Somebody That I Used To Know.
Chapter 2.
Kate stormed into her house and threw her bag onto the counter. She let out a growl as she flung open the fridge door and poured herself a large glass of wine. Mike entered the kitchen holding Aria, a sideways glance at her glass immediately told him something was wrong. He pretended not to notice her sullen expression and approached with a smile.
"How was your session?"
She took a large gulp, shaking her head.
"Waste of time..."
He stood beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Kate, don't be disheartened, I know this is frustrating."
She didn't know why his words were doing the opposite of their intention, but she was sick of the sympathy, the encouraging words. Clenching her fists, she tried to calm her mind, but it refused to be silenced. Slamming her glass on down she rose from her chair and stood close.
"Frustrating? Mike, you have no idea what this feels like! I don't feel like myself! I don't feel connected to you, to our baby, to anything!"
Mike knew she wasn't coping, and arguing with her wasn't going the help. He ignored her outburst and flashed her a comforting smile and took Aria into the lounge room.
Kate collapsed on to the stool beside her, picking up her glass, she down the lot. Her phone beeped, distracting her from the mess she had made, it was Dutchy.
"Lunch tomorrow?"
It was the last thing she wanted to do, but maybe he might have some answers that could help her.
"Sure, meet you at Tropicana at 12?"
She made her way into the lounge room with another glass of wine, placing herself down next to Mike, she observed him for a moment.
It was so hard for her mind to comprehend they had rekindled their relationship, last she remembered he had abandoned her without so much of a text message. He slid his hand over the couch and squeezed her hand. She sighed as her eyes met his, she knew she needed to make more of an effort, pacing her glass down she re-positioned herself on the couch giving him her full attention.
"So, I'm catching up with Dutchy tomorrow."
"That's good, you guys were close, I bet he'll be happy to catch up."
"Close?"
"Well, I told you about your rocky start, but you guys seemed to work it out, for a bit there I thought he was a little keen on you."
She tried not to react to his ridiculous thought.
"Oh, that's weird..."
"Well, we all spend a lot of time together, everyone knows the rules, but you can't help what the heart wants. You know, sometimes I can't believe we didn't cross the line."
"Well, the navy means a lot to us right?"
He nodded as he looked down at Aria in his arms.
"Yeah, but sometimes I wonder if it's time to come back to shore, now we've got this beautiful girl I don't want to miss anything."
He waited for her to react, but there was nothing, she just sat there sipping on her wine.
"Thought you might have jumped at the thought of me coming home?"
She didn't know if that was something she would want, realising he was staring at her, waiting for an answer, she shrugged and took another mouthful of wine.
"Oh, it would be great, but I want it to be something you do because you want to, not because you have to."
Mike hesitated at her response, surprised she wasn't more excited at the thought.
"Yeah, well, but being a parent is a little different..."
"Oh, but a relationship isn't?"
Kate froze, unsure where her snap had come from. Mike looked at her quizzically, his head tilted. Her brow wrinkled, surprised he didn't retaliate, instead he just smiled at her.
"What?"
"You used to get annoyed at me cos I wouldn't take a shore posting, Kate, are you remembering something?"
She didn't know, it just came out of her mouth.
"I don't think so, but maybe if you tell me more about what happened it might."
Mike avoided eye contact and focused on Aria.
"Kate, I don't think you should be reliving it, it's not healthy."
She took another large gulp of wine, it was the same answer she normally received. She didn't think he would hide anything from her, maybe he was just overly protective.
"Well, I think anything that might jog my memory is a good thing."
"Look, you've only been out of hospital for four weeks, you're already pushing it by being back at work."
Her frustration returned, shifting away from him, she removed Aria from his lap.
"Well, I was going mad, at least its something I can do without my memory."
Mike knew they were about to have another argument, he rose from the couch with his arms outstretched.
"I think someone needs a change…"
Kate sighed and handed Aria to him, leaning down he kissed her on the forehead.
"Don't force it, it's okay…"
Mike carried Aria into her room talking baby talk to her, Kate sat back on the couch sipping on her wine.
"Yeah, well, I'm not okay."
The next afternoon Kate had arrived at Tropicana early, placing herself at a table she fiddled with her bracelet, she was nervous and she didn't know why. Her heart beat faster as she saw Dutchy approach, taking off his sunglasses he slid into the chair opposite her.
"Hey, Mumma..."
He looked around the table, she joined in, unsure what he was looking for.
"Where is she?"
"Oh, Mike has her, thought it'd be nice to catch up without having a distraction."
"Oh, fair enough, but just so you know, I love kids."
Kate eyeballed him, doubting his enthusiasm.
"What? That's surprising? They like me too..."
"I'll have to remember that when she's screaming down the house at three am."
"So, how you been, anyway?"
He cringed, knowing it was a stupid question. Kate rolled her eyes internally, trying to think of a positive response to her now most hated question.
"Yeah, good, I guess, as good as I can be."
"I dunno if this is the right thing to say or whatever, but I'm sorry this happened. I mean it's kinda selfish, but I'm annoyed, like for you, but also for me, it kinda feels like I've lost a friend."
"It's okay, you're allowed to feel the way you do. I mean I hate all this pity and sympathy, mostly cos I don't know what I'm missing out on. Mike keeps telling me about how much of a family we were and how close we all were, but I can't feel that, you know. Its strange, people can tell me whatever they want and I guess I just have to believe them."
"So, ah, is anything coming back?'
"Sorry, Dutchy, can we talk about something else?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It's just, what else can we talk about? I mean, if you don't remember me, it's a bit hard."
Kate clenched her jaw as she tried to smile though her annoyance, it wasn't his fault, but he was being so blunt. Mike would normally skip over the obvious awkwardness and make it easy, but he wasn't. The frustration was written over her face, he let out a nervous chuckle.
"Sorry, Kate, I just don't really know what to say."
She rose for the table, unable to meet his gaze.
"You don't need to say anything, this was a mistake."
She was halfway out the door before Dutchy realised she was leaving. He sat there gob smacked, this was not the Kate he knew. He knew she wouldn't be the same Kate, but what worried him the most was if the new Kate and the old Dutchy could be like old friends.
Kate entered her house, slamming the door behind her. Mike had his head in the fridge, he popped his head out the top hearing the thud of the door.
"You're home early..."
She flopped onto the couch, feeling defeated.
"Yeah, we're not as close as you thought..."
He joined her on the couch, trying to think of something helpful to say.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
She couldn't take the concern any longer, he was supposed to be her partner, someone who knew when to push what button, but at this moment she couldn't stand being in the same room as him.
"Seriously, Mike, do you listen to anything I say? I've wanted to talk about everything, but you don't seem to think it's a good idea!"
He held his hands up in surrender, feeling like he couldn't do anything right.
"Sorry, I just don't want to push you, I'm just trying to figure out how I can help you."
"If you're not going to be honest with me, then you can't!"
She jumped up from the couch and stormed to the bedroom, Mike knew he should leave her, but he couldn't help himself, he ran in front of her, blocking the door.
"Kate..."
She let out a frustrated growl and spun round, grabbing her bag as she stormed out of the house, slamming the door.
Kate sat at her desk furiously typing, her fingers slamming into the keys. Maxine walked past her office, she peered in not expecting to see Kate. Knocking on her door, she cautiously poked her head in, worried about the lost expression on Kate's face.
"Kate?"
She jumped hearing Maxine's voice.
"Oh, afternoon, Ma'am…"
Maxine entered the office, closing the door behind her.
"What are you doing here? Isn't this supposed to be your weekend?"
"Ah, just needed to work, Ma'am…"
Kate focused back on the laptop, hoping she would get the message to leave her alone. Maxine could tell something was bothering her, she reached over the desk and closed the lid of the laptop.
"Kate."
Kate sighed and glanced up to her, then back down to the desk. Maxine placed herself in the chair opposite her.
"What's going on?"
She didn't want to cry, not in front of her boss. She was afraid if she broke down Maxine would think coming back to work was too much for her, but in fact, it was the one thing keeping her sane. Taking a deep breath in, Kate brought her eyes up to meet hers.
"Nothing…"
Maxine raised an eyebrow and let out a chuckle.
"Kate, I'm not your boss right now, I just want to make sure you're okay."
"Oh yeah, a part from the missing six years, I'm great, actually, you know what you could do to help me?"
Maxine was hopeful it was something realistic, Kate fiddled with the pen on her desk, unsure how honest Maxine was going to be.
"Why did you give me this job? And no sugar coating."
"Because you were the best person for the position, Kate."
"Really? Not because you felt sorry for me, or Dr Bowen suggested it would help me recover faster?"
Maxine's brow wrinkled, she hesitated for a moment before answering.
"Huh? Dr Bowen? Kate, you were working here before your accident."
Kate stared at her blankly trying to comprehend Maxine's response, unable to deal with the information she grabbed her bag and ran out the door, leaving Maxine confused.
Kate sat in her car trying to calm her mind before starting the ignition. Driving towards the beach she felt a heavy sensation in her chest, her heart raced. Pulling over she flipped the visor down to check her face, it was pale and sweaty. Closing her eyes, she wound down the window to catch some sea breeze. A vision flashed into her her mind, she was in a car, it was dark, the wind howled around her, and she was saturated.
A knock on her window snapped her out of her head, she rubbed her hands over her face hoping she didn't look crazy. Slowly turning her head, she exhaled as she recognised Dutchy's face. Rolling down her window, she placed a smile on her face.
"Dutchy, hi…"
"Ah, hi, umm, I saw your car and, well, I just wanted to come over and…"
"And make sure I was okay?"
"Well, you stormed off from lunch, and it didn't feel right."
She knew she needed to talk, she didn't want to talk to the doctor, and for some reason Mike wasn't the answer either. Unlocking the doors and quickly glanced in the mirror to check her face. Dutchy slid into the seat next to her, conscious of her erratic behaviour.
"So, I'm not going to ask you if you're okay, but why are you sitting here looking like you're going to burst into tears?"
"Mike and I had a fight, well, more like I yelled."
"Oh, sorry… I can leave if you want some time alone."
She sighed, raking her hands through her hair.
"I just don't know why I keep snapping…"
"Because you're frustrated, and it's totally understandable."
"He's a good person, right?"
Dutchy hesitated, thrown by her question.
"What makes you ask that?"
"Well, I saw Maxine today, she told me I was working at N.A.V.C.O.M before the accident."
"Oh, ah, yeah, because you found out your were pregnant. Look, Kate, Mike has never been great at articulating feelings, little own trying to handle other people's. But you guys have a kid together, you're a family, he should be the one you talk to. Don't get me wrong, I love that you're talking to me but…"
Kate's eyes darted over to him, giving him the once over. His face wrinkled, unsure why she was staring.
"What?"
"You just don't strike me as the advice guy, that's all."
"Well, as you will find out, I'm full of surprises…"
End Chapter 2.