Gifts of Love Large and Small - Chapter 9
For a long time, her father's cabin had represented solitude. As the place her father went each holiday to avoid the city and the memories of her mother. As the place she went to after she was shot the first time, it was a refuge from the city and from both the people who were out to get her and the people who loved her enough to want to keep her. As somewhere quiet and out of the way, she never thought of it as a place for anyone but the two of them.
Now, though, it's still a place for peace, but the peace comes without the pain. There's peace in the warmth of the fire. There's peace in the ripples of the wind on the lake, and the fat flakes of snow that fall to the ground. And there's even peace in the flurry of activity that comes from having three kids under six and Rick Castle, the biggest kid of them all, in the house with them.
She keeps an eye on her father, but after their talk, their walk, and the hours spent waiting for Rick and the kids to arrive, he's nothing but calmness and easy smiles. He'd even brought out some of the Christmas decorations from the storage shed and put them up to make the cabin feel more inviting.
"They're coming to see you, Dad," she'd reminded as he wound lights around the front porch banister. "Not more Christmas stuff."
He'd waved her off and continued with the lights before moving onto the small tree in the cabin's living room.
She has to admit, it does look better now. And it says a lot about where his head is that he'd been willing to try. A small display means he's feeling a little closer to himself. And he'd proven that throughout the afternoon and the evening, jumping into Reece and Jake's antics, and listening without reservation to Lily's stories.
Even in the early daylight the next morning, the display is cute, and she makes sure everything is turned on when she steps out onto the porch. Castle and the kids are tackling breakfast – cinnamon rolls, they've told her, because sugar to start their day is exactly what they all need – but she's here for the coffee, which is still in-progress, she's been assured.
Jim looks up, pausing his rocking on the porch swing to invite her to sit. He laughs at the indelicate way she flops, reaching over and patting her thigh.
"It hasn't even been an hour," she murmurs, shutting her eyes. "I'm already exhausted. And I still have to call into the precinct in a couple of hours."
"They're handfuls, that's for sure."
Her eyebrows lift at the understatement, but she doesn't allow her eyelids to peel upward just yet. Maybe she can snatch a power nap out here.
"But they're great, too," her father adds.
Kate feels him nudge her leg with affection and her lips lift in return. "Yeah, they are. They're making cinnamon rolls, by the way. Though I think more icing will be on Reece and Jake by the time they finish than on the rolls themselves. But we'll see."
"We can throw them in the bath, do some laundry," he says. "It'll be fine."
She laughs at his nonchalance, opening her eyes and blinking to adjust to the brightness of the day once again.
"You can say that because messy hasn't become a default state in your house just yet. Give us another day or two here and then you'll be singing a different tune."
Jim smiles, holding out his hand to her and squeezing her fingers when she puts her hand in his.
"I needed this, Katie," he says. "More than I realized. Between the news and missing your mom… I needed this. So, thank you."
She nods, patting the back of his hand. "They're pretty helpful sometimes, aren't they?"
"You are, too," he assures. "Having you come was the wake up I needed to see the good things in front of me again."
Her chin drops to her chest. It had taken a long time and a significant amount of therapy for her to understand that she is enough, that whatever she can do for him is enough and the rest is on him. To hear it acknowledged helps.
"Dad?" she asks, biting her lip. She shouldn't ask, but she wants – needs – to know. "If I hadn't come, would you have…"
He squeezes her hand. "I can't say the idea hasn't crossed my mind, especially on some of the more difficult days, but no. No, I wouldn't have. I talk to Dan, just to check in and get that kind of support. I talked to him the other day, in fact. Because that's not something I have any desire to revisit."
She swallows hard, swiping quickly at her eyes. "Okay, good. Good. I love you, no matter what, but good."
His hand tightens around hers. "I know, honey. I know."
Kate nods in acceptance, touching her temple to his shoulder and exhaling.
Her father hums, nudging the deck board with his shoe and setting a gentle rocking motion for them. Just as he used to when she was little, just as he did when they would sit here together after her shooting. And just as it did those times, it soothes her now.
She doesn't jump when the door opens, but she does sit up, smiling at her daughter as Lily takes careful steps out of the house.
"Special delivery," Castle says, offering them a gentle smile. "Sprout here wanted to be the one to bring these to you."
"S'coffee for you," Lily announces, as if the mugs she has clenched in her fists aren't explanation enough. "Santa is for Grampa, an' Frosty is for Mommy."
Kate holds out her hands, helping steady the mugs as Lily pads closer. "You are the best, Little Flower. Thank you."
"I made 'em myself," Lily says, giving Jim his coffee carefully.
Jim kisses her forehead. "Thank you, sweetheart. That was very nice of you."
Lily sways a little bit, looking toward the door and back at them. "Ca'I sit with you? Daddy an' Jake an' Reece are still makin' cimanim rolls an' my job was coffee."
"Cinnamon," Kate corrects softly, brushing her daughter's cheek. "Come on up, baby. We'd love to have you rock with us."
Lily grins, hoisting herself into the space between Kate and Jim, leaning into her grandfather's side. A little sigh of happiness escapes her lips, making Kate smile.
"Are you warm enough?" she asks, sipping her coffee. "I can ask Daddy to bring your jacket or a blanket."
Her daughter shakes her head. "I'm warm, Mommy. My unicorns are keeping me warm."
Kate chuckles, nodding. Lily's in her favorite Christmas light leggings and penguin sweater combo, fuzzy pink unicorn slippers on her feet. Curled up against Jim's chest, she looks perfectly content where she is.
"Okay," she agrees. "But I do think we're missing something."
"What's that?" Jim asks, giving Lily another squeeze before lifting his coffee to his lips.
"Well, Grandpa, you have coffee and I have coffee, but Lily didn't bring anything for herself. She should have something warm to drink, too, right?"
She pats Lily's leg, getting to her feet. "I'll be right back."
Castle meets her in the doorway with another mug, offering a soft kiss and an even softer smile. "Cocoa for Lily," he says, holding her steady with a hand on her hip. "I'll wrangle the boys into some shoes and sweatshirts, and we'll bring breakfast out here if you guys want."
She glances over her shoulder, taking in how comfortable her father and her daughter look cuddled together, how gorgeous the falling snow is right now. Eating without a table or tray will be a little messy but why the hell not. It's perfect out here.
"Bring lots of napkins, too," she says, tugging at the collar of Castle's plaid shirt, "and you have a deal, babe."
He laughs, stealing another kiss. "You know your sons too well."
"Oh, I was talking about you," she teases, palming his cheek.
He grins, letting her go and stepping back inside. "Just a few more minutes. Prepare yourselves for the best cinnamon rolls you'll ever eat."
"Can't wait."
She brings Lily's cocoa over, easing back onto the moving swing and handing it to her daughter.
"Thanks, Mommy."
"Thank Daddy when he brings breakfast out," she says. She sips her coffee, savoring the sweetness, the hint of spice. "He's thought of everything this morning."
The boys come out a few minutes later with handfuls of napkins they take turns handing out to the occupants of the porch swing. Once their hands are empty, they manage to pull themselves onto the ends of the seat as well, flopping beside Jim and Kate.
"I hear you boys were the best cinnamon roll helpers in the world," Jim says, patting Reece's leg.
"And I can see you're wearing some of the icing still," Kate murmurs, using one of the napkins he'd handed her to wipe Jake's cheek.
Her son giggles, squirming. "Ya. I tas'e it."
"You tasted it. Well, that's an important part of the baking process," she agrees, grinning over his head.
"An' me!" Reece says, showing them his sticky cheeks.
"And you too. You both were big helpers, I can tell. Is there any icing left?"
They giggle, nodding.
"Well, we'll have to see about that," she teases.
Breakfast is, as expected, a messy affair.
Castle emerges with their food, passing small plates to the kids and handing over larger ones to her and her father. The boys dive in, holding their cinnamon rolls with both hands. Lily's a little more delicate about it, but she doesn't hesitate to dig into the sweet treat.
Kate waits, though, watching her husband move around, making sure everyone is happy with their breakfast. She sees him swivel after a moment, pulling a chair from the other side of the porch closer to their little group and settling in.
"Where's your food, Rick?" she asks. "Your coffee?"
"Right. Right. I'll gra-"
She stands, pressing her fingers to his shoulder and murmuring for him to sit. "I'll get yours. And bring the carafe for Dad's refill."
Her father chuckles, thanking her.
She doesn't go back to the swing after handing Castle's food over. Instead, she nudges his shoulder with her hip and slides onto the chair with him. It's a tight squeeze, but they manage, eventually combining their plates and eating from one to save space.
They eat in near silence, save for a few giggles and the occasional slurp of cocoa or coffee. Kate has no doubt that Jake and Reece are wearing their food, but she lets it go. If her dad isn't concerned with it, given that they're sitting on him, then she's fine with it too.
"Grampa?" Lily asks after their food is gone.
"Yes?"
"Ca' you come to Chwistmas at my house?" She looks up, fixing hopeful eyes on him and Kate bites her lip to keep from jumping in.
Her father always has an open invitation for Christmas, but it's never something they press too hard about. They spend time together before or after the holiday, or Jim sometimes stops by later on Christmas Day for a lower-key affair, but nothing that's set in stone.
"Lil," Rick starts, but Jim lifts a hand and waves him off.
He swipes a crumb from Lily's cheek, smiling softly. "I'd love to, sweetheart. What time should I come?"
Lily beams, lifting both hands skyward. "I dunno! Ask Mommy!"
The adults laugh, and Kate feels her husband squeeze the back of her neck.
"Well then," Jim says as Lily hugs his chest, turning to face Kate. "What time, Mommy?"
She exhales, thanking him with her eyes. "Whenever you want," she says. "If you want to drive back with us tomorrow morning and stay, or if you want to come later on Christmas Eve, or even Christmas Day. Whenever you want, Dad."
He nods, looking thoughtful. "Good to know."
"Come for Santa!" Lily insists, lifting her head. "Gwam's coming, an' Lexi, too! They're aw coming for Santa!"
"Ya fo' Sanna!" Reece echoes, bouncing.
Jake follows his brother's lead, promptly breaking into song (which she thinks it's 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' but she can't be entirely sure), cackling every other word. Reece joins in as well and even Lily adds her voice, trying in vain to bring her brothers back on key.
"Christmas Eve it is," Jim says, chuckling at the little chorus happening around him. "I'll be there."
"I'm glad," she says, sharing a soft look with her husband before turning back to her father. "I'm really glad to hear that, Dad."
The smile he gives her as the kids jump off the swing and pull him toward the stairs, ready to go play in the snow, tells her he is, too.
She exhales, pulling her husband's arm around her a little tighter and leaning back. "I didn't come up here to settle the bet," she says, feeling him start to shake with laughter, "but I'll wear the stupid sweater, Castle."
"And while I also know you didn't come up here to settle the bet, I'll take Grogu to the Hamptons with us next time we go."
She grins, pecking his mouth. "Looks like we're both winners, then."
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this one!
I appreciate all your kind words and the love you've shown this story. One more chapter to go!