A/N: I'm so bored of doing notes, that I had to take a break – so here we are! This is depressing, so have something cheery to do after this XD
3 days later:
Katara's POV:
I can't help it. I avoid him like the plague. I know it's not his fault. Not really. Not at all. But why does it feel like that?
The broken expression on the young airbender's face makes an unbidden appearance in my mind, making me feel like vomiting as guilt swirls within me. Mum's dead because Dad refused to reveal Aang's location. 'Why didn't he tell us something?'
I've been ignoring his texts too. Too furious that he's indirectly the cause of Mum's death. And what's worse he knew. 'Is that why he was such a wreck? Does he blame himself? Would he have changed things if he knew what would happen?'
My stomach drops when I wonder what would've happened to Aang. 'He said the gang wanted him for his genius. Why? What would they do to him if he refused?' I shake my head, refusing to contemplate it even further.
And Sokka? He must've known. That's why he closed up. He's just an angry as I am. But he kept me out of it. Hid it like everyone else around me. It feels like betrayal. In more ways than one.
When Yue wouldn't stop giving me sympathetic looks, I confronted her about it and she said Sokka told her about what happened. 'The nerve of him! She was my friend first; he can't just spill things like that. Especially when she now treats me like delicate glass.'
I shake my head. A nudge to my side, has me glancing to my left to see Yue giving me a concerned expression. I sigh, knowing I shouldn't really be mad at her. She just cares.
I smile at her and try to re-focus on the lecture. But Immunology is the last thing I care about right now, so I'm not surprised when the hour slips by slowly. I stiffly get to my feet when the lecturer finally concludes the session, but I pause when I feel a tug at my sleeve.
"Hey, what's up? You've been more detached than usual." Yue questions as she slings her bag over her shoulder. I do likewise and start exiting the lecture hall.
"Just stuff." I mutter. The white head knits her eyebrows at me.
"Is this about your..." I interrupt her before she can finish.
"No!" I snap, making the girl recoil. I slump my shoulders. "Yes. Maybe. It's complicated." I say with a sigh, bringing my hand to my head. I feel her nudging my arm.
"Come on, let's go to that cafe on campus." Yue urges and starts leading me to the small coffee shop. After we've ordered and taken a seat, she opens her mouth again. "Right, out with it. I'm not going to keep asking your brother when there's something wrong with you." Yue orders. I bite my tongue, holding off a retort.
"Some...information came up about the people who...killed my Mum." I mutter as I fiddle with the coffee lid. Yue's frown smooths out as she rubs her eyes.
"Spirits of the moon, not you too." The girl expresses in frustration. I blink twice at her in confusion.
"What?" I echo as the girl shakes her head.
"I forced it out of Sokka a few days ago. He's mad at Aang for being indirectly the cause of what happened to...your Mum. And by the look on your face, I'm guessing you found out too." The white head explains. I stare at her.
"What does my brother not tell you?" I utter, feeling slightly irritated.
"I am very persistent." Yue says simply. I shake my head.
"I'm not mad at him, I'm...conflicted. I don't know what to feel." I correct as I rub my tired eyes. Sleep has become a luxury that I haven't had in a while. The white head chews her lips before exhaling.
"I understand why you both feel this way, but you can't really blame him. It isn't his fault a dangerous gang is after him." Yue points out, sounding completely rational, 'so why can't I feel the same?'
"That doesn't change the fact that my Mum was killed because they were looking for him." I remind, my heart aching every time I mention the 'kill' word.
"You're forgetting that he lost his parents and the orphanage because of them." The white head throws back. A conclusion that I came to myself after I sat down to think about it properly. My throat tightens, knowing how much that must torture him.
"I know." I whisper quietly.
"I can't imagine how much he must blame himself for everything." Yue adds, making me jerk my head up. "His parents died. People in the orphanage that he undoubtedly got close to. And now your mum. He must hate himself. It's a wonder that he hasn't gone insane or depressed." Something about Yue's words has alarm bells ringing in my head.
"Depressed?" I repeat back, prompting the girl to shrug.
"You know, we learnt about it a couple of weeks ago?" The white head says, but when she catches the embarrassment on my face, she tsks. "You haven't listened to it yet, have you?" She states bluntly. I flush.
"A lot of things have been going on. I don't have time to listen to every lecture recording." I say in defence, only for the girl to roll her eyes.
"Well, let me give you a quick recap; someone with depression have low energy levels, insomnia, self-harm, limit their social interactions and a bunch of other stuff, but those are the key ones." Yue's voice continues to rattle on about how I should be trying harder with my studies, but my mind is too caught up on the word 'self-harm' and Aang's bizarre behaviour when I wanted to roll up his sleeves. 'Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot.' I push my chair back suddenly, surprising the white head who looks up at me in worry.
"I've got to go." I announce abruptly, already snatching my bag from the floor.
"Why? What's going on?" She fires back with wide eyes. I shake my head at her.
"Probably nothing. I just need to go. Thank you for being such an awesome friend Yue." I murmur gratefully, giving her hand a brief squeeze before running out of the cafe and making a beeline to my accommodation. I go up two steps at a time as I rush to my floor.
My feet skid to Aang's door and I knock on it almost frantically. No answer. I punch the wooden door, but it barely shudders. 'Spirits! I need a key...' An idea hits me and bending some water from a nearby plant, I freeze it and mould the ice into a key. It takes a few tries before I finally hear the lock click.
I push open the door, knowing that this is a serious invasion of privacy, but frankly not caring. 'I just need to know Aang is ok. That I didn't just push him over the edge.'
My eyes flicker over the empty room, my heart sinking until I notice that the bathroom door is slightly ajar. I go over and nudge it open to find a topless Aang holding a small pocket knife in one hand that hovers over the skin of his forearm.
His head snaps up when he hears me and his hand jerks down accidently as he jumps to his feet. A hiss escapes his lips and when he looks down, he finds he's accidently slit his wrist.
"Spirits." He grits out as he drops the knife to the floor. It clatters loudly as he clamps his good hand over the wound, but I can already see red leaking through his fingers. I jump forward when he starts swaying and catch him before he hits the ground.
I lower us to the floor, holding his shoulders tightly while my heart beats rapidly against my ribcage. His hold loosens around his wrist, allowing more blood to flow out of the open gash. His head rolls onto my chest as his body slumps.
"Aurgh, how did you get in?" He asks while squinting up at me and I can tell he's close to passing out. I ignore the question as I reach over him to clasp his hand, bringing my other hand around as I pluck water from the toilet.
I cringe, knowing that this isn't the slightest bit hygienic especially after all those lectures I've had on the consequences of infections. 'But this is healing. It doesn't matter where the water is from, it will do the job.' At least that's what I tell myself when I make the water glow, praying that it's not too late. Praying that I can save him.
I feel him further slumping against me and tears prick my eyes as I beg the water to do its job. I watch the glow continue for several more moments before it fades and when I withdraw my hand, I find the wound has closed up, a faint white line is the only evidence that it ever existed in the first place.
"Aang?" I probe fearfully when he doesn't move. Blinding worry grips my heart when he doesn't respond and I have to shake his bare shoulder before he finally releases a groan.
"Ouch." He mutters as his eyes flicker open. I almost sag in relief at seeing him awake.
"Thank the spirits." I breathe out as I wind my arms around the boy, hugging him tightly and never wanting to let go. Tears spill over my cheeks as I cry. "Spirits I thought I lost you and it would've been all my fault." I choke out. A hand moves up to rest on mine.
"Hey, I'm the one with the dumb knife." Aang points out with a wry smile. I shake my head, refusing to answer, still shaken up by what I just saw.
"Why?" I croak out. I feel the boy cringing beneath me. He starts to withdraw, but I tighten my grip around him, not wanting to let him go. I feel his eyes on me, but I keep my hold on him as my heart continues to beat frantically. I'm barely able to restrain myself from burying my head into his shoulder.
"Hey I'm fine." The airbender reassures as he pats my arm awkwardly. I swallow and reluctantly pull back, allowing the boy to scoot out of my lap as he sits across me.
I take this time to gaze at him. When he said he had tattoos everywhere, I thought he was exaggerating, but now I see the blue markings twisting around his whole arm, ending as an arrow at his hands and when he shifts slightly, I spot another line on his back, going all the way down past the waistband of his trousers and out of sight. The airbender catches me looking and raises his arms.
"They follow my chi path." He explains. I blink twice, finally realising that I've been staring and I feel my cheeks pinken.
"They're really cool." I murmur, unable to stop assessing them. When Aang's face heats up, I force myself to tear my eyes away, but they flicker back when I spot the various faded lines on his arm. Scars.
My stomach plummets and I shift onto my knees to take a closer look. I take his left arm in my hands and run a thumb across the raised surface. Tears prick my eyes once more. 'I was a jerk to him and he was doing this? Could I be any worse?' My stomach clenches.
"You weren't meant to find out. Not even Ro...my guardian knows." Aang whispers. I file the way he refuses to mention his guardian's name for another time.
"You shouldn't be dealing with this alone. It isn't healthy." I argue, ignoring the fact that I'm kind of being a hypocrite. Aang fists his trousers, his knuckles going white from how tight he's clenching his hands.
"I'm..." He starts, but I cut him off with a glower.
"You're not fine! I know what fine looks like and you're definitely not it." I fire back firmly as I go to pick up his arm again. "Look at what you've done to yourself." I continue, my lips trembling until I press them together.
"I deserve it." Aang mutters as his gaze drops to his scars. I take him by the shoulders.
"No, you don't! None of this was your fault." I emphasise strongly, only for the airbender to furrow his eyebrows.
"But you..." He starts and I already know where he's going with this, so I shoot him down before he can finish.
"I was wrong. I...I knew it wasn't your fault, I just needed time to digest it. And Sokka is being a stubborn jerk. He'll come around and if he doesn't then so help me I'll slap him till he does." I state firmly, making the boy's lips twitch into a smile. Until melancholy looms over him once more and his features fall.
"That doesn't change what happened. My parents were killed because of me. So was everyone at the orphanage and now you're mum. I...I'm so sorry." Aang voices thickly as he stares at his hands. I reach forward and take them in my own.
"Don't be sorry. If there's anyone to blame it's that gang. They need to be stopped." I utter vehemently. The airbender hunches his shoulders slightly.
"I don't know how. And...and your family is in danger as it is." My ears perk up at this.
"Wait. What?!" I echo back with wide eyes, making the boy sag his shoulders.
"I don't recall meeting Hakoda before, but he must have my picture or something since he was targeted because he knew my location. The Triple Z won't stop until they find me. I...I'm so so sorry. This is all my fault." Aang mutters as he runs a hand through his short black hair.
I blink, realising he's not wearing his usual hat and instead that large blue arrow on his forehead stares back at me. I give myself a mental shake. 'So not important right now.' I rebuke myself.
"Dad has security at work, so we can just..." I start.
"It's not just him." The airbender butts in.
"Oh." I exhale out. "I've got my bending, but Sokka..." I trail off, knowing he'd hate it if I said he was defenceless, but even with his minor sword training, he doesn't stand a chance against a gang. "Spirits, maybe I can ask Toph to be his personal bodyguard." I mutter to myself, despite knowing how ridiculous that will sound.
"Toph?" Aang echoes back blankly. I blink.
"Oh right, we've never introduced you two properly. We'll have to do that at lunch sometime. She's Sokka's flatmate and a great earthbender." I explain, but Aang's face twists.
"I don't think bending is enough." He mumbles. I stare at him.
"What makes you think that?" I question in disbelief.
"I just know." He voices bitterly. I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"Bending has always protected me when I've needed it. If this gang's method of attack is setting fire to things, then water does extinguish fire." I express, sounding more confident than I feel. I watch as Aang suddenly gets to his feet and turns his back, giving me full view of the tattoo that runs down his spine.
"I saw master airbenders taken down by them. Bending isn't always faster than guns." The airbender utters stiffly. I still at the word 'guns', for more reasons than one.
"Guns? How do you...?" I trail off when I see his back muscles grow rigid. His hands clench.
"Because I saw it. Before the orphanage burnt down." At his quiet words, I find myself rising to my feet slowly as sick realisation runs through me.
"You saw them using the guns on...?" I falter, my voice sounding detached from my body as nausea washes over me. Aang's body somehow becomes more tense.
"Yeah. They killed them. All my mentors, including G-Gyatso. Right in front of me and I was just so useless. I didn't do anything. I just watched all their blood spray the walls. The life draining out of them and then I ran like a coward. A useless, useless coward." As Aang's voice gets louder, the strangest thing happens. His tattoos begin to grow bright white. "I should've done something. I could've saved him."
A rush of wind starts picking up around us, but despite the complete weirdness of what's going on, the only thing I can seem to focus on is how much Aang's body shakes with anger and hurt. I try to step forward, to reach him, but the wind pushes me back and I have to cover part of my face with one hand as the rushing air increases in power.
"None of it is fair." His voice thunders, so unlike the kind young boy I first met a few months ago.
My grip on the floor weakens and I find myself flying backwards. I grab the toilet door as air swirls around, almost like a hurricane in the small room. Papers are shredded into pieces and the desk chair flies into the wall. 'Spirits, what do I do?! I've never seen him like this before.' I think to myself as worry fills me.
"Why did I have to be such a waste of space?" My heart stops at hearing those muttered words and with renewed strength, I push my stiff feet forward.
"Aang, that's not true!" I shout over the rushing wind. His head snaps towards me and I almost flinch when I find myself staring into bottomless, glowing eyes. Fury and pain are etched so deeply into his features, that it makes me physically ache at seeing it there.
"Yes, it is. I'm just a failure " The airbender spits out bitterly. I bite the inside of my cheek and force myself to take another step, tightening my grip on the wall.
"You're not to me!" I holler back before dropping my voice. "You're...you're special to me, ok? I know you're hurting and I know it's easier to direct that hatred towards yourself, but it just isn't true. You're kind and forgiving and deserve the world. I...you made my time at uni bearable even after I lost my mum. Everyone you lost aren't really gone, they still live within you. You are their legacy and I'll do whatever it takes it to remind you of that." I express fervently just as I stretch out a hand to grasp his wrist.
I pull him into my chest and wrap my arms around him, wanting to squeeze all the pain right out of him. It's several moments before I notice that the raging wind has settled to a gentle breeze before ceasing completely. Those eerie glowing eyes and tattoos are replaced with their usual stormy eyes and blue markings.
"I'm sorry Katata." The boy chokes out as he buries his face into me. I hug him harder.
"You have nothing to be sorry about." I hush back and continue to hold him, wishing I could take away his anguish.
A/N: How are we all? Still hanging in there? Good, I'm not done yet XD Well, actually the next few chapters aren't that angsty, but I do have more angst in store for later. I really need to get a move on with writing new chapters, I kinda took a break from writing new PE chapters and ended up writing a short Black Widow fic (sorry!) I still have 3 chapters already written up for this, but yeah that's gonna run out soon, so I need to get a move on huh? Next chapter is in Zuko's POV and I'm gonna stick to my random updates for the meantime, which surprisingly isn't as irregular as I thought it would be. Anyway, hope you all are doing well!
30/10/21