14. Falling
"It was him. In a black car. The windows were dark but one was open and I saw him."
"Did he see you?" Dawson demanded.
She had appeared from nowhere with alarming speed and was now marching Nick out from behind the tree and toward the school gates.
"No. I was too far away. He can't have. Where are we going?"
"I've called Helen. She's sending her team to search for the man you saw, but in the meantime, I need to take you home."
"What? Why?"
"It's too dangerous here. If something were to happen, you'd be putting the rest of the students in danger too. We can control the environment easier in your own home. Where do you think you're going?"
Nick had turned to go back the other way, toward the Science block. He knew Charlie had Physics last thing on a Monday - but Dawson grabbed him firmly by the arm and pulled him toward the car.
"Please let me go and get Charlie too."
"You know I can't do that. You're my priority I'm afraid."
Nick yanked his arm from her grasp. "Well, he's mine."
He went to step around her but, even though she was a lot shorter than him, she was surprisingly intimidating.
"I will force you into this car if you don't cooperate, but I'd rather not have to."
Nick stepped away from her and his back hit the car door. "Please. It's not fair -"
Dawson was also surprisingly strong. Nick found himself being pushed into the front seat of the car. She slammed the door shut and slipped into the driver's seat seconds later, started the engine and pulled away from the curb.
"This is for your own safety. Charlie wouldn't want you to put yourself in any unnecessary danger."
But Nick was barely listening. His hand went immediately to his pocket and withdrew his new phone. He began to punch the numbers scrawled lovingly across his hand into the old-fashioned keypad.
"Um, excuse me," Dawson snapped. "You can't be using that for anything other than emergencies."
"This is an emergency."
Nick listened desperately as Charlie's phone rang.
"Give me that!"
"No!" Nick dodged out of the way of Dawson's hand. He didn't care about her stupid rules right now. He would not abandon Charlie like Helen had.
But then the ringing stopped, there was a beep and the automated sound of Charlie's voicemail made Nick drop his hand in defeat. He exhaled shakily and shoved the phone back into his pocket.
"You need to know that Charlie is not the one in danger here. You are. I'm here to protect you, but I can't do that if you insist on disregarding the rules that have been set in place."
Nick gritted his teeth and screwed his eyes shut. He needed to calm down. If he didn't, he might end up doing something stupid. Luckily, Dawson didn't say another word to him all the way home.
When they pulled up outside the house, Nick got out of the car quickly so that Dawson wouldn't do it for him. He needed to regain at least a modicum of control or he'd snap.
All he wanted to do was shut himself in his room and scream but as soon as he stepped through the front door, Dawson ushered him into the living room.
Helen was there, sitting across from his mum. They had been talking quietly but intensely before they came in but looked up once they entered.
"Oh, Nicky, there you are," said Sarah, standing. "Thank goodness."
Nick allowed his mum to pull him into a hug but only patted her on the back briefly. "Mum - could you call the Springs? Tell them to pick Charlie up from school -"
"For goodness sake…" Dawson murmured.
"That will be all, thank you, Officer Dawson," said Helen sharply.
Dawson took one look at Helen's unamused expression and turned and walked back out of the house.
"Will you take a seat, please, Nick?" Helen asked patiently. "Please try to calm down."
Nick opened his mouth to retort but his mum squeezed his arm gently and gave him a look. He took a deep breath and sank onto the sofa beside his mum.
"It's not fair…" he breathed.
"I know, baby," said Sarah, rubbing his back. He wished she would stop but couldn't find the energy to protest.
"I have to ask you, Nick," said Helen. "You haven't told anyone else about your witness protection, have you?"
"No. Only Charlie knows. And his family."
"Good. It's very important that information stays entirely confidential."
"Don't worry, we're good at keeping secrets," Nick said, jaw tight.
Nick could feel his mum shift nervously beside him. She had thankfully removed her hand from his back.
"Are you sure there's no way you can get Charlie from school too?" Sarah asked.
Helen shook her head minutely. "Charlie is much safer there, going about his day as normal. He is safer not getting involved as much as possible."
A vague ringing had filled Nick's ears. His hands clenched into fists on his lap. He swallowed back the anger and the guilt and the fear and focused on the inky blue numbers on the back of his hand.
"This could all be over very soon though, thanks to you, Nick. My team is out tracking vehicles which fit your description as we speak. I have also planned for a specialist sketch artist to visit you in the morning. She'll be able to work with you to put together a more concrete idea of what this man looks like. You'll be able to have the morning off school to speak with her."
Helen smiled, as if expecting this to sound like a massive treat.
Nick nodded briefly. He focused on the adorable way Charlie wrote his sevens, with the silly little line across them…
It wasn't enough.
As Helen and Sarah continued to speak, Nick felt like he was sliding away from the conversation, away from the room, away from himself. The blue numbers in front of him swam before his eyes. He distantly realised he was crying. He could hear his own breaths in his head like they belonged to someone else.
He felt himself sink further back into the sofa cushions.
Is this what Charlie had been talking about before? It certainly felt as he had described. As if Nick was no longer really there.
The thought of Charlie snapped him back to the present.
He blinked. At some point Nick had laid down on the sofa and his mum was now kneeling beside him on the carpet. Helen had gone.
Sarah was speaking softly but her voice was muffled, like Nick was under water.
After a moment of Nick merely watching her distantly, she got up and walked out of the room. Nick closed his eyes against the light and the noise and the movement, all of which were making his head hurt.
What felt like a second later, Sarah returned with a large mug of tea and placed it on the coffee table for him.
"Oh, baby, this is so hard for you to accept, isn't it?"
Nick's bottom lip trembled but he fought the tears welling in his eyes. He nodded miserably. "It - it goes against everything - everything I - I can't do this - it's not fair…"
"Hey, hey, don't do that, baby." Sarah reached out to remove Nick's hands from where they had been tugging roughly at his hair. He hadn't even realised he was doing it. "You'll hurt yourself. Or pull out all your hair. Either way, I don't think Charlie would approve."
Nick lowered his hands. He attempted a smile but it turned out more of a grimace.
"I made you some tea. Is there anything else I can get for you, sweetheart?"
"In my room. There's a hoodie. On my bed." Nick swiped at the drying tears on his cheeks. "It's blue."
"Of course, dear."
Once Sarah had returned, Nick chucked his blazer onto the floor and replaced it with the hoodie. He was about to roll over on the sofa and not get up for many, many hours when his mum nudged his arm. He turned to look up at her grumpily. She was prodding the new shit phone at him, having retrieved it from the fallen blazer in it's heap on the floor.
"Thanks," he grumbled and rolled back over.
He managed to enter the numbers without looking at his hand this time. Somehow, he had memorised them.
He listened to Charlie's phone as it rang and rang. But once again, no one picked up.
Charlie spent the whole bus ride home in a constant state of jittery nerves. He could feel Tori's glances alternating between annoyance and concern but she didn't question him. His hands were balled into fists in his pockets, one clutching his phone, but neither of them steady.
The second the bus stopped at their usual stop, Charlie leapt to his feet and jumped down onto the pavement before Tori even stood up. Charlie started in the opposite direction and Tori hurried after him.
"What are you doing? You're not allowed anywhere but school and home, remember?"
"That was the weekend. They never said anything about after that." Tori went to grab Charlie's arm but he only quickened his pace. "Anyway, I don't care. Something's happened. I need to be with Nick."
"But mum -"
"I don't care!"
Charlie broke into a sprint, leaving his sister gaping after him as he sped round the corner.
He had seen the missed calls as soon as the bell rang for the end of the day. He had tried to ring back but it wouldn't go through. The most useless phone in the history of phones was apparently blocked from receiving unregistered calls.
Why would Nick be trying to call him in the middle of a lesson anyway?
Obviously, something had happened. Charlie didn't know how serious it was but couldn't help his mind from wandering over to the absolute worst possible scenario and back again several times.
Charlie knew the route to River Crescent so well now he could do it in his sleep. What was less familiar was the car parked outside the Nelsons' house.
He slowed down to a walk as he approached, not wanting to seem too suspicious. Surely, if this new bodyguard lady was doing her job properly, he would not be able to just enter the house as easily as he usually could.
It had better be near fucking impossible, Charlie thought.
As he passed the car, he kept his head down. He turned casually onto the front path. He made it to the front door and knocked before he heard the car door open behind him. The woman, whom he assumed was Dawson, strode toward him. Despite her short stature, she was very intimidating.
Charlie readied himself to stand his ground but then Sarah Nelson answered the door.
"Thank goodness." Sarah beamed at the sight of him. She looked very tired. "Charlie. Get in, quickly. I'll deal with her. He's in the living room."
"Thank you so much."
Sarah ushered Charlie over the threshold, then stepped outside, closing the door behind her. The woman was a saint.
Without dropping his bag or removing his shoes, Charlie strode across the hall, right into the living room. The sight which greeted him made him stop in his tracks - a tiny gasp escaped his lips.
Nick was lying on the sofa, curled up in the hoodie he had returned to him, apparently fast asleep.
Charlie was suddenly entirely entranced. His feet moved him forward and then he crouched down beside the sofa to sit cross-legged on the carpet to watch his world sleep. He wanted to smooth away the tension in Nick's forehead but didn't want to risk waking him.
Whatever had happened had obviously been exhausting but Nick was here. He was breathing and he was safe. He looked very comfy to be honest.
Charlie still wished he'd been able to be there to help though, with whatever it had been.
Without thinking, Charlie brought a hand up to brush the soft blond fringe.
He almost jumped out of his skin.
The second his hand touched hair, Nick's eyes flew open, and suddenly, Charlie realised his boyfriend had not been asleep at all.
"Jesus Christ! Oh my God!"
"Charlie?"
"I thought you were asleep!"
"Charlie, oh my God! I can't believe you're here!"
Then Charlie was crushed into Nick's embrace. He let out a small chuckle but then Nick hugged him tighter and he realised just how stressed Nick had been.
Charlie let Nick pull him onto his lap and stroked his back as Nick buried his head against Charlie's shoulder.
"They wouldn't let me get to you. I kept trying but they wouldn't let me."
"What a bunch of idiots, honestly," said Charlie, sympathetically. "Don't they realise trying to keep us apart is, like, useless?"
"Mmph."
"What happened anyway? Why did they send you home?"
Nick drew his head up from Charlie's shoulder. "I saw him, Char."
Charlie's heart did a horrible little flip.
"He drove right past Truham while I was walking to fifth period. I saw him through the car window."
A flood of fear ran through Charlie, stronger than previously. This was proof that the shooter was still out there. It wasn't just some terrifying hypothetical. Nick had seen him.
"I called Dawson but she wouldn't let me get to you."
Nick's hands came to rest, half tangled in Charlie's hair.
"I'm glad she got you out of there." Charlie stroked Nick's cheek. "I hope you didn't fight her too much. She's just trying to keep you safe."
"Ugh! If one more person tells me that…"
"I know it's frustrating but… he's not looking for me, remember. He thinks I'm dead."
"I know that's what everyone's assuming but no one is a hundred percent sure, are they? I can't help but think they've made a horrible decision that's just going to wind up getting you actually dead. And I hate that I can't do anything about it."
"It goes against all your instincts, doesn't it? To let yourself come first for once." Charlie watched Nick nod miserably. "I understand that. I would be exactly the same if our situations were reversed. I would be absolutely pissed. But we're just going to have to be good boys and wait it out like they want, okay?"
"Why do you always have to be so logical?" Nick kissed Charlie's forehead.
"One of us has got to be." Charlie whispered against Nick's mouth as he brought him in for a proper kiss. Nick sighed into it, hands tangling back among Charlie's curls.
"I still feel better now you're here. I was kind of freaking out before."
"Good job I got here as fast as I could then."
"How did you get in here anyway?" Nick asked. "I'm surprised Dawson let you get passed."
Charlie smirked. "Your mum basically smuggled me in. But I was willing to fight if I had to… I was really worried when I saw your missed calls. I knew something must have happened, but when I tried to call you back it wouldn't work. That phone they gave you truly is a piece of crap."
"Right? And I think I might have pissed Dawson off."
"How?"
"I may have mentioned you one too many times." Nick sighed. "I'm not going to stop complaining about it though. I won't back down, I swear."
"I thought we just agreed to be good boys?"
"I can be good and stand up for my boyfriend at the same time, can't I?"
Charlie grinned bashfully. "I guess. You've done it before."
"And I always will, Char." Nick kissed him again, lighter this time. When he drew away, he looked wistfully amused. "I wish they had assigned you to be my bodyguard. We could have been each others'."
"We kind of already are." Charlie laughed. "And I have more incentive to keep you safe than Dawson, even if she is getting paid. Who else is gonna agree to date me?"
"Maybe someone who doesn't mind being stared at creepily when they're just trying to have a nice lie down on the sofa."
"Hey!" Charlie shoved him playfully. "I was not being creepy! I was being loving! And besides, you got me back almost immediately by scaring the shit out of me."
Nick laughed and ruffled Charlie's hair. "I'm sorry, love, but you were kind of leering at me."
"I was not leering! I was admiring…"
"No, no, it's fine. Leer away. You're allowed."
Charlie leant in to kiss Nick again, but out of the corner of his eye, just before he closed them, he saw someone appear in the living room doorway.
Charlie pulled away and Nick looked momentarily disappointed until Sarah walked in and he flushed very red. Nick suddenly became very aware of Charlie's position on his lap. Charlie was practically straddling him, knees on either side of Nick's hips. Nick's hands were steadying him, clasped far too close to Charlie's bum for Sarah to be present for.
Nick dropped his hands. Charlie moved aside to sit beside him on the sofa. He was determined not to meet Sarah's eye but Nick saw his mum smile.
"I'm sorry," Charlie murmured.
Nick thought he must have misheard but Sarah looked puzzled too.
"What on earth could you have to be sorry about?"
"Char, what are you talking about?"
Charlie's eyes flicked between Nick and his mum. Nick was saddened to see there were tears glistening in them.
"I don't know," Charlie whispered. He shivered slightly, and Nick wrapped an arm around him. They had been smiling and joking no more than a minute ago. What had changed?
Sarah perched on the edge of the armchair and looked imploringly at Charlie. "Is it because I walked in on you kissing? You don't have to apologise for that, Charlie."
Charlie shook his head. "I don't know. I guess I just suddenly felt guilty… f-for all of this…"
"None of this is your fault, Char. How could it be?"
"I don't know. I just… that's just how I feel… My brain doesn't make much sense sometimes."
"You've been made to feel at fault for a lot of things that you shouldn't have been, by people who you were meant to trust," said Sarah. "It's no wonder your brain defaults to blaming yourself, even when you can't explain exactly what for or why. It must be exhausting."
"Yeah…" Charlie let his head fall onto Nick's shoulder. "I hate it."
"Well," said Sarah. "I think I might have some news that'll cheer you up."
Nick looked up from the boy at his side to his mum across the room.
"When I was talking to Dawson just now, I managed to convince her to let Charlie stay the night. You have permission from both Dawson and your mum, Charlie. Jane's only request was that you slept in the guest bedroom."
Sarah chuckled at the matching expressions of disbelief.
"I told her you would. But… I know that's never going to happen, so what Jane doesn't know won't hurt her." Nick and Charlie grinned. "As long as you're sensible and safe, which I know you both will be."
"Mum! Thank you so much!"
"Thank you, Mrs - Sarah!"
"How did you convince her?" Nick demanded. "I couldn't get her to shift all day!"
Sarah smirked. "I have my ways… You came home in such a state. I know these restrictions are supposedly for the best, but perhaps not the best for your mental health. After all, I know you best. I saw you shut down, Nick, and that scares me."
Nick felt Charlie flinch beside him. Charlie glanced at him in concern.
"What doesn't scare me," Sarah continued. "Is what it took to bring him back. Or rather, who it took. Thank you, Charlie."
Charlie forced a smile but Nick could feel him watching him carefully.
Nick hadn't realised how obvious his little breakdown had been. He hadn't considered how he might tell Charlie about this. He didn't want to give him anything else to worry about.
"One more thing," said Sarah. "Dawson told me to remind you that she's going on her break at nine until five tomorrow morning. Tony will replace her for the night shift, so if you call her, don't be surprised if it's him who answers. Not that you should need to…"
"Right," Nick muttered. "Mum? Do we have pizza?"
Sarah smiled. "I think that's a good idea. I'll put the oven on. You boys relax. Try to think about something else for a bit, yeah?"
As soon as Sarah had left the room again, Charlie turned his worried eyes on Nick. Nick swallowed guiltily.
"What did she mean, she saw you shut down?"
Nick took a deep breath and looked into his boyfriend's face. The sight comforted him enough to know he should and could tell him these kinds of things.
"I dunno if I… shut down. I think I just got really overwhelmed with everything. I was so angry and frustrated and scared and it all kind of got too much and then… it was like I wasn't really here for a bit. Like I checked out. It was only for about a minute I think."
Charlie's eyes widened. "Oh, Nick…"
"Is that what happened to you? That time when you told me how you felt like you stopped existing for a bit?"
"Sounds like it. Nick, I'm so sorry… It really sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess. But it was sort of nice not to think or feel for a while, even if everything leading up to it and after was a horrible mess."
"Huh…" Charlie frowned. "It usually makes me feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm not in control. Hopeless. I'm glad it's not like that for you."
"Usually? I thought it was just that one time. How often does that happen to you?"
Charlie shrugged nonchalantly. "Not that often. Less than five times in my life, ever. I promise. Hey, was that what was happening when I came in here? When I thought you were sleeping?"
"I think so. It was the tail end of it anyway. When you touched my hair… I think that's what pulled me the rest of the way out of it."
Nick smiled softly at the look on Charlie's face as he brushed aside the hair in question.
"I do like it when you touch my hair," Nick whispered.
"Maybe we should go upstairs and I can do it some more? Properly this time. Come on, we still have like half an hour before the pizzas are done. Think of anything better to pass the time?"
"Never."
Half an hour, and a little more than some hair touching later, Nick and Charlie curled up on Nick's bed, laptop propped in front of them, watching silly YouTube videos.
Sarah had let them take their pizza upstairs to eat, and Nick had once again tried to match Charlie's eating speed, no matter how hungry he was.
Charlie wasn't really concentrating on what he was eating, nor the screen in front of them. He couldn't stop glancing out the window. It was open slightly, letting a cool breeze in. Charlie was hyper-aware of the danger out there in the darkening streets. He wondered where the shooter was now. Whether he knew Nick had seen him. Whether the shooter even cared enough to do something about it.
Charlie shivered, set his plate down and snuggled in closer. Nick deposited his own empty plate on top of Charlie's and kissed his head. Nick tried to focus on the videos they would usually be giggling at by now, but neither of them seemed to be in the correct head space.
Nick shut the laptop with a sigh. Charlie blinked up at him in surprise.
"Sorry," said Nick. "I thought you weren't watching…"
"Oh, I wasn't. Not really. Sorry…"
Nick sighed again and chucked the laptop aside.
"So much for thinking about something else," said Charlie, glancing once again at the window. "I can't help wondering where the shooter is now. Like, what is he planning?"
"Hm. I wonder if they've found any more leads. Helen said her team went out to look right after I called Dawson but it doesn't seem like they're going to bother to tell us if they find something."
Charlie eyed the new shit phone on the bedside table and picked it up. Nick watched him fiddle with it curiously, pressed various buttons, pulled at the plastic backing.
"What are you looking for? I'm not sure even you're smart enough to hack that thing."
Charlie huffed a laugh. "I'm not smart enough to hack anything. I was just wondering… do you think it's bugged?"
Nick looked stricken, and Charlie laughed again. He hadn't thought of that.
"Oh my God, do you think it is? What have we been saying in front of it all day?"
Nick tried to wrack his mind for the conversations they'd had that day. How many private discussions had they had? At least Charlie found the idea amusing.
"They'd probably want to hear if you were being attacked," Charlie reasoned. "Do you think Dawson is out there listening to everything we're saying?"
"If she is, then she can fuck off right now," Nick said loudly, grabbing the phone.
Charlie held Nick's hand steady so he could speak directly into the phone. "Oi, you! Stop spying on my boyfriend and get back to guarding him! If he is harmed on your watch, I will have to seek revenge in the most egregious of ways and trust me, you won't like it. Okay. That's all. Lots of love!"
Nick laughed as he wrestled the phone out of Charlie's hands and chucked it aside.
"You are such a dork!"
Charlie giggled too. Nick tackled him to the bed, pinned him down to catch his giggles in his mouth. Charlie licked his way inside, spurred on by the breathy moans mingling between them.
"You taste like pizza," Nick whispered through the delirium.
"I wonder why…"
A while later, they both tasted of toothpaste.
The lights were out and the curtains were drawn, shutting out the constant reminded of the darkness beyond.
It was almost midnight now. Dawson would have been replaced by Tony several hours ago, Nick remembered as he lay awake. Somehow this wasn't a comforting thought. He may not like Dawson all that much but Tony hadn't exactly exuded confidence when they had met before.
He would have thought being snuggled up under the covers like this, with Charlie wrapped up against him, that Nick would feel as safe and secure as he could be, but for whatever reason, Nick was restless.
Nick rolled over onto his side, trying to avoid jostling Charlie as much as possible. Charlie shifted beside him anyway and turned over so that they were lying nose to nose.
"Sorry," Nick breathed.
"S'okay," Charlie whispered back sleepily. "Can you not sleep?"
"Not really. Don't let me keep you up though. I didn't mean to wake you -"
"Hey, shush. What's the matter?"
Nick focused on the slender hand Charlie had placed over his chest, over his heart. "I'm scared to fall asleep."
Charlie frowned. "I thought your nightmares had stopped."
"So did I. They started up again on Friday night."
"Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make them stop."
"Charlie," Nick chuckled a little. "You are literally the only thing that makes them stop. I've never had one while you've been sleeping beside me."
Nick kissed the blush that appeared in Charlie's cheeks.
"So why do you think tonight will be any different?" Charlie asked.
"I dunno… I'm just… scared…"
Charlie brushed his hand through Nick's hair, then swept his hand tenderly over Nick's cheekbone and back again and watched Nick's eyes close in contentment.
"I'm worried about the sketch artist tomorrow."
"Hm?"
Nick opened his eyes. "Oh yeah. I forgot to say. Helen said she's arranged for some specialist to come here tomorrow so I can describe the man I saw…"
"Oh," said Charlie. "But that's good news, isn't it? Why are you so worried?"
Nick took a deep, slow breath. "I don't even know if I remember what he looks like. Properly, I mean. I've only ever seen his face clearly for like a few seconds in real life." His words came out as no more than a breathy whisper, as if he were voicing something that had been troubling him for a while for the first time. "Most of my memories of him are from my nightmares - and he doesn't even show up in all of them. That man I saw earlier could have been anyone."
His brown eyes glinted fearfully in the darkness. Charlie continued to stroke his hair.
"But in that moment, when you saw him, did you have any doubt that it was him?"
"No… but I didn't even think. I just panicked."
"Then I think it must have been him," Charlie said simply. "Not that that's any comfort really… but I trust your instincts, Nick. You did the right thing. Like you always do."
Nick was still watching him, worry lining his face.
"Would you feel better if I stayed with you tomorrow? When the sketch artist comes?"
"Would you even be allowed? I've had to take the morning off school."
Charlie wrapped Nick in his arms and pulled him closer, cradling his head against his chest. "I don't care if I'm allowed or not. I'm staying, Nick."
"What if your mum grounds you again? Or takes away your phone?"
Charlie rested his cheek against Nick's hair. "Just let her try." His sudden rush of fierce protectiveness had given him a sense of clarity. "My boyfriend needs me. And I need him."
Nick's head popped up from Charlie's chest, his hair bounced adorably as he moved. Charlie felt it tickle his chin.
"I love you," Nick whispered.
Charlie kissed him, slow but firm. "I love you, too."
"Goodnight, my love."
Nick buried his head back where it had been, pressed over Charlie's heart. Charlie drew his arms securely around his boyfriend's shoulders and rested his head on his.
"If you have a nightmare, I'll be here to wake you up, okay?"
Nick nodded sleepily.
"Goodnight."
Charlie blinked blearily against the sunlight streaming through the gap between the curtains.
He was lying on his stomach, at the very edge of Nick's bed, left arm dangling over the side. The duvet had been kicked off at some point but Charlie was still very comfortable and very warm.
His right side in particular.
If it had been anyone else breathing against his ear like that Charlie would have taken issue but… He glanced carefully behind him and smiled fondly. He then became very aware of the warm hand pressed against his bare skin, under his borrowed t-shirt.
Charlie's breath hitched and Nick woke up slowly.
Something feather-soft tickled Nick's cheek. His left hand was very warm. He moved it, blindly stroking the smooth skin…
Nick blinked his eyes open and quickly worked out that the thing tickling his cheek was Charlie's hair. Charlie was lying on his stomach, facing away from him. Nick realised that the smooth skin he had been caressing was the base of Charlie's spine.
He withdrew his hand immediately and rolled away, horrified at himself. Charlie rolled onto his back and Nick was relieved to see he was smiling.
"Morning…" he said mischievously, cheeks flushed.
Nick buried his face in his hands, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I am so sorry! God, you must think I'm such a - a -"
"A horny teenage boy who can't keep his hands to himself?"
Nick went bright red. "Yeah. That."
Charlie giggled. "Don't worry. It was a bit of a surprise to wake up to -"
"Me feeling you up?"
"Yeah… but… I liked it." Charlie smirked at Nick's raised eyebrows. He cuddled up to Nick's side and kissed his shoulder. "And it makes up for you hogging the bed and nearly pushing me out!"
Nick groaned. "God, I am the worst boyfriend ever! I am so sorry!"
"Stop that s-word usage at once, please," said Charlie. "It's far too early in the morning for that."
Nick glanced at the clock. It wasn't even seven o'clock yet, but somehow, he felt wide awake. The alarm was still set for school but he knew neither of them were going until later so he reached over to turn it off.
"What time is the sketch artist coming?" Charlie asked.
"I dunno," Nick realised. "Helen just said 'in the morning'."
"Well, that's helpful of her," said Charlie sarcastically. "Really helping you out there."
"Do you think the sketch artist would be willing to work from my desk? That way we wouldn't have to get out of bed."
"Ew, no," said Charlie. "I need a shower. Regular civilians can't see me like this. I have a reputation to uphold."
Nick laughed. "What reputation? Of being a gay nerd?"
"Err, of being a cute gay nerd, obviously."
"Okay, that's true. But I wouldn't call that a reputation, more like a… natural state of being."
Nick poked Charlie's dimples affectionately.
"Maybe so, but I still need a shower." Charlie sat up. "Oh, um… and I'm going to need to borrow some clothes again, if that's okay?" Nick's face brightened considerably. "What am I saying? That's like your favourite thing, isn't it?"
"I'm not even going to pretend it isn't…"
Nick bounded up from the bed and made for his wardrobe. He rifled through his clothes, enthusiastically picking out suitable garments that would fit Charlie well enough that they wouldn't fall off but still big enough that it was clear he was wearing Nick's clothes.
Charlie stood, waiting patiently, until Nick bundled his careful selection into his arms and sent him on his way to the bathroom.
Two showers later, feeling surprisingly refreshed and chipper, Nick and Charlie made their way downstairs. Nick couldn't help but watch his boyfriend walk in front of him. He didn't think he would ever get tired of seeing Charlie in his clothes.
Nellie greeted them happily as they entered the kitchen.
"Morning, Nellie. Are you hungry? I bet you are!"
Nick always made sure Nellie was fed first in the mornings. It at least got her distracted and out from under their feet while they made their own breakfast.
As Charlie filled the toaster and Nick took out some plates, it all felt very domestic. Charlie felt kind of giddy at how well he had come to know the Nelsons' kitchen. He didn't even need to think about where the bread was kept. He knew which shelf in the fridge to find the jam. Nick felt it too. Charlie could see it in the glances they kept sharing.
Charlie thought he would die happy if this was what every morning looked like for the rest of his life.
The kitchen table was bathed in soft morning light. The boys ate their toast in comfortable quietude, both basking in the cosy brightness. It was so perfect, it was hard to imagine anything could be sad or scary or painful. Hard to remember anything other than each other, warm toast and the morning sunrise.
There was an eager dog who wanted to be remembered though.
Nellie finished her breakfast first and scampered over to sit at Nick's feet, tail wagging restlessly.
"You're going to have to wait for mum to wake up I'm afraid, Nel," said Nick.
"Boof!" said Nellie, affronted. She added a pitiful whine.
"I know, it's the worst. But you're just going to have to wait."
Nellie whined again and plodded around the table. She lay her head on Charlie's lap, big brown eyes gazing sadly up at him.
"Maybe we could ask Dawson if we can go for a quick walk?"
"Boof!"
"I dunno, Char. I don't think she'll agree."
"Just the park and back?" said Charlie. "Surely she isn't going to stop you from walking your own dog. She can come with us if she wants."
Nellie panted excitedly, looking from Charlie to Nick and back again, waiting for the verdict.
Nick sighed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask. And I don't think this one could wait for mum anyway."
Charlie beamed. Nellie bounded happily about in celebration as Charlie got to his feet.
"I just remembered," he said. "I have my camera in my bag. We can take it with us. I'll go get it! Hang on!"
Nick watched Charlie go, enthralled by his genuine excitement and enthusiasm. Nick cleared away their plates, grinned at the sight of Charlie's empty one, and went into the hall to fetch Nellie's lead.
Charlie returned as Nick was doing up his shoes. He was clutching his camera and the white converse from his PE kit. He sat down beside Nick to put them on.
"Hey, do you want to borrow a jacket?"
Charlie looked down at the t-shirt and shorts he was wearing. "I'll be fine."
Nick hummed, unconvinced and grabbed his brown jacket anyway. He shrugged it on, even though he wasn't cold. He knew he'd want both hands free for their walk, one for Nellie's lead and one for Charlie.
Nellie led the way down the front path. Nick and Charlie approached the waiting car cautiously. Dawson was sitting in the driver's seat and looked up at them, expression unreadable.
Nick waved awkwardly and she rolled the window down.
"Morning," said Nick, as cheerfully as he could.
Dawson nodded at them both. Nick realised she had never actually met Charlie before.
"Um… this is my boyfriend Charlie." Charlie smiled brightly. "And this is Nellie."
"Boof!" said Nellie.
A chink appeared in Dawson's usually stoic armour as Nellie stretched up to stick her head curiously through the window. Dawson petted her head with more enthusiasm than Nick thought her capable of.
"What do you want?" she asked suspiciously.
"Um… we were wondering if…" Nick trailed off, nervous.
"Would it be possible to just take Nellie on a short walk? I understand that might not be safe," said Charlie. "But we thought, if you came with us…"
Dawson sighed. She looked from one set of puppy dog eyes to another. To Nick's surprise, she smiled ever so slightly. Then she opened the door and got out of the car.
Nellie leapt excitedly around her feet, ecstatic to have made a new friend. Dawson ruffled her ears.
"Come on then. I could do with some fresh air. I hate being stuck in this car all day. We have about an hour or so before the sketch artist gets here so we can't be too long."
"Thank you so much," said Nick.
"Thank you!" Charlie beamed.
They set off together toward the park. Nick and Charlie felt a bit odd having Dawson tag along, but they knew they couldn't complain too much. It was lucky they were getting this opportunity at all.
"You know what I just realised?" Nick said suddenly. "I didn't have a nightmare last night."
"Oh! That's right! That's so good!"
Nick grinned. "All thanks to you." He nudged Charlie's shoulder playfully.
"I can't believe Dawson let us do this," said Charlie quietly. "You made her sound like some kind of emotionless robot."
"I can hear you, you know?"
Nick and Charlie stopped to look behind them, where Dawson was far closer than they had realised.
"Sorry," said Charlie.
They fell into an awkward silence as Dawson fell into step beside them. After a few moments however, Dawson let out a sigh.
"I'm the one who should be sorry," she said.
Nick blinked at her in surprise.
"I spent my night off last night with a… friend I've been pursuing for a while now. I'd forgotten what it's like to feel something for someone else. I'm sorry for how unsympathetic I was yesterday, Nick. I am only trying to do my job but that doesn't excuse how I dismissed your very real frustrations. I think I've been quite lonely for a while now. I shouldn't be taking it out on you - a teenage boy in love."
Nick and Charlie exchanged surprised looks.
"That's okay," said Nick. "I'm happy for you."
"Yeah," said Charlie. "Me too. Do you think it'll work out? Will you see them again?"
"Oh, no," Dawson laughed. "Officer Kane is kind of an arse. I knew that already of course, we've been working in the same circles for a while now but… he is pretty. And he made me feel something. For a bit anyway."
"Ooh, Officer Kane," Charlie smirked. "Even his name sounds hot."
"Charlie!" But Nick laughed too. "How can a name sound hot?"
"I don't know, some names just do. I can think of another example - Nicholas Nelson." Charlie sighed dramatically. "The things I would do to Nicholas Nelson."
Nick went bright red, causing not only Charlie but Dawson to burst out laughing.
"So, this is your precious Charlie," she said. "No wonder you're so obsessed. He's adorable and hilarious."
It was Charlie's turn to turn pink. Nick grinned at his bashfulness. It was always nice when other people complimented his boyfriend. He hoped one day it would happen enough so that Charlie could get used to it.
By the time they arrived at the park, Nick could tell Charlie was no longer as warm as he had claimed back at the house. He could tell Charlie was trying his best not to look like he was as cold as he was. Nick shook his head, exasperated, as he slid his brown jacket off and dropped it around Charlie's shoulders.
Charlie looked up in surprise for a second, then smiled sheepishly. "Thanks," he murmured, slipping his arms into the sleeves.
"God, you two are practically perfect, aren't you?" Dawson sighed. "And you have a very cute dog. Isn't that right, Nellie?"
"Boof!"
They made their way along the path, around the play park and toward the small lake which stretched out across the back of the park, curving around between the trees at the edge of the woods, beyond which lay the cabins.
Nick soon found a good-sized stick to throw for Nellie to catch and get her wiggles out. Dawson sat herself on a nearby bench, keeping her distance but watching dutifully. There wasn't anyone else around this early in the morning and Nellie had lots of open space to run about on.
Charlie took a few photos with his camera, smiling as he watched each of them develop, before pocketing them. They were all of Nick and Nellie to start with but then he turned toward the lake.
The water was beautiful this morning. The sun was still low in the sky and it's rays were reflecting nicely off the ripples on the surface. Below, the water was shallow and clear.
Nick threw the stick for Nellie again and looked around, wondering where Charlie had gone. He turned to see Charlie standing on the little wooden dock that jutted out into the lake. His camera was raised to his eye. Charlie's view was pretty, but Nick would argue his was prettier.
Nellie bounded back to drop the stick joyfully at Nick's feet… but her master wasn't paying her any attention right now.
Nick didn't have time to cover his undoubtedly smitten expression before Charlie turned around. Charlie looked up from the photo that was developing in his hands and smiled at Nick watching him. He gave an adorable little wave and Nick's heart soared.
Crack.
Something struck Charlie hard in the chest.
His blue eyes widened. His mouth opened into a small 'o', as if in mild surprise.
He looked down in confusion.
Something red and dark was seeping slowly across his chest.
He looked up.
"Nick -"
And then he was falling.
The camera shattered as it hit the dock.
And Nick was running.
Someone was screaming.
Nellie was barking.
There was a small splash as Charlie hit the water and Nick realised he himself was the one screaming.
"CHARLIE!"
Then Nick was wading into the water, unaware of anything Nellie or Dawson were doing. Unaware of nothing but fighting desperately against the muddy lake bed, against the heaviness of his sodden clothes and shoes, pulling himself through and towards Charlie, who was floating, face down, several metres away.
Nick made it to Charlie's side in two determined strides.
He grasped Charlie under his arms, flipped him over and held him tightly against his chest in the water.
Charlie gasped, expelling the water from his lungs. Nick allowed himself a single breath. Charlie's head lolled weakly against Nick's shoulder -
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"
The water was turning rapidly redder around them. And then Dawson was there, beckoning Nick over toward the bank. Nick moved toward her and stumbled back out of the water.
He lay Charlie on the ground and saw for the first time exactly what had happened.
"An ambulance is on the way," Dawson was saying. "Pressure! We need to put pressure on the wound!"
Without a second thought, Nick pressed both of his hands against the wound in Charlie's chest.
Someone had shot him.
Someone had shot Charlie.
And Charlie was bleeding between Nick's fingers.
Nick could feel his heart beating under his hands.
But Charlie's eyes were closed. His skin was so pale.
Nick willed him to wake up.
But neither of them did.
S-words all the way down.
Leave a nice comment if you still like me (or even if you don't :P)