AN: Writers block and the end of the work year has given me awful writers block. I'm pushing through which is why this is so short. Hopefully you enjoy. Working on Lake By the Ocean now.

The sun shone brightly overhead as Olivia and Lizzie made their second lap around the Mall. It was easy to talk to Lizzie. Not only did she share Olivia's experience, but she was a trauma counselor. A week had come and gone since her run-in with Fitz. Since, they'd stayed to small smiles and coy glances. Every night like clock work, he'd walk her out. Neither had said anything about their almost-kiss either.

"What was it like the first time you …" Olivia fumbled her question. It was hard to put into words the thoughts that swirled in her head. She and Fitz almost kissed. She'd wanted to kiss Fitz. It wasn't fair how easily they'd fallen back into one another. "The first time you felt for someone — wanted — after you were assaulted?"

Lizzie smiled softly. She slowed and headed toward a bench. Olivia followed behind. "You haven't been with your boyfriend. What's his name? Curtis, right? I thought you two had been together for a while now? He's a lot more patient than I thought. Impressive. He must really love you."

A forced smile cascaded across Olivia's face. She followed behind Lizzie, plopping down on the bench. Early fall had yet to give way to winter and both women wore workout gear. Olivia glanced down at her dirt covered running shoes. Lizzie's question was a given, considering all that she and Olivia had shared, but Olivia had yet to tell her about Fitz. Not only that, but Lizzie had met Curtis a night a few weeks ago.

"Not Curtis." Her gaze stayed trained on her running shoes. "Another guy." Olivia watched as realization dawned across Lizzie's face. "He makes me feel things that I don't with Curtis. I want him in ways I don't want Curtis." Maybe this was a conversation best suited for Christy, she had a therapy appointment next week; maybe it was time to move it up.

Lizzie nodded and Olivia took that as her cue to keep going. "He makes me feel again. I shut off this part of me, this sexual part. I gave it up. I have her up." She briefly thinks of the girl who didn't mind leveraging her looks for a free drink; one who didn't mind flaunting what she'd been given. "I thought that girl was gone."

"And by feel you mean…"

"Horny." The heat in her cheeks rose, her voice dropped an octave. She was thankful that her complexion hopefully hid most of the embarrassment she felt. She was almost thirty.

Lizzie started to laugh. "You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings, Liv. You're a sexual being. It sounds like that part of you was dormant for a while and it's trying to come back."

"Yeah, but it's not for Curtis."

"Well, you two aren't married, right?"

Olivia nodded. "We don't even live together any more."

"Any expectations of monogamy?" Lizzie asked. She took a swig of her water bottle.

"No." It was a partial lie. That wasn't a question she wasn't so sure about. Curtis clearly had expectations around what they were doing but Olivia didn't know if she did. He was comfortable but somewhere in there the comfort was turning into suffocation.

"Then what's stopping you from pursuing Mr. Mystery?" Lizzie asked. "You know, while being safe."

"Safe," Olivia repeated. Once upon a time Fitz was the safest.

"I did the opposite after my assault. I went out. A lot. Slept with a lot of men."

Olivia's eyes widened. This was the most personal she and Lizzie had ever gotten since meeting at therapy. It wasn't exactly easy for Liv to open up and share either. She'd kept all of this bottled up for so long that it now felt like it was pouring out of her.

"Hypersexuality as a trauma response. I wanted to feel in control so I went out of control. It was one of the reasons I started my path to becoming an actual therapist," Lizzie said.

Olivia rose a brow at Lizzie's story, her mind immediately combing through her sexual experiences post her assault. Safe. Predictable. Boring. The thought of sleeping around with strangers unsettled her. It even changed the lens she saw Lizzie through. It wasn't a bad change nor a good one, but rather one where she could see Lizzie as more than a friend she kept up with but rather a confidant.

"Maybe I should start paying you instead of my therapist," Olivia joked.

"I don't have my license yet, but I will be using this as a part of my practicum hours." Lizzie stood. "Another round?"

/

Fitz stared at his chicken-scratch writing, a frown on his face. This is what he got for being in a hurry; a grocery list he couldn't read. In the cart in front of him, Karen held onto her stuffed rabbit. He moved through the market, hoping that the contents of the grocery list would reemerge in his mind.

"Kare Bear, how about spaghetti?"

Karen nodded absentmindedly, squeezing and blabbering to her stuffed rabbit.

Fitz chuckled to himself at Karen's babbling. He rounded the corner, in aim of the can good aisle,"Spaghetti it—" but was cut short by his buggy almost running into a woman. "Oh shit, I'm so—" His words jammed in his throat. In front of him stood Olivia. She glistened in a pair of yoga pants and a loose t-shirt. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Ever since their almost kiss, he'd tried his hardest to keep her at arm's length. Not because he didn't want her but rather because he didn't want her to compromise herself for him. "Hi."

"Hi." Olivia responded in kind.

"You look great." If he hadn't been in a supermarket, he would've punched himself. It took everything not to stare."

"I look sweaty. I did three rounds around the Mall this morning."

"Three times around the Mall?" Fitz asked. A woman rounded them in a huff, reaching for a bag of coffee beans.

"Yeah, I was gonna actually call you, too."

"Call me?" Fitz leaned against the cart. Karen held her bunny up to him. He took it and squeezed it briefly, soliciting a fit of giggles from Karen before handing back the stuffed animal. Fitz was thankful that Karen had a distraction. Last time she'd seen Olivia, it'd ended in Karen admonishing Liv for yelling at him. It was endearing how much his baby girl loved him.

"I wanted to talk about the other night. When we…"

He cracked a tense smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've been meaning to apologize. If I made you uncomfortable or If —"

"There's nothing to apologize for. I wanted to kiss you. I would've if we hadn't been interrupted."

Karen held up her rabbit to show him, still blabbering. A warmth spread across his chest and he wanted to jump for joy. She'd wanted to kiss him. She would've kissed him. "You don't have to say that."

He watched as Olivia looked around the store and then back at him. "I'm not just saying it. Look, do you want to go out this Friday?"

"What about Curtis?" While he wanted to jump for joy, he couldn't help but to remember that Olivia wasn't single. He might've hated her boyfriend, but he wasn't a cheater, nor an opportunist. He wasn't the type to help someone break a commitment.

"We're just friends."

"And us?"

"A second chance."

His chest felt light and his heart beat faster. It was just three words, but no words had ever sounded so sweet. "I think I can do Friday."

Olivia grinned. "Great."

/

Jake stared at his laptop screen, a browser was opened to Great Lakes Student Loans. It was easy enough to find the angle he'd approach Olivia with. Her student loans were through the roof and her father was up to his ears in gambling debt. One way or another Olivia Pope was going to stop lying about him; about what happened. She had a price. They always did.