It had been a few days since the incident. I still hadn't said a word besides "sorry" which I could tell was concerning Mr. Fahey. But I didn't care, to think I'd be here long enough to 'heal' from my trauma like my social worker said I needed too, would be crazy.

I walked, well more of limped, down the stairs fir breakfast. They slept in til 6am here, at other houses they would be done with you by 2am, and get you back up for chores by 4am. I still didnt sleep much, 1. because I didnt trust for someone not to kill me in my sleep, and 2, because I couldn't because of nightmares.

I had already had a pannick attack, I can't show them that I am weaker than they thought. So the best way to hide the nightmares was to not sleep at all. I was used to it, but by the 5th day of not sleeping I was dragging.

"Whats wrong Kaz? You look very tired. Have you been sleeping?" Mr. Fahey interrogated me.

I couldn't talk so I signed 'nothing, I'm fine'. Nina who was sitting across from me had a nag for languages. So she translated me to Colm and Jesper.

"Are you sure?" Mr. Fahey asked.

Instead of forcing Nina to translate again I just nodded my head. After that I decided to clean up my plate with 3/4ths of a waffle left on it. I don't have an eating disorder. Well, I do, but it's not my fault I couldn't handle much food because I had never ate much. The largest meal I've had in the last 9 years was the waffles I'd had at the Fahey house.

"Kaz, wait." Nina said as she followed me to the kitchen. Instead of talking she decided to sign to me, "why don't you eat much? Do you not like the food?" she signed to me.

"The food is good. I just don't eat much." I signed back trying to end the conversation.

"Why not?" she said aloud this time. I wish she would just leave me alone.

"None of your buisness, but since you apparently need to know. It's because I've never had alot of food so I can't handle alot of food." I sign slower than usual so she can understand.

"I'm sorry" she signs with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Its fine, I don't need your sympathy." I signed sharply, and quickly turning to walk away, leaning heavily on my cane to avoid falling asleep standing, and to avoid falling in general.

Jesper had been a better roommate than I had expected. He respected my side of the room, didnt touch me, didnt turn his alarm so loud that it would scare me in the morning, and didn't go through my stuff.

Overall, it was like he wasn't even there. Just how I liked it, right? For some reason I wanted to bond with Jesper, to become friends, and maybe even brothers. Since it was the middle of summer and everyone Nina and Jesper knew had been out of town, it was just us three.

It was actually one of the best 3 weeks of my life so far. I had adjusted decently, started sleeping twice a week, only for short amounts of time. Which usually resulted in Jesper trying to wake me up without touching or yelling at me. He had noticed how I was triggered by these things. Which I was Thankful for.

Apparel Nina got the message late. It had been "Family game night", and everyone was playing poker. My personal favorite game, because I always won.

"How is Kaz winning every round!" she yelled to the ceiling. I tried to hide my flinch but failed miserably. Nina looked down at me and whispered sorry, and continued to put her hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't tell who was more freaked out, me, or Nina. As soon as her hand touched my arm I jumped up and fell away from her, finding the nearest wall and rocking against it.

I think this must have been the first time Nina had heard my voice, "no, no, NO!" I continued the mantra as I rocked and covered my head with my arms. The water filling up my lungs and surrounding my body, the feeling of corpses and people touching me. I wanted to pass out and die.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean too, it was a reflex, oh my god! Colm I'm sorry!" I started ranting, looking down at my hands. I had just caused a pannick attack on Kaz.

I shouldve known better, I knew the rules, dont touch or yell at Kaz. The same rules had been in place for Inej for quite a while. So why had I patted his shoulder. How did I mess up this bad.

"Hey Nina calm down! He'll be ok. It's alright, if anything, this means that neither of us are going to make this mistake again." Jesper said as he wrapped me in a soothing hug. It felt nice, we were both touchy people who liked to hold hands and hug.

Kaz had a mantra as he rocked back and forth, Colm had put a pillow behind his head to stop him from hitting his head against the wall. My heart was breaking, Kaz was a year younger than me, and seeing him like this was painful.

Eventually he slowed down, pulled at his gloves, trying to pull them on tighter even though that wasn't possible. He looked up like he was about to get hit, then me and Jesper handed him a glass of water, an ice pack, some crackers, and a blanket.

He stood up with his cane, game forgotten, and walked up the stairs without a sound besides the click of the cane. I apologized as he walked up the stairs, returned by a 'thank you, I forgive you' in sign language. I was glad that the language classes had payed off.

Thats the end of the chapter, Please rate this story and if yall have any ideas Send them to me. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed,

Cheerio