Laying I bed with Beck I frowned noticing he was oddly quiet "what's up with you?" I question playing with his fingers as he tightens his grip on me "Nothing, it's just..." he glances down at me as I gaze up at him "nothing".
I nod as a beat of silence passes between us "so did you get your SAT scores?" Beck asks as I lean down and pick up the folded piece of paper out of my bag that lay on the floor next to Beck's bed "here" I say handing him the paper as he reads it wide-eyed.
"wow, those last-minute studies with Red paid off huh," Beck said with a grin as I shrugged taking the paper back and dropping it on the floor carelessly "it's no biggie" Beck raises an eyebrow at me and pushes himself up to rest against the headboard.
"No biggie? You'll have a bunch of colleges wanting to accept you and it's no biggie?" I shrug again and get out of his pulling my clothes back on trying to avoid his stare, there was no way I could explain to him I was a Slayer and needed to remain in Sunnydale to... slay… things.
"Let's not think about that right now. We've got my birthday, Prom, Graduation," I began as I sat down on the edge of Beck's bed as he stared at me looking troubled "My mom wants us to move back to Australia to care of my gran" I stop talking instantly as Beck drops that bombshell on me.
"Nikki? Baby?" Beck calls as I feel blood surging to my ears "when?" I whisper trying to neglect the tears threatening to build up "Next week" I hear Beck gulp sadly like he didn't want to tell me "how long have you known?" I question stoically "3 weeks" I let out a short bitter laugh as I stood up immediately.
Picking up my bag I placed my dirty clothes, textbooks and other things back in it as Beck tries to grab my hand "but I can stay, I'll find a place, I'll get a job" he scrambles as I shove my bag over my shoulder "Uh I gotta get to the library Giles is waiting for me but we'll talk later" I tell him stiffly as I walk out the door with him calling my name.
Spike makes his way to his old burned-out factory. The place is a shambles, although the great where Giles started the fire is essentially intact, just scorched.
Spike strolls through the area, stepping over the strewn chairs while singing a few bars from 'My Way' "And more / Much more than this / I did it my way" he belted out loudly as he hops merrily down the stairs to the bedroom in the basement.
"Drusilla! I'm home!" he calls out loud as he reaches the bottom he breaks out into a pathetic fit of giggles which quickly turn to sobs. He sniffs a few times and wipes his nose on his sleeve.
He sees what's left of the burned bed and steps up to it, steadying himself on a pillar. In despair, he tosses his liquor bottle onto the bed and steps around the column.
From there he sees Drusilla's doll collection that didn't survive the fire piled on her dresser, all badly scorched. He reaches for one and picks it up. The features on its fine porcelain face can still be made out, but the paint, hair, and dress are long gone.
Spike stares at the doll intensely "Why did you do it, baby? Why did you leave me? We were happy here" He tries to suppress a sob and shakes it off, and suddenly he's wearing his game face.
He roars at the doll angrily and throws it hard down at the concrete floor. He spins around, looking for something to smash it with. He finds a tall iron candlestick, grabs it and wields it back.
"YOU..." he swings the candlestick "STUPID..." he swings again "WORTHLESS..." he takes another swing "BITCH!" he calms down and breaths out "Look what you've done to me" He stares down at what's left of the doll, its delicate porcelain features smashed and scattered, limbs torn and singed then he drops the iron candlestick on top of it.
Seeing Willow, Oz, Cordy, and Xander stood in a group by Cordelia's locker I tried to make my way past them without being seen "Hey. So what's the verdict? Do we bowl?" I heard Xander question Cordelia with a pleading look as I get closer.
Cordelia just sighs and nods "We bowl" Xander pumps his fist and accidentally steps into my line of walking "Nikkster, hey! Do you and Beck wanna go on a group date?" he asked looking excited as the others glanced as me "It's bowling, we're all going" Willow adds on looking just as cheerful.
"I would rather tear out my own eyeballs" I muttered moving around Xander and walking off only to hear my name being called "Nikki wait!" I spun to see Cordelia trying to catch up with me as I huffed in annoyance trying to keep the anger and tears in from earlier.
Cordelia's eyes traced over my face as her hands rested on my shoulders "You look upset" her face soon changes into panic "Oh god, do we need to do the breathing exercises again because I can totally do that" she says as she breathes in a pattern.
A small grin appears on my face "I'm not having a panic attack Cordy" I tell her as she lets go of my shoulders "but thanks" I mumble in appreciation "so what's wrong?" she asks innocently as I roll my head trying again to calm down.
"You can tell me you know" Cordy smiles at me and I nod knowingly we had become friends since the who Angel thing but I was still me and I hated looking weak, bring up my finger I pointed at her accusingly and a threat was on the tip of my tongue.
"Tell no one or you'll maim and kill me yadda yadda" Cordelia waved off my usual threat looking at me concerned "spit it out Summers" I sigh clenching my jaw "Beck's moving back to Australia" Cordelia instantly gasps and grabs my hand in hers "I'm sorry".
I give her a bitter smile as I pull away "Yeah, me too" I tell her as I turn around and walked away leaving her behind me as I made my way to the library where my sister and Giles were talking, opening the door a little I stopped hearing Giles' question "Are you planning on seeing Angel?".
"Yes. Actually, I am" Buffy answers as my stomach tightens angrily "Look, but there's not gonna be any rash" Buffy pauses getting a look from Giles "Anywhere" she answers defensively.
Buffy sighs and visibly deflates "Okay. We're, we're friends. That's all either of us wants. Nothing's gonna happen,".
I watch as the two stand in silence before Giles put his hands in his pockets "have you talked to your sister?" Buffy shakes her head slowly throwing her arms up "Giles, Nikki won't even look at me let alone speak to me, she hasn't been home in days and mom's asking questions,".
"He hurt her Buffy," Giles said simply as my twin looks defeated "but it wasn't Angel" she pouted as my fists clenched trying not to scream out in anger, I didn't want them to know I was spying.
"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I'm uh, uh, afraid that it is still a duck," Giles literates as my sister puts her head into her hands "what do I do Giles?".
Closing the door I leaned against the door thinking about what I had just heard, my sister knew now what happened but she still wanted to be friends with Angel, maybe it was time I took matters into my own hands?.
Pulling the old red book out of my bag I flipped through the pages and knew If I wanted to take out Angel I needed to practice more "Giles I gotta go" I heard Buffy call as I turned in circles trying to find a place to hide before she saw me.
Quickly ducking behind the door as she pushed it open I slipped into the library undetected just as Buffy leaves "Oh Nicola" Giles greets in shock as I place my bag onto the table "Buffy just..." Giles started to point towards the door I came through looking confused.
"I wanna practice," I tell the watcher as he eyes the book I've placed in front of him "You know you shouldn't be forcing it" he explains softly as I take my jacket off "I'm not".
We had already gone over the basics of my telekinesis; I knew it was anger that triggered it but once anger left my body, my power did too so I needed to learn how to use it constantly.
Squaring my shoulders I look at Giles with a tense jaw "I couldn't protect myself the first time and I'll be damned if I'm ever that weak again,".
Giles watched me for a moment before removing his tweed blazer "are you sure?" he questioned as I rolled my neck cracking it "hit me with your best shot".
Willow nervously sits on the edge of Drusilla's old bed, fidgeting with her hands wondering if her friends had figured out that someone had kidnapped her and Xander. Spike suddenly dumps a box full of supplies on the bed next to an unconscious Xander.
"A spell. For me. You're gonna do a spell for me," The vampire tells Willow as she gulps "Uh, what kind of spell?" Spike sighs angrily "A love spell! Are you brain dead?" he goes to the dresser "I'm gonna get what's mine" he grabs a bottle and uncorks it "Teach her to walk out on me,".
He takes several good swallows, then looks over at Willow "What are you staring at?" he growls as Willow averts her eyes "Nothing" she squeaks out "You can do it, right? You can make Dru love me again? Make her crawl!".
"I-I can try" the redhead stutters until Spike grabs her neck "What are you talking about, trying? You'll do it!" Willow nods quickly in agreement "Yes, I'll do it!" He lets go of her and breaks his bottle against a bedpost, he grabs her again and threatens her with the sharp edges.
"You lie to me, and I'll shove this through your face! You want that?" Willow shakes terrified as tears roll down her cheeks "No..." Spike waves the broken bottle in front of her "Right through to your BRAIN!"
"No, please, no..." He shoves her aside and leans against the bedpost, calming down "She wouldn't even kill me" he says dropping the broken bottle as he walks around Willow and sits down next to her.
"She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire," he lets out a sad sniff "I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?" He pauses for a moment to inhale and exhale deeply.
"It was that truce with Buffy that did it and saving the birdie. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care,". Spike paused looking in a trance.
"So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting,"
He looks at Willow's young face and strokes her silky auburn hair passively making the young girl jump in fear "She only did it to hurt me," he takes his hand off of her "So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends".
Spike leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder confusing the redhead "God, I'm so unhappy!" Willow tentatively pats his knee "There, there" she supposed she had experience with comforting volatile people because of Nikki's unpredictable nature and figured comforting Spike would be no different.
"I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel?" Spike wailed as he raises his head and looks at her neck "Mmm. That smell... Your neck..." He leans in to take a better whiff and then leans back, now in his game face "I haven't had a woman in weeks".
Willow looks at him and jumps up in fright "Whoa! No! Hold it!" she calls out as Spike also stands "Well, unless you count that shopkeeper," Willow pants with fright "Now, now, hold on! I-I'll do your spell for you, and, and, and I'll get you, Drusilla, back, but, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind with me. Alright?".
He grabs her by the neck and looms over her but makes no move to bite her, instead he reverts to his human guise "Alright" he clucks pushing her away "Get started" Willow steps around the bed to where Spike dumped the box of supplies.
"Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I-I don't know if this is gonna work right away," Spike sucks on his teeth annoyed "Well, if at first, you don't succeed, I'll kill him" he nods at the still unconscious Xander "and you try again,".
Willow looks through the supplies "This isn't enough" she tells the unpredictable blond vampire "What?" he shouts as he comes toward her "Well, there are other ingredients, a-and a-a-a book. I need a , a spell book. This isn't it" she answers nervously.
"You've got one, though, at home?" Spike questions her as she nods then shakes her head "Not at home. I left it somewhere" Spike gets in her face "Where?".
Buffy, Cordelia, and Oz walk into the science room and look at the mess left behind "We were supposed to meet in here. I don't know what could have happened" Cordelia explains as Buffy finds Willow's botched experiment.
"What is all this stuff? I'm thinking weird science," she questions as Cordelia huffs crossing her arms "Was Willow messing with her magic tricks again? Maybe they disappeared. Maybe she turned Xander into something ishy!"
Buffy looks around dubiously "Whatever happened, there was obviously a fight" the other two looked around the classroom too "I don't see any blood" Oz mentions as Buffy nods picking up a feather.
"Yeah, either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe..." Cordelia points at the older blonde Slayer "you're having too many ors! Pick one!" Buffy shrugs with a sigh dropping the feather "I don't know. We need to find Giles"
"Where is Giles?" Cordy questioned as Buffy looks up at the clock on the wall "Uh, right now he should be at home packing before he leaves for a retreat in the clearing in Breaker's Woods,".
"Yeah, I know the spot, but it's like a forty-five-minute drive," Oz says as the girls look at him "we'll let's go and catch him before he leaves," Cordelia exclaims as the three walk out to Oz's van.
Buffy jumps out of the van once Oz stops outside Giles' apartment and strides towards the door using the spare key that was poorly hidden, opening the door she heads straight in calling Giles' name before heading for his weapons box when she realized he wasn't here.
She is interrupted by the phone and rushes over to the counter to answer it "Hello?" she greets in a rush "Hi, Buffy. I called the library but there was no answer. You girls still working out?" Her mom's voice called through the phone.
Buffy sighs and rubbed her eyes "Uh, no, Mom, actually..." she tried to explain but her mom cut her off sound excited "I was hoping that we could schedule a college talk later tonight. I admit I... overreacted before. You don't have to go all the way across the country,".
Buffy bit her lip as he mom continued the college talk "I mean your sister won't even come home now, and she lives here, god only knows if I'll see her the two of you graduate. I, um, picked up some brochures from some nearby schools for the two of you, okay?".
"That's great, but now's really not a good time..." Buffy spits out until she hears a voice that is not her mothers on the other side "Hello, Joyce" Buffy's eyes widen with recognition and her expression soon turns to horror when she realizes that it's Spike.
She drops the phone and runs from the library as only a Slayer can, hoping a praying that this was the one day that her sister decided to actually come home.
Breathing tiredly from my telekinetic sparing session with Giles who immediately left for his retreat once we were done I walked through my front door deciding it was probably a good time to show my face at home once again, dropping my stuff by the stairs I walked through to the kitchen.
"Angel, why don't you come on in?" I hear my sister say as I push open the door to see Buffy pining Spike to the counter and Angel stepping through the back door "what the hell Buffy!" I shout as Mom moves to stand by me looking scared.
Pushing her behind me I glare at all the other occupants in the room "Nikki..." Angel starts as Buffy looks at him sadly before turning back to Spike "You shouldn't have come back, Spike".
"I do what I please" Spike grunts as I feel mom grabbing my arm "Okay, I-I'm confused again" she whispers as Spike makes a grab for Buffy's arm. Angel takes Spike's arm, yanks it off of Buffy and pins it to the island.
Buffy grabs a wooden stirring spoon and makes a move to stake him "Willow!" Spike calls out desperately as Buffy's arm stops above his chest "You took Willow" my sister questions as I feel Angel's gaze on me again.
"You do me now, you'll never find the little witch" Spike grins as Mom once again pulls my arm "Willow's a witch?" I just shake my head and hold her closer "And Xander?" Buffy questions the blond vampire who just grins again "Him, too".
"What, Xander's a witch? I..." Mom rambles as Angel grabs Spike by the coat and lifts him off of the island "Where are they?" Spike shoves Angel off him "Doesn't work like that, peaches. And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that,".
Spike looks at Buffy "Your friend's gonna work a little magic for me. She does my spell, I let them both go," I grit my teeth crossing my arms "You're not famous for keeping your promises, Spike".
Spike glances over at me his face not betraying any emotion as he gave me a once over "and here I thought we had something special Birdie," my eye twitched at the nickname as Spike turns back to my sister "Well, you and your great poof here wanna tag along, that's fine. But you get in my way, and you kill your friends,".
Mom gasps as Spike walks over towards us and moves out of the way as Spike pushes his way between me and the door frame "Nice seeing you again, little bird" he whispered as his face leaned down to mine before leaving.
Controlling my breathing I turned back to my sister who was observing me "What is he doing here?" I questioned fiercely nodding at Angel as Buffy bristled at my tone "After everything you're just gonna let him back in?".
"Nikki, please?" Buffy started as she tried to grab my arms until I held her wrists tight in my grip "Please? That's all your going to say? Please?" I mocked as my hands tightened on her wrists as she let out a pained gasp.
"Stop" Angel muttered placing a hand on each of our shoulders and pushing us apart "Don't touch me!" I screamed at the vampire pushing him away from me "You know what he did! You know how he hurt me, he hurt Giles and you just invite him back in like its nothing?" I hiccuped feeling my mom move closer to me again.
"What is she talking about Buffy? What did he do?" Mom stressed as the room went quiet for a moment "You wanna know mom, you really wanna know?" I challenged hearing Buffy's breath hitch.
"Nikki... I'm sorry.." Angel pleaded as my sister's eyes welled up with tears as she begged me with her eyes "He hurt me, mom, tortured me. He's the reason I'm like this. He's the reason I was in the hospital and Buffy jumped on a greyhound" I admit in one long breath, feeling numb I turn to my mom as a lone tear slide down my cheek "so now you know".
Walking away from everyone I turned back to face a sullen looking Angel "Stay away from me, if I see you again i'll kill you and this time you won't come back".
Oz and Cordelia speed along the road to Breaker's Woods hoping to find Giles "What if they were kidnapped by Colombian drug lords? They could be cutting off Xander's ear right now! Or other parts" Cordelia cries out remembering that documentary Nikki made her watch.
Oz sniffs the air and stops the van "Hello?" Cordy questions but Oz sniffs the air some more "It's Willow. She's nearby" the redheaded boy explains as Cordelia looks at him confused "What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume".
"She's afraid," Oz says simply as he puts the van in reverse and backs up a bit "Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing" Cordy complains looking put out "I really agree" Oz mutters as he puts the van in drive and turns down a side street.
Buffy kicks the door open and they walk in. There is yellow police tape stretched across the room, separating the counter and the shelves of merchandise from the entry area.
"Your work?" she questions quietly still reeling from what happened back at her house, she yanks down the police tape and tosses it aside "Here's your list" Spike comments as he hands it to Buffy.
"'Essence of violet, cloves...' Angel?" the older vampire nods at the Slayer and starts looking "Right" Buffy glances back down at the list "'Set of runic tablets.' Spike can get the rat's eyes" She mutters rolling her eyes.
She and Spike also look for ingredients "I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper," Spike frowned with nostalgia making Buffy huff "Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back,".
"The spell's gonna get her back," Spike hit back as Angel shrugs "Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you," Spike's eyes widened as he pointed at his grandsire "Shut your gob!" Angel didn't listen "She really is just kind of fickle,".
"SHUT UP!" Spike roared as he runs at Angel, turns him around and punches him in the face. Angel grabs his arm in mid-swing before he can do it again. Buffy grabs him from behind, and between her and Angel, Spike gets thrown back, though he manages to keep his footing.
"What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me," He yells before letting out a sad sob "I'm nothing without her," Buffy glances at the blond vampire in disgust "That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser,".
"Yeah. You're one to talk" Spike comments as he goes back to looking for stuff as Buffy raises her eyebrow "Meaning?" Spike faces the duo as they look at him annoyed "The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave," he turns away again.
"I don't know what you're talking about" Buffy lied as she tried to brush off Spike's comments making him laugh "Oh, yeah. You're just friends" Angel huffs getting annoyed too "That's right" although he knew he and the Slayer would never be 'just friends'
Spike spins around and faces them "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends,".
He points at his temple "Love isn't brains, children, its blood..." he clasps his chest "blood screaming inside you to work its will," Neither Buffy nor Angel want to hear this and it shows on their faces "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it,".
He turns his attention back to finding Willow's ingredients. Buffy's eyes almost meet Angel's, but she quickly averts them. Spike spots what he's looking for "Hmm!" He grabs the bottle with a smirk "Eye of rat".
After borrowing mom's car I drove towards the only place I knew Spike might take Willow and Xander, I couldn't stay home whilst my mom questioned me about what happened. I only told her about Angel to spite Buffy but now it's biting me in the ass.
Pulling up to the factory Spike had taken over before I noticed Oz's van parked outside "Ok so the gangs all here" I muttered getting out of the car and jogging into the factory listening out for any sign of Cordelia's complaining, that's how we usually get found or seen.
Rounding a corner I see the backs of two people who are huddled together, rolling my eyes I grab Cordy's should making her jump "God Nikki!" she called pulling me into a hug "I'm so happy to see you here" she admits before pushing me in front of her and Oz "now you lead".
Rolling my eyes I let Cordelia hang onto me as I lead them through the factory towards the snippets of voices I can here "Down there" I tell Oz and Cordelia as we bound down the creaky stairs to see Xander and Willow curled up together on a bed kissing.
"Oh, God!" Cordelia gasps sounding broken as Willow immediately rolls off of Xander, and they us standing in front of them "Oh, God" Xander repeats in shock as I put my hand on Cordelia's arm.
"Oh, God, Oz..." Willow whimpers as said boy looks at her emotionless "We have to get outta here" Cordelia looking heartbroken runs up the stairs "Cordy, I..." Xander starts as I turn and run after my friend.
Just as she gets just over half-way up, the charred stairs give beneath her running feet, and she falls into the space below "Cordy!" I shout as the others scrambles up the steps towards me "Cordelia!" Xander shouts moving next to me as we all peered down through the gaping hole.
"Cordelia!" I call as she barely moves, just turning her head to look up through the hole "I fell..." she whispers as I look down at her abdomen, where a long piece of rusty iron rebar is protruding from her left side, just under her rib cage.
"Don't move Cordy, I'll get you out" I call to her as I stand trying not to panic as Willow and Xander's previous endeavors are forgotten, at least for now "What are we going to do?" Willow asks me as I bend down by the hole "I'm going down there" I tell her as she looks at me concerned "Be careful".
I nodded and jumped down next to Cordelia who hold her hand out to grab mine "I'm here Cordy, don't worry" taking off my jacket I place it over here before looking around "we're gonna need some actual experts here, Oz go get some help!" I call up to Oz who nods and takes off.
"what about us? What can we do?" Xander questions as I send him a look "I think you've both done enough" I hiss feeling Cordelia squeeze my hand "Nikki?" she gasps weakly as he eyes rolled around blankly "I can't see you..."
Her head rolls to the side and she exhales "Oh god, Cordy, wake up!" I shout at the brunette but she doesn't move "Cordelia!".
"So Cordelia's gonna be okay?" Buffy asks her best friend as she and Willow walk down the street "She lost a lot of blood. None of her vitals were punctured. They said Nikki did the right thing by not removing the metal bar from her stomach".
"Has she talked to Xander yet?" Buffy questions as Willow pulls a face and shakes her head "He's gonna see her today" the blonde nods with a grimace knowing her next question "and Oz?"
Willow sighs with a frown "I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad. For the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted everything. And now... I just... I just want him to talk to me again".
"Just give it some time. And be prepared for some groveling" Buffy advises as the redhead nods knowingly "Oh, I'm ready. I'm all over groveling" Buffy smiles at her friend "Good. Because, you know, I hear sometimes it works".
"So what are you gonna do about the Angel thing? Now that Nikki's told your mom I doubt you'll be seeing him so much?" Willow guesses as Buffy shrugs, her feelings were all over the place she had no idea what to do.
Pulling my converse underneath me I shifted in the small armchair next to Cordelia's bed watching over her as she slept, hearing a knock at the door her eyes open and we both see Xander standing there holding a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Can I come in?" he asks Cordy, but she ignores him so he comes in anyway "Want me to leave?" I asked my friends as her eyes lock onto mine as she shakes her head, glancing at Xander I just shrugged and made myself more comfortable.
"They wouldn't let me see you until now" Xander explains as he lays the bouquet on the table where she can see them "Those are flowers," he tells her dumbly as he sits in the chair next to me as Cordelia slowly turns her head to face him.
Trying to look anywhere but at the two of them I began to feel uncomfortable, god I hate hospitals, but I needed to be here for Cordelia "Look, Cordy, I want you to know that I...".
Cordelia glances at Xander "Xander?" she says sounding weak causing a smile to grow on Xander's face "Yeah" he answers sounding hopeful until the girl gives him a small tired glare "Stay away from me".
She turns her head back to look blankly at the wall as Xander glances at me for help but all I could do was shrug helplessly as he gets up to go. At the door, he looks back one final time, before heading down the hall.
Once he's gone, Cordelia cries to herself. Slipping off my shoes I climb onto the bed and lay behind her placing my arm over her carefully feeling her push back into my embrace as her body shook from her crying.
I hated hospitals, I hated feelings, but I was a sucker for loyalty and right now as much as we used to dislike each other she needed me "Miss. Chase?" A nurse whispers walking into Cordelia's room about an hour later, seeing Cordy's eyes closed she looks at me "Visiting hours are over".
Pulling myself from the hospital bed I slipped my shoes back on before walking to the door, looking back at my friends sleeping form I could help but think about the last time I was here and why.
Walking out of the hospital the nights events hit me and I wanted to forget everything, ugh feelings, walking towards the cemetery I figured I could use something to help unleash my anger, after losing my boyfriend, seeing Angel and Spike again, even to Cordelia getting hurt I think I deserved a punching bag for the night.
Walking between headstone I crept further into the graveyard hoping to find someone dead lurking around, Buffy and Faith had probably already been through this area though as it's their night to patrol "well, well.. the baby Slayer" a rough voice came from behind me.
Whirling around I raised my eyebrow in disgust "baby Slayer?" The vampire just laughed at my obvious annoyance of his words "now that's not nice but don't worry I'll beat some manners into you" I jeered as his face fell at my harsh words as I removed my blood stained jacket.
Getting ready to fight I frown when the vamp suddenly laughs again "Is that right?" I nodded until I noticed a few other vampires appear out of the shadows "how about now" the first vamp laughed as I gritted my teeth.
Throwing my coat at the vampire, catching him off guard, and I give a front snap kick to his gut as he falls immediately to the ground. Another vampire rushes me, and I do a full spinning wheel kick to his face.
A vampire swings at me, but I duck it and punch him in the gut but he recovers quickly and front snap kicks me in the chest, sending me flying onto the floor landing hard on my back.
Another vampire enters the fray wielding a length of pipe "Oh come on!" I call as he swings it down at me but I roll out of the way picking up a stray rack that had been left propped up against one of the graves, next to a pile of sharp looking sticks.
Shoving it through the chest of the vampire as he thrusts his arms back to swing the pipe at me he quickly turns to ashes "one down, three to go" I call as I spin the rake around in my hands.
My cocky tone soon stops when the remaining three vampires all rush at me, sending me to the floor where they all begin to pummel me. Closing my eyes tightly I send my arm up causing them all to fly in different directions "I did it!" I cheered remembering my lesson with Giles.
Picking up the rake I break it over my knee so both ends are pointy "it's not Mr. Pointy but it'll do" I comment as two of the vampires run at me again, jumping and rolling over one's back I push myself in between the two and thrust the stick side to side staking them both.
Turning back to where the first vampire was now cowering at me "You're the one with the power" smirking as I once again cockily twirled my makeshift stake as I nodded with a grin "Yep, I've got the power".
I watch as the vampire gets up and tries to run off before I throw the stake like a javelin hitting him in the back and turning him into dust, looking around at the piles of dust I feel more confident now than I had in months.
"Nikki" a familiar voice calls and I suddenly wished I hadn't thrown 'excessively big new Mr. Pointy' at that vamp "Angel" I greeted back spinning around to see the depressed vampire watching me from the shadows like a creep.
"please just let me.." Angel began as he walked towards me "i just wanted to say I'm sorry," frowning at the vampire I looked at him incredulous "You're sorry?" he nodded at my words "Do you even remember what you did because I do, even now, when I close my eyes at night all I can feel is your hands on me," I hiss at him as he closes his eyes looking upset "my skin crawls just hearing your name,".
"That wasn't me," He whispered as my face drops "I didn't have my soul, I was another person, that was Angelus he was obsessed with you, with having you. I remember everything too, the feeling of seeing you cry out for help, watching Drusilla trick you, I remember the feeling of my hands on your skin".
My breath hitched as I tried to push down my nausea as I remembered all those things too "With or without your soul it was still you" I argued as my voice wavered, I would not cry because of him again "stay away from me" I demanded turning away "Wait Nikki, please" Angel begged as I felt him grab my arms.
Spinning around, I pushed him away from me before lifting my hand up and sending him across the cemetery "I told you not to touch me" I said breathing heavily as Angel groaned trying to stand "I told you to leave me alone" watching Angel stand up slowly "I also told you that if I saw you again I'd kill you".
"Angel?" my ears perked up hearing my sisters voice lifting up my hand once again I saw Angel's eye widen at the array of wooden stakes hovering in the air behind me before his eyes met mine "if this is what you need to do to feel better, then I won't stop you".
"Nikki! NO!" I hear as I smirked at Angel "Like you could" throwing my arm forward I growl as Buffy tackles Angel out of the way of the flying stakes all aimed towards his heart, looking around I noticed Xander, Willow and Faith all looking at me in shock.
Buffy got up and stalked towards me opening her mouth to talk I put my hand up towards her "Don't B, just don't. As long as you're saving him and he's in your life, I won't be" I tell my older sister who looks at me heartbroken as I turn around and walk away.
Angel sits in the atrium waiting for Buffy to arrive knowing she'd want to talk to him about what happened with Nikki, he knew he shouldn't have followed the younger Slayer but he just couldn't stop himself.
When he hears her footsteps he turns to see her step through the makeshift door and stop just inside the atrium "Hey" he stands up smiling softly at the blonde "I was wondering when you were coming".
Buffy eyed him carefully "I'm not coming back," Angel just looks at her as she begins to explain "We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. What I want from you I can never have, not after everything. I can't lose my sister because of how I feel and you don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go,".
"I don't accept that" Angel comments as Buffy sighs looking at him seriously "You have to" Angel shakes his head "How can..." He takes a step toward her, and she backs away "There's gotta be some way we can still see each other".
"There is: tell me that you don't love me" Knowing that saying those words would be a lie, Angel instead says nothing "Ok, tell me you can stay away from Nikki? That even with your soul you still feel the need to be around her" After a long moment, Buffy turns and goes back into the mansion and leaves.
Angel sits down on the edge of one of the flower beds, staring sadly out into space, she was right, even with his soul Angel was struggling with the feelings he had for Nikki.
It was like someone turned a switch on once he lost his soul and after getting it back the switch didn't turn off; he wanted to be around the younger Slayer. All those possessive feeling Angelus felt for Nikki he felt them too.
In Willow's room the redhead sits on the floor against her bed, her knees drawn up to her chest and her toes pointed inward, staring at her PEZ witch as she idly plays with it.
Oz sits on one of the pool tables in the Bronze, his guitar in hand, but unable to play as he, too, stares sadly off into space.
Xander tries to make himself useful re-shelving books in the library. He takes an armful of them into the cage and sorts them onto the re-shelving cart. He stops for a moment, leans against the cart and stares out into the room beyond the cage.
Cordelia lies still in her bed with her right hand against her temple, stroking herself there as she stares blankly at the ceiling.
Buffy stands outside Angel's mansion as she looks at the building she knew so well, wondering whether or not she made the right choice.
Faith lay in bed mentally cursing Buffy and Angel as she stroked the younger blonde hair as she lay with her head into Faith's chest sleeping soundly.