Okay guys, I swore after the last one I was gonna have a little break, but of course i had like 4 ideas pop into my head.
So here we go, the next crazy ride!
Hope everyone is keeping safe! xx
Somebody That I Used to Know.
Chapter 1.
His tongue explored hers while his hand entangled itself in her hair, goosebumps covered her body as he raked her fingers down his back. Pulling her against him, she could feel his excitement grow. Grasping her upper thigh, he lifted her into the air and she wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her mouth down his neck. Making their way in to the bedroom he lay her on the bed and gently removed her dress as she slid off his top admiring his chiseled torso. His hand caressed her cheek and ran it down her chest, lingering over her underwear line. She squirmed with anticipation, letting out a moan as his head moved down her body.
Kate's eyes flew open hearing an ear piercing squeal, looking down she flinched, forgetting, for a split second, she was cradling her daughter. Her face wrinkled trying to recall the face of the man in her dream, or was it a memory? She wasn't sure. Her sleep deprivation was exhausting, she felt hungover twenty four seven. Who ever said, sleep when they sleep, never had a child, they never slept enough for her to feel normal. She wondered whether her lack of sleep was the cause of her crazy dreams, it was just another thing to add to the list of things that were wrong with her.
Looking back down at her baby girl, she couldn't understand how such a tiny thing could produce such a stomach curdling noise. She sat there in a zombielike state, staring at this baby whom she couldn't believe was hers. How could she have a baby when she didn't remember giving birth? When she didn't remember being pregnant.
She looked up feeling a presence above her, she blinked furiously trying to focus on him. His lips moved, but her mind refused to register his words. Leaning down, he removed the baby from her lap, she didn't need to hear him, she could see his annoyance written over his face. She couldn't move, her body was numb. Was this her reality? Or was this a dream?
Kate sat on the bench outside of N.A.V.C.O.M, taking in the sunshine. She was sure they had given her the job out of pity, or as a distraction from her current situation, not because they actually needed her. She had only spent a year or so in an office-based position, most of her career had been at sea. Luckily that particular year hadn't been wiped from her memory, just the past 6 years. She always put one hundred percent into her work, but it was hard when it was met with sympathetic stares and whispers.
"Kate?"
Her eyes were closed, she flinched, feeling a hand on her shoulder. Part of her wished she didn't have to open them, that she didn't have to rejoin the world.
"Kate?"
She didn't recognise the voice, slowly, she opened her eyes, preparing herself to act like she was fine.
"Kate, are you okay?"
She forced a smile on her face, trying to hide the fact she was running names through her head, trying to match it with his concerned face.
"It's Daniel? Right?"
The sides of his mouth twitched, she knew instantly it wasn't his name, she couldn't help but wince at her mistake. He cleared his throat, trying not to let it bother him.
"Dylan, but that's okay. How you going? You look a bit lonely out here."
"I'm just tire apparently babies really hate it when their parents get a good night sleep."
It was a half truth, but at least it was a good cover. She didn't know what was more original, sleepless nights because of the baby or sleepless nights because she had been through something.
Dutchy chuckled nervously, he had no idea what she was going through, but he knew she was good at bottling it up. He knew she was seeing someone to help, and she had Mike, but he couldn't help but feel a little hurt that she hadn't confided in him. They had become close after their rocky start, she was probably his best friend, and he couldn't stand the thought of losing her. No longer being her Buffer didn't help either, they barely saw each other. But she now had a child, he knew how that went. He had friends with children, had, being the operative word, they swore nothing would change, but of course it did.
"Well, that sucks! I can't believe we haven't really hung out, you know, she needs to get to know her Uncle Dutchy."
"Yeah, I know. It's just been hectic, plus, you're out at sea and, well, there's the fact that I don't really know you..."
She trailed off seeing the devastated look on his face, he stepped back from her not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.
"Anyway, what are you doing out here?"
"Oh, umm, I try to come outside on my lunch breaks, I mean, its hard spending all day in doors when you've spent most of your life out at sea."
"Yeah, we miss you out there…"
"I miss you guys too!"
It surprised her how easily the sentence left of her mouth, she didn't mean to say it, it just came out. But how did she know she missed them? She didn't remember them.
"Well, I'm on shore for a bit, you wanna catch up? I mean, if you're not too busy, and bring Aria if you need too?"
She rose from the bench, packing up her lunch scraps.
"Thanks, that's sweet, but Mike's got it covered."
Glancing up to him, she felt compelled to give him something, he looked so hopeful.
"But yeah, sure, we could catch up…"
She watched as a giant grin appeared on his face, almost of a smile of relief. It wasn't that she didn't want to get to know her old crew again, but she didn't know how, she felt so lost. Dutchy reached over and placed a hand on her on her arm.
"Great, I'll text you later…"
Her eyes darted down to his hand touching her, he quickly whipped it away forgetting her current state.
"Well, hope the rest of your day is productive…"
He walked off shaking his head and mumbling to himself.
"I hope the rest of your day is productive? What was that? Good job not making it awkward, idiot."
Kate walked up the stairs unsure about what that was, she stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to watch him walk away. He was the last person she thought she'd ever be friends with, but their friendship intrigued her.
That evening Kate wandered around the house carrying the baby monitor, she heard her gurgle and peered into Aria's room. Tip toeing into the room she stood above the crib, she couldn't help but smile seeing her cherub like face.
"I love you, I really do, but, I miss the sea."
Picking her up she patted her nappy covered bottom, she heard the door creak open and turned to see Mike in the doorway.
"How are my girls?"
Kate flashed him a smile as she handed her to him.
"We're good, she just woke up from her nap."
Mike held her in the air above his head, putting on his best baby voice her gave her a tickle.
"Did you miss Daddy? Did my beautiful girl miss her daddy?"
He cradled her in one arm as he kissed Kate on the cheek, giving her a squeeze.
"You okay?"
She nodded, trying not to look how she felt, deflated.
"Yeah, just tired."
"Yeah, when I came home this morning you were like a zombie, she was screaming in your lap and it was like you didn't hear her."
She knew he wasn't having a go, but she couldn't help but snap back.
"I'm tired, alright, you would be too…"
She hung her head as soon as the words left her mouth, Mike frowned at her tone, placing Aria back on her play mat he reached for Kate's hand.
"Is that all?"
She pulled it away, rubbing it over her face.
"Yeah, sorry, she's just not settling, maybe she does miss her daddy…"
"Have you been keeping up with your appointments?"
"I haven't had time, Mike…"
She had been though a lot, he didn't want to hassle her, but she wasn't talking to him, to anyone.
"Okay, well, I'm home for a bit, why don't you make an appointment, please…"
Kate hesitated before replying, she wanted to scream, not at him, but because she felt so lousy. She knew he meant well, but she couldn't help but feel he was skimming over things, just telling her the good parts, how was that supposed to help her? She sighed and went to find her phone, she sighed as she picked it up and dialed a number.
"Hello, this is Kate McGregor, could I please make an appointment with Dr Bowen. Oh, today…"
She looked over to Mike, he smiled and nodded as he picked up Aria.
"Yeah, that's fine…"
Kate sat in the doctor's office, her legs crossed over one another, her foot shook giving away her nervousness, Dr. Bowen sat opposite her smiling.
"So, how have you been, Kate?"
She couldn't help but feel like it was a loaded question.
"Ah, good."
Dr Bowen raised an eyebrow as her pen poised to write.
"Good?"
Kate picked at her cuticles, knowing this was a waste of time.
"I haven't seen you in a while?"
"Yeah, Mike's been out at sea…"
"I've told you, you can bring Aria, it's not a problem."
Kate remained silent, her eyes darted around the room feeling cornered, Dr Bowen placed her notepad on the table between them.
"Kate, this isn't supposed to be scary, it's supposed to be helpful."
She exhaled sharply, causing her shoulders to drop.
"Well, it's both."
"It's scary? Why's that?"
"Not scary, just frustrating. I don't think it's helping."
"Well, when you've been through a trauma…"
Kate's jaw clenched and her body tensed, she looked over and made eye contact with Dr Bowen for the first time.
"I haven't been through a trauma, how can it be a trauma if I don't remember it."
Dr Bowen worried Kate's mentality about therapy was a roadblock to helping her recover, she needed to stop thinking of it as something to pass, rather than something that's helpful.
"Okay, lets try to talk about something else, something easy, how's Mike?"
She couldn't help but roll her eyes, how was that topic any easier?
"He's fine, you know, the same. He tries to help…"
"Tries?"
"Well, there's not much he can really do, I mean, he tells me about the things I missed out on, but it just makes me sadder."
"Well, tell me about that."
Kate's body tensed again, she had inadvertently given her an in.
"Nothing to tell, it's exactly that."
"Why does it make you sad?"
"Because I missed out on all these things with Aria, and I apparently have this entire family in the Hammersley which I don't know about and, well, I can't feel."
"Okay, so how is your relationship?"
"Well, we have a newborn, and I have no memory of our relationship, how do you think it's going?"
"How's your sex life…"
Kate hesitated at the question.
"Again, we have a newborn, and no memory of our relationship."
"Okay, but how do you feel about him…"
She knew this was the opportunity to tell her about her dreams, but she felt silly, why would they mean anything? She rose from the couch and wandered around the room.
"I don't know, I guess we're getting to know each other again, but he knows a lot about me, so I guess I feel like I'm behind, like it's not really my life."
"Okay, so what do you feel your life should be?"
"I dunno, I only know what I've been told. I mean, how am I supposed to approach this?"
Dr Bowen smiled, it was the first time Kate had asked for help.
"Just one day at a time."
Kate let out a hiss, it was such a cliche answer.
"Yeah, no problem."
"Is there a problem? With Mike?"
She stopped at the window and hesitated ever so slightly before turning to face Dr. Bowen.
"No, I mean, he's out at sea, and he does his best."
"Has he thought about taking a shore posting to help?"
She wished he would, but in the time she had to reconnect with him she had discovered that it was his one true love. This was a piece of information she was not going to share with Dr Bowen, she was too afraid of her analysis of the issue.
"No, but I don't expect him too, why should his life stop just because... just because I'm broken."
"Kate, you're not broken."
She flopped back on to the couch and folded her arms over her chest.
"Oh, really, how would you describe it then?"
End Chapter 1.