Chapter 3: Black Hard-Covered Book

"Why are you being so evasive? How am I supposed trust you when I know you're keeping something from me?"

Elena looked around, noticing his voice was attracting some attention. "Keep your voice down." She chastised quietly. For a few moments she debated with herself; if she could be completely honest with him. "It's not something I can talk about here."

They awkwardly took the elevator up to the loft across the street, and both of them were silent as he unlocked the door and led her in.

Elena was immediately hit with a dark feeling. Although the place was littered with pictures of Damon and Katherine together or with her parents, it felt as if her sister never lived here at all. She walked through the large space stopping at the side table next to the couch. She sighed with a barely contained tremble, as she picked up the picture frame carefully.

"What is it?" he turned around when he noticed her stop. "Oh…that's an old one. Probably how you remember her." He deduced almost to himself. She was so focused on the picture he wasn't sure if she was listening to him.

"No…this isn't Katherine." In the picture Elena was wearing a black Nirvana t-shirt and had red streaks in her loosely crimped hair. The photo was captured in the middle of her laughter, causing it to be a beautifully spontaneous moment.

"What?" For years he always assumed it was Katherine; had loved that picture…and to know now that it was of someone else.

Elena smiled at the memory. It was taken at a party she threw while her parents were out of town for the weekend. Katherine wasn't much of the partier at the time, but she was good with a camera; only indulging in a drink or two when coerced by her sister.

Damon crossed the floor back over to Elena. "That's you?"

She nodded, her eyes still taking in the picture. "Yup. God that was so long ago…" placing the picture down again, Elena crossed her arms as if trying to block out the emotions. Everything went wrong shortly after that night.

They were silent for a few moments before Damon drew her out of her memories. "Why wouldn't she tell me about you? Why would she make me think this was her?" he pointed to the picture.

Elena sighed. "I don't know. We were always close growing up, even if my mom had it out for me I always knew she would be there to have my back. Maybe she was just embarrassed; crazy sister locked up in a loony bin…there's a lot to be embarrassed about." The sadness of that statement rolled off her in waves and Damon knew that he couldn't let her feel like her family was ashamed of her.

"I don't believe that." He shook his head, and nodded towards the kitchen where he had a black marble top island with two black leather chair stools in front of it. He led the way, moving around the island to the cupboards over the counter behind it, pulling out two glasses and his bourbon from the lower cabinet. "Katherine has never been ashamed of anything, least of all family. I know all the sordid details of her relationship with Isobel." He stated as he turned and silently offered her a drink which she politely declined with the shake of her head, and poured a very full one for himself.

Her brows arched so far up her forehead they nearly disappeared. "I'm sorry, come again?" she inquired as she sat down in one of the chairs across from him.

Damon shrugged. "She had it tough…Isobel was a bitch to her; no offense." He added as an afterthought.

Elena crossed her arms and leaned them on the counter top. "None taken, she was a bitch…but not to Katherine." The look on Damon's face screamed confusion. "Do you even know my sister, Damon; because so far, you seem to know as much about her as I know about Ben and JLo's love life."

Damon took a long sip of his drink. "They broke up…he's with Jennifer Gardner now."

"What?!" she was seriously shocked. "Well, see there's my point."

Damon finished off his drink in one gulp. "I know my girlfriend, Elena. Kat and I were together for six years!" He poured himself another drink. "I'm not the one that spent the last five years in a padded cell." He added ruthlessly downing his second shot.

Elena twisted her mouth, wounded. "Well…" She dropped her eyes down to his now empty glass. "I may have been assumed crazy, but at least I don't drown myself in the bottom of a bottle. Do you always drink like this?"

Damon's eyes narrowed in silent intensity. "Don't judge me. I live my life; what's left of it, as I want."

Raising her hands in surrender, Elena backed off. "Okay, no judgement." There was an awkward silence that followed and she slowly slid off her seat. "Maybe I should go…" she retrieved her purse from the spot beside her chair.

"I'm sorry." Moving around the island, Damon stood in front of her, blocking her path. "Stay…please?" he added vulnerably. This was the first time he had any company, and it felt good to have someone to talk to.

After a tense moment of thinking it over, she slipped back into her chair and dropped her purse back to the floor. "I think I'm ready for one of those now." She nodded to the bottle still sitting on the counter.

Damon smiled hesitantly and rounded the island to take his previous spot. He only poured her half a glass and was about to top off his glass, but on second thought decided against it. "Yes." He answered her earlier question with quiet acquiescence.

A frown marred her flawless skin in confusion of his random answer. "Yes what?" she sipped her bourbon, and made a face in disfavour for the harsh flavour.

"Yes, I always drink like this." He stared down at the empty glass in front of him. "I spend twelve hours at work, go to the bar, drink myself into oblivion, sleep and repeat. If I'm lucky I'll still be drunk when I wake up." He huffed, a sarcastic laugh at the inadequacy of his life.

Elena tried to keep the look of sympathy off her face. The last thing he needed was for someone to feel sorry for him, so she changed the subject. "So do you think I can take a look at that journal?"

"What do you think you're going to find, Elena?" he was still skeptical of her and what she could possibly be keeping from him.

She shrugged. "While I was at Riverside we talked about things…" she trailed off.

Damon was getting frustrated with her evasiveness. "What kind of things?" at her silence he continued with a subtle roll of his eyes. "Look, you said you couldn't talk about it at the bar…now here we are; with no one to hear it but me and the walls. So…?" he urged.

Elena exhaled shakily, and took a few minutes to collect her thoughts. "I witnessed a murder. At least I thought I did. She was bleeding a lot, barely conscious; and when he looked at me, dead in the eyes…I thought he was going to kill me too. A group of people walked around the corner and I used the opportunity to run. I called the police to report it and they said when they went to the crime scene there was nothing there. No body, no evidence…no blood; anywhere. But I was so adamant about it. I knew what I saw." She kept her head down, staring at her hands as she spoke, too nervous to look at him as she explained the most terrifying moment of her life. "Katherine and I wrote back and forth about it for months. Based on everything I told her, she looked into it and came to some conclusions. She believed me…she was the only person that did." Tears clouded her eyes, but she blinked them away.

Damon was listening so intently, the air around them was thick with tension. "You're parents had you committed because you saw someone get murdered?" he asked with disbelief and a little sympathy.

She shook her head patiently. "No, they had me committed because I was so certain that, that's all I talked about, and dreamed about and thought about. I drew pictures of the killer, I kept going back to that same spot, researching, and trying to explain it. I skipped so much school my parents had to fly out, reluctantly to make me seek therapy. They sent me to different shrinks and doctors all of them saying the same thing; 'She needs further professional treatment'." She quoted bitterly.

"I'm sorry…I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. For your own parents to not believe you…" he trailed off shaking his head.

Elena nodded. "It's hard to talk about…I've been coached to think one way for so long, I started to not believe myself."

He nodded. "I'll go get her stuff." He left her there for a few brief moments, before returning with a box. "This is all of her college stuff. If you're going to find anything it'll be in here. I'll give you a moment." He left the room, leaving her with the box of memories.

"Thanks." She carefully pulled out her sister's belongings looking over them with a wistful smile. Katherine's loopy writing on every page; silly doodles and thesis papers. She came across the black hard covered book and paused. Her fingers caressed the scrawl of the word 'journal' on the front. She inhaled as she opened the cover, flipping through the pages slowly. She passed over what wasn't relevant, not wanting to invade too much of her sister's privacy. She was halfway through the book when a word popped out on the paper.

Her eyes burned with the tears she couldn't stop from falling, and her hand went to her mouth.