Author's Note: I want to clarify some things so that way no one is confused. In this story, I thought it would make more sense for the wolves to be closer in age. So, Sam is a 19, having phased a few weeks before graduation. Leah, Bella, and Jacob are all the same age in this story (17), so they're all juniors, as is Jared. Paul is a senior. Also, I don't want to make anyone think that this is a fic where certain characters get bashed throughout. The purpose of this fic is not to just be an AU where Bella heals, but to also criticize questionable actions that have happened in the fandom, and provide a space for those characters to actually recognize their mistakes, grow, and improve.
CHAPTER SIX
"Good morning, everyone," a woman smiled, her voice friendly and yet commanding, the whole room falling silent as she stood. "I'd like to start off by welcoming everyone to the group, whether you be old or new. Keep in mind that this group isn't just for people who have been in abusive relationships, but also for those whose relationships may be toxic and unhealthy And I know I say this every time, but I think it's important to reiterate that this is a safe space, and you can rest easy knowing that there will be no judgement here. We are here to heal, to learn, and to grow. I would also like to reiterate that there is no pressure when it comes to these sessions. If you want to speak, we will listen. If you don't want to speak, that is perfectly fine. And if you decide that you no longer want to come to these sessions, you are free to do whatever you please. I am here to help you, yes, and one way that I help you is by giving you control over your situation. Right now, you are in control. You have the power.
And I know many of you are familiar with how this support group works, but since there are a couple of new faces, I'll quickly explain it again. If you would like to share your story with the group, raise your hand and introduce yourself. Other members of the group are allowed to ask questions and converse with the main speaker, however, do be aware that bullying and snide comments are not allowed. With that, let's begin!"
A woman a few seats down from the support group leader slowly raised her hand, and the group leader nodded, smiling encouragingly.
The woman who opened her mouth to speak was incredibly familiar.
Bella, who was still in a bit of a daze after the events of last Friday night, took a second to focus on the woman's face. She hadn't seen her in years, but she was pretty sure that was Leah Clearwater. Her resemblance to her father, Harry, who Bella saw with her father often, was striking. Her hair was pulled back into a thick, long braid, which trailed all the way down her back. Bella noted that it contrasted sharply with several other women in the circle, who kept their long hair carefully framed around their faces to hide bruises.
"Hi, I'm Leah."
"Hi, Leah," the group chimed.
"Is it okay if I explain the situation really quick?"
The question was directed towards the leader of the support group. When Bella focused on the woman, she realized the woman was wearing a name tag that helpfully supplied her name, which was Ariana.
Leah continued, "Almost a year ago, my boyfriend proposed to me. I loved him so much, and I thought he loved me, so I accepted. Everything was going great until a few weeks after the engagement. That was when Sam, my fiance at the time, disappeared. He was gone for months, and he never sent me anything, not even to let me know that he was okay. I can't even describe how stressed I was. My hair was falling out, I wasn't sleeping, I couldn't eat. My grades dropped and I almost didn't make it. I'm pretty sure I was annoying all my friends and family by constantly having them call me with updates. Then, all of a sudden, he was back."
"Did you keep the engagement ring?" Bella blurted. When everyone in the circle turned to look at her, she flushed bright red and sank down into her seat. "Sorry, I swear I wasn't trying to interrupt."
"No, it's okay," Leah smiled weakly. "Yeah. In my mind, we were still engaged, and I wanted to make it work. Sam had a rough home life, you know, with his Dad being a violent drunk. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I didn't want to give up on him, not the way everyone else did. But when he came back, it was like the love he had for me disappeared. He was vague with his responses to any questions I asked him, he wouldn't spend the night, he wouldn't even kiss me. My cousin, Emily, had come down from the other reservation to support me at the time, to help me through everything. Sam and Emily started disappearing at the same times, always absent when I was looking for them. One day..."
A tear slid down Leah's cheek, and she angrily swiped it away.
"One day, I went into my room, and I found them in bed together."
There was a collective sharp inhale from the circle.
"They gave so many excuses, and I refused to hear any of it. When Sam asked for his ring back so he could propose to Emily, I swear on everything holy, I was prepared to go to jail for murder. I imagined running him over with my car, I was so pissed! My parents took Sam and Emily's side. Before I could even get my side of the story out, Emily went and gave her sob story, about how it wasn't Sam's fault and that you can't help who you fall in love with. So now I'm the black sheep in my own home, and everyone thinks the sun shines out of Emily's ass."
"So why are you here?" Ariana prompted. "What drove you to come to this support group?"
"This entire thing happened months ago, and I've been doing my best to move on. I've been trying to get back out there, in the dating scene. I can't date on the reservation because Emily has convinced everyone that I'm a bitter harpy, so I've been trying to go on dates with guys from Forks, Seattle, you know. Sam won't let me."
"I'm sorry, he won't let you?" a girl with bright purple hair scrunched her nose up.
"Sam... I don't know how deep is influence is in the community, but he always seems to know when guys talk to me. My dates stand me up, or they start ignoring me, as if they're scared. Sometimes, I see his friends, Paul and Jared, watching me, as if they're giving him reports on me. And he keeps trying to guilt me into forgiving Emily, and agreeing to be the maid of honor at their wedding."
"What guilt would you have?" another girl asked.
"A couple of days after Sam proposed to Emily, Emily got attacked by a bear. It got her pretty good, and I guess Sam thinks that I'll feel guilty over her scars, which I had nothing to do with, and forgive them." Leah shifted in her seat. "When I say it out loud, it sounds really fucking dumb. I can't believe how dramatic I'm being."
"How are you being dramatic?" Ariana asked patiently. "What makes you think that your reactions are not valid?"
"Because Sam didn't hit me!" Leah snapped. "There are so many people in the world who have it way worse, and here I am, whining because my ex is clingy."
"There is no competition when it comes to trauma, Leah. Just because Sam did not physically abuse you does not make what you went through invalid. What Sam is doing fits the definition of several types of abusive tactics. Sam is controlling who you see, he's making you feel as if you're crazy for wanting to move on with your life, and you said that he has power in the community that makes it less likely for people to speak out against him. Sam may not have hit you, but the emotional and psychological distress that you are under are valid, too. Those scars are just as important as the physical ones."
That last sentence seemed to resonate with many of the girls in the circle, as they hugged themselves just a bit tighter. A tear slid down Leah's cheek, and Bella was close to tears herself. She'd had similar thoughts herself about her relationship with Edward.
Edward had never hit her, but he did make her feel weak, mentally and emotionally, especially with the way that he left. Treating her like her emotional and mental processes were inferior to his made her cheeks burn and her stomach twist in humiliation.
"It's just so hard," Leah whispered. "It's like I'm the villain in my own story. Every night I cry myself to sleep because everyone who I thought loved me actually hates me. Do you know what the people on the reservation say about me? They say that I'll be alone forever, because if Sam didn't want me, then no one will."
"That's not true," the girl next to Leah says, her voice starting off timid, but growing stronger as she continued. "That's what shitty people do, that's what they want you to think. My mom used to do the same thing. She would tell me that I was ugly and no one want ever love me, so that's why I had to stay with her forever. People do those things so we are trapped, so we feel like we have no where else to go. That's what Sam wants, too. He wants to have you and Emily because, in his mind, if he has you, then he gets away with what he's done. He gets to have his cake and eat it, too."
"Brianna is right," Ariana said. "I know you think that only physical abuse is worth mentioning, but that's not true. All types of abuse have a negative effect on a person. By making you feel like this, Sam is mentally and emotionally abusing you. I know it's hard to come to terms with." She sits back in her chair and gives a soft smile. "I know you think I'm all talk, but you know how I know these things? A few years ago, I was where you are right now. I used to think that I had no where to go, no one to support me. I stayed with my abusive boyfriend because he had me convinced that there was no one else in the world that would tolerate me the way he did. Getting away from him, Leah? That was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I can't even begin to describe how much happier I am. I know my self worth. I know who I am. Will I ever forget what happened to me? No. But I can move on. We can all move on."
The rest of the session continued in similar fashion, some of the other girls choosing to share their stories and get advice from their fellow peers and Ariana. At the end of the session, before Ariana released them for the day, she asked everyone to say something about themselves, or about their life, that they were happy about. Something that made the days just a bit easier.
"My little brother," Leah smiled. "He's always on my side. I can always count on him, and that makes the pain not as bad."
"My kitten, Lily."
"My internship," Brianna said. "I'm getting paid to get experience with coding and animation. Best thing to ever happen to me."
Around the circle they went, and when it got to Bella, she said, "My relationship with my dad."
Ariana smiled and stood.
"That's it for today, ladies. Feel free to have some of the refreshments in the corner. If you want to stick around and talk to me, I'll be here for another hour. And if any of you need anything, anything at all, please, don't hesitate to call me. Have a wonderful day!"
Bella smiled at a few of the other girls in the room as she slipped into the hallway, having to jog to catch up to Leah.
"Hey, wait up!"
"Swan," Leah said warningly, coming to an abrupt halt.
"I just wanted to say hi," Bella said, hands up. "And I'm not gonna tell anyone you were here, you don't have to worry. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know we haven't spoken in years, and you don't have to tell me anything, but...it's just nice to see a familiar face."
"Oh...," Leah murmured. "Same here. And I appreciate you keeping this between us."
"Did you maybe want to get lunch in Port Angeles at the Chestnut Cottage? My treat? We can catch up."
Leah smiled. "Sure, I'll follow you in my car."
Paul scratched at his leg, frowning at the jeans he had on. Ever since phasing, the less clothing he had on, the better. His body ran so hot now that anything more restricting than shorts set him on edge. While he preferred shorts, though, he couldn't exactly take a girl out on a date only half dressed.
Mia sat across from him, chattering happily. He'd asked her out the week prior, to a movie and dinner, and Sam had been generous enough to let him off patrol for a bit, although it did come with a warning. Sam hadn't been happy about him dating, as he was a firm believer in imprinting, but that wasn't his only concern; Sam was also concerned that Paul wouldn't be able to control himself if things got physical. Paul was determined to prove him wrong.
"Do you know when you'll be able to come back to school?" Mia smiled at him. "It's not the same without you there!"
Paul winced. He doubted he'd ever go back. He didn't complete his senior year, having to leave before it was even halfway through in order to get his phasing under control. And now that he was out of school, he found it difficult to event think about going back. How could he ever return to a mundane life of going to class after spending months hunting and killing vampires?
"I don't know yet," Paul said. "I'll most likely have to repeat my senior year, but I could maybe graduate early if I put my mind to it. You graduate in the spring, don't you? Aren't you going to Stanford?"
"Hopefully," Mia murmured, pleased that he remembered her top choice school that she'd applied to. "I don't know if I got in yet, but fingers crossed."
"Someone as smart as you, you probably got a scholarship, too."
Mia blushed. She opened her mouth, but whatever she said went in one ear and out the other as Paul's attention was diverted to the two people that had just walked in through the door of the restaurant.
"Table for two, please," Leah Clearwater said to the hostess, and she and Bella were lead to a table not too far from where Paul and Mia were sitting. Fortunately for Paul, the two girls didn't notice him, too busy talking to the waitress and ordering their drinks
Paul attempted to focus back on Mia, who was in the middle of telling him the latest high school drama that he was missing out on, but was drawn into Leah's conversation with the police chief's daughter.
"You had lunch with Sam and Emily?!"
"Paul and Jared, too," Bella grimaced. "It was so awkward. I was praying for the ground to open up and swallow me whole."
"How was it? Other than awkward?"
"Intense. I went there to say thanks to Sam for looking for me in the woods, you know, that night I got lost? Well, I had brought over brownies, and the first person I meet wasn't even Sam, it was Paul. And he called me a paleface!"
The conversation halted when the waitress came back with their drinks, two glasses of water with lemon, and took their order. Bella ordered the chicken club, and Leah got the Philly cheesesteak.
"Paul has always been a bit of a wild card. He's got anger issues, got them from his dad apparently."
"If Sam hadn't been there, I'm, like, ninety nine percent sure that Paul would've murdered me. Anyways, Sam was nice enough, I guess. I didn't really start getting any weird vibes from him until he started interrogating me about the Cullens. Emily showed up a bit after and insisted I stay for lunch. The second I was free to go, I high tailed it out of there."
"Why did Sam want to know about the Cullens?"
"He wanted to know if they ever planned on coming back to Forks. How I would know that, I have no idea. The Cullens cut off contact with me out of the blue and then disappeared off the face of the Earth. Clearly, I didn't mean as much to them as I thought I did."
The last part was said in a low, hushed voice, Bella's face downcast.
Leah, attempting to cheer her up, said, "You aren't missing out on much, I'm sure. Edward wasn't even that good looking."
Bella snorted, choking on her water. "Leah!"
"What? It's true! The only Cullen I could understand the ladies going crazy for is Dr. Cullen."
"Dr. Cullen?!"
"It's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for; they're always the kinkiest."
"Oh, my god!" Bella giggles hysterically into her hands. She inhales sharply to hold the noise back at the waitress appears with their food. The second she leaves, Bella collapses into her arms once again.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you never thought waxed poetic about Dr. Cullen. Look me in the eye and swear it."
"You know I can't do that," Bella mumbled into her hands. She very vividly remembered staring at Carlisle in a daze when he was stitching her up after her birthday party.
"Paul?" Mia's soft voice rips his focus away from Leah and Bella. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, sorry," Paul said.
"It's okay," Mia said. "Listen, I had fun today. I'm sorry to cut out date short, but my mom wants me to get home."
"It's not a problem," Paul assures her, leaning over the table to kiss her on the cheek. "I'm going to pick up the bill, you can go ahead and head out."
"Are you sure? I can give you a ride back if you need one."
"I'm sure, I have to run some errands anyways. I'll see you later?"
They say their goodbyes, and Mia leaves, leaving Paul free to focus back in on Leah and Bella.
"I was surprised to see you, too," Leah said, swirling her straw in her cup with one hand, and dipping a fry into a pool of honey mustard with the other. "I...I wasn't aware that your relationship with Edward was anything other than perfect. Dr. Cullen seemed to flawless that I assumed the rest of the family would be the same."
"My relationship with Edward was...complicated. I didn't talk about it as the session because I was too nervous, but he was much like Sam was. Edward controlled a lot of aspects of my life, too. I sacrificed a lot because I wanted him to like me. I thought that I was special to have someone like Edward on my arm. I've been realizing that maybe having a boyfriend isn't all its cracked up to be."
"Celibacy is the move," Leah agreed. "Sam won't let me date anyone else, so I guess I'll spend the rest of my life as a lonely cat lady."
"If he keeps controlling your love life, I'll send a plate of tainted brownies his way."
"Jacob told me you offered to do the same for him. Since I skip out on the bonfires, now, he makes sure to keep me up to date about the Rez gossip."
Bella grinned. "Yeah, Jake was telling me about the weird looks Sam has been giving him. Poisoning a batch of brownies was my way of contributing to his peace of mind. He turned me down though." Bella paused to sip at her water. "Listen, I know it's been a while since we hung out, this time aside, so how about I introduce you to my friends some time this week? Us girls gotta stick together."
"Really?" the proposal seemed to throw Leah off balance. "You'd want me to hang out with you guys? I wouldn't be in the way?"
Paul's stomach twisted uncomfortably as he realized that Leah's lack of a social life was a direct consequence of Emily and Sam's actions, which made Leah an outcast in her own community. Now that he thought about it, it was strange that La Push so quickly welcomed Emily, who was an outsider, and shunned Leah.
He felt nauseous, knowing that, on a few occasions, he'd dutifully reported to Sam about any men he'd seen talking to Leah. He hadn't thought much about it. Logically, he knew that Sam was trying to control Leah while fucking her cousin, but he hadn't really cared. It hadn't involved him, and he saw no reason to be upset about it. Now, though, he felt like shit. Leah was trying to move on with her life, and Sam, who preached about imprinting, was obviously not as happy with his match as he claimed to be if the way he kept trying to keep Leah isolated was any indication.
"Of course," Bella said.
Paul quickly waves his waiter over and pays the bill, leaving a tip stuffed under his glass of soda.
He slips out of the restaurant before the two girls can see him, and down the street, hoping the long walk home would clear his head.