiot than I thought, Charlie!"
"Don't talk to him like that!"
"I'll talk to my own son how I like, thank you very -!"
"Enough!"
Everyone looked around to stare at Helen. Her professional sternness quelled their rage very efficiently.
"You're right," she said. "Both of these boys are in more danger now than I'd have hoped to let happen. I've failed you tonight, boys, and I'm sorry about that. I will find that man. In the meantime, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you are both as safe from him as you can be. It's going to take cooperation on all of our parts, including your parents. This has all been highly traumatic for both Nick and Charlie. Now, I've come to trust that these boys will be there for each other, but they are still technically children. They need support from their parents too. I hope you both will be able to do that for them, even if you can't understand them."
Julio looked very guilty and heartbroken. Jane looked mortified, painfully holding her tongue.
Helen picked up her phone and made a call.
"Officer Kane? The man from the cabin… I think he just tried to kill my witnesses. Please call me back. They're going to need protection."
This fic has had a spike in views lately and I'd just like to thank all of you for that! It really makes my day whenever I see people enjoying my work :)
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