AN: Thanks for your well wishes everyone. I'm feeling a lot better!
I know I showed a few of you a partial glimpse at / update for Lake By the Ocean. I sat down to finish that today and this came out instead. Still working on the other one, though.
Here we make some progress, but also hit a few bumps.
Dino nuggets, French fries, and wine weren't what he exactly had in mind for dinner. He'd actually gotten reservations for them at The Capitol Grill. He wanted to wine and dine her beneath candlelight and the D.C moon. He had to work with what he had, though. Despite wanting very much to reconnect with Olivia in a space far more enticing than his dirty living room, he wasn't willing to sacrifice his relationship with his daughter to do so.
Thankfully Olivia hadn't asked him to, either. To tell the truth, he'd been surprised to see how she'd stepped in to care for Karen. He hadn't asked and he had never seen a maternal side from her either. Not that he didn't think she had one. Often, when they were back in law school, he wondered what their children would look like. He wished for a son first; someone who could protect their eventual daughter. In her absence those dreams felt like nothing more than the ghosts of a life half lived and never finished. By some stroke of luck, she walked back into his life and he now knew why she'd walked out completely.
"How did you end up with Mellie?"
Fitz blinked hard in realization that he'd spaced. Her question caught him off guard. "Excuse me?"
"Karen is a saint, especially for putting up with you, but she wasn't conceived via emasculate conception. How?" Olivia looked at him over the wine glass. Fitz could see the orange light from the dying candle brighten her dark irises.
"After you left, I was lost for a while. I called you, went by your apartment, and got nothing," he said with a sigh. He hated recounting those first few weeks after Olivia disappeared. It was even worse when he realized she wasn't coming back. "Mellie felt like a soft place to land."
He watched as Olivia's mouth flattened. He could see the annoyance in her expression at his response.
"I'm sorry," Olivia said.
Fitz wasn't quite sure what she was apologizing for. "Why are you sorry?"
"Because I ran," she explained. "I ran and I should've stayed. I should've …"
He reached across the kitchen bar and grabbed her free hand, the one not wrapped around the wine glass. "I should've looked harder." He squeezed her hand. "But there's no use in crying over it now. Besides, I detest Mellie, but she gave me the greatest gift I could ask for."
Olivia's cheeks swelled into a smile, prompting Fitz to return it with one of his own. She tugged her hand out of his and grabbed the wine glass again. "She's something special."
"Yeah, she's pretty special, isn't she?"
"Only the specialist of little girls can throw up on me repercussion free.."
"About that," Fitz frowned. "I owe you a dry cleaning bill. I hope it wasn't some high end line like Elie Saab."
"What do you know about Ellie Saab?" She asked.
Fitz winced once more. "That Mellie could've single-handedly kept him in business by the looks of our credit card bills."
Olivia laughed. "She always did love to flaunt her labels."
He chuckled as a soft silence slipped between them. His eyes couldn't help but wander her frame. She was still as petite as ever but looked even smaller dwarfed by his clothes. He wanted to protect her from the world. God how he could fall into her eyes.
"You're staring."
"I'm not," Fitz lied.
"You used to always stare."
"I did not!"
Olivia chortled. "Okay, big man. You never stare."
"Would you like to see some baby pictures of Karen?"
"Sure."
Their knees knocked together as they shared a photo album of Karen's early years. From the weight and thickness of the photo book, someone would've thought Karen was in her teens. But nope, she was still a tiny tot.
"Look at this one," Olivia said as she pointed to a photo of Karen bathing in the kitchen sink. Her dark hair was slicked up in a Mohawk and she held a rubber duck in her right hand. "I want to squeeze those cheeks!"
"Yeah. It's all fun and games until she learns what those new teeth can do." Fitz flipped the page, revealing another set of photos, this time Karen dressed as a cat decorated the pages.
Olivia couldn't help but note the lack of Mellie in the photos, even when Karen was just several months old. It made her wrap for both Fitz and Karen. Mellie was heartless to leave her daughter.
"You're amazing with her," Olivia commented. She ran her fingers over the photos secured safely behind transparent plastic.
"I try." He smiled.
Olivia's conversation with Lizzie flashed across her mind as Fitz smiled at her. He was still beautiful; still had that easy like a summer's morning. Her fingers coiled against the album. Her heart sped up and she couldn't stop staring at his mouth. It was like they were back in her office, dancing too close, waiting to see if the other would make a move first.
Damn it. She was a grown woman and if she wanted to make a move, she was going to make a move.
As Fitz went to flip the page once again, Olivia stopped him. She closed the book and set it on the coffee table in front of them. The confusion that clouded his irises was clear as day. Olivia smiled and leaned in, capturing his lips between hers in an almost chaste kiss. She moved slowly at first, waiting for him to catch on. As he did, Olivia tested his boundaries. Her tongue slid across his while her hands found their way into his hair. Fitz responded in kind. He shifted on the couch and leaned into her.
The small, logical part of Olivia's brain that somehow found itself still working despite the hormones spurring her forward, told her to slow down. She was practically throwing herself at him. The other part, the part of her looking to be that carefree undergrad who didn't hesitate to blow a kiss for a free drink, seemed to be winning out. She was damn near thirty years old; if she wanted to sleep with a man on this first date, she was gonna sleep with a man on the first date. Besides, this wasn't really their first date; all she was doing was picking up where they'd left off.
Soft pants and breathy sighs filled the room. They nipped at each other's lips. His hands roamed her body and she grasped at the curls that rested at the name of his neck. She shifted, leaning back against the plush cushions and encouraged him to follow her lead. He did and Olivia ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Making it like teenagers on his couch isn't where she expected the night to end but she wasn't objecting to it either.
His body pressed against hers as they rearranged themselves on the couch. Did
Fitz's hand slipped under the hem of the T-shirt that she was draped in. "Livvie…" he whispered, pushing her further into the couch. His knees dug into her thighs as he did.
Suddenly Olivia was catapulted back into that night. The body over here was no longer Fitz's. It was Jake. Jake's body above hers. Jake's knees digging into her thighs; Jake calling her Livvie. She tensed up. His hands under her shirt weren't welcomed and the smell of his cologne was nauseating. Tears choked her throat and she began to wriggle beneath him.
"No!" She shouted. The panic that seized her body guided her movement. "Get off!" She cried again. "Stop. Please. Stop. Stop. Stop! No. I said no. Please. Please don't." The tears that rested in her throat now rolled down her face. She was in hysterics.
"Livvie…Liv. Olivia, it's me. It's me! Calm down. Please. Shhh."
The weight was gone. Fitz's voice worked her way
Olivia sat up in a frenzy. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Slowly she began to descend back into her body. She blinked several times as Fitz's apartment materialized around her once more.
"Are you okay?" He asked. His blue eyes were filled with guilt — pity as he stared at her. "Hey…"
Embarrassment flooded her body. Several more tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm — oh god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should go." She scurried off the couch and looked around for the heels she'd worn with her possibly ruined dress.
"You don't have to go. It's okay. I get it. Please don't. I understand what PTSD is. Please don't…"
Karen's cries reverberated down the hall. Guilt now joined Olivia's embarrassment. "I'm going to go. I'm — "
"You don't have to apologize for something you can't control, Liv." He said, a small trickle of blood roll down his left cheek. Olivia's guilt intensified. She must've hit him or cut him with her nails.
"I'm sorry. I just need a moment." She didn't wait for his rebuttal. Instead she headed towards the door.
"Liv." There was desperation in his voice.
"I'm sorry. Tell Karen I'm sorry too." She escaped into the hall, his door closed behind her with a finite click. The tears were imminent.
Jake looked at the check in front him. It was far past what he thought she deserved for her lies and exaggeration. Nearly $600,000. He wanted to shove it in her mouth, make her taste it and gag. Olivia Pope wasn't going to ruin his life.