Smiling down at the gift I had just purchased I knew Faith would love it "Hey B; I just got Faith the perfect..." walking closer I was about to show her the gift when I saw her talking to a very familiar vampire.
"Nikki" Angel breathed as my fists tightened around Faith's gift "Angel" I greeted stoically as my sister just looked between us quietly "You look..." my jaw clicked at his attempt at a conversation.
Angel grimaced, stopping himself as Buffy continues to watch us like a child being told to sit in the naughty corner, Angel's attention is soon diverted to behind Buffy and me.
"Um, we'd better go before the magic store closes" Buffy stutters as she sighs to softly, but Angel is still distracted, turning my head I see nothing behind us but people none of who were looking our way.
Buffy notices Angel's distraction too, "Angel?" She calls, but the vampire is still stood frozen, Buffy looks behind herself then turns her concerned attention back to Angel "What is it?".
Angel is frozen with fear, and that honestly frightened me, what did he have to be so afraid of that made him like this. Looking into his eyes, I was shocked to see the amount of fear they held, I've never seen him like this.
Glancing at my sister I raised an eyebrow wondering what we should do, but as soon as she steps forward to place a hand on Angel's shoulder, he takes off leaving my twin and me behind.
"that the weirdest thing I've ever seen," Buffy tells me as I narrow my eyes at her "really that's the weirdest thing? Have you seen your bangs," I told her dryly as she glares at me, "Hey, I told you not to cut them, but you didn't listen."
Buffy pushed past me with a pout, "I thought they looked cute" I snorted walking after her as we made our way towards the Magic Box "You thought wrong sister."
Sitting with Cordelia in the student lounge, I smile while listening to her telling me about her trip to Aspen "So enough about me, how are you doing without Beck?" I sigh at my friend's question knowing she truly cared instead of being nosey.
I shrugged placing my feet on the coffee table "It's hard but I lived before him, and I'll live after him" I told her honestly, I loved Beck, but I wasn't going to become a hermit because he was gone.
"Oh god," Cordy muttered, looking over my shoulder looking uncomfortable, "What?" I questioned turning to see Buffy, Willow, and Xander heading our way, "Wanna leave?" I offer, but she shrugs and instantly her demeanor changes.
Buffy takes her bag over to the Holiday Food Drive collection box behind the couches and starts pulling cans of food out of her bag and putting them in the box as Willow and Xander sit on the couch opposite us.
Xander eyes Cordy nervously before turning to Willow "Well, I'll be enjoying my annual Christmas Eve camp-out. See, I take my sleeping bag outside, and I go to sleep on the grass" he calls out with false heartiness.
Cordelia stands up but makes no move to leave as Willow shrugs looking awkward at Xander's obviousness "Sounds fun" Xander shrugs his head unfazed "Yeah, I like to look at the stars, you know? Feel the whole nature vibe".
Cordelia smiles smugly "I thought you slept outside to avoid your family's drunken Christmas fights" chocking on the sip of Dr. Pepper I just took I noticed Xander giving her a look as he expected no less from her.
"Yes. And that was a confidence I was hoping you would share with everyone" He smiled sarcastically as Buffy walks over questioning me with her eyes, I just shrug and continue drinking my soda.
"Well, I'll be in Aspen. Skiing. With actual snow" My friend brags as the other three just watch her uncaring "I hear that helps" Buffy quips standing behind the couch Xander's seething form.
"It must be a drag to be stuck here in Sweatydale, but I'm thinking of you. Okay, I'm done" She turns to leave wearing a shark smile, well-satisfied with her results.
"Oh Nikki, thank you for my gift it was lovely" Cordy says spin back on her heel to grin at me "Ditto" I smile touching the beautiful silver pendant around my neck that was currently replacing the silver cross Buffy gave me.
We all watched silently as Cordy leaves once again "She certainly has reverted to form" My sister muttered as Willow sighed "It's not her fault. Mm, after what happened, we gotta cut her some slack".
Raising an eyebrow at the redhead, I frowned confused, "That's the Christmas spirit?" Willow rolls her eyes at me, "Hello Jewish. Chanukah spirit, I believe that was? Anyway, forgiveness is pretty much a big theme with me this year, 'cause of the..."
She stops when she sees Oz walking up to us, he glances over at Xander, who slinks down into his seat, looking uncomfortable. Oz turns his attention to Willow and gives her a tentative smile, "Hey."
Willow looks at him hopefully "Hey" the two gaze at each other for a moment before Oz realizes we're all watching "Can I talk to you?" Willow nods quickly and follows the other redhead into a classroom "10 bucks they get back together" I call out as Buffy drops down into the seat next to me.
"Well at the least I'm not the only one single now," Xander says before realizing what he said when Buffy and I turned to glare at him "Woah I'm single because my Ex-boyfriend moved back to Australia to help his dying grandmother."
Buffy smiles at me sympathetically before I point to her "and Buffy's single because her Ex-boyfriend is a psychotic 300-year-old vampire who lost his soul and went on a killing rampage. You, on the other hand, are single because you are an idiot".
Glancing around the Christmas tree lot trying to find the right one I sneezed when fake snow tickled my nose. Buffy and Mom walk through trying to find the right one as I follow behind, hoping this year would be better than last year after getting arrested for accidentally killing a robot.
Off to one side, the tree merchant is spraying fake snow onto a tree making me grimace as the 'snow' flew in my face again, Mom looks over one of the snowed trees "Do you wanna get one with snow on it? Be very Christmasy".
"It would also be very messy" I huffed trying to flap the snow away from my face as we continue through the tree lot, "I think those are just for display," Buffy says as we reach one of the large green trees.
"Oh. You know, girls, I was thinking. Maybe we should invite Faith to spend Christmas Eve with us" Mom explains as I smile widely at her nodding until Buffy sighs "I don't know. Faith and I don't really hang out. Or talk or make eye contact lately".
"Well she seems to talk to Nikki alright plus do you really wanna let her spend Christmas Eve all by herself in that dingy little motel room?" Mom gives me a wink when Buffy smiles softly "You're still number one with a guilt trip, Mom."
"I try" Mom grins at us "We'll ask her" Buffy gives in as we turn to look at another tree "What about Giles? I mean, he doesn't have any fam..." Mom quickly interrupts, "No, I'm sure he's fine."
"We could at least ask him and see..." Buffy tries again but is swiftly cut off "He doesn't wanna spend Christmas Eve with a bunch of girls" I snort picking at the green tree "Yeah especially the one he bumped uglies with and now can't look each other in the eye."
Mom glares at me and takes a deep breath "Let's split up" Buffy giggles as our Mom all but runs from us "Wow first Xander and now Mom you've got it going on sis" I shrug neutrally as the two of us move through the trees "Re-Finding myself."
Watching my sister confused as she silently walks away, I notice an area where a bunch of the trees are all brown and walk over to them for a closer look. The tree merchant came up behind us "Bunch of them up and died on us. Don't know why. If you want one, I can make you a hell of a deal."
"No, thank you" My sister declines as I reach out to touch the dead tree with a frown "Oh, girls, this one's perfect!" Mom calls from a distance as Buffy, and I quickly forget about the dead tree to see what Mom has found.
Lifting my hand up, I quickly knock on the dirty blue door as Buffy stands behind me, shifting from one foot to the other "Yeah?" Faith calls out as I open the door and let myself in.
"Hey, what's up?" Faith greets from the floor as she bangs on the TV "Work, damn it!" she swears pounding on it harder, "Oh finders keepers!" I call seeing a bag of chips left open on the bed "mine" I grin jumping on top of the sheets and quickly taking the bag as Faith laughs.
Buffy closes the door looking lost as I make myself comfy "Hey" Faith gives up and turns off the TV, she stands up and faces Buffy "What's going on? Scary monsters?" my sister shakes her head quickly as they both look at me eating Faith's chips.
"No. Um, we're having Christmas Eve dinner at my house, and I thought that, um, if you didn't have plans..." Faith smiles sharply "Your mom sent you down, huh?" Buffy look taken, aback "No."
"Well, thanks, but I got plans. There's this big party I've been invited to. It should be a blast" Faith smiles evasively giving me a quick look as I opened my mouth knowing if there was actually a party going on she would have told me.
I frown at Faith as Buffy nods unconvinced "Okay. Cool. But if you change your mind, the offer..." Faith cuts her off with a sharp smile "That's nice of you. Thanks. But I got... I got that big party that I've been invited to, so..." she smiles dismayingly crossing her arms.
Buffy steps toward the door, but looks around and notices the Christmas lights that Faith has strung up around the room and nods approvingly "I like the lights" Faith huffs a laugh as she quickly looks too "Yeah. Well, 'tis the season. Whatever that means".
My sister gives me a look as she opens the door and steps out waiting for me to follow, getting up off the bed; I walked over to my best friend and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.
"Think about it, it could be fun," I smirk as she playfully snatches the chips back and pushes me out of the door with a laugh "Get out."
Giles' is in his apartment cooking dinner when there's a knock at his door, "Just a minute!" The librarian calls out as he goes to the door, opens it, and is surprised to see Angel standing there.
For a long moment, neither of them says anything "Hello" Giles greets suspiciously as Angel lingers at the door uncomfortably "Um... I'm sorry to bother you" Giles finds himself unable to keep from laughing bitterly.
"Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny 'Sorry to bother me.'" Angel grimaces at Giles' words but continues, "I need your help" Giles looks at Angel straight-faced, "And the funny keeps on coming."
Angel swallows his pride and doesn't turn away "I understand I have no right to ask for it, but there's no one else" Giles nods once in agreement "Alright" He walks back into the apartment and tosses his kitchen towel onto the counter before he heads down the hall.
Angel lets out a shaky breath as he watches Giles walk away "I... I can't come in unless you invite me" Giles returns from the hall, holding a crossbow and raising it at the ready "I'm aware of that."
He walks back to the door "Come in" slowly and not without reservation Angel steps into the apartment, Giles' aim does not waver "I've been seeing..." Angel pauses distracted.
"I've... I've had dreams lately about the past. It's... It's like I'm living it again. It's, it's so vivid, I... I need to know," He looks at Giles pleadingly, "I need to know why I'm here."
"Here? Back on Earth?" Giles questions with a raised eyebrow "I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture" Angel retorts as Giles nods in agreement "I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that."
"But I'm not. I was freed, and I don't understand why" Angel frowns pitifully "Knowing why you were back would give you peace of mind?" The librarian questions almost as if he want to deny the request, "It might."
Giles decides it's probably okay to put down his weapon and bends to his side to set the crossbow down. Behind him, Angel sees an apparition of Jenny Calendar, "You think that's something you ought to have?" Giles asks, but Angel is distracted.
Jenny looks at Angel sadly as the vampire begins to shiver with fear "Because, sir, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly."
Angel sees Jenny stroke her hand down Giles' shoulder and sigh, but Giles doesn't notice a thing. Angel begins to pant with short rapid breaths as Giles notices the look of fear on his face focused behind him.
"What?" Giles looks around his apartment, utterly unaware of Jenny's presence "Don't you see her?" Angel quivers as he sees Jenny walk around Giles, "Who?".
Angel begins to make his way to the door as Jenny follows him with her stare, he begins to freak out "I can't!" he shouts running out of the door into the night as Giles is left standing there very confused.
Leaning against Giles' desk with my arms crossed I listened to Buffy explain to our Watcher about her latest dream "You had a dream about Angel" Buffy shakes her head seriously "I was in Angel's dream."
Giles takes off his glasses "I'm not sure that's..." Buffy quickly cut Giles off "Giles, there was stuff in this dream that I couldn't possibly know about. It was Angel's past, he was dreaming it, and somehow I got sucked in".
Giles looks up at me before glancing over to my sister as I bit my lip "There's something wrong with him" Buffy whispers as Giles looks down, then draws and releases a measured breath "I know. I've seen him. He wanted to know why he was back".
"Is there a way for us to find that out?" Buffy questions sounding hopeful "Uh, possibly. I-I've been looking" he puts his glasses back on "Well, let me look, too" Giles gives Buffy an inquiring glance.
Buffy speaks with honesty, meeting Giles' coldly appraising eyes with her own steady gaze "I'm not seeing him anymore. I'm trying to put all this behind me, and I'm not gonna be able to as long as we're both doing guest spots in each other's dreams".
Giles leans back in his chair in consideration, "So we'll help him?" Buffy asks quietly as Giles thinks, "Yes," he agrees when he realizes he has no choice "Where do we start?" Xander jumps in as he walks into the office.
He gets surprised looks from Giles and Buffy, but I was too caught up in my sister wanting to help Angel "Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing, and, um, I don't know, maybe I finally got the Chanukah spirit" Xander answers abashed.
Giles stands up looking at us "Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research" he goes to a small bookcase "Xander, um, the Black Chronicles" he hands him a book "Buffy, the diary of Lucious Temple, an acolyte of Acathla, expert on demons. You can skip the passages on his garden unless you're keen on growing heartier beets" Giles hands Buffy a similar worn book.
Turning to me Giles gave me a wary smile holding another book "Uh, Nikki..." before he could give me anything or ask for my help I stood up straight "I'm sorry" I glanced at my sister "I can't, I'm... I just can't". Pushing past them, I quickly made my way out of the library.
Xander yawns in his chair behind the checkout counter and goes back to researching his book, and Willow is asleep in a chair in Giles' office where said Watcher gets up from his desk to get another book.
Buffy lay in the stacks with several books lying on the floor around her. She rolls from her side onto her back. In a flash of bright light, Buffy is lying in her bed, and she slowly opens her eyes.
Angel is sitting at her side, looking down at her, waiting for her to awaken, he reaches for Buffy's hand with his. They touch fingertips briefly before intertwining their fingers and clasping hands.
Next Buffy is facing Angel, sitting on his lap with her legs circling around his waist, they are kissing passionately, holding each other as tightly as possible, caressing each other tenderly.
Buffy tugs at Angel's shirt, and he helps her pull it up and off, baring his chest. Now it is Angel's turn to slip the satin pajama top from Buffy's shoulders; they hold each other tightly as they kiss longer and more intensely.
Buffy and Angel are lying in bed together, making tender, passionate love. They change positions as Angel rolls on top of her, the muscles of his back flexing under his tattoo.
They caress each other for several moments. Angel tenderly kisses Buffy where her neck joins her shoulder, and he slides his hand up and along her outstretched arm, reaching and clasping her hand as they continue making love.
Suddenly, over Angel's shoulder, Buffy sees the eyeless priest from her previous dream, sightlessly observing them from where he's standing at her door.
There are several sudden flashes of light as Angel removes his hands from their tender clasp and then, as a thunderclap is heard, grabs Buffy's wrists hard, forcibly pinning her down to the bed.
Buffy turns her head to look in the mirror where she can visibly see Angel's game face only it isn't Angel, it's Angelus, hearing a whimper she glances at her reflection but gasps when her sister's eyes are staring back.
"Help me" Nikki mouths to her crying as Angelus moves against her laughing wildly, Buffy shuts her eyes quickly looking up at Angel who rises over her and transforms into his vampire guise and then bites her savagely on the neck.
Buffy wakes in startled shock as she grabs at her neck feeling tears run down her cheeks at the vivid dream.
Angel wakes in the mansion and sits bolt upright, drawing a hard breath. Jenny is sitting next to him "You want her?" she purrs as Angel pants from his dream "No."
Jenny is insistent as she leans into Angel "You want her, he wants her. Take her. Take what you want. Pour all that frustration and all that guilt into her, and you'll be free".
Angel shakes his head he couldn't do that to her "No" Jenny narrows her eyes at Angel's reluctance "You can't live for eternity with all that pain. This is what you are. This is why we brought you back. Take her! And then you'll be ready..." She moves into his ear "...to kill her, to kill them both".
Walking back into the library I knew I had to be strong, the quicker we helped Angel, the faster we could get on with our lives; Buffy and Giles both turned to me surprised that I was back "The quicker we do this, the quicker he's out of our lives."
Giles nods at me looking proud, but my sister can hardly face me "Here, take a look" placing my bag down I follow him to the table where he sets a pile of very old and worn sheets of paper.
"These letters contain references to a, a, an ancient power known as The First" Giles explains as I stand next to Buffy who shifts away slightly "First what?" I question as our Watcher glance over at me "Evil. Absolute evil, older than man, than demons. It could have had the power to bring Angel back".
"These guys" Buffy picks up one of the letters with sketches of the eyeless priest "I-I saw them in my dream. I, I fell asleep up there," my sister explains quietly, "You had another dream? With Angel?" Buffy nods, looking uncomfortable, "What happened?".
"Oh, we don't need to get sidetracked" My twin answers evasively as he eyes flicker over at me "Who are these guys?" she points to the paper "Um, they're known as the, uh, as the Bringers o-o-or Harbingers. They're high priests of The First. They, uh, they can conjure spirit manifestations and set them on people, influence them, haunt them".
"These are the guys working the mojo on Angel?" Buffy questions as Xander comes out from behind the counter "We gotta stop them" I roll my eyes as he places his head on my shoulder, the boy was always clingy after a sleep.
"Y-you can't fight The First, Buffy. It's not a-a physical being" Giles tries to explain but my sister was itching to get this sorted out, she can try and say it's for her to move on, but I think we all know she's still in love with Angel.
"Well, I-I can fight these priest guys" Buffy clutches at straws until Xander opens his mouth "If we can find them" biting my lip I smirk, "I think we can find a certain snitch who owns a bar to give us the info we need."
Buffy nods quickly as if she didn't think of that "With two Slayers hounding him he'll sing like a canary" I laugh turning to grab my bag before Buffy called my name "I think I'll take Xander this time for you know, uh, experience?".
Xander cheers looking shocked and begins to practice his threatening skills as the two of them leaving me behind confused, turning to Giles I frowned upset "Did I do something wrong?".
Apparently, Buffy and Xander had hit a dead end in the search for the Harbingers and was calling it a day so now we were both home decorating the tree with our Mom as Christmas music plays.
Buffy puts the finishing touches on the tree as Mom places another log on the fire she stands up and inspects the result "There we go" Buffy snorts placing a bauble on the tree "Nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat."
"Oh, come on. It's lovely. Maybe I should turn the air conditioning on" Mom mutters to herself as I stand next to my sister but this time she doesn't move away or avoid me, but she is visibly off in her own world as she finishes trimming the tree.
"So, angel's on top again?" I frown when Buffy jumps startled "What?" she questions as Mom holds up an angel and a star, "She said Angel or star?" I told my sister shaking my head, "Oh, uh... star. Star".
Mom wanders off to put the Angel back in its box giving me time to look at my sister "So what did I do this time?" Buffy frowns at me confused, so I elaborated "ever since the library you've been avoiding me, what did I do?".
Buffy blows out a heavy breath "You didn't do anything. The dream I had about Angel, you were uh, in it, but..." I watched as my sister hesitated, "You didn't want to be in it, Angel, he was um..." again Buffy paused, "hurting you?".
I had no idea what my sister was talking about until I saw the look on her face "Oh, B" she took a shaky breath and turned to face the tree "I know Cordy told me but we've never really talked about it together, and in the dream you were so scared, you couldn't stop him".
Pulling my sister to me, I held her tight, "but I did, I did stop him. Yeah it hurts, yes I'm still getting better, but I did stop him. That's why I need to get away from him. He made me feel weak even when I was strong".
Buffy takes my hands into hers as tears run down her face "I will never let him hurt you again, I won't let anyone hurt you."
The doorbell rings interrupting our talk, wiping away my sister's tears we walked over to the door where Buffy opens it for us to see an awkward looking Faith on our doorstep "Hey" she greets uncertainly.
"Hi!" Buffy chirps looking shocked as I just smiled at the Brunette knowingly "Uh, looked like that whole party thing was gonna be kind of a drag" her eyes drop for an instant like she was expecting us to turn her away "I didn't really have anything... You know,".
My sister smiles sincerely "I'm glad you came" I laugh shaking my head "I knew you'd come" Faith just narrows her eyes at me playfully as she had Buffy some poorly wrapped gifts "Uh... Here".
"Why don't you come in from the entire lack of cold?" Buffy jokes as Faith nods, and she steps in as Buffy closes the door "Uh, that one" Faith points at one of the presents "is for your mom. They're pretty crappy".
Joyce beams when Faith walks into the lounge "Faith, you made it" she takes the gifts from Buffy "Oh, that is so thoughtful" Faith smiles embarrassed "They're crappy" the Brunette explains offhandedly as I suddenly remember the gift I got her.
"I'm gonna go upstairs and get your gifts be right back," I say placing a hand on my sister's shoulder giving it a squeeze as I pass showing her we had no hard feeling from our earlier conversation and her avoiding me.
Jogging upstairs I walk down the hall and into my room, once in my room I jump when I hear the door slam behind me. Spinning around, I gasp to find Angel there; he looks exhausted and somewhat disoriented "Angel."
He looks me up and down swaying slightly "Nikki" keeping a space between I wonder if I need to call out for Buffy, but I know in doing so I might alert my mom "Are you okay?" I question him as he looks around apprehensively and clears his throat.
"I gotta... I... look, I, uh, I had to see you, um..." I frown at his words as eyes my bed now and then "Me? Why would you need to see me?" Angel once again turns back to me, "I don't know, I... You shouldn't be...".
I was starting to get scared the more disoriented he got and how he knew he was here for me; not Buffy "Just tell me what's going on" I hissed at him as his gaze focuses on my neck, and my stomach dropped remembering I'm not wearing my cross.
Angel shakes his head like he's trying to get himself out of a daze "You have to stay away from me" I let out a bewildered laugh "You came to my house to tell me to stay away from you?".
Angel pants slowly and struggles hard with himself for control "Angel, something is doing this to you. Let me go get Buffy" as I move forward to the door Angel grabs me and roughly pushes me against the wall as I let out a small scream.
Closing my eyes, I felt him sniff against my neck as I trembled, but I knew Faith and Buffy would have both heard my scream with their Slayer hearing "Angel, don't" I cry out as he pushes himself closer to me.
Worried and frightened I push him away, but he holds on tighter "You just have to control it, okay? I-I know that you're confused" I could feel the bruises Angel was leaving on my arms but it was like he wasn't even really here, he seemed like he was in a trance.
"I think you're the one who's confused. I think you need to..." suddenly my door burst open to show my sister and Faith rushing in, Angel quickly lets me go, and I slide down to the floor sobbing.
Angel struggles for control, and he grabs his hair with his hands in desperation as Buffy walks closer to him like approaching a wild animal "Angel, how can I help you?" her hand was out in front of her, but Angel looked too far gone "Leave me alone!".
He runs towards my window and dives out, leaving us all in shock, placing my head on Faith's chest I let her pull in into her as she rocks me back and forth "Nikki?" Buffy whispers, but I shake my head knowing she needed to go, "Just go find him B."
Buffy nods hurriedly turning to Faith "Stay here with them in case he comes back" she orders and makes strides for the door "Yeah, I'll play watchdog. I don't really get it, though" Faith tightened her grip on me as Buffy looks at my trembling with guilt "I'll explain later. Everything. I promise,".
She opens the door and leaves as Faith hushes me again smoothing my hair "I'm here I've got you" grabbing her shirt in my hands I let out a sob "He made me weak again, I'm not strong Faith; I want to be strong."
Buffy paces in Giles' apartment again her guilt of letting her sister down again forms into anger, she knew it wasn't Angel's fault, and that was killing her; she wanted to protect both her sister and Angel but how could she do that when one of the people she was protected kept hurting the other.
"Giles, we have to do something. Soon. Now" The blonde ordered her Watcher "I'm still not sure what" he explained, biting on the arm of his glasses as Buffy eyes him desperately "Find me these priest guys. Find me something I can pummel."
"Let's not lose our heads," Giles says trying to cool down the eldest Slayer "Giles, he's slipping, he hurt her again" Giles has no response to that.
"I think we're losing him and I think he's going to take her down with him" Buffy's voice falters as she speaks she could lose the two people she cared about the most.
"Look..." Giles starts as he puts on his glasses "You realize if he... truly becomes a danger, you may have to kill him. Again. Can you do that?" Buffy can't bring herself to answer.
Angel is back at his mansion after visiting Nikki, he needed to stop hurting her, but he couldn't. He tries to get away from Jenny and goes into the mansion "I can't do it."
Jenny rolls her eyes looking annoyed, "You have to do it. What else are you good for?" she taunts as Angel pants hard "Get away from me!" Jenny appears behind him "Couldn't you just... feel her?" she leans in close to him "Couldn't you almost smell her skin? You never were a fighter, Angel, don't start trying now."
Angel flinches as Jenny steps away "Sooner or later you will drink her, you will drink both" Angel shakes his head "I'll never hurt her, not again, I can't hurt them" Jenny huffs as she looks at him scornfully "You were born to hurt them, have you learned nothing? As long as you are alive...".
Angel stands tall "Then I'll die" he announces flatly, Jenny pauses to consider this "You don't have the strength to kill yourself" Angel knows this and looks behind the woman "I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise."
He walks back out into the atrium with Jenny watching his every move "You're not supposed to die. This isn't the plan" She watches him walk through the atrium and take the steps up and out, "But it'll do."
Still researching at Giles' apartment Buffy reads aloud from a book "'A child shall be born of man and goat and have two heads, and The First shall speak only in riddles...' No wonder you like this stuff" she closes the book with a grimace "It's like reading The Sun".
Behind her, Giles sits on the stairs and reads to himself from another "Yes. Ah," he calls out when he finds something making Buffy look up at him hopefully "Priests?".
"Um... Yes, but, uh, more, more posturing, I'm afraid. Um," Giles looks down at the book and reads "'For they are the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below them. No seed shall flower, neither in man nor...'" he gestures that it goes on and on "They're rebels, and they'll never ever be any good. Nothing specific about their haunts."
Buffy frowns in thought "Let me see that" Giles hands her the book and she reads through it slowly "'...the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below...'" She suddenly sits up straighter in realization as Giles looks at her lost "What?".
After sending Faith down to watch over my Mom I locked myself in my bedroom trying to calm my nerves back down from Angel's visit, I wondered what Buffy was doing right now and if she had found him.
Sighing I pushed my hair out of my face and stared at the stake lay on the floor in front of me, lifting my hand up I let out a little whimper when the wooden shard didn't budge once again my emotions had rendered my 'gift' useless.
Just when I thought all my practice sessions and stay late at the Library was paying off this happened, putting me back into square one. My telekinesis trigger is anger, but right now, I couldn't summon up any anger because my body froze in fear.
How was I supposed to protect people, my friends and family if every time Angel showed his evilness I turned into a useless pile of jelly,
I should be stronger than this; I am the Slayer, but instead, he made me feel as vulnerable as a piece of paper. Every time he came around and treated me like a little doll tore me down, but now I need to build myself back up.
Buffy ran into Angel's mansion and began looking for the vampire after the First's words, she knew something terrible was about to happen to him "Angel!" She looks around, but he's nowhere to be seen.
She walks toward the doorway to the atrium and looks out. She sees the steps leading up and runs toward them and out on to the hills behind the mansion. Buffy runs through the bushes, frantically looking for Angel, she needed to help him.
She climbs further up the hill and finds him standing at the top looking out over a peaceful residential area of town "Angel" He hears her say his name and briefly glances in her direction before looking back out over the rooftops.
Buffy slowly walks over to him cautious in case he turned on her "I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day" Buffy pants out of breath "Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. Th-there's only a few minutes left".
"I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes" Angel just shrugs he's already accepted his fate "I don't have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you..."
Buffy's anxious and hurried words are soon interrupted by Angel "It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me," Buffy frowned confused, "Showing you?" Angel nodded and placed his hands in his pocket, "What I am."
"Were" Buffy huffed insistently as Angel looks at her "And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do" The Slayer angrily looks at the vampire "You don't know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back, and you buy it? You just give up?"
"I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer" Angel argues harshly "Then fight it" Buffy retorts but Angel's face cracks "It's too hard" Buffy gets desperate begins to beg "Angel, please, you have to get inside."
Angel turns to face his ex-lover with a hiss "It told me to kill you, to hurt Nikki. You were in the dream, you know, you saw what I did. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again".
"I know what it told you, I know what I saw, but it's not you, Angel. Nikki told me everything, and I know... I know you would never hurt her as yourself, so why does it matter?" Buffy questions knowing that Angel for some reason had some weird thing with her sister.
She couldn't lie and say it didn't make her jealous, but she also knew it was the reason why Angel hadn't hurt her more tonight, if it were Angelus back here with them Nikki would have been worse off.
"Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care that's the same part that wants to take your sister and warp her into something deadly, something even more... beautiful." Angel raises his voice, finally admitting to her how he felt.
He sobs and Buffy is at a loss for words "Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man" Buffy's breath hitches "You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it".
Angel doesn't want to believe her "Angel; you have the power to do real good, to make amends" Buffy pleads with him to believe her "But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster" She looks out at the sky as it begins to lighten.
"Angel, please, the sun is coming up!" Buffy begs frantically, but Angel just growls "Just go," Buffy shakes her head tearfully "I won't!" Angel swallows thickly as he turns to the young Slayer "What, do you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!".
"You are not staying here" Buffy grabs his arm "I won't let you!" Angel jerks his arm free of her grasp, "I said, LEAVE!" In her anger and desperation, Buffy punches him, and he reacts by shoving her away from him roughly, making her fall face forward, hard to the ground.
"Oh, my God..." Angel whispers quietly to himself, seeing Buffy lay on the ground, he goes to her and crouches over her, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her around to face him.
Fearing his intentions, Buffy cries out, "No! No!" He grabs her roughly by the arms and holds her firmly "Am I a thing worth saving, huh?" he shakes her roughly "Am I a righteous man?" he shakes her once again "The world wants me gone!"
Buffy looks up at Angel tearfully "What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you, and it didn't help" She shoves him off of her and gets up crying "And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much".
She sobs harshly, "I know everything that you did, because you did it to me, my friends and my family. I tried to not think about what you did to Nikki I really did and in doing so, I hurt her worse than you ever could have" she screams out knowing she broke her sister just as much as Angel did by ignoring her pain.
"Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't" Buffy's eyes lower as she whispers "I can't" Angel gets up now, too "Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong".
Buffy remembered her sister's words about being strong and gritted her teeth in anger at Angel "Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together" Angel struggles with himself, knowing she's right.
"But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because..." Buffy stops in mid-sentence because it has inexplicably begun to snow.
She and Angel both look up at it coming down, lightly at first and gradually heavier. The two of them stand there with the snowflakes swirling around them in the gentle morning breeze, and the ground around them starting to become white.
Angel looks around in amazement as Buffy walks to the edge of the hill and looks out at the town as the roofs on the houses below also start to become white. She turns to Angel, and they look at each other, stunned by this apparent miracle.
Sniffing I pick my head up off my knees to look outside my bedroom window only to see snow outside, getting up from my spot in the corner I walk to the window to look out. I smile as I see it come down thicker and notice the glass of my window began to frost.
About an inch and a half of snow has now collected on the floor outside, throwing on a coat I open my bedroom door and run downstairs taking two steps at a time meeting Faith and my Mom getting ready to open the door.
Faith pulls opens it, and we all go out to watch it fall., Faith steps off the porch and lets a few flakes fall on her open hands and face as Mom tugs her wrap tightly around her for protection against the cold.
Leaning my head on Faith's shoulder, I smile when she puts her head gently on top of mine as we both stare out in amazement "Merry Christmas Faith" the brunette smiled down at me as she repeats my words.
Mom walks closer to the two of us, and I switch my head on to her shoulder instead of Faith's, wrapping my arms around her waist as she holds me just as tight "Merry Christmas Sweetheart."
The weatherman can be heard on the TV in the window of the audio/video store in the deserted shopping district "And while most of Southern California is enjoying a balmy Christmas, an extreme cold front has sprung up out of nowhere around Sunnydale, where they are reporting heavy snowfall for the first time in, well, ever".
The snow continues to fall in a thick flurry "Sunnydale residents shouldn't expect to see the sun at all today. That cold front isn't going anywhere. With temperatures in the high 30s, means you better bundle up if you're planning to go outside and enjoy the change in the weather."
The street aglow with Christmas lights as Buffy and Angel walks along hand-in-hand through the empty streets, still looking up at the snow as it comes down. The road and a few parked cars are covered with about two inches snow. Buffy looks over at Angel he looks exhausted, but at peace, he notices her gaze and smiles at her, together they walk away.