Chapter 8: If Things Had Been Different

A/N: Here's where things start to get interesting but also have the same themes as the end of last chapter...

Last Time:

"Why? Why does no one care? Why doesn't anyone bother to help me, to love me?"

A little inner voice snarked at her. "You know exactly why. You have no purpose. You're a good-for-nothing waste of oxygen. You're worthless. That's why no one wants you."

Lip trembling, Katara buried her face in her knees, willing all of the pain swirling in her arm and head to just stop, just once.

"Please."

For the rest of the day, Katara walked around in a daze, both her body and mind numb with pain, and her reason to live forgotten. She became a shell of herself, operating on routine because doing anything else would break her.

In each class, she took her spot in the back of the room, pleading with the universe not to get called on, and not sparing the most miniscule of glances towards Aang, despite the way he looked back at her every few minutes.

Finally, the end of last period came, and she was able to gather her things and go home. The waterbender hurried to her locker, quickly grabbing her books and lunch, shoving in her book bag, and ran to her car, sitting in the driver's seat and turning the ignition.

Upon stopping at a red light and checking her mirrors, she realized with dread that there was a familiar white-with-painted-blue-arrows car behind following her, because of course, Mr. Iroh said the talks had to be every freaking day. And they had to do extra to make up for last time. Great.

Taking deep breaths and blinking her frustrated tears back, she gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and kept going on her usual route home, barely managing to stop herself from crashing on purpose.

Katara parked her car and got her backpack, power-walking to her front door and running up to her room, slamming and locking the door behind her to be left alone for a while.

As she sat on her bed, she choked back a sob, before finally giving in and letting the tears fall freely down her face.

"I don't want to live. I have no reason to. No friends, a family that I barely ever see, a whole school full of people that are always telling me to just die and save them the trouble. Why must the universe be so cruel as to make me live? I am nothing."

Shaking, the girl pushed off the covers and buried herself in them, wanting to get away from the world, if only for a few minutes. Katara hummed a lullaby to herself, one her mother always sang to her before bed, and just laid there, numb.

Knock, knock

Jolting upright, the waterbender wiped any evidence of her tears and plastered on a fake neutral expression, one she used often at school and had spent years perfecting that gave the appearance that she couldn't care less about what was happening before unlocking and opening her bedroom door.

She was met with Aang, looking somewhat sheepish, bookbag swung over his shoulder, rubbing his neck.

He cleared his throat. "May I come in?"

Stepping to side, Katara wordlessly answered his request, locking the door and sitting back down on her bed, him next to her.

The two sat in a tense silence, the air around them hostile as they each focused on mundane things like the wall or bed sheets.

The waterbender tilted her head up and looked Aang in the eye, uttering only one soft, shaky word.

"Why?"

The boy looked up at her as the silence was broken, not knowing how to respond to the girl he had hurt, choosing instead to feebly say, "You know why."

Katara let out a quick, breathy laugh, almost a scoff, and replied, "Maybe I do, but I want to hear you say it."

The airbender internally cringed, knowing his excuse was such a pathetic one, if one at all.

The silence between them lasted for seemingly decades, just begging to be torn, before it finally was.

"Because..." he said.

The girl raised her eyebrow, prompting for more.

"My reputation?" Aang squeaked.

Katara let our a mirthless laugh, more of a maniacal one really, and looked at him incredulously.

"Your reputation?! Your goddamn reputation is more important than real friends, real relationships, and being the real you?!"

She just shook her head darkly and smiled humorlessly at him, staring into his soul.

"But that's just high school, isn't it?" she whispered, her glimmering eyes reflecting how her struggles had shaped her, experiences that no one deserved to go through.

The waterbender went under her covers to lie down once more, feeling no bigger than the little girl she had been at her mother's funeral, watching the casket with her body be buried 6 feet under, covered with dirt and a few measly flowers.

She took a shaky breath before continuing her questioning, although about a different subject altogether.

"You could change it," she said to the boy looking forlornly at her. "You're the Avatar; people would follow you if you showed your true self, the funny, kind, corny, sweet one that is begging to be released but isn't. The one that you should be but you won't. The one that everyone would love, regardless of your popularity. I know that everyone would the love the real you."

Katara paused, debating to speak her final thoughts.

She whispered as softly as she could, mostly to herself.

"Because I love you."

Aang's eyes widened, listening the speech and barely catching the last part but hearing it nonetheless.

"You-," he asked incredulously, gulping,"You love me?" Hesitating, the waterbender nodded, clutching the sheets tighter around herself.

"It would never work- you know that," he said to her, forcing his questions down.

"I know," Katara said quietly, sounding just as small as she felt now that her secret was out, "but a girl can dream, can't she?"

The two sat in absolute quiet, contemplating what had just transpired, one of them feeling chained to the reality she was facing that her life would never change, and the other was conflicted, not knowing what to make of it.

Katara broke the silence. "Aang?"

Turning towards her, "Mm?"

The girl took a deep breath. "If things had been different?"

Aang's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

She turned to face him, now on her side. "If things had been different, would there have been a chance that this," Katara gestured between them, "could've become more than a figment of my imagination."

The airbender gave her a small smile. "Maybe. Just maybe."

A/N: Ooooh, and the plot thickens. I know, it's been forever, but I kept my streak! 20 days since I last updated. I'm going to try and make it a goal to get each chapter 1000+ words and published every 1 - 2 weeks because this was written in literally 1 day, it just takes me forever to get the motivation and ideas to write again. Remember, reviews can inspire to update more often!