"What is it that you are so afraid of?" Leia asks me.

"What if I'm not strong enough to resist the darkness?"

"You're strong enough to resist the light. How would it be any different?" she replies.

I shrug at her. I know she's probably right, but the unknown is as gray as I am.

"Thank you for believing in me even when I'm struggling to believe in your cause," I grimace.

She laughs lightly.

"You can be a good person and not support a war. I often wish there was a less violent way to resolve things, but I know first hand how stubborn Kylo can be," she says with sadness.

"You do?" I ask, trying to mask my surprise.

"El, you know I love you like my own daughter, right?" she asks, taking my hand in hers.

"Of course, but what-"

"I think it's time for me to share my secret with you, then," she interrupts.

I calmly wait, squeezing her hand for encouragement.

"Kylo Ren wasn't always Kylo. He used to go by a different name. Ben. My Ben. Ben Solo."

I jerked awake. As the memory started to fade, I held on tight to two things. I had a name, and Kylo had a mother.

I laid there trying to imagine all the different possibilities for what "El" might be short for. Elisabeth? Eliza? Eleanor? I laughed, each name feeling less fitting than the previous. I had grown accustomed to my new name. It sounded better, and it tagged me as the girl from the stars. The mysterious nature gave me some control back, and I wasn't sure I'd be willing to give that up.

A gentle knock brought me out of my head.

"Come in."

"Good morning, sunshine. How are you feeling?" HR asked, carrying a tray of food over.

I wrinkled my nose at him.

"I dunno. I had another dream. Leia called me 'El'. I've been thinking all morning about what it could be short for, but I think I like Astra better. Maybe I could ask Kylo before training now that I have a hint as to who I was."

"About that," he started, removing his helmet, "Master Ren sent word that there won't be training today. He wants to start tomorrow."

"What? Why?"

He shrugged.

"No clue, but I'm really not sure about being your escort anymore if I have to keep having these interactions with the Supreme Leader."

His face scrunched, and I gently punched his arm.

"Do you have things to do today?"

"Sadly, yes. Captain Phasma wants to start training me for a promotion," he mumbled.

"A promotion! Shouldn't that be a good thing?!"

"I guess. Just seems like it's out of nowhere. The only place I've shown any sort of potential is the kitchen."

"When did this all happen?" I asked, getting a bad feeling about it all.

"This morning...after she asked me to tell you that Master Ren was canceling training with you today."

"WHAT?! HR. Why did you agree to it if you don't want it?"

He shrugged.

"This is my life, Astra. There are no other options for me. If I do this, I could have my own group of stormtroopers to oversee. I could command them to do all the shit jobs and maybe have time to hang out in the kitchen more!"

He laughed, but I could sense his unease. I didn't like the timing of it all. Especially since Kylo had lingered on my memories with HR for longer than the rest. Was it possible that he was actually jealous of HR? I didn't appreciate him trying to limit my friendship just to ease his insecurities. I wouldn't let him control me.

"I expect a full update over dinner tonight," I said more intensely than I intended.

"Absolutely. Anyway, I'd better get going. I'll see you later!"

I hugged him tightly, forcing down my frustration with Kylo since it was just speculation. There wasn't much I could do until our next training, anyway. I had no way to have someone to take me to his quarters. I would literally be trapped in my room all day with just my thoughts to keep me company.

After eating my breakfast, I tried to busy myself with some physical exercise. When that got tiresome, I sat down to attempt meditating. Crossing my legs, I shut my eyes and slowed my breath. As I was on the brink of complete relaxation, my door slammed open.

"What?" I growled at the stormtrooper.

"I have orders from Master Ren to bring you to your new room."

"My what?"

"You're being moved," he said matter-of-factly.

"To where?"

"C848."

"I don't even know where that is!"

"I am tasked with taking you there, ma'am," he responded, grabbing my arm and guiding me out.

Ok. So Kylo was absolutely up to something. It was much too coincidental now. I let the stormtrooper lead me as my mind wandered. I was unable to focus on one thing for long, and then I started to wonder if all these changes were meant as part of the training. Distractions to test how sharp I truly was.

Fine. I could play that game. I wasn't going to give him that control without a fight.

The door to my new room was entirely different than the first. The lock pad no longer consisted of numbers. Instead, it asked for an iris scan.

"Put your eye here. I'll set it up for you," the stormtrooper said.

I frowned at him but stepped in front of it, opening my eye wide. I watched as he went through and saved my scan, choosing not to allow anyone else to be added without my iris to approve it.

"Who else has access?" I asked.

"The Supreme Leader and whoever else you choose to give access."

I tilted my head.

"I'm free to come and go as I please?"

"That is the new order, yes."

"Thank you. That will be all," I said, dismissing him.

When he was out of sight, I scanned my eye, looking through the options. Under the list of approved people was myself and Kylo (whom I was unable to remove). I was excited to add HR later. Exiting out of the settings, I scanned once more, and the door slid open.

I gasped when the room was revealed. There was a small kitchen, a couch, a simple dining table, a separate bedroom, a bathroom with a bath and shower, and a view of the sky. I couldn't understand why it was given to me, but I felt grateful at that moment.

I closed my eyes, focusing on sending my thanks to Kylo. When after a few minutes, I was met only with silence, I gave up.

My first task was taking a bath. As much as I enjoyed the pressure of a shower, soaking in hot water sounded heavenly. Now that I had a clock in my room, I noted the time was 4:37 pm. I still had just over an hour before I had to meet HR.

I stayed in the tub until the water was chilly, then quickly dried off and got dressed. I still had some time before HR would be done, but I wanted to catch him before he got a plate of mush.

When I exited my room, I panicked. I had no idea where I was. I tried to let the Force guide me to HR, figuring that was probably the safest bet. To my surprise, I was just a short walk from the training room I had been using. I suddenly wondered if there were others I hadn't known about.

Trusting my gut, I waited outside. When I was about to give up, HR came out. He was in simple training clothing, and my surprised eyes traced the muscles of his body.

"You've been holding out on me!" I shouted, poking his pectoral.

He winced.

"Ow. What are you doing here?" he asked breathlessly.

"I have something to show you!" I said, grabbing his hand.

"Astra! Slow down. I'm not equipped for any more strenuous movements!"

"Sorry, but I promise we don't have far to go," I grinned.

He sighed, pushing to keep up with me.

"I need your eye," I suddenly said to him when we reached my door.

"You what?"

I turned around to repeat myself, taking note of how utterly exhausted he looked. I smiled apologetically, slowing myself down for him. I went through the settings to add him, typing in the name I called him, then pulled him in front of the sensor.

"Look in there," I directed.

"Aye, aye."

He smirked, holding his face over the sensor. He straightened up when it made a sound, and I finished setting him up.

"OK. Look there again," I said.

This time when he did, the door slid open.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed. "This is..."

"Right?! The fridge is stocked with food, so I figured if you're feeling up to it, we could make something here. But before we do that, I have to show you the bathroom."

I skittered over to the bedroom, opening the door and stepping over to present the bathroom to him.

"Ta-da! My very own shower and bathtub! If you would like to test out my new setup, I will get out some ingredients for dinner."

"Astra, I didn't even know the base had rooms this nice. I'm never leaving."

I laughed, and he joined in.

"Alright, but I get the bed."

"Kylo gave you this?" he asked when our laughter fizzled out.

"I think he's doing it to test me," I frowned. "All of it. You starting training. This new room. Canceling our training. It's just too many coincidental things. You know?"

"It has been a strange day," he winced as he shifted.

"I want you to tell me all about it. After you shower."

"Yes. And luckily, I brought a change of clothes in my bag."

"Perfect! I'll leave you to it!"

As I stepped away, he removed his shirt. I couldn't stop myself from taking a peek at the muscular form that hid beneath. Before this, he had been a human head on a stormtrooper body. I never really imagined what might be behind the rest of his armor.

I shook away the thoughts, heading to the kitchen and grabbing things that seemed to go together before eventually admitting defeat while snacking on some nuts. My mind started to wander while I waited for HR. Trying to force myself to fill blanks that weren't ready to return.

"Gave up already?"

"Huh?" I jumped slightly.

"With dinner," he chuckled.

My gaze traveled to him. His damp hair sticking out in all directions. I grinned.

"I figured it would be safer for both of us if you were in charge of food. I can clean up."

"Probably wise. Don't have time to end up sick from your cooking."

"Hey!" I shouted, tossing a nut at him.

He dodged it, laughing lightly.

"You sit. I'll cook and tell you about training."

"Deal!"

I slid a chair out from the table, placing my chin in my hands, and staring directly at him.

"Well, when I arrived, Phasma attacked without warning. Luckily, my natural reflexes saved me from most of the blow of her stick. She looked impressed then told me to pick out my own. Now, most of the training I had was dodging and shooting, so wielding a long, thin slab of wood was foreign and a bit awkward. It took some time for me to get used to it."

He paused to look for a cutting board, so I jumped in.

"Did she explain why you were there?"

"Well, she didn't."

"What?" I asked, catching the emphasis.

He sighed. I could actually feel him struggling for the right words to say.

Just tell her.

"Tell me what?" I asked, responding to his internal dialog without realizing.

He shot up his eyebrows at me.

"How long have you been able to listen to thoughts?" he whispered.

I frowned.

"That's only the second time that I can remember. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to invade your privacy. It just kind of happens," I flushed.

He nodded, humming for a brief moment.

"Well, in the last couple of hours of training, Master Ren showed up."

"WHAT?! WHY?! DID HE HURT YOU?!" I shouted as I shot out of my seat.

HR chuckled.

"Not exactly. He told me that I was being trained more so that... more bodies could protect you effectively out in the field," he grimaced.

A pan flew across the room, smashing into the wall.

"I'm. Not. Fighting." I growled through my gritted teeth.

He threw up his hands.

"Don't shoot the messenger!"

I caught the flash of fear on his features and instantly calmed. Sitting back down, my face fell into my hands.

"I'm sorry. Kylo tends to bring out my most extreme emotions. Our training tomorrow will be my demise."

I laughed, trying to ease HR.

"May I continue?"

I nodded.

"Great. So, after he dropped that lovely bomb on me, he threatened to destroy me himself if I ever hurt you. Then he left."

I felt a blush paint my cheeks. So, not only had Kylo given me all of this, but he assumed that my relationship with HR went beyond friendship and was allowing that? I couldn't ignore the disappointment that he wouldn't choose to fight for me, but the sweet gesture gave me hope that we could actually end this war.

"I know you don't need to hear this, but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You, on the other hand. If you so much as think about ending up in the medical wing, I will kick your ass."

He chortled.

"Aye, aye," he saluted.

"So, what happened the last two hours of training?" I asked, recalling that he had exited the room sweaty and breathless.

"Phasma said, 'I don't care about your personal life unless it affects me directly. Now, fight.' And then she came at me relentlessly. I think maybe she also has a soft spot for you."

That brought a smile to my face. Confirmation that she actually did care boosted my ego. I was glad to know it wasn't all in my head.

"How often do you have to train?"

"The three days you don't."

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you are always welcome to use my shower and kitchen."

"Yeah? You sure you just don't want me around so you don't die of food poisoning?"

"Maybe," I replied coyly.

The rest of the evening was filled with lighthearted laughter. The conversation was effortless, though it didn't last long once we finished eating because I could tell that his fatigue was quickly winning over.

"Thank you for a delicious meal. I hope you won't hate me tomorrow when you wake up."

"I could never hate you! Though maybe check that again after I start my duties," he laughed. "I'll be back in the morning to make you a proper meal before training."

"Thank you, HR. For everything. I'm truly grateful for your friendship."

I pulled him in for a tight hug, enjoying the heat of his body against mine. When we separated, he placed a kiss on my forehead, then silently let himself out.

Maybe Kylo was right. Maybe my feelings for HR went beyond just friends. I silently cursed him for adding another layer of confusion to my already questionable existence.