Somebody That I Used To Know.
Chapter 8.
Kate approached the cafe, she looked down to Aria who was peacefully asleep in the pram, tucking her in further she leaned down and whispered.
"Wish mummy luck!"
She scanned the tables looking for a familiar face, Stacey spotted her first and flailed her arms in the air trying to get her attention.
"Kate! Hey, over here!"
Kate slid into the chair opposite her and moved the pram between them, Stacey's eyes lit up seeing Aria's cherub face.
"This must be Aria! She's gorgeous! Man, if you weren't so nice I'd have to hate you! You have a fiancee that adores you, a super cute baby, and from what I hear you're some kind of Naval legend."
Kate scoffed and tried to hide her embarrassment with her menu, Stacey laughed as she snatched it from her hands.
"Nothing to be ashamed of! Hey, I'm in HR remember, I have access to all the information. Also, I've seen the boarding reports, you're not always the shining example you set out to be…"
Kate didn't know how to respond, she wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a quip. Stacey quickly realised from Kate's concerned expression she might not have understood her sense of humour.
"Oh, it's supposed to be a joke! Work and personal are totally separate here, promise…"
Kate realised in that moment Stacey was just as nervous as her, she waved her hand in the air dismissing the awkwardness.
"All good, sorry, I guess it's a mix of me not really knowing what I was like before and…"
Stacey threw her head back, feeling like an inconsiderate idiot.
"Oh, god, Kate, sorry, I keep forgetting…"
"Yeah, me too…"
There was a pause before they both let out a giggle.
"Well, you seem to know a bit about me, what about you?"
Stacey shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Ah, I'm boring really, grew up with two brothers and a sister, went to uni to do HR. My oldest brother is in the Navy and my younger sister is in the Army and well, I dunno, they convinced me it was a good career move..."
Aria awoke and cooed for attention, Stacey's focus immediately darted to the pram.
"Oh, please, let me…"
Stacey gathered her in her arms and pulled funny faces trying to get her to smile.
"Kate's, she's scrummy, I could just eat her up…"
"Any plans for one of your own?"
"Well, I'm kinda missing the man for that part, but, you know, I'm happy being single. I've never had a huge desire to have kids, I mean, I love them, and I'll be your babysitter any time, but it's never been the number one thing on my list so…"
"Yeah, me either, I mean, I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world, but I guess this wasn't my chosen path, god, that sounds terrible."
"No, it doesn't, no judgement here…"
Kate looked over to Stacey feeling at ease, she thought having girlfriends was overrated, but feeling so comfortable with Stacey made her see the appeal.
"Thanks, I guess that's all I've been feeling lately, like everyone is just waiting to see what my next move is."
Stacey wasn't sure if that was a sign that Kate wanted to talk about what had happened, she settled Aria in her arms and scooted her chair closer.
"I don't mean to pry, and you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but how is everything going with the whole memory thing?"
"Ah, well, it's not, I can't remember anything."
"Wow, that must be so hard, sorry, I'm probably not helping."
"It's okay, everyone has questions, and hey, if we're gonna be friends…"
"How far back can you remember?"
"Ah, well basically nothing in the past six-ish years, so nothing here in Cairns…"
"And Mike?"
"Funny story, we actually dated years ago and it ended, ah, not that well, so when I woke up…"
Stacey's eyes widened assuming where the story was heading.
"Oh, shit! What happened?"
Kate laughed at her animated expression.
"Nothing, I think I was in shock."
"Man, I think I would have punched him in the throat."
"It was tempting, but I didn't even know what year it was."
"But it seems like its turned out okay?"
Kate admired her ring for a moment, until Aria's gurgle broke her train of thought. She looked over to Stacey but someone caught her eye behind her, it was Dutchy. She was about to wave him over when she remembered they were in the middle of a fight, Stacey noticed her wandering eye and turned to see what she was looking at.
"Okay, I know you're taken but, yeah, I'd look at that too…"
Kate's eyes darted back to the cup of coffee in front of her.
"Ah, no, that's Dutchy…"
"Wait, what?"
Stacey whipped her head back round to catch another glimpse of him.
"Kate! You failed to mention how hot he is!"
Kate chuckled, shaking her head.
"What happened to not needing a man?"
"Hey, everyone could do with a little dose of that! You need to make up immediately so you can introduce us."
"Well, he said some pretty jerky things so…"
"How jerky? Or were they just typical foot in mouth boy things, because I'm willing to forgive stupid for those abs…"
Stacey turned back around, trying to catch another glimpse of him.
"It doesn't matter…"
"Ah, yes it does! I mean, how close were you guys? If you're that upset at him that normally means he knew you well enough for it to hurt."
"Yeah, he sure knows how to rub me the wrong way…"
"And he did that by?"
Kate's eyes focused on the table, unable to meet Stacey's questioning look, Stacey could tell she was uncomfortable, she hoped she hadn't stepped over the line.
"Okay, I get it, you barely know me, you don't want to air your dirty laundry… Anyway, lets talk about your pending nuptials. So, are you the traditional, big dress, church kinda gal? Or simple but elegant garden ceremony and reception at the pub type?"
Kate's mind was still distracted by Dutchy, and she didn't respond. Stacey waved her hand in front of her face, trying to catch her attention.
"Earth to Kate?"
Kate cleared her throat, snapping her out of her trance.
"Umm, I don't actually know."
Her ears began to ring, her eyes narrowed. She could see Stacey's mouth move, but couldn't make out the words. She felt her heart beat faster and her palms began to sweat, her anxious expression confused Stacey and make her stop talking. Placing Aria back into the pram she moved closer, worried about Kate's fading colour.
"Kate? Are you okay?"
"I, I should know these things, should I? If I don't, should I be getting married!?"
Stacey was thrown by Kate's sudden freak out, she worried she was about to have a panic attack, she took her hands and squeezed them tight.
"Kate, it's okay, just breathe."
She rubbed Kate's back and signalled to the waitress to bring her some water.
"In and out, and count to five while squeezing my hand."
A few minutes later Kate had calmed herself, Stacey passed her a glass of water. Kate took a sip, wondering what her new friend thought of her.
"You okay?"
Kate nodded, unable to look her in the eye.
"You have to promise me you won't tell Mike about this."
"Kate, are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Please, he worries too much, I'm okay. I'll talk to my shrink, just don't tell him, please."
She nodded reluctantly, it was against her better judgement, but she didn't want to be the cause of more stress.
Later that night Kate stared at the blank message addressed to Dutchy, she missed him but he was the one who had said mean things, why should she be the one to make the first move? She shook her head and exhaled sharply, throwing the phone on to the couch. Mike arrived home from work and kissed her on the forehead.
"Hey, sorry I'm late..."
Kate grabbed her phone and placed it on the table and shot him a smile.
"Dinners in the oven, Aria's already down for the night."
Mike perched himself beside her, placing his bag down.
"So, Stacey just loves you."
Kate stared blankly at the TV, lost in her own thoughts.
"Yeah, she's pretty great."
"Isn't it nice making new friends?"
"Yeah, I guess, it's just having to explain everything."
Mike could see her mind was somewhere else, he moved closer placing his hand on her leg.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I guess I just didn't expect you to be working this much over time."
"Sorry, Kate, like I said, the place is a bit of a mess, it won't always be like this. But is that all? Dare I ask about Dutchy?"
"What about him?"
"Well, are you still in the middle of your fight? Is that why you're a bit snappy?"
"I'm not snappy…"
He let out a chuckle and squeezed her shoulder as he walked into the kitchen.
"Sure…"
The next morning Kate sat opposite Dr Bowen, trying to figure out what to say.
"It's good to see you, Kate."
She smiled politely, wishing she could say the same.
"What brings you in today?"
Kate glanced over to the clock, knowing she might as well make use of the fifty-nine minutes left.
"Well, Mike took a shore posting."
"That's wonderful news, isn't it? That means he can spend more time with you and Aria."
She folded one leg over the other, wishing she was anywhere but on that couch.
"Yeah, well, it's not really working out that way. He's just as busy, I mean he's, he comes home every night but he works at home, but I shouldn't complain right, this is what I wanted."
"Wanted? Why past tense?"
"Well, he used to say I used to hassle him about getting a shore posting."
"But this is what you want now, right?"
She shifted in her seat, not wanting Dr Bowen to make a big deal of her next confession.
"I had a little freak out yesterday. I'm just finding it hard, I'm trying to think about the future, like you suggested, but I just keep thinking like, what did old Kate want and what does the new Kate want?"
"Why can't they want the same things?"
"Well, cos I don't know what old Kate wanted."
"Does that really matter now? Kate, I'm going to be brutally honest, if, and it's a big if, you never get you memories back then it doesn't matter what old Kate wanted? Present Kate is the real Kate, you can't try to live up to your old expectations, they don't exist right now. You just need to ask yourself, are you happy,? And just go with it."
"I know, I made a big point about concentrating on the future but for some reason my mind won't let go. I've tried to ignore it, like to think positively and not let it get to me, but I don't think I can."
Kate exhaled sharply, feeling empty, unsure whether any of this was really helping her.
"Kate, you can't punish yourself for not being able to just get over it."
"But one minute I'm fine, and the next I'm having a bloody panic attack, how can that be right?"
"Well, it's not, have you remembered anything from before the accident?"
"Bits and pieces, nothing meaningful, nothing that actually gives me any insight to my life. Actually, umm, someone told me about Jim."
"Oh, so you remembered him?"
Dr Bowen grabbed her notebook and pen, wanting to document the important milestone.
"No, I was told, by accident."
Kate hesitated, her brow furrowed as she caught Dr Bowen's eye.
"Wait, how did you know about him?"
Dr Bowen shifted in her seat.
"You came to see me after he died, you've been seeing me for quite a while, Kate."
Kate was lost for words, how was this new information to her? She lept up from the couch and paced the room.
"Seriously!? I'm over here just freaking out and all this time you could have been telling me what's been happening in my life?"
"No, because that's not how this works, me telling you everything will not make your mind work, it's it going to resolve all this pain and frustration, you need to feel it for yourself."
Kate stopped at the window and sighed.
"And so what if I never get it back?"
"Kate, you need to be patient, it's only been a few weeks."
She plonked herself back on to the couch, rolling her eyes.
"It's been six weeks."
"Kate, it sounds like you're getting bits and pieces back, don't push it. Anyway, did you think about the things you want?"
Kate exhaled sharply and looked over to Dr Bowen.
"I just want to be happy…"
"And what's stopping you from doing that?"
She hesitated, having to think about it.
"Well, nothing, I guess…"
Kate left Dr Bowen's office and pulled out her phone and messaged Stacey.
"You said something about planning a wedding?"
Her phone beeped immediately.
"I'll come over tonight, you supply the booze, I'll bring everything else."
Later that evening, Kate sat at the kitchen bench flicking through the wedding magazine Mike had bought her. She jumped up hearing the doorbell, the door flung open before she could reach for the handle. Stacey stumbled through the doorway juggling magazines and bags full of fabric samples and photo albums.
"Ah, hi, you weren't lying when you said you've done this before, hey?"
"I swear if I wasn't in HR I'd be a wedding planner, I just love doing it."
Stacey dropped the bags on to the coffee table, Kate presented her with a bottle of white, Stacey scrunched her nose as Kate poured one glass.
"You're not drinking? Wait, oh, my, god, are you pregnant?"
"No! I just, I'm not a wine person."
She wrinkled her face more as she took the glass from Kate.
"Ah, I don't know if we can be friends then…"
"Well, apparently I used to, but for some reason I like whiskey now…"
She poured herself a glass, and Stacey clinked her glass against hers.
"Okay, I can deal with that, booze is booze, right?
Kate looked down and the piles of wedding paraphernalia in front of her.
"I'm gonna need a bigger glass…"
Stacey chuckled as she pulled a magazine from the pile.
"That's why I'm your new BFF! Okay, lets start with the big things, venue, those book out like months, even years in advance. So, here's the part where I get to know you, are you religious?"
Kate shook her head while taking a sip from her glass.
"Nah, not really."
"Easy, so you just need a celebrant, but you still need a ceremony venue and a reception venue. What about the Hammersley? At least for a ceremony?"
Kate took a larger gulp of her drink, Stacey could see she was already tense.
"I'm pretty sure I might be able to help arrange that too… okay, and reception? Do you want like a sit down thing or cocktail?"
"I want no fuss, I'm not really a super formal person…"
"Okay, cocktail it is… do you have anywhere in mind?"
Kate shook her head, taking a sharp breath in.
"Okay, leave that with me. Okay, cos you're not a super formal person I'm assuming simple dress?"
Stacey pulled a pile of magazines out of a bag and slapped them on the table in front of them.
"Well, take a look, tell me what you like…"
Kate placed her glass down feeling hesitant, picking up the top one she flipped through the pages, none of them felt like her, they were too staged, and they looked way too happy.
"Maybe something easier?"
"Ah, flowers?"
"Next."
"Cars?"
"Next."
"Oh, duh, bridal party?"
Kate picked up her glass and down the lot, Stacey winced watching her.
"Oh, yeah, lack of sisterhood?"
"Well, I guess there's Bird, she was on Hammersley with me."
"What about Dutchy?"
Kate poured herself another glass, she was going to have to tell Stacey the reason she wasn't talking to Dutchy.
"Ah, he doesn't really think I should be getting married."
"What?"
"Well, more that he thinks I'm rushing into it."
"Why? Haven't you been with Mike for, well, you have heaps of history."
"Yeah, I mean we'd only really been back together properly less than a year. But I think it's more that I can't remember, I dunno, I didn't really get to talk to him much, we just butt heads."
"But he's your friend Kate, he loves you and he wants you to be happy, right?"
"Well, I hope so."
"Just talk to him, or I can try to talk to him if you like."
"Anything to meet him?"
"Hey, what can I say, he's hot, and I'm assuming he's not so much of a jerk if you're friends with him?"
Kate pursed her lips together, how was it that she knew her so well?
"Have you been talking to Mike?"
"Hey, we work in the same building, but he doesn't kiss ant tell. He can just tell you're a bit stressed and isn't sure what to do."
"Anyway, what's next?"
Stacey's eyes widened and pulled a pink box out of one of the bags, Kate raised an eyebrow unsure if she wanted to know what was inside. Stacey giggled at her sceptical expression as she flung open the top.
"Cake?"
Kate exhaled with relief, pulling the box towards her.
"Now that's something I can get on board with!"
End Chapter 8.