Return of the Unicorns, Chapter 14
Note: This will be from the perspective of Remus.
Another note: I ship Remus and Sirius. But rest assured, Tonks will find love with someone and her son Teddy will still come into being!
One last note: The mention of cutting a pizza into a spiral is a reference to one of my favorite XKCD comics.
Sirius and Remus awkwardly wandered out onto the moonlit beach. The stars shone above them, making the scene look soothing and serene.
"Soooo…" Sirius began, "Are we going to have that awkward heart-to-heart conversation Hope told us to have?"
"WHAT awkward heart-to-heart conversation?" Remus scoffed a little too forcefully.
"The one about how jealous you get every time I start flirting with someone," Sirius clarified smugly.
"Don't flatter yourself," muttered Remus.
The two walked along the beach some more in an awkward silence that was interrupted only by the steady washing of the Pacific's gentle waves upon the soft white sand.
"You're never serious about anyone, anyway," murmured Remus as he stared out over the ocean. "Always flirting with anything that walked on two legs, never willing to commit to anyone. It's the way you are, Padfoot, and it's always been endearing." He forced a watery smile.
"Moony," scoffed Sirius, "You know that's not true."
"Well, you've never had a relationship that lasted longer than two weeks…"
"I've never wanted to keep any of the people I've dated around longer than a fortnight, and the one person I'd want around for the rest of my life wouldn't have me."
Remus stopped walking and stared at Sirius, dumbfounded. Sirius hadn't given any indication of wanting anyone that much except for when… did he mean…?
Remus's mind flew back to one night in Spring of his and Padfoot's sixth year. Earlier that day, James had won the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor, which meant that Gryffindor had a giant party in the Common Room, and now, the four Marauders were the only ones awake amid the party's remains.
"Truth or Dare?" James asked Remus.
"Dare," sighed Remus. It was two bloody o'clock in the morning and while the idea of having to run through the Great Hall stark naked didn't sound ideal, it would sure beat whatever weird confessions the very drunk Prongs would try to pull out of him.
"I dare you to kiss Padfoot," Prongs commanded, grinning like a loon.
"Padfoot?" Remus asked nervously, thinking his friend would surely object.
But Padfoot did not object. He just made his way over to Remus and cradled his face with an easy familiarity. The warmth of his hand was gentle and tender, but its presence shocked Remus to the core. "Last chance to escape," he whispered, his breath warm and enticing as his softly grinning lips drew ever closer.
But Remus didn't want to escape. He ran a hand up through Sirius's silky hair and joined their mouths in one harmonious motion.
His brain cells positively fried in his skull, from the initial shock of dizzying pleasure. How could it be the case that touching lips with someone could bring about an experience that bordered on the religious. Moments after they'd begun, Padfoot was lying on top of him on the common room floor, but it felt as if he was soaring.
Their lips locked, their tongues danced, and their limbs intertwined. Neither one knew what they were doing, but their bodies seemed to move without them. When at last the two came up for air, they were breathing hard and wide-eyed with shock.
"That was… wow," breathed Remus.
"Yeah…"
"Did we scare off Wormtail and Prongs?"
"Who cares," laughed Sirius. "Now shut up and kiss me."
Remus was all too happy to oblige, sliding into a second kiss that was every bit as intense and passionate as the first. Nothing could break their pure bliss in each other's arms. Except…
"I love you, Remus," Sirius murmured as their mouths came apart.
"You're… a good friend," Remus filled in awkwardly.
"It's way more than that," insisted Sirius. "Like, I love you like James loves Lily. I love you so much I wanna marry you."
"You can't love me, Padfoot! I'm a werewolf!"
"Not sure if you've noticed, mate, but I don't care."
"But I do, Padfoot! I'm an outcast and I'm always going to be one! You can get away with being my friend, but if you're tied to me for life, then I'm just going to drag you down."
"So what? I'm an outcast, too! Don't know if you've noticed, but my family hate my guts!"
"But you still have a future, and if you were with me, I'd ruin it for you. I can't do that to you, Padfoot, I just can't! I love you too much to tie you down!"
"I've heard enough of this nonsense," spat Padfoot, getting up and making for the common room door, grabbing a half-finished bottle of Fire Whiskey on his way. "Come back to me when you actually want to be happy!"
Padfoot had sulked off to Merlin-Knew-Where and Remus went up to the darkened dorm room for a fitful night's sleep. When they ran into one another at lunch the next day, they awkwardly gawked at one another before Sirius wiped the melancholy expression from his face and proceeded to act like nothing of significance had happened.
Jolting back to the present, Remus gasped. "Padfoot, are you referring to me? You actually remember the night you kissed me?"
"Yeah, of course I am! What, did you think I was too drunk to remember?"
Remus's silence indicated that he thought the answer was yes.
"Ugh, did you really think so little of me? No, don't answer that. This is ridiculous, I'm going to bed." Sirius stalked off down the beach, back in the direction of the hotel.
"Wait, Padfoot, wait!" insisted Remus, grabbing Sirius on the shoulder so he couldn't get away.
"WHAT, Moony?"
"The prank you pulled at the tail end of our sixth year, the one where you tried to lure Snape into the Shrieking Shack as I turned into a werewolf on the full moon. Did you do that because you were mad at me for rejecting you?"
"What? No, of course not! Moony, how could you think that?"
"Well, I just worried that I'd hurt you so badly that-"
Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and physically shook him. "No. No, no, no, no, no. NO. That was because James and I got a stupid idea that we stupidly followed because we hated Snivellus. The thing I most regret was exposing your condition to Snape, Moony. You have no idea how sorry I am for the whole of the prank, but especially the way it made you vulnerable to that slimy git Snape."
"It's in the past now, Padfoot. It's in the past."
"Is it, though?! Because maybe you thought it was me who betrayed Lily and James because if I was capable of betraying you like that, then maybe you thought that I'd betray them too! And-"
"I was an IDIOT, Padfoot," Remus interrupted him. "I knew how much you loved Lily and James and I absolutely should've suspected Wormtail. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you."
Sirius threw his hands up in the air with emphatic frustration. "Great. So, we're both sorry. Guess that's resolved," he groaned.
"Hey," Remus said softly, grabbing his friend's hands out of the air and gripping them tightly in his own. "I forgive you for the prank, Sirius. Hell, I forgave you and Prongs as soon as you both apologized. I mean, how many times did we all joke about wanting to murder Snape? I encouraged you. I think it took that encounter for us to finally all come to our senses."
"For what it's worth, I never resented you for thinking I'd betrayed the Potters and killed Wormtail. The whole Wizarding world thought I was guilty, so why should I blame you for believing their lies?"
"I'm glad we know the truth. I'm just sorry it wasn't sooner."
"Yeah, me too. I missed you so bad…" Sirius's hands squeezed Remus's tightly as tears pooled in his eyes.
"Do you… do you still love me, Sirius?"
Sirius closed his eyes against a flood of tears. "Always. I'd rather be an outcast with you than revered by the entire magical world. And don't you dare question my opinion, because I've had a really long time to think about it!"
"I love you too, Sirius." Remus leaned in to kiss the tears off the other Marauder's face. "Always."
The next day, Remus woke up feeling utterly overjoyed. Because he didn't want to take risks with his lycanthropy, he'd never had a significant other before Sirius. And now that he got to have the relationship he'd always dreamed of, he intended on enjoying every bit of it.
Although, he hoped that the two of them hadn't been TOO loud last night.
After their confessions of love on the beach, the two Marauders kissed under the stars, every bit as passionately as they had when they were 16. Eventually, covered in sand and seawater and not caring a wit, they tiptoed back into the hotel suite and immediately began… celebrating. The first part of their celebration had been awkward for Remus, who was finally parting with his virginity… at the age of 36. But he'd always been a quick study and before too long, the two of them were enjoying sheer perfection.
The utter perfection had him grinning as he woke up and stretched, waking Sirius in the process.
Sirius rolled over to face him, grinned hungrily. "Again?"
"You broke me last night!" Remus protested playfully.
Sirius play-bit his nose and then went in for a good-morning kiss. "I'll fix you up later."
"In the meantime, we should check on our unicorn friend," said Remus. "I'm worried about her. It's not like her to feel sorry for herself."
"Don't worry, we've got time to feed her and take her for a walk," laughed Sirius.
"Have you NOTICED how she woke up early to squeeze in some crazy-long run or head out surfing before our lava hex lessons? I think if we tried to keep up with one of her workouts, it'd get us killed."
"Heyyyyy! Are you calling us old and out of shape?!" Sirius threw a pillow at Remus's head, that hit him square in the face.
Remus threw the pillow back at Sirius and then clutched his shoulder, groaning in pain from the gymnastics he'd put his body through last night. "Kinda?" he joked.
The opening and closing of a far door announced that Hope had re-entered the suite.
Remus threw on clothes and went to greet her. She had on a swimsuit and her hair was full of sand, so he gathered this had been a swimming/surfing kind of morning. "How are you, kiddo? Feeling all right?"
She sighed audibly. "What happened with Andrew still sucks, but I'll live. Intellectually, I know I'm better off without him, but emotionally…"
"You miss him, and you grieve the relationship."
"Yeah."
"I hope your night went better?"
Sirius chose that moment to come out of their bedroom.
"Eh?" Remus shrugged. "My night was all right."
"That's not you were passionately moaning last night, Moony!" taunted Sirius, as he leaned in and play-nibbled little kisses on Remus's shoulder.
Hope fixated on the looks the two Marauders were giving each other… and jumped to a bunch of conclusions that were thoroughly and completely accurate.
She pumped her fist in the air. "Oh my God! I knew it! You both ARE totally in love with each other! Yesssss! I knew it!"
Later over breakfast, Remus asked Hope if his new relationship with Sirius was bothering her since it came in the wake of some news from her ex-boyfriend. But Hope waved him off before he could finish asking. "Remus, are you kidding me? I'm so happy for you and Sirius! You're not making me jealous, you're reminding me that I can still find my happy-ever-after. And I guess this is the part where I threaten you and Sirius with horrible things if you ever break each other's hearts."
Sirius coughed on a mouthful of orange juice as he tried to stifle a laugh. "Oh, please," he spluttered, "I'd like to see you try."
"What does that mean?" Hope asked, taken aback.
"It's a backhanded compliment," Remus said, stepping in to mediate before his two companions could descend into pointless bickering. "Sirius isn't doubting your abilities, Hope, he just thinks you're too sweet to actually attack either of us. Did you know that we call you the Cinnamon Roll behind your back?"
Hope shot them both a quizzical look.
"It means you're really sweet, really hot, and much like the frosting on a cinnamon roll, probably going to stick around for a while – as our friend," Sirius teased. "We're thinking of making that your nickname. What do you think – Cinnamon Roll as your official title and Cinnamon for short?"
"Heyyy, I'm not THAT sweet," Hope protested. "Don't forget, I'm about to turn into a unicorn for the purpose of using lava hexes – which are punishable by time in Azkaban if you do them while you're a human. I can be a badass outlaw if I want to be!"
"What crimes would you even commit? Illicitly learning how to surf?" Sirius teased. "Say, where DID you learn to surf, anyway?"
"Honestly? No idea. I guess it's one of my weird memory things where I know how to do something but don't know where I learned it. Like how I know how to do spells!"
"I think you should try and expose yourself to more parts of the magical world, Hope. Maybe then, you'll discover more of your own skills and knowledge. Maybe you'll even discover how you learned what you know!" Remus added.
Hope nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good, Remus. I'll give it a go once we're back."
"But I bet she doesn't remember how to be an outlaw," Sirius cackled.
"I'm… going to cut a pizza into a spiral! Crimes!" she proclaimed enthusiastically, despite how awkward and strange it sounded.
Sirius raised both eyebrows as his face took on a taunting grin. "THAT's the first criminal-sounding thing you come up with?! Cutting your pizza the wrong way?"
Sirius and Remus high-fived and then kissed before they descended into laughter.
"Pie-racy is a very serious offense!" Hope protested awkwardly before she, too, started chuckling at all of their silliness.
The three of them had a lovely and restful flight back to England and were walking languidly through the customs area at London Heathrow airport. The reality of the task ahead of them – that they were going to have to fight giants – still hadn't quite hit home.
Until, that was, a furious-looking Kingsley Shacklebolt strode toward them.
"Order Headquarters. NOW," he ground out.
Hope's face sported a "deer in the headlights" look while Remus and Sirius both groaned audibly because they really should've known they'd be in for the telling-off of a lifetime.
Fortunately, Remus found the right words when he needed to. "If you're going to tell us off, you can also tell Hope. I assume you got our note indicating that we were accompanying her on a trip to learn the lava magic she'll need in order to fight giants? We did indicate how long we'd be gone."
Kingsley grabbed Remus and Hope each by the arm and led them off into a quiet corner.
"As you both know, Rubeus Hagrid is on a mission to meet with giants in Scotland and win them over to our side. Your little project has been a waste of precious time!"
"Well, they've been attacking my herd of unicorns!" protested Hope.
"YOUR herd?" Kingsley scoffed.
"She's a reincarnated unicorn," clarified Remus. "She can take on the unicorn shape and everything. Please, Kingsley. Why don't you let her show you?"
When Kingsley begrudgingly nodded, Hope apparated Sirius back to the townhouse where she'd been staying and Remus took Kingsley.
Hope wasted no time once they'd all arrived: she dropped her backpack and suitcase and transformed into her unicorn shape right there in the entrance hall.
"All right," Kingsley conceded. "Hope, is it? Yes? I'd like for you to tell me about your past and present lives, and also what's going on with the unicorns."
So, Hope filled Kingsley in on how she'd discovered her unicorn powers, how she'd decided to come to England, how she'd acquired wizarding abilities but was still trying to figure out where she'd learned magic in the first place, and her other memory issues. She also explained that her unicorn herd were isolationists: they didn't want to take part in anything to do with the outside world. They wanted nothing to do with Voldemort, of course, but they didn't want anything to do with the wizards who were fighting him, either. They were only concerned about the activity of the giants because it impeded on their own territory.
Kingsley nodded as Hope finished her explanation. Remus knew the man was capable of enough legilimency to be able to know that Hope was telling the truth. "I see. I believe you."
"Thank you," replied Hope.
The four of them then stood in silence, each pondering what to do next.
The silence was broken by an owl rapping on one of the house's windows. Kingsley got up to let the bird in and relieve it of its cargo: a note for him. His eyes skimmed over the note and his face took on a look of fear.
"What is it, Kingsley?" asked Remus.
"Hagrid's in danger. Dumbledore sent him to meet with giants in Scotland and he was getting on well with them and with their leader Karkus. But Karkus was murdered by Golgomath – who's siding with the Death Eaters. With Golgomath in control of the giants, Hagrid won't last long."
Hope nodded. "I know where Karkus used to live and if the giants are still there, then we can find them. Come on, we have to go rescue Hagrid!"
Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley didn't even need to nod their agreement. They touched Hope so that they could side-apparate to wherever she was headed – and not a second later, the four of them were gone.