Since a bunch of resurrections are next I did a Laurels this time!
TALLULAH TULLE: "Hello everyone, iiiiit's PARADE TIME! Everyone's favorite day of the year- the Laurel Awards, is finally upon us. Will this be the year that blows us away? Or will it be nothing but fashion faux pas? Don't change the channel because fashion waits for no one!"
PRIAM: Can you say "tryhard?" Majesty's outfit has everything but the kitchen sink. You got the jewels, the furs, the wine bottles, the flowers, the- oh, cool, visible perfume.
TALLULAH: Aw, I wish I could smell it!
PRIAM: Majesty wears a crushed velvet purple suit. Very classy. Very boring.
TALLULAH: I like the squirty flower.
PRIAM: I do have to admit I have not seen this one before. Joseph looks very fierce in his tiger costume and Marley looks similarly dangerous in a tiger suit. Neither appear to be embracing it, though. Marley just looks bored and Joseph is clearly self-conscious as he timidly waves.
TALLULAH: Oh, the furries are gonna love these two.
PRIAM: Always fun when one stylist phones it in and the other goes all-out. Theta's suit is inspired- I can't imagine the work on those clearly hand-sewed panels. But when the lights hit her and she lights up like a disco ball, it's all worth it.
TALLULAH: Jurrien is wearing a leotard covered with wires. Woohoo.
PRIAM: I kinda like the Fours. Sometimes simple is okay. Yeah I've seen a scale suit a million times, but it's kinda neat how Laken's lights up. He's a little stiff but I was too for my first appearance on TV.
TALLULAH: I like Beth's! Like you said, mermaids are nothing new, but I really love mermaids! And she's doing that funky little shimmy now and then, just having a good time. And hold that thought because we're about to hear a word from our sponsors.
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TALLULAH: Why is Galvan a soldier? Peacekeepers don't come from Two.
PRIAM: Why am I so tested? Why am I exposed to such lowbrow pedestrian puns. Oh my sweet Tallulah... that is galvanized iron.
TALLULAH: Oh ha ha! What's that? But anyway Galvan sure is having a good time! Wren, too! I love the little floaty clouds. She's just like lightning! And they're both horsing around. I do think they're teasing each other about their outfits.
PRIAM: Okay this one IS kinda funny. Yes a jaguar is a very boring idea for a Six, but not an actual jaguar outfit. Like with spots and little cat ears. I daresay Romeo doesn't think it's quite so funny.
TALLULAH: Valencia, in her lotus outfit, disagrees. She thinks it's hilarious.
PRIAM: Oooh, is there some romance between the sexy lumberjack and the lovely forest nymph? I can't help but notice Timber and Dahlia are holding hands.
TALLULAH: And did he just steal a peck on the cheek? Not really, because it's not stolen if it's freely given! Oh, I just love a love story.
PRIAM: In what world does a green dress go with a pink feathered coat and a yellow crown? In what world does a pink feathered coat ever need to exist? Shoulda taken a cue from Mike's normal and not hideous tuxedo.
TALLULAH: That's a really weird makeup job on Mike.
PRIAM: I think that's his face...
TALLULAH: Oh... oh dear... well, appearances don't matter! I'm sure he's a nice young man!
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TALLULAH: All hail the grain king and queen! Jack and Amaranth match and while it's probably a bit itchy, they look great together! Love the patterns and the hand-placed seeds. It can't be easy to embroider with seeds. And Amaranth is the star of this show. She's waving and cheering and dancing and I think she quite rightly thinks all eyes are on her.
PRIAM: Meanwhile Jack is holding onto the chariot and trying not to move. It can't be hard when the ground's moving under you and everything's deafeningly loud and, you know, you're blind.
TALLULAH: Rainbow is positively luminous in her flower-petal gown. What a stroke of inspiration to tie in both her name and her District. I hear she's quite the heartbreaker and I can see why. She's blowing kisses and waving so demurely.
PRIAM: Anjou is a cow. But that's only 50% cow instead of 100% cow this year, so we're making great progress. He keeps trying to take Rainbow's hand and I can't tell if she doesn't notice or doesn't want it.
TALLULAH: Here's this year's tearjerker. Isabella wears the sea foam-green fringe top her mother wore in her first appearance, coupled with a sunflower-print skirt reminding us all of her father's iconic outfit. And she's looking all around so excitedly, like she can't believe she's following their footsteps. Oh, I'm going to cry.
PRIAM: Elias' own outfit might be overshadowed but it's serviceable. It's a perfectly competent grain reaper getup. He's having a bit of fun swinging the scythe around. I hope he doesn't spook the horses! All this clowning, though... I think he might be in for a rude awakening in the Games.
TALLULAH: That's a new one. It's bold, it's silly... I LOVE IT! Never have I seen a joint costume and it's absolutely hilarious. There are human hands sticking out at the end of the wings and they're definitely girl's hands so I gather Sky is on top.
PRIAM: They're moving like a headless chicken.
TALLULAH: NO THAT IS SO GROSS! They're just stumbling a bit because it's hard to carry someone on your back! They're doing their best!
PRIAM: I WOULD be really scared to see that running at me in the Arena.
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TALLULAH: And now it's time to reveal this year's Laurels! Up first, the "most creative use of District theme" Laurel. This year's winner is... Isabella Disney-Busattil, for honoring two Districts at once!
PRIAM: My first envelope this year is the "least creative use of District theme" Laurel. Lots of competition but coming out on top is... Anjou Corriente. Moo.
PRIAM: I don't want only the lame ones so I'm going twice in a row. This year's "Best performance from the Tribute wearing the outfit" goes to Amaranth Harvey!
TALLULAH: This year I have the honor of announcing the "funniest costume" award. I don't even have to read the envelope because we all know the joint winners are Zebulon and Sky.
PRIAM: Similarly, no one will be surprised to hear that the "prettiest outfit" Laurel goes to... yep, it's Rainbow!
TALLULAH: Always a fan-favorite, this year's worst of the worst, the biggest fashion disaster, the "worst costume" award is awarded to... Kade McNamara! She's literally a model, why did they betray her like this?
PRIAM: And we've saved the best for last, but the "best in show" this year is none other than... just gonna fiddle with the envelope a little here... ooh, almost open...
TALLULAH: OH MY GOSH OPEN IT!
PRIAM: ISABELLA DISNEY-BUSATTIL! Queen of the parade and Victor heir to the throne!
TALLULAH: Hope you didn't jinx her.
PRIAM: She's strong enough to win anyway.
TALLULAH: As it turned out, it was a blowout year! Some stinkers, a lot of treasures, and a one-in-a-million group of Tributes. Whoever wins, six of them are already champions.